After over a 4 months of gruelling trials and trying. Crux of the matter is, I was banished by a demon and I need help, but first some history of my attemptsI can achieve reliably OOBE separation. Problem is my experience is nothing but terrible yet I cannot give up no matter what. Just to show what I've amounted to the most. On my second attempt I ended up in the liminal hell where even if I didn't give the astral parasites fear they wanted to siphon out of me, I was feeling a little overwhelmed and desperate, I was trying my all to get into higher vibrancy realms where I was suddenly transported from a dark labyrinth with shadow demons to a shower area with warm coloured floral pattern, it was temporarily easing before I wanted to progress further but I couldn't and when I forced it, it turned into liminal space repeating itself where athmosphere changed into most malevolent one and I knew to skedaddle out of there and on command I returned to my body. On 1st and 3rd try by the way I was just sucked by in into my body because I wasn't sure I have separated... The forth time is the reason for this post despite my utter exhaustion at everything... Like the stories I read, I was banished by a demon. I also think of myself a wimp for falling for that, but I shouldn't give here a faggy self-loathing spiral that is a part of me... Nevertheless.. the monstrous forms and whatever else astral parasites take do not faze me, I will it that if they try anything they are going to get punched so to speak and I guess it works in the astral. Although yeah.. not the traditional method of denial or "swallowing" guides out there tell. I know violence one is probably already turning you away. But I didn't know this was a weakness that could be exploited... I don't live alone. I am in a flat apartment with my parents I depend on since I am young and world couldn't have gone more to shit.
After successfully separating and even seeing my body on the bed on the 4th try. I am put under the illusion of perfect reality still, cannot conjure anything or make anything astral. When I try to leave my room and the house continues as normal, I feel a malevolent presence from my parents room... I go into my room and I am overwhelmed with guilt and fear considering despite it being confirmed OOBE, a feeling as if I greatly inconvenienced my parents and made them mad was felt which do bothers me and I care about that since last thing I want is inconveniencing others and being a problem. But there was also a fear knowing that astral demon is taking a form of my parent and well.. I felt spiritually violated.. The fact something and especially so vile dares to make a mockery of my parents' form, I just didn't want to see it nor bare it's sight. So I tried frantically and desperately get into my own body but I could not, yet the presence with angry grumbling was approaching to my room. The moment door opened and I saw it.. the form of my mother.. although with the difference that it was as if foam was spilling from her mouth or rather, a white paint had such patterns as if foam was spilling out and grimace of absolute anger only when I was forced to see that sight.. I was then forcefully awakened from my body and I guess I was truly banished by an astral demon... That was two days ago... It definitely got to me.. precisely because despite even problems I may have with my actual parents in the mundane world, I still couldn't dare to actually even intent on harming them... And that abomination was making a mockery of my mother's face... I feel truly violated upon that. So ask for help and guidance from whoever wizard bothers to visit this thread please... I cannot give up on OOBE no matter what, even if my self-loathing spiral tells me you already make an assumption I am evilest piece of shit that was rightly cast out and I should suffer utmost hell.
The last part is my personal trauma and all that, all things considered sorry for being a fag who's a self-loathing attention whore or so I have the need to describe myself as because how intense that is... Trauma out of my life and all that from environmental causes. I also read how some sages in the archives were really pissy about this stuff and naturally I assume the worst of me simply of my anomalous existence that shouldn't be. ... Sorry I am just doing what is actually wrong per this site, being an annoying faggot and thus told to kill myself I should be... Nevertheless.. if you had any of these concerns, I have quite opposite but just as annoying purpose since after learning all the astral as I have mapped out my journey, I actually want to teach here whoever possible, as much as possible on astral projection and reality shifting since my goal will be in the end to reality shift and honestly allow any other higher consciousness to escape before this putrid collapsing loosh farm flattens all of us into demon soul-food paste... I truly get that on this alone I should be told to fuck off and kys probably...
overall, what would you say is the tl;dr?
>>42933089Astral demon taking the form of my mother got to me and I was banished from the astral plane. Other than clear "banish it yourself retard", I would have liken to hear any advice.
>>42931672That's a lot of words to say pretty much nothing at all.
>>42931672You can't reliably navigate the astral world safely unless you have 'grace', which is a sort of energetic protection God gives to you. The presence of demonic apparitions and forms shouldn't make you think you don't have it though, but I'd say you do need to form some type of relationship with compassion and love if you want to have a good time there. The demons you face are the sorts of things that every new projector has to face, its the things hidden, the things that are broken, that aren't healed or made whole. You can heal those demons by giving them the grace of God.If you want to have a good time there, you should learn to meditate on compassion and equanimity. Compassion is how you 'fix' broken etheric forms of light, and equanimity is how you keep your mind steady when faced with grotesque manifestations, and also how you keep your cool when enticing illusions try to lead you into traps.This world isn't 'peaceful', you know that, based on the news, but that lack of peace is also made manifest in the astral world. You can't really escape confrontation. I used to use an astral sword I manifested from an energy along my spinal cord, I just reach my hand behind my back, imagine I grab its hilt and then pull it forth and place it before me. Something about not being able to see what you are manifesting makes it easier to do.I wouldn't recommend weapons though, its not a long term solution. I would say if you have to fight use your hands and open palm style tai chi, you can sense the intent the enemy has to harm you, and neuralize it through compassion, or reflect it back on them so that they only harm themselves with the negative intent they have towards you, that is the best way to avoid karmic consequences for combat.Over time, you will channel more and more love into the astral world, acting a bit like a shaman druid or psychopomp in your area and region, basically fixing or healing the astral world in your area.
