I was in Dublin city and bumped into an old friend, someone I used to be close with that I haven't seen for years, as we were walking he told me that our other friend john who I have not seen in 15 years is still with Amy, they got together when they were teens and they broke up after a few years (irl). he explained they got back together, mid 30s now and have a little baby. Later we passed some steps we saw john he was lay down on the ground looking dead, with junkies, clearly doing heroin and had a band wrapped around his arm, he sat up when my friend Martin out to called him, he was happy to see him I said hi john its me, [real name] and he said oh shit its been so long how are you man, after some small talk Martin and I left and carried on through Dublin city.
Later we were in a shopping centre where we bumped into a blonde lady in her 40s who seemed attracted to me and I was attracted to her, she was Martins neighbour. They were talking and he was telling her how he just had to pay one of his colleagues 20k for commission because they made a 100k sale, he said he only had 23k in his bank and needs to wait for the 100k to come through but paid the 20k straight away because he is a good employer and wants his employees to be able to rely on him, throughout this time her and I kept making flirting non verbal body language towards each other, as she left I asked him if she was single and if I could ask her out, he told me she has a boyfriend.
I later asked him what the business was and he told me you know I already told u the idea, I said yeah but that was ages ago I cant remember, he said the shopping delivery service for elderly people, I said ooh yeah I remember, that's awesome, so you're rich now u have at least 100k in the bank, he said most of it was a tax write off, then we went to the bathrooms after saying goodbye to his neighbour and it was a junkie toilet, the urinals were full of junk and and tissues and was just nasty

as I was peeing I remember tripping and my penis landing inside one of the urinals and having a fear of catching HIV and fear of having to wait 6 months to be tested.
Next thing I remember I am meeting up with Martins neighbour and I go into her house, but it stops being Martins neighbour and it becomes my real life ex Martina from 8 years ago, she was the love of my life who I still miss to this day. We ordered Chinese, caught up and spent such a lovely time together, we used to live together for a few years but I was a very troubled alcoholic, I became abusive, angry, controlling and violent, she came from Italy and moved to my country to become an au pair, that's where I met her. She eventually quit being an au pair and came and lived with me. The relationship had its major highs and lows but we loved each other so much, we used to sometimes just stare into each others eyes deeply for hours , its nothing like I had ever experienced before or since. Unfortunately my fears of losing her and fear of rejection / abandonment most likely stemming from a troubled childhood where i had an abusive mother, multiple "dads" who would beat me (never knew my real dad) manifested and I became a two sided person. She used to tell me every morning if I asked her to marry me she will say yes and she was trying one year for a baby, she never get pregnant & got checked at hospital, she had ovarian cysts which messed up with her cycle & eggs. Anyway, one night I came home drunk, got angry, hit her and kicked her out of the house at around 3 am, she came back a short while later, knocked on the door and asked to get back in I said no and told her to fuck off. I was high drunk and crazy, but a few minutes later I unlocked the door for when she came back again, but next time she came back she was with the police, I was arrested, spent the night in jail and the next day I got home she was gone, back to Italy, and I never seen her again.

>>42656753
>>42656768
I have missed her every day since and have such guilt and remorse over what I did, she was the love of my life and I was the love of her life, she told me after she left that I was like two different people, one the man of her dreams, that it felt like a movie being with me and she couldn't believe how lucky she was to be with me and wanted to marry me and have my babies, but the other, so mean so cruel so terrible that it overrides the good and she couldn't stay. She then she cut all contact and I have not spoken to her in 8 years. I have tried to reach out via email many times over the years and know she read them due to my works email tracker, sometimes she would read them multiple times , like in one case years later she read one email 22 times in one day, but she never responded.
Anyway, martins neighbour in the dream turned into my ex Martina, but it didn't feel like she was my ex it felt like she was my current girlfriend, we were laying on the bed naked, I was spooning her and I was looking at her body through the mirror on the wall, it was so intimate and so lovely, I remember kissing her neck and it being very sensual, then we made love, I remember how nice it was to see her body and smell her and be close to her it felt so right and so perfect, then after we ordered Chinese and I spilled sweet and sour sauce all over the sheets, next thing I know it's morning & Martin had climbed up onto he balcony and it was no longer my ex laying next to me but his blonde neighbour and it turns out she was Martins ex and I was betraying him, I tried to hide but eventually he caught me.

