this thread makes me feel really old.

OP, you are what's called 'a crazy person' (professional terminology).

bloody zoomers and their vanity.

>>42973031
The problem is as you reach for God, there are things trying to stop you. They are working as hard as they can to break you before you can make it away from them.
The changes God makes in you take time, and you have to chase them. It is a hard path. Remember God sees you chasing even when you don't see results for your effort. If you really want to follow him, he's going to change the desires of your heart. That's where the change will take place.

>>42973031
Most people feel like that some really go deep in that god stuff which is cope because god never answers.
You will never hear god talking to you or telling you what to do.
It's best to focus on the idea of A god that doesn't understand or the idea of god is the all and his voice is your voice or your mother ,friends, neighbors etc.
What you want is easy to achieve ,You say you want to feel all of those things it's easy really if you managed to feel so miserable it's quite simple just feel the opposite. Those bad thoughts and feelings are being caused by you you can't feel something you don't want if you learn to feel what you want then you won't need to pray anytime something goes wrong ,and believe me praying won't make you feel better

Stop being so damn dramatic lmao. Hit the gym fatso.

>>42973031
What do you want? Pussy? Friends? Money to go on trips? Life isn't so bad fren, you just gotta make your own destiny as best you can, then act accordingly. I'm 32, and sueing my large corporate employer for a slip and fall. Sure, it was a horrible ordeal, but after a year or two I may be a millionaire ready to live off of the interest, restore my hairline, and fuck exotic women across Asia and Europe. Provided I heal sufficiently, things won't be bad forever. Definitely not worth the pain, but whatever...

>>42973031
You’re possessed by demons. You need to do a cleansing ritual.

>>42973031
Go to mass, the gym, a book club, find a self-help group, pick up a hobby, but you need to do something different. Unfortunately, you won't be able to reason your way out of your negative thoughts. You will have to change your current situation to see if you can cultivate better thoughts.

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>>42973615
This. Do charity or any small gesture to help someone out. It's nice to want to feel loved but did OP recently do something to show someone love or appreciation? It will start there, then self-love. If you didn't get regular loving parents then you've got to earn love from others, it is what it is but it isn't that hard either, start small. Stop any negative self-talk and judgement, look outside of yourself for a bit and focus on what you can do instead of how you feel.

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>>42973031
Read picrel and stop with the saturnine nonsense.

>>42973031
Unironically PDF related. https://archive.org/details/cosmology-of-noetic-futurism

You guys here are like such fucking posers man in the occult to be against larping and schzio posting

There's no personal god coming to save you or some Magick way to get money and power

Life is hell sport get used to it

>>42974029
Life is basically fine, a little bit boring maybe. The LIFE IS HELL, EVERYTHING IS SUFFERING people are just fags.

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>>42973031
Everyone is an empty husk of a person, buddy. Personally, i think human beings were created by advanced civilisation from outer space by using some advanced biotechnology which we won’t ever know.But im not an atheist. I just think that God is space itself. So don’t feel ashamed or do, we don’t care.Everyone dies and gets forgotten.And don’t forget that not only you will be shameful about you ‘violent’ thoughs , but you can get harsh consequences as people will start to beat you up in return, nobody would give up so easily. It’s just if you want ot get more troubles than you already have. But what i want to say is that if you feel some kind of guilt by having such thoughts, than you are not as bad as you think you are

>>42973031
bro, you're just growing up. Around age of 25 your body stops developing and you start to biologically age, entering a downward slope in terms of hormones, metabolism, etc. It's very slow at first but it does start around that age. Combined with life experience/memories you're likely to stop being naive and less things seem new to you. You start to feel old at that age but it's mostly psychological. There's a reason why so many young celebrities died at 27 - the life lost color and taste for them, so they just fucking plunged into drugs or outright killed themselves.

Your problem is not mystical or paranormal by any notion. You're just extremely neurotic retard that had no good role models while growing up. Universe or whatever god will not come down from heavens and help just for you, you should simply apply yourself, like a grown ass man should.

