X newfag hereGrowing up I had severe religious ocd. Severe dissociation and brutal egodystonic suffering. I always liked neitsczhes hatred of Paul’s gay masochism.What are ways to find a gnostic like interpretation of Jesus’ teachings. Just something that doesn’t hold eternal hell over your head.
And Couple of years ago I finally found peace and acceptance w beginner tranny /x/ shit like crowley, Icarus, Lucifer, psychedelics, etc.. I had never felt better. but I ended up in psychosis for over year with no memory of the incident and had a paralyzing fear of hell even more so for blaspheming god. Prayed, confession, in dissociative fear. Eventually recovered a bit now where I don’t curse or blaspheme but I ask why I suffered for nothing.I still have that paralysis fear, even more so than before.Give schizo interpretation
>>42474987Why are you posting pictures of young men? That's very strange anon.On topic the second coming of christ by paramhansa yogananda is fantastic. It's not gnostic, it compare's christ's teachings to that of the hindus in fact, but it looks at them beyond the dogma and quotes each line of scripture before giving his interpretation of the deeper spiritual meaning of which you can either take or leave.
>>42475077I didn’t know he was young, I saved it because he looks just like me, young w an old soul.Is it like nag hammadi, more rejection of atonement, more so finding peace through the typical gnosis path skimmed on Reddit. I want to protect my inner child destroyed through paulcuckery while also indulging in hedonism while also loving jesus as a messenger not god
>>42475077>>42475138https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTBhCsRp5/Found this on memetok
>>42475138You can find a free pdf online. It's worth downloading and just reading the intro + first few chapters to see if they land with you and mesh. I've not read the nag hammadi so I can't comment on if it's like it or not.
>>42474987>>42475016I read both your posts. You have been through something real and I am not going to argue with you.What you experienced was not Christianity. It was scrupulosity, a form of OCD. Your brain latched onto religious concepts and turned them into torture. The God who became a man and let Himself be killed is not the God who wants you paralyzed in terror. Perfect love casts out fear. 1 John 4:18.The occult path made it worse. Crowley, psychedelics, Lucifer. You said it led to psychosis and more fear. Those are not neutral doors.About hell. The Eastern fathers understood this differently. St. Isaac of Nineveh taught that Gods love is like fire. Accept it, it warms you. Reject it, it burns. Same fire, different response.You do not need a gnostic reinterpretation. Gnosticism denies the body. But the Incarnation is the one thing that might help you. God became flesh because your flesh matters.Practical: go to a Catholic church when empty. Sit in the back. Do not pray. Just sit. The Blessed Sacrament is there regardless of what you feel. You are not beyond reach.
>>42477246You worship an egregore
>>42477246The story of the divine son/sun is a metaphor for the cycle of the seasons and linked to the spiritual death/rebirth experience of plant medicines. The son/sun is conceived during winter solstice by the golden phallus, the first rays of light (through sexual union, the 6 pointed star of David/hexagon of Saturn=> six pointed flower of life). He is born during the vernal equinox, reaches his peak at summer solstice, begins to fall during fall, like the fallen angel and dies during autumn, the story of duality, light/dark, yin/yang, good/bad. Summer solstice, when the sun passes between Gemini and Cancer is the Gate of Men. 21 december, winter solstice, when the sun passes between Sagittarius (ruled by Jupiter) and Capricorn is the Gate of the Gods, when the interdimensional veil gets thinner, to feed the evolutionary process of human intelligence. At this time, the constellation of the giant Orion occupies the midway between northern and southern hemisphere of the heavens, commands the winter sky in upwards position. The equinox, the central pillar is the equila, the equator, the aguila, the needle, the eagle, when the sun and its twin, the black sun Saturn meet. The male sky and sun god puts his golden phallus in the womb of the female earth and underworld and out of this sexual union, the new sun is born, rises, is erect, resurrected again, with his female companion, the Morning Star, the bringer of dawn, Phosp-Horus, Venus. Venus statues are made all across Europe (around the Danube, mother goddess Danu, Venus of Dolni Vestonice in Czechia).
That's a 60yo kid, practically barely legal you SICK FUCK