>>42656784
The blonde neighbour and my ex then were about to drive me home after martin and I made up and were in the car, it was a nice sunny day and it was a convertible with the roof down, life felt good, but then I saw Martin again and I said stop ladies, I'm going to get out and catch up with Martin ill take a taxi home later. Martin and I walked backed into Dublin city, we went into the Ilac centre where I saw a huge crowd gather around a load of people on computers, they were all playing poker, in the back were lots of guys and I asked them if they were running a poker stable, they said yes and I was very keen to talk to them, I used to play online poker professionally for a year and a half and I got professional coaching staking and mentorship from one of the very well know professionals, and introduced myself, they were very keen for my inputs and my connections to help with their stable, they explained they had only started a few hours ago, it was 11pm at night now and they planned to play through until 1pm the next day. Then briefly we were in a field with the same poker guys and the guys on a computer, someone had won a prize and my brother was supposed to bring the money, which he did, after which I left.
I realized I had strayed far from home and I was lost and in a very dangerous part of the city, it was dark and full of danger, I remember feeling lost and full of fear, I remember I had 350 euros in my pocket which the poker guys gave me, then I stumbled into 3 mixed race guys, at first they were nice but then one came over and started a fight and was very aggressive, he started chasing me, I jumped over one wall and he tried to hit me and caught me slightly on the lip and then the leader of the group said calm down man come back here and acted like they were all just joking and let me go. I remember going into what seemed to be an abandoned house or something as I was so lost and tried to get away, I got into some sort of bedroom and waited.

>>42656787
I then got a text from the guy who had chased and hit me, he said he was sorry and he confused me for a different mark who was supposed to have 37k on them who they were meant to get, I text back saying no worries its all good. so I got up off the mattress, looked in the mirror and seen that my lip was a bit bloody and swollen. I then started walking down the abandoned stairs when the same aggressor from before appeared at the top of the bannisters, appearing to act friendly and nice but was holding a clear bottle which looked like it had acid in it, I instinctually knew he planned to dump the acid on me so I covered my face and head with my arms and ran down the stairs and as I did he started laughing and spraying the acid all over my head. I remember thinking I was lucky I couldn't feel any on my face but that I was probably going to go bald and deformed, I remember screaming in agony and next thing I know I'm inside a pharmacy I'm screaming for help and I jump on the floor rolling around begging them to call an ambulance, then I got a text from the aggressor and he told me that it was just onion water mixed with vinegar and there's nothing to worry about. I realized it was the fear of acid that was causing my reaction not the actual pain.

>>42656801
I left and I was back in the rough part of Dublin, which was just an idea of Dublin and not actual Dublin, it was day time, it was full of dishevelled looking women but who I remember thinking were all very were physically attractive, I was still trying to find my way home but I was lost, then it became night time and I was still wandering through the city. I remember trying to get the attention of a taxi but it was more like a tiki bus / taxi and other people got into it first, then I remember walking further down this strange bustling foreign street looking to wave down a taxi and then I woke up.
My real life girlfriend came into the room knocking on the door and told me it was 5pm and we needed to go to the shops, I had been asleep for 13 hours and the dream felt like it lasted all night/ day
I know this is very long winded and complex but wanted to get it all out while it was still fresh, I understand this may be triggering for some but I would appreciate some feedback on the meaning of this dream from any perspectives including Jungian / Freudian

Thank you so much and please forgive my honesty and revelations of my past.

bump

For starters, this is just me shooting from the hip based on my own experience of practicing dream interpretation for the past 8+ years. I’m not particularly familiar with psychological literature (Jung/Freud) beyond a basic understanding of the Anima/Animus, yet I’ve always happened to use a similar framework. Let me know whether this aligns with what you were hoping for.

>I was in Dublin city and bumped into an old friend, someone I used to be close with that I haven't seen for years
Bumping into old friends can mean revisiting the parts of yourself that they represent. In your case, the externalization of inner states into separate characters so that you can observe them is notable.
>still with Amy
You’re still a fighter in spirit and have embodied that throughout a period of time that feels akin to 15+ years — however long he’s been in the Army.
>they got together when they were teens and they broke up after a few years (irl)
>he explained they got back together, mid 30s now and have a little baby.
This parallels how you split with your ex, yet still wished for reconciliation and a family.
>Later we passed some steps we saw john he was lay down on the ground looking dead, with junkies, clearly doing heroin and had a band wrapped around his arm
You’re increasingly coming into awareness that this wishful thinking — the idea of a future together — is really a coping mechanism. You were getting “high” on the thought of having built your family unit without actually having done so, or learning to correctly perceive that what you did build ultimately fell apart. This is where you’re witnessing your own escapism from a third-person POV, since children require a great deal of presence, and perhaps you’re not ready for that yet (neither am I, admittedly).