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>>42973031
>I pray to God often asking him to save me
Why? If you never felt those things you miss, how can you miss them?
That's a difference between actual people who never felt happiness, love, appreciation etc and merely sad random wallowing in self-pity. The former tend to become psychopaths who think they're doing just fine.
>All I want is to feel the excitement, pleasure, and joy that I see other people experience in life
No power will care to grant you shit you're unwilling or unable to move your own ass to pursue.
>I want to feel cherished, respected, feared, desired, I want to feel like a Man with a place in the social order, someone remarkable.
Only one decent choice there: earn it. If not through predisposition, talent and innate superiority, then through such a metric fuckton of work that you can barrel into some place on experience alone.
>I'm probably already condemning myself to Hell for thinking about this, but I honestly feel like I'm there already
And I claim bullshit. I watched close ones slowly die, knew violent criminals and got hurt by real assholes too. Most of the people being able to afford complaints like yours on random messageboard just lack perspective of really shitty circumstances. Now, I am sure it still hurts you all the same, but at least it does mean that one real option is still left for it - singleminded pursuit of something more.
How many hours per day you learn how to and practice in real settings getting to know people? How many hours per day spent on hobbies or on occupation where you can be appreciated? How many of exericse, meditation, cooking or otherwise learning to create something of value with your own hands? Call me judgemental but somehow I suspect not many.

World won't change for you just cause you're unhappy with current things, both regular people and practitioners of most occult traditions know that. You have to build yourself up so the universe can work through you.

>>42973031
Keep at it usually from 30 on Shit changes

Before 30
Low wages even with completed studies, starter jobs, no bitches
After 30
Valuable work experience accrued, no longer a work horse my job is just being knowledgeable to support actual drone work the younger gens get saddled up with.
I am literally employed for my knowledge meaning hardly any pressure to be productive, me sharing knowledge is my productivity, bitches love gray patches in the hair, enough money to have an automatic monthly money transfer of €500 to my savings account, then often a manual other €500 cause I just have another 500 left over by the time next wages are paid
Mens life 16 to 30 is hardmode but after that the male powerscaling starts kicking and it kicks in hard and fast

>>42973031
If it's a curse, the secret to most curses is that (You) have to be the one to break it.
With Saturn 's lessons especially, he will not stop until you finally break on the wheel. I'm not saying this to make you give up faster, but simply as a matter of fact. He does it to show you that you can indeed hit the blackest pit of hell and still survive, however cruel it is.
Resolve yourself, you're being made into what you are for a reason. Personally, I'd make it my goal to accept the harshness so I can help shield others from it, in some way. You're not an outcast, you're a lone wolf, and one day you'll not only find your place of comfort but will understand why.

However you feel right now and whatever you see yourself as, as you are right now you are worthy of unconditional love. Everyone is on a journey and you will grow and change but just know it is ok to be you.

>>42973031
did an ugly bitch throw you down the stairs or push you out of a window as a kid?
because i found another spine bind victim on random youtube comment. need to find it. this post has spine bind victim vibes.

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>>42973031
The awnser is neuroplasticy! Was at the same position to you but I conditioned my brain to be self-relient on myself over the last three years and only really care about myself. I turned myself into a sociopathic narcissistic psychopath with no real goal, morals or ideals beyond my own ego or vanity.
I have never been so happy and mentally liberated before. It feels really good to not give a single fuck what other people think because you view them as ontologically inferior to yourself.

Haven't been this happy for a while ^_^

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Jesus Christ is The Lord God in the flesh. He came to Earth in human form, willingly died on the cross as a sinless sacrifice for all the sins of the whole world to save you from eternal hell, the punishment for your sins. He was buried, then rose again from the dead. He now offers complete and permanent spiritual cleansing and eternal life to anyone who trusts Him enough to ask Him for it, instead of trusting their own works to be saved. Trust that the work He did is sufficient to pay for you sins, and call upon Him as your Saviour, knowing that you are a sinner, and that without the blood atonement He made, you would go to hell. You might not know what to say, but if you understand that you need Jesus Christ, call upon Him. God will keep His word and save you. God will give you everything that you need to accept salvation as a free gift, as long as you really want it. God is a trinity (1 John 5:7), and no one can come unto God the Father, but by Jesus (John 14:6).

Rom. 10:9: “That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.”

Romans 10:13: “For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.”

The gift of salvation can't be earned, it's a gift: Eph. 2:8-9: “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast.”

Salvation is by grace through faith (Eph. 2:8-9, given by God, Romans 10:8, 17) only in the one, final, effectual sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ (Heb. 10:8-12) dying in your place (1 Cor. 15:3-4) as a substitutionary offering for sin (Rom. 5:1-10). His blood atonement made for you is finished (Rom. 3:23-25), so if you have received the Lord Jesus by faith (John 1:12) in your heart, you're forgiven of all your sins and are saved, once for all; finally and forever! (Rom. 8:38-39, Rom. 4:5)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_VRT2FFXntc

https://truthischrist.com/seven/

>>42976475
If religion is your pacifier then you were actually just retarded and needed a simple mental crutch to make it through life.

>>42974281
Vapid fucking putz. lmao 500 euro! Wowee!!! How powerful!

