Whenever a horrible thing or something extremely fucked up happens in my life, There is this odd feeling before it happens, The atmosphere is completely stripped and is just bleak, Not exactly bleak in that depressing or sad feeling, But just empty, More like warm emptiness, Not even the cold emptiness, But this static surreal warm emptiness, And when it happens, Everything goes numb and there I feel a monster, A monster that stares me in the eyes, I don't see it, But I feel its presence, It feels so real, Like when you're in a state of sleep paralysis and you see that monster, Exactly that feeling but now it's real only it's unseen and you see it, It only appears for 1 second or even less, But then it's all over, Before it appears, The weather is warm and everything is just lukewarm and ready to shatter and fuck up, It's like I've done bad decisions which finally lead to the game over place, The bad part of the maze which leads nowhere, And here I have to face it and lose and have to reemerge the atmosphere all over.I believe it has to do with the abyss, And how fear is not exactly a fear that stems from what we fear off, No, It's a fear of what we lived before we were born, The emptiness is exactly what we feel when we confront our worst shit, Because it's not fear, It's just blatant nothingness that we try to avoid to keep our lives normal.So it's the monster that follows me whenever I fuck up, It's fucking creepy
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>>42850002That sounds like heaven.When I get the feeling of an unknown presence, they usually try to portray the feeling of extreme abandonment rather than a warm emptiness. My most mind shattering course of this extreme abandonment happened during a hangover, and after that incident they appear consistently any time I get nauseous. The second stage of this abandonment became loss of all control and panic attacks from chronic nausea. I now have the eternal fear of getting stuck in a panic attack, and no amount of confronting the problem or meditation helps. I've tried it all.Maybe one day I can get warm emptiness.Wish me luck.
>>42852867>extreme abandonment rather than a warm emptiness. My most mind shattering course of this extreme abandonment happened during a hangover, and after that incident they appear consistently any time I get nauseous. The second stage of this abandonment became loss of all control and panic attacks from chronic nauseaThis is exactly the feeling i tried to talk about, The Warm emptiness is the exact extreme abandonement, But it is not felt yet, The warm emptiness is 1 hour before, 20 min in is the Extreme abandonment, And after the incident comes the punishment or the suffering, It's the worst possible suffering you could suffer, It's the Anxiety and the panic attacks and the nausea and the constant fear of something, I Know you get me well when you described what happens afterwards.I didn't explain it well, Warm Emptiness is not something comforting, It's like when your body is starting to be engulfed in warm water and getting stripped from the atmosphere, The afterwards your skin starts tearing apart and then comes the part where you have to live with no skin and the feeling of extreme pain until it regrows again