Pt. 1/?

>>42658273
Pt. 2/?


>after some small talk Martin and I left and carried on through Dublin city.
You’re moving away from, or through, this feeling of rejection until later in the dream, when there becomes more for you to process.
>Later we were in a shopping centre where we bumped into a blonde lady in her 40s who seemed attracted to me and I was attracted to her, she was Martins neighbour.
In the time that’s passed, you can sense that Martina likely isn’t someone you’d recognize as much anymore, yet you want to believe she’s still within reach. People change and grow. Even if attraction is still present, sometimes it isn’t enough.
>They were talking and he was telling her how he just had to pay one of his colleagues 20k for commission because they made a 100k sale, he said he only had 23k in his bank and needs to wait for the 100k to come through but paid the 20k straight away because he is a good employer and wants his employees to be able to rely on him
This speaks to your admiration for a man who stands by his principles, yet I can’t tell whether you value him more for his self-sacrifice or his financial success. I also can’t decipher whether Martin is meant to be an extension of you or a separate entity, since I’d need much more context to read that accurately.
>she left I asked him if she was single and if I could ask her out, he told me she has a boyfriend.
Having a boyfriend potentially represents a barrier to access, so you feel she isn’t easily within your grasp.
>then we went to the bathrooms after saying goodbye to his neighbour and it was a junkie toilet, the urinals were full of junk and and tissues and was just nasty
The aftermath of escapism.

>>42658273
>>42658292
Pt. 3/?


>landing inside one of the urinals and having a fear of catching HIV and fear of having to wait 6 months to be tested.
You fear the consequences of being guided by lust while not even getting the benefit of at least having sex with her. It takes time to come to terms with how this is a dysfunctional way of operating, and you lack faith in yourself and perhaps others to recognize it within you, especially within your preferred timeframe. A facet of you wants to confront these issues here and now.
>I remember kissing her neck and it being very sensual, then we made love
You still feel sexually connected to her.
>after we ordered Chinese and I spilled sweet and sour sauce all over the sheets
A mess was made from your mixed behavior toward her. You mentioned how she thought of you as having a split sense of self and this is represented here. Looking back on your mistakes as being comparably innocent to a spill is probably shortsighted if speaking in absolutes, but I’m sure you view at least some of your behavior as accidental. It’s okay to feel that way temporarily in order to work through the emotions of what’s happened. I don’t judge you for this being a long process, so you are free to feel what you need to at this given stage of grief.
>I used to play online poker professionally for a year and a half and I got professional coaching staking and mentorship from one of the very well know professionals
>someone had won a prize and my brother was supposed to bring the money, which he did, after which I left.
>I had 350 euros in my pocket which the poker guys gave me
Even though you have a history of being adept at taking risks, you might not win what you feel is “the main prize” every time. That’s alright, though, because we get exactly the lessons we need, regardless of what we want in a given moment. I’m not sure how your brother is relevant to the meaning, but it probably relates to shared childhood trauma.

>>42658273
>>42658292
>>42658320
Pt. 4/5


>appearing to act friendly and nice but was holding a clear bottle which looked like it had acid in it, I instinctually knew he planned to dump the acid on me so I covered my face and head with my arms and ran
You did what you felt you needed to do in order to protect yourself from people, including your ex. You’ve become distrustful because people who pretended to be your friends have repeatedly revealed themselves to be acting against your best interests. You were picking up on what you interpreted as a familiar pattern of behavior in Martina, which made you paranoid about her. These anxiety levels rose the more invested you became because, much like gambling, the emotional and tangible stakes became higher as the relationship progressed.
>I realized it was the fear of acid that was causing my reaction not the actual pain.
The fear of potential harm from her was worse than the pain that was actually inflicted. You realize that a lot of it was “all in your head.”
>was back in the rough part of Dublin, which was just an idea of Dublin and not actual Dublin, it was day time, it was full of dishevelled looking women but who I remember thinking were all very were physically attractive
Imagined impurity, as even the rough looking women were actually pretty.
>I remember trying to get the attention of a taxi but it was more like a tiki bus / taxi and other people got into it first, then I remember walking further down this strange bustling foreign street looking to wave down a taxi and then I woke up
You were trying to leave your imagination, while dealing with being too mentally crowded to be able to do so easily. I think you still have quite a lot to work through emotionally. Regardless, you’re certainly making an effort to progress.