>>42973077
Yeah. Boy says he's got it so incredibly terrible by staying all day in his warm room, sleeping when he wants, eating when he wants, playing games, doing whatever for free and not even once does it occur to him that his problems are caused by his own choice not to do anything. Blaming God at this point is like crying you lost a match in a game because if there was a good God, you'd win. It's a hilarious behavior, "gimmie what I want or I'll be mad!". His parents likely gave in one time too many and this is what we get - a grown up man with an unchanged mindset from his teens.
OP, not God, not Saturn with help. Wanna a better "frame of mind"? Start with DOING. First, go to a doc, tell him how you feel. Truly. If you get meds then take them FOR YOUR OWN SAKE. Then, once you feel better, fix your sleeping schedule as to accommodate being able to DO THINGS during the day. Start slow, help your parents with whatever. Go back to school/Uni if you flunked (sounds likely). That will take some time to finish, plus you'll regain contact with reality, perhaps you'll even meet someone. When you're at this point, you will know what to do next. You will look back at your self-crafted mental hell that you once lived in and laugh. You are currently feeling all those negative emotions because it's your own unconscious telling you to get the fuck up and DO, instead of whatever you're doing right now with your time, seeking out advice on Saturnian cube worship on an anonymous Patagonian Bird Watching board.

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>>42973031
>All I want is to feel the excitement, pleasure, and joy that I see other people experience in life
Here is your problem, you are consumed by envy.
You obsess over the image which other people project, then you want to mimic them, thinking that you can adopt their frame of mind in the process as well.

Envy is a sin in the first place, because its a desire that leads to self destruction. You want to attain something that doesnt belong to you, something that you dont have the framework to process.

Focus on your own circumstances and not one what other people experience.

>Saturn shizobabble.
Go join Judaism or something, its not rocket science.

>>42973031
The one constant in life is that it is always changing, and so are you. The hardest part about change is consciously acknowledging the things within yourself that you like the least. Don't hold hard to them, you are becoming aware, so that you can change and be different. All your violence is probably something from your past lives, not something you are destined for in the future. Don't give up, keep fighting.

You gotta stop believing in the evil entity called "GOD" and start taking life in your hands. You can achieve whatever the fuck you want in this life, within the next 5 year, without facing any consequences. Even if you wanna become a mass murderer, the universe will allow it as long as you follow your ambition. Open your eyes, the truth is in front of you, manipulate nature, manipulate people, manipulate your own monkey brain which lacks discipline.
>All I want is to feel the excitement, pleasure, and joy that I see other people experience in life
And why shouldn't you? Why can X person have everything without working for anything, meanwhile people slave away their whole life while earning pennies?

You are on the right track. Figure out what you want, figure out the variables involved, figure out the nature of forces, and grab the opportunity by its through. God/Satan/Heaven/Hell who gives a shit about any of those? They can both go and die.

Here's a quote for you:

>Since the Heavens don't favor me, Master doesn't love me, and others don't think highly of me, I'll have to do it. I can only love myself more, I can only value myself more, I can only rely on myself more. I can only work harder, I can only take more risks, I can only work harder! Only in this way can I achieve something!

>>42977885
And remember, everybody in this thread so far has tried to demand something from you, they want you to either submit to a higher cause or they want you to become their companion in grief.

All I ask is this: OP should only things that benefits "OP" directly, he doesn't need anybody else to agree with him or disagree with him. He should be his own sovereign being, living every moment, experiencing the riches of life, on his own terms. Instead of joining some higher cause.

>>42975999
>>42977885
TRVKE

My life didn't get going til 34
If you have a controlling friend mom or gf leave them
Raise your vibrations pray do whatever you have to lose weight gain weight it won't really matter until you change
Gl

T. Listened to my own advice

Lift heavy thing
Put down heavy thing
Eat hunk of meat
Sit down and think
Sad voice goes away

>>42974253
>How many hours per day you learn how to and practice in real settings getting to know people? How many hours per day spent on hobbies or on occupation where you can be appreciated? How many of exericse, meditation, cooking or otherwise learning to create something of value with your own hands? Call me judgemental but somehow I suspect not many.
This.
Many people simply pass their days doomscrolling through tiktok/instagram and then being surprised they've got nothing going in their lives. You won't ever get recognition and care of other people if you never spend time meeting people and getting better at talking with them, for example. You won't get money if you won't do anything to earn it. You won't get joy if you do no activity that brings you lasting joy.

>>42975999
Sounds like a LARP
You admit having nothing driving you but ego and vanity yet you claim others are ontologically inferior. Either you are a poser who uses the term wrong or you're a dumbass who thinks the easiest, most common drives most go beyond are what gives you that superiority and that others reject them willingly for shit and giggles.
You're just delusional, is all. It's fine you're happy about it, but don't expect it to be anything but convenient delusion.

