Why do I hate meditation? Last time I _really_ meditated was over 10 years ago, when I was incarcerated. Basically forced to meditate. I lied down on my bed and felt like my heartbeat slowed to like 1 bpm. I saw a chamber with several cryptic doors on each side, and one on the front, each needing a key. Then I saw some kind of demon so I chose to get out of the state. It was powerful and made somewhat of an impact on me, as to how powerful meditation can be. Not as powerful as some Psilocybin trips I've done (one of which was an absolute nightmare but ended up cleansing me completely) but still memorable.Everyone is talking about breathwork, Robert E Grant, Steven Greer etc.Does having intent while meditating intellectualize the experience and acts as a distraction? Is it meant to be boring, so it can be rewarding?Why do you meditate, /x/
>>42494302>Why do I hate meditation?The story about the Buddha says that Mara, the demon king, showed up when the Buddha meditated under the Bodhi tree and got closer to enlightenment. Mara threw all his demons at him to stop him (but failed).It's said in buddhism that everyone who is meditating experiences this to some degree (and it gets worse when your meditation becomes better).So it naturally feels bad when you do it right.
To be honest I don't know why I meditate, I just started years ago after reading about it and it stuck with me since, if I was to answer that question I'd answer like this: I meditate because I believe that there is something to discover in meditation, like higher states of consciousness and realizations and also a clearer view of the world.>Does having intent while meditating intellectualize the experience and acts as a distraction? Good question, I'd say yes if your way of having intent is by thinking a lot about it. Otherwise maybe not.>Is it meant to be boring, so it can be rewarding?Sometimes it is, other times it's extremely intense and interesting, not all sits are the same. But I'd say that all of them (even the boring ones) are rewarding.Keep in mind that I'm no master or anything and I speak from personal experience so don't take anything I said seriously.
>>42494302My strategy, and I haven't confirmed that it works yet, is to be Zen because it's the only Aryan religion other than advaita vedanta, and study the Mahayana scriptures to such an extent that I have a foundational basis in the Sutras to swing to when I sit. I did this because most Zen works by being pointed by a Master, and I just took the scripture as Master because I don't know any monks. NB I'm not interested in just worshiping the text but I do get like that when I'm not interested in sitting.
>>42494702So for example if I find myself thinking "I am meditating," most new age practitioners will say, return to the breath or observe the thought. But I say>To think I am meditating is one kind of pride>To think I am not meditating is a second kind of pride>Pride is the root of suffering>To be free of pride is the highest liberationWhat comes from the Samadhiraja sutra, the gatha I memorized for merit