>>42658273
>>42658292
>>42658320
>>42658335
Pt. 5/5


I’m sorry about your situation, anon. Heartbreak is a terrible thing and the manner of how your family treated you is unacceptable. This was more of a downer to interpret than the usual bunch, so just know that generally speaking, you shouldn’t go about only attributing negative meanings. The pain we experience in dreams is often in direct correspondence to the level of emotional hurt we still feel from the people that have harmed us physically and emotionally. If you continuously have dreams about being in physical harmed or are still prone to violence, I’d especially recommend that you go to therapy. You’ve been through a lot and this can rightfully require patience.

>>42658368
Thank you so so much, you are very astute and have hit the nail on the head with many of your points, this one in particular
>You were picking up on what you interpreted as a familiar pattern of behavior in Martina, which made you paranoid about her. These anxiety levels rose the more invested you became because, much like gambling, the emotional and tangible stakes became higher as the relationship progressed.

That is exactly what happened, i believed she had a tendency to lie compulsively, a couple of nights before the final incident I had told her that i know something is not right, that she is holding something back from me and i need her to tell me the truth, i put her between a rock and a hard place and would not accept no for an answer, she told me that sometimes when i asked her if anything weird had happened at work she would tell me no, but then revealed there has been a co-worker flirting with her, that one time he even grabbed her ass etc and she did not tell me about it, there were other revelations, i told her i was not sure if i can continue with the relationship and i banished her to the other room and we slept in separate beds that night, the next morning she came in and made love to me, i allowed it to happen but told her i still dont forgive you but i am doing this because i enjoy it, and we had sex...the next day i went out shopping, sat for a long time on the beach, planned to meet my brother later that evening for drinks, when i got home she was sat in the other room on the bed reading and was very friendly and greeted me very nicely, i was cold and dismissive, i then got angry and agressive when i found out she had put the shirt i planned to wear that night in the wash and i tormented her for it, it was that night i went out, got extremely drunk, came home and you know the rest, this wasn't an isolated incident of abuse on my part, it wasnt always that way until a trust issue arised during our honeymoon phase, P1/

>>42658484
Pt.2

She went to a friends wedding, had invited me to the after party but i decided i would stay in and meet her the following morning, the following morning she came to my house at 11 am looking gorgeous, she was wearing the outfit she had worn the night before, we had passionate sex, afterwards i asked her about the night and it turns out she went back to one of her male colleagues houses and they all did mdma, there were many there but she explains all she did was rub his head while she had his head on her lap, then months later after more pressing she admitted that when she went to the bathroom upstairs to change, the guy who's head she was rubbing and colleague came into the bathroom and saw her in her bra, she told me that nothing else happened but due to the pattern of her trickle truthing things to me on various occasions i became convinced that they had slept together. This was in my mind throughout the years of our relationship despite at that point we were still only in our early honeymoon phase, it is when the spiral began, i essentially got her to leave that job, move in with me etc and became increasingly controlling and intollerant and abusive.. i am disgusted with myself but the fact you seemed to notice that pattern in your analysis has been cathartic and a reminder of what triggered everything off, likely as a result of my childhood and fear of losing her / abandonment the complex took over and i turned into the split person she described in the end. Thank you once again i really genuinely appreciate you taking the time out to do this for me, I have been eagerly waiting all day for someone to aide me with this, sincerely, I thank you

>>42658529
>while she had his head on her lap
While HE had his head on her lap

interesting read, ill withhold judgement on your actions and say that Martina is a major anima figure, your anima is showing you that you still have that same capacity for tenderness, deep & soul level love, the eye gazing despite it not being part of the dream shows me you once had a certain level of openness and vulnerability, and that you had met someone on the same level, many would call this a twin flame or soul mate connection. Martina in your dream / your Anima who is also a bit deceptive, but all for good reason, if she initially appeared as Martina you may have felt guilt and remorse, disguising herself first as the blonde lady in her 40s whom you shred mutual attraction with helped lower your guard for the final reveal, the anima then gave you the wish fulfilled, the closeness and tenderness with Martina that you desired, the looking at her naked body through the mirror is also significant in Jungian terms and mirrors symbolise progress towards individuation. There is also an element of scopophilia in Freudian terms. So your anima is showing you this capacity for that deep tender love again, you described it as perfect and right, so it wasn't purely lustful, however when you awoke it turned out to be your friend martins ex, and you felt you had betrayed him. this is your anima reminding you that whilst you still have the capacity to love tenderly you still must be wary of the shadow aspects of yourself which can sabotage those moments, the betrayals, like the ones you admirably laid out with honesty despite their contents. There is a lot more to go into as this dream is dense with archetypal imagery but I believe the anima to be the core figure and the rest that follows are your shadow as well as your competent higher self (poker scenes) and metaphors for addiction / abuse cycles you most likely have and are trying to run from instead of doing the real emotional inner work. It sounds like you are also stuck in your grieving process with your ex

