File: pokey1.png (1.02 MB, 1221x826)

1.02 MB PNG

i started to notice and actively look for weirdness and patterns in the hololive and even larger vtubing industry, idk what i was looking for anything specific but i just kep noticing things, idk what they all say exactly but it is good to notice. i was energetic and learning multiple things not just vtubers, was working on myself. i got a gf with a blaze the cat pfp who used to rp as blaze the cat. i remembered the monkey magic show, and i started listening to the source material Journey to the west, who was a great inspiration and motivation.

i also have irl problems with family, my father who i sometimes stay with relapsed into schizoaffective and we had to do a bunch of things and i had to accompany him so he didnt get messed up.

everything and more took 2 or more years to happen, and i became attacked by low energy, hoplessess and general lack of desire or care, as well as various low emotions. i am thinking it is because of someone or thing i have angered, or something i have practised in my mind only backfiring due to great early energy (not tulpa or anything, i mean i researched and pondered various thoughts, this is what i mean by mind). oh also fnaf