Tell me about your experiences with depersonalization and derealization, /x/.
k felt like reality was happening with fast forward mode on, there was strange symmetry everywhere, I hugged my mother and it could not have been real, I was totally convinced that I had to have dreamed this. I asked my mother later and she said we really hugged each other. But in my mind, I was hugging an alien from outer space, the symmetry was present everywhere, and moving felt like getting dragged across the floor
It sucks, like really bad. I'm glad I got rid of it.
>>42863214it pretty much occurred naturally after the CIA was done with me.https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JavPI3Iw7LE&pp=0gcJCRMMAYcqIYzv&ra=m
>>42863237haheven tho satire actually based knowledge of topic
My meds fixed that.
>>42863214>Tell me about your experiences with depersonalization and derealization, /x/.thanks to stress and trauma i learned how to depersonalize which leads to derealization and enough of both leads to the realization that both reality and self is very fake and gay how you may ask?patterns and their recognition!once you take the back seat as purely an observeryou can start to see all the patterns the sympathetic symmetry of bullshit that make up the dynamics of lifefrom the psychological bullshit of the corporations and churchesto the psychological bullshit of each other and self golems making golems of golems peel enough memetic ecosystems of the same archetypes and their egregores ergodically feeding off each other and selvesand its all pretty obviousthe masons frame their chess board off this fake and gay dialectic play of archetypes that they uphold as "gods" makers of man and his reality via idol craftwash all that away and what you got left is god which is what makes all of this so fake and gay
>>42863214c:
Watched IPetGoat2 during my freshmen year of high school, and went down a bunch of rabbit holes. I already had a pretty traumatic upbringing but never dealt with it prior. Whatever reason that video was almost hypnotic. For around 3-4 years I had DPDR everyday. When it was at its worst I would deal with out of body experiences. I also noticed my depth perception was very different and things almost looked 2D. I felt like I was in a simulation or I died and was put in hell. Thankfully it went away and although it’s come back occasionally it’s nowhere near as bad as it was.
>>42863214I had it bad for about 2 years, following my early 20s psychedelic experimentation phase.It took a long time, but I eventually got grounded back to 'reality'It's kinda like a muscle now, I can sorta relax and reenter that state at will.
Used to be a bit upsetting but it has settled and i feel more fulfilled and at a better baseline state. Similar to other reply you see how fabricated ppls egos and personalities are so it is quite nice detatch from that
>>42863214I experienced derealization after some drug use.I gained a tolerance to xanax (i wasn't taking large amounts) then once when i took it, it didn't fully hit me. I smoked some weed and immediately got high as shit. It felt like different high than ever before. It's like i was conscious while having a barely working short term memory. The time dilation from the weed made it feel so strange. Like i was trying to remember something important or profound. I kept getting lost and forgetting what i was supposed to be doing and where i was going. One really strange thing was that everything felt wrong. Like the confusion almost manifested as hallucinations. Signs with arrows seemed like they were pointing in the opposite direction. When i was in a car and would turn, it felt like i was turning the opposite way. Like my brain thought i should feel the momentum on the other side. There was a general feeling that everything was reversed. Like the general feeling of the waves during a weed high. It was like they were going in the opposite direction. When the movie Tenet came out, it was like that movie matched the feeling i was tried to describe to people. The way the weed high washes over you and resets. it feels like a bunch of movie scenes with time dilation. The thought loops. The direction of the looping felt reversed. I wasn't literally going backwards in time, but it felt like the usual progression of a weed high felt backwards. I smoked the next day and the feeling came back. From when i smoked the first time and for about a week i had derealization. I felt very distant from my surroundings and that everything was flat and dreamlike. It honestly sucked and i didn't like it. It's like i couldn't fully be present in the moment. Luckily it went away after a week, but the whole thing was one the strangest things i've ever experienced. It wasn't until that movie came out that i had something i could show someone to make more sense of what that high felt like.
Have struggled with mine but it's like everything is just the dress rehearsal.
>>42863214Have had it since my teenage years. I pretty much just got used to it and quit worrying. In my head I think of it as playing in third person mode some of the time.
I don't believe in that.I am always fully self integrated, but that is me.Engaging in the world requires a distilled engagement, an appropriate kind, to receprocate to other and environment. Often out of consideration for self and others.