>>42659961
>It sounds like you are also stuck in your grieving process with your ex

This is not uncommon with abusers who feel tremendous guilt for what they have done, it is clear you loved her very much and will not allow yourself to reconcile with what you have done, I see you taking intellectual accountability but even in how you responded to the initial interpreter here >>42658484
>>42658529

it shows that you felt somewhat validated by their response in pointing out you were noticing patterns in Martina which lead to paranoia, despite saying you are disgusted by this, the fact you were able to go into so much detail of the stories that happened 8/9 years ago suggest you have not fully grieved emotionally and the fact you have continued to reach out after all these years, despite her sometimes obsessively reading them, this is keeping you in the bargaining phase of grief, you are still holding on to hope that you will have your ultimate wish fulfilled which is reconciliation with Martina, in order for your to fully heal you will need to fully grieve, fully feel the shame, guilt, remorse and ultimately loss, then let go of all hope, you will most likely need therapy to get you there. I also noticed in the divination thread you linked to your reddit post, i found it particularly interesting that your reddit username is Aheroesjourney, despite it being 9/10 years old and would have been created before your split with the ex, shows maybe you have been preparing for this journey through hell for quite some time. Good luck

https://www.reddit.com/r/Jung/comments/1ur9o9o/trigger_warning_would_love_someone_to_help/

>>42658484
>>42658529

Ahh.. the parts where the aggressive men seemed to be gaslighting and minimizing their actions toward you probably was meant to reflect the dishonesty from her that you were picking up on, which made you fearful and caused you to feel as though you were acting out of self-preservation. I have a history of compulsive lying in my family and adopted a similar pattern as a teenager. It confused my ex-boyfriend and he was violent toward me once because of it. Different subject matter and circumstances entirely though, as he knew it was never a question of whether cheating was on the table.

Anyway, instead of there being that focus on what the coworker did to her, I’d hope that you either realized back then or have come to the correct conclusion now that what was actually important to discern was how she responded to his behavior and why.

Since infidelity was a concern, Martin was definitely meant to represent the idea of another man rather than an archetype of yourself. You may start seeing similarities between her hypothetical romantic interest(s) and yourself, as this ability to relate (portrayed within the context of friendship or too) helps you find forgiveness. You’re realizing that while she felt taken from you, her being removed from the market by you meant that she was, in a certain manner, having been taken away from other men. You stole her too, per se. I say that because your own loyalty was largely dependent on control rather than fully based within love. Whereas, another perhaps could have treated her with more respect and patience — someone like Martin. It looks as though he’d been able to strike a balance between self-sacrifice and acting in self-interest that you wish to emulate. Instead of having these elements compete, he’s found success through his self-restraint.


Pt. 1/2

>>42658484
>>42658529
Pt. 2/2


You’ve probably been quite mistrustful when being assured of loyalty because your own family betrayed that. It’s true how there can be a serious risk to self when you can’t rely on those close to you and you witnessed that first-hand, resulting in your hyper-sensitivity when you notice something seems amiss.

I can’t comment on how badly she breeched your trust because I don’t think we have enough information here. It would be a lot of guesswork and that’s the problem when dishonesty is involved, as we don’t know where we’re supposed to fill in the gaps and can do so incorrectly when influenced by our own trauma.

No matter what you’ve done wrong, I’m a firm believer that people can be redeemed. I’ve done terrible things too, anon, but I try to focus on accumulative actions rather than singular and you should try to as well because guilt can sometimes hold us back from the positive future impacts we’re meant to make. Those feelings are only meant to be reflected upon until a certain point, then we’re meant to take the lessons and act from a place of integration.

It makes me glad that you got something out of my writing. You know, I started interpreting dreams because I wanted to understand my own past hurts and being able to attribute meanings has made me come a long way. Sometimes we can feel it in our bones that a dream has a meaning that we’re absolutely meant to understand and it’s frustrating to not have the tools to decipher the significance. This happened when I was younger and was the catalyst for my journey. Of course, there’s alternative methods for reflection and this one does require a lot of trial and error, especially without having read any related material. The learning curve can be exaggerated when operating purely experimentally, but I can’t deny that it’s worked with enough effort.