>>42931674>I am evilest piece of shit that was rightly cast out and I should suffer utmost hell.Basically the demon talking>all things considered sorry for being a fag who's a self-loathing attention whore You should forgive yourself, and give yourself compassion. God made you this way, for a purpose to help your soul. Its not something that is wrong with you.The spirit I talk to insists that I am trans, its daily, and I see her point. When I deny that about myself, I tend to be more violent and evil. When I just love myself as I am, I see a lot more good and light.The non traditional gender aspect of you may well be the reason you can astral project in the first place. You have a way to connect your sexual energy/life energy to the etheric body by expressing it through your imagination, and that gives you extra impetus and fuel for astral travel. Try to respect yourself and your life force, its very near and dear to your soul, which very much wants your love, care, attention, and compassion.I'd dare say angels have trouble with gender because in our more true form we embody the expression and experiences of all our incarnations, not just the current life and body we are born into. Sexuality is evolutionary, but when its in such a form that is non traditional, that is a clue that the evolution you are going through its between your physical and nonphysical existence, to extend more of your self into the ethereal, and to bring more of that into your physical self.Demons are really good at fucking with this part of you, the shame fear guilt complex of kundalini energy and its uses. The best advice I have is that you honor and love your life energy, its precious. Your self hatred probably comes from abusing yourself, and that comes from having been abused. When you perpetuate the abuse against yourself it leads to resentment and hatred in your body, which simply wants to be seen and loved by your soul.
>>42931687I should mention that demons can basically fuck your butt, activating your kundalini, and whisper thoughts into your head that you think are your own but are actually theirs, and then they puppet your astral body around doing shit they want to do at your expense and the whole time you think its you.I say this because I had that exact thing happen to me, all the way to it telling me that I hated myself and wanted to hurt myself. Next time you manage to astral project reach around behind your back and feel if anything is there behind you trying to control you.You really shouldn't hate yourself as much as you do, or be thinking about killing yourself as much as you do. That isn't something your true self or soul would be saying to you. The fact that you are gay and also having these thoughts does sort of lend me to think that the demon might be exploiting you like this. I can't say for sure that is what is happening, but you should be skeptical of any thought that you didn't consciously think yourself. Meditation can help you discern the sources of thoughts more easily.God didn't make your sexuality as something to hate, its a beautiful lovely thing that he gave your soul to enjoy and cherish.I've had an angel tell me that being gay is wonderful, its nothing you should be ashamed of due to religion. Religion was written in the bronze age when people killed babies for being born deformed, its not the final arbiter of right and wrong. When God made the earth and all the plants and animals and mankind, he saw it and said that it was good, that includes you, and the way he made you.Don't let the demons convince you otherwise. They only hate themselves because they are doing evil, if you were to turn them towards love and goodness, they wouldn't hate anymore, and would stop being demons, they would be redeemed souls that could go back to heaven.
>>42934562>>42934589>>42934737Thank you for your reply and rather kind attitude. Kinda what I wanted and which is the point of self loathing here since you got one thing incorrect. I'm not gay, but I am diagnosed Asperger autistic so that feels perhaps the same if not in some regards worse since I could genuinely live a normal life if not for the normals who instinctively hate me and make it a point I am not a kindly looked upon genetic deviation, even though it may very not be a disability and some classify as superpower, it sure is treated as a disability. "Being an annoying fag" was figurativev speech because it is rather me being so spergy that I am consciously aware seeking kind words here according to "savoir vivre" of the site must be met with opposite for no one wants to rumor a potentially suicidal person and it might even be a source of entertainment for many. But I genuinely just thought I deserve hate here because of perhaps hoping for kind words here. And I am well aware intrusive thoughts and such things as self-hatred ARE astral parasites but point is I was bullied so early in life it just feels like a part of me simply because I am different socially in those little ways that matter the most and the trauma is so fundamental to me, cutting it off would feel like cutting a part of myself off considering how many other more cherished parts of myself it also shaped because I am still here... One thing we diverge on is you're monotheistic if not christian which is something I am against.. perhaps I suffer that much because I am at war with the concepts of abrahamism at all and call it "cringe shit" but I gravitate towards polytheism of Roman syncretism kind of Indo-European deities and patrons. I have also personal history to boot of my breakaway from christianity based on supernatural that will never make me even consider ceeding ground on that genuine evil, however if you're more of Zoroastrian kind monotheist it's all fine and dandy.
>>42936595But this is getting into religious war stuff territory so I would like to stop here. Already distressing enough this can be... If anything I see more reasons to hate myself by analyzing and prompting (no, not the AI kind, the older meaning of the word which I can't be bothered to find the synonym for) this at all. I do however accept my higher self although begrudgingly because yes. I still cling to some retardations of sovereignity and pride and dignity aside all my self-loathing paradoxically. This thread has rather been however how to defeat astral demons who banished me that acctually spiritually violated me by taking appareance of my parents though.. the exact focus of the thread... I vomitted out walls of text because out of sheer happening of that I would just be assumed to be evil and I would be wished death for anyways here.
>>42934737>I should mention that demons can basically fuck your buttAstral threads are always bad but this one is special. Let’s just let this thread die here.