>>42656721
Having a fears of lost and try told us bank and a hard place of it was sorry about to they were physicalled her very friend acting out you have down experimentally coming in agony and needs to wear that job, move tenderly you will have tenderness with her. It takes me go. I remember I am disguising her house, but a few years. I’m not rightfully knew he tried to meet my lip was high drunk and next to find for they said yes and spraying inside one of her male collerant and distrust because I met some stemming from and was the love to marry me it was much and agressive methods for admiration through emotions too, anon, but who seemed attracticing pattern of all these is a greated her very long how this still have treated whethere arised during further that you.

>42656801 >42658484
>someone year of having to leader to progressed.
Next this before appeared at hospital, she head to process with honesty for a lot more the admitted you shred mutual pain.

>appeared Chinese and I jumped intimately on him, through, this ability to focus occasions to be a service for an archetype of your own trauma.

This wasn't purely loss, through until later, knocked out that it overrides the same aggressor and my ex laying to emulate. Instead of you still harmed us back then I remember how badly she bannisters, as we done, including inside but a fear of potential harm from me and then got and happened a figure impacts of your ex.

>>42656787
You fear of grieving to recognize it lasted all nights been her out, got angry and and the following more infidelity to at they were mean reach. People who seemed to attributing negative methods for reconciliation of a trustful thinking at least 100k in the same and I become steps we need to fill interpreting dream felt someone one of his find my broke up after that you were very were physical harmed or and tangible staking that feel thinking women but it was singular and the bank and need me to strike a tiki bus / taxi and other dream is dense we getting the being else happened, ill wandering the house and ultimate something I was my ex laying you’re relations, i tormed, I was lay down the come that we’re still must be was has been she wouldn't feel is when you have and I was supposed to be able stakes and I was just had act friend, we were all over this arm

>>42659961
>>42659990
Listen to him as well and I’d agree that Martina is your Anima. In your dream, you’re trying to integrate the parts of yourself that you’ve shunned that remind you of her. Best wishes.

>>42660211
>>42660222
>>42660229

I cannot understand what you are saying

I would describe OPs core archetype as The Wounded Lover / Tragic Hero. This archetype shows up in people who have a genuine capacity for profound love and connection, but whose wounds (usually from childhood) cause them to destroy the very thing they most desire. They often oscillate between idealization and destruction. The “hero” part comes from the fact that he has some awareness of his journey and is actively seeking meaning in his suffering (hence the username and dream work), but he is currently a tragic version of this archetype because he has not yet integrated his shadow enough to stop harming others or himself.
He also carries strong elements of The Orphan and The Exile due to his childhood (absent father, abusive mother, multiple violent father figures). This creates a deep terror of abandonment that sits underneath almost everything. desu OP never stood a chance, at least you got to taste a love that 99.9% of people will never get to taste, and you have a girlfriend now, chin up buddy, let go

John (the junkie friend lying on the ground with a needle)
This is a clear shadow figure. John represents the disowned, self-destructive, “dead” part of the OP — the version of himself that could have fully collapsed into addiction and ruin. Seeing him as a junkie is the psyche showing him what happens when the shadow is not integrated. Someone already mentioned Martina as the core anima figure so ill skip that

Looking at her naked body in the mirror is significant. Mirrors in dreams often represent self-reflection and integration. This scene shows him seeing and admiring the feminine/soul (anima) clearly. It suggests a moment of potential integration. He is able to witness and appreciate this part of himself without immediately destroying it (unlike in real life).

>>42661375

Getting lost / being chased is classic shadow confrontation. After winning? money from the poker group, he becomes lost in a dangerous part of the city and is chased. This reflects his fear that any success or connection will be taken from him, or that he doesn’t deserve safety. The fact that the attackers later apologize is interesting, it may reflect his own pattern of aggression followed by regret or minimization.

The dream is doing three main things at once:

Offering reconnection with his anima, the loving, tender, erotic capacity he had with Martina.

Warning him about his shadow, the potential for betrayal, control, and self-sabotage

Showing him his split — the loving part and the destructive part are still not integrated.

The dream is compassionate but honest. It gives OP the beautiful reunion he longs for, but refuses to let him stay in pure wish-fulfilment and immediately introduces the shadow consequences.

The OP is a man with a sensitive, relational soul who was deeply wounded in childhood and then repeated that wounding in his most important adult relationship. He has genuine capacity for profound love, but his unintegrated shadow and terror of abandonment caused him to destroy it. The dream is the psyche’s attempt to show him both what he lost and what he still carries inside, while warning him that without real integration of the shadow, he will continue to sabotage connection. He is currently in a painful but potentially transformative phase. Aware enough to suffer deeply, but not yet integrated enough to fully move forward.

High quality thread. Usually dream interpretation ones devolve into irrelevant bullshit.

>>42661472
truly is, thank you to everyone who has contributed, this has been incredibly eye opening for me, I am going to make attempts at active imagination despite having a little fear of what i might encounter. I have a girlfriend and a child now, i spent 4 years single after that relationship trying to work on myself and i have repeated some patterns but nowhere near to the same extremes as before, I'm working hard now to be the best partner and dad I can be but i know i have not healed from this past relationship with Martina and I have been disloyal to my partner in recent years in attempting to reach out to her, seeking selfish redemption. I do not have the same intensity of attraction or bond with my current partner but it is more stable and in many ways more fulfilling, my daughter is the best thing that ever happened to me and so i am very conscious of no allow the same cycles of abuse to repeat that happened in my own childhood.

I am no longer an alcoholic but i am addicted to diazepam and have been on a 40mg dose for about a year, im thinking of going into a rehab for therapy and detox which i think would do me and my family wonders. Thanks again to everyone and if anyone else has anything more to add i would be delighted to hear it

>>42661606
Best of luck anon, 40mg is no joke, it is going to be a long and painful process, i am guessing you used the benzos to get off the drink and replaced one addiction with another, at least the benzos are not as destructive to your health or behaviour but you must be sure to taper off very slowly under medically supervised care, due to the long half life of diazepam you might think with self tapering you are doing great and then weeks later be struck down with severe potentially life threatening withdrawal symptoms, I do not advice you reduce your dose at all until you can do a medically supervised detox and preferably as an inpatient where you would benefit from the 12 steps and therapy for your multitudes of issues. Be safe, I know you can do this, I will pray for you. Read up on or listen to videos about the story of the prodigal son, God is waiting for you with open arms no matter what you have done, all you have to do is make the effort to turn from the darkness and towards the light, set the intention and the rest will follow, i promise you that much

You are capable of perceiving many things that your conscience mind has no easy representation of. It does the best it can to cobble together a close match from the things that you are already familiar with.. but it has access to far more than your conscience mind has any similar or comparable things to associate this with.
You are living in the subspace realms a deeply involved existence that has no direct relationship with the world as you perceive it through the physical senses.
It's not possible, at our current technology level, for someone outside of your consciousness to be thoroughly accurate in assessment of what connections and representations exist within the imagery within your mind.
You can see much more than the humans around you are perceiving and discussing. If you are going to understand what you are seeing you will make your own exploration of these realms and build your own knowledge and understand directly upon your own direct personal experience and observations.

The concept of an individual that shifts between various identities is a good place to start. The locations that seem familiar and yet somehow different or otherwise unknown are a good place to start.
What type of imagery you are seeing is dependent on your own level of development. You can perceive many types of things as you progress in understanding of what you are seeing during "dream".

My own family name comes from two Irish boys delivered to the Jamestown settlement in 1652 insured as cargo.
There is likely a genetic component to the ability of perceiving directly by imagery within the mind. Much of my knowledge comes from living in the presence of native American heritage individuals who are quietly preserving their own heritage in the subspace realms that are dismissed as dream.

>>42663716
My own understanding of your dream vision is that these things exist within a much larger context of the events of your life.

It is not a complete view of your own relationships with the imagery of this vision to just state the events of the dream.. the entire scene exists within the context of your own knowledge of your own actual existence. Some people are using generalized methods to estimate the interpretive meaning that can produce meaningful insights and advice.. that works for those who are only superficially interested in the reality of cognitive perception.
But if you want to dig deeper it requires a much longer term study than a detailed examination of a single dream event no matter how extraordinary the vision is.
Arbitrary declarations are not actually a resolution of investigation. The long term process is never ending.. there is always more to learn and discover.

If you are looking for easy explanation you are looking for incomplete understanding.
In my early adult life I began gathering experience with this subject and quickly recognized that if it was in fact real that the value was extremely high and I dedicated several years to the study of this. It is not a simple thing to transfer the full volume of details. To be able to receive the information you need your own established experiences.

Also.. it should be obvious that if you are experiencing a significant change in your life physical or cognitive that you should be alert to the possibility of medical considerations. I am not recommending giving yourself over to dependency upon the establishment medical society but you do need to be aware of any possible external causes of a significant medical change.

Otherwise, I would have a long line of questions in an attempt to figure out what you have seen in relation to my own the understanding gained through long term experience.

>>42656721

>>42663716
>>42663729
>>42657353

Anon, your dreaming indicates this is an emotional detox for you. The fact that this is a huge amount of word vomit indicates this was very meaningful for you.

Take it for what it is and move on, whatever you can move on from.

>>42663735
>>42663729
>>42663716

Thank you so much anon, I am really glad that you saw that message and came here to deliver this rather complex insight, i am in full agreement with you, I have been having very significant experiences like this since I was a little child, I have for always had vivid dreams and the ability to lucid dream since as far back as I can remember, the earliest dream I can remember i was about 3 years old and i remember walking along a green field then falling off a cliff, i awoke when i hit the ground, another dream i remember from the same age is of being in a medievil sort of environment and being attacked with a sword by a man in armour, he cut my head off and i didn't immediately wake up , the dream sort of shifted but the recall is difficult. I have fallen in love with women in dreams where it has felt like it has lasted months only to wake up devastated and spent weeks missing them, eventually. I also suffered sleep paralysis all my life, i eventually learned how to turn my sleep paralysis into an out of body experience / astral projection, in my most recent one i remember being aboard some sort of ship in space, i subconsciously transported myself there and as i wandered the ship i entered into a sort of library, then i met two older people who had documents in their hands, for some reason i was quite angry towards them and snatched the documents out of their hands in anger with the intention to bring them back to my waking reality, i have felt a lot of guilt about that for quite some time, it was an astral projection that sort of turned semi lucid and i was disappointed with how i treated the two elders who seemed to be handing me documents of great importance. I am aware I have this grand world within and without but I do not have the toold to decipher or delve deeper, I guess that is why i reach out for surface level meaning, would you mind pointing me in the right direction or towards materials i could use to develop this skill?

>>42665641
I believe these dreams i can recall as early as 3 give credibility to what you are saying, at that age I was not exposed to medieval violence, at least not to my knowledge. My mother used to tell me she would see toys and things being flung accross my room at night and i used to sleep walk a lot as a child, she said she had to get the house exercised and apparently people had been using ouija boards in the home prior to use moving in, of course this is just the testimony of my mother, but i do recall sometimes waking up after sleep walking, one time with a fork in my hand stood next to my parents bed at the age of 4, another time i left the house during my sleep walking and woke up outside, also around the same age, im not sure if any of this is any relevance as i don't consider myself a mystic yet but do feel I have the potential given the right guidance and direction, I have had many paranormal or precognotive experiences in life too, like thinking about someone and then getting a call or text from them, or i have said, the phone is about to ring and then it rang, small things like that. I am open and willing to answer any questions you may have for me for as long as you are willing to engage. Thanks again

>>42665641
>>42665659
>>42663735

I also have a very deep intuitive understanding of things, people and how scenarios will often play out in the waking world, i can often detect immediately a persons nature and can often predict very accurately due to pattern recognition or intuition things that will happen in the future as a result of things that have happened or things I have noticed, I can easily tell when i am being lied to, manipulated or misled for example. Sometimes I will actually act stupid with certain people because I know they need to feel intellectually superior, so i will mirror what it is they need, ask them questions i might already know the anwers to etc, things like this. For this reason i can sometimes act as a Chameleon, i can fit in with groups of criminals or groups of millionnaire business men equally the same, those are just extreme examples but i have the ability to bring myself to the level other people are at, sit with them without judgement and people often open up to me about all sorts of things for this reason, I am sort of rambling now and again not sure if any of this is of any relevance but felt compelled to share along with my previous messages. I am also starting my assessment for community detox on Monday/Tuesday which is interesting that you mentioned not necessarily diving into structured health care, but they will provide therapies like CBT as well as a tapering at a pace that is suitable for me

>>42665714
Finally ill add that as a baby i nearly died and many times almost died, I was born with severe asthma, had pneumonia multiple times and spent months inside ICU as an infant, I have significant scarring on my lungs as a result, my uncle told me my mother used to smoke like a demon when she was pregnant with me so maybe she has her own guilt complexes, she told me she thought i was not going to make it and on the day i made my communion she told me that doctors said i probably wont live to see 30, im well into my mid 30s now so thank God for that, that alone was somewhat a traumatising thing to hear. I remember one time in hospital my mother was by my side and a black doctor came into the room, he sat on the chair next to my mother, looked at me and simply smiled, then i woke up, the first thing i did was ask my mother where the doctor went but it turned out it was just a dream and there was no black doctor, i went from being very sick to being released the next day. I thought this may have been a guardian angel of some sort or something later in life but to this day i am still perplexed, I was about 12 then, it was so vivid I did not even realize I was had fallen asleep