Been there done that, not yet out but in quite a better place.

1. Mushrooms. If you dont believe in woo stuff then just for the neuroplasticity.
2. Meditate on your heart. Imagine breathing golden light into your chest, and breathing out all of the darkness surrounding your heart. Its not for no reason that practically all ancients located the soul in the heart, not the head. If you dont feel much inside your chest this step is essential.
3. Start doing some sort of art you didnt do before. It rewires your brain.
4. Dont be afraid of hell/the darkness. The tree that reaches the heavens has its roots in hell.
5. (Optional) Read Law of One and Jung stuff, Shadow Work/Anima
6. (Optional) Aaron Daughty YT

>>42977982
No? He literally said he "choose" to treat others as ontologically inferior. Just like religious people "choose" to believe in fairy tales except they don't have the audacity or capability to acknowledge that to themselves or to others. Which makes them inferior.

Go ahead, stop browsing this site. Go to church or whatever makes you sleep better at night.

>>42978061
Also forgot, weed is rly good if used with the right intent. Lady Cannabis doesnt tolerate disrespect, at least not from weak men ;)
Also, this meditation brought up all suppressed/traumatic emotion in me and allowed me to process it. Not just about lovey dovey things: https://youtu.be/Lt7KHTXip-c?is=SJhFfwCa9qnswD6_

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>>42973031
You're living in hell grasping for a handout from an entity that will give you a greater hell that will make your current predicament something to yearn for.

What you're feeling is the culmination of your unrealized potential, one that is wholly in your hands, if you do a deal with such an entity that potential is in their hands to do their bidding.

Do you want to be nothing more than an inanimate object for a higher being or would you like to forge your soul into something your own way?

You say you're pathetic but you are simply noseblind to your untapped potential that a dark entity would simply feed off of to give you a taste of what they will steal from you & convince you that they bestowed upon you.

That's how the contract works. The trick is stealing your potential for their own ends & convincing you it's a good deal.

Your subconsciousness is warning you about how lopsided the deal is and is begging you to just realize your own potential on your own terms.

I get and always have got, zero still time, I play games once a month max and when I played them 16 hours a day for 10 years it was for the training of lower new angels.

Exponential efficiency on a global level in approx. 20 respects..

Ski pants, yeah that's the issue, your fucking lycra.. you silly ape.

They wipe my stuff from the system and my realm, because if they do not people start saying I am an enemy.

Cant have a 5 minute cock hard maximum threat level maniac teenager have an existence can we?

Send me to the lab for electro shock wipe.

Victorian age ankle watching fetishist rippers.

>>42973031
The meek shall inherit the Earth. Since I was little I’ve always known I will never amount to anything and will struggle but always “just make it” and that’s just fine. What can the devils world give you that faith in God cannot? What is it you lust after? I have good friends and a loving family and that’s enough for me. God provides just as he does for the animals and that is just fine. What you should be thankful for is the fact that you are targeted by evil because you are a good man and have an honest heart. Don’t let the devil in because there is nothing he can give you that is worth the price of fealty.

>>42973031
>I'm only 25 years old, but life feels basically over for me.
You have only lived a quarter of a century, how can life already be over?
>to help me transition to a better frame of mind
The problem is that you are looking outside to fill the hole that is within, only you can take full responsibility for yourself.
>All I want is to feel the excitement, pleasure, and joy that I see other people experience in life. I want to feel cherished, respected, feared, desired, I want to feel like a Man with a place in the social order, someone remarkable.
These desires are only about how you want to be seen by other people, it wouldn't be a meaningful life.
>The horrid blackness inside of me keeps pushing me to do horrible, violent things. It wants me to ruin my own life and everyone else's. I want to destroy.
The psyche isn't one unified whole, pick up a creative pursuit so you have an outlet that isn't self destructive

>>42973031
Can I see your natal chart?

>>42973031
God wants more than faith
Salvation comes from faith AND works
Read the New Testament and learn what Christ wants you to do

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>>42977982
A house divided against itself cannot stand. I realized the true enemy is internal. Why shouldn't I utterly convince myself of myself as to wield myself as a tool to accomplish anything I desire?
The delusion is a tool to eradicate any self-contradiction, and a useful one at that. You cannot count on anyone in this world but yourself, so I simply made sure I am my own biggest ally and supporter. And that's what this is about.

>>42973031
Please don't listen to any of the other anons saying you're wrong... you are God's child remember yourself. Yeah honestly it's called asking what you can do for God and not what God can do for you. MOST RICH PEOPLE SOLD THEIR SOULS. They are not even enjoying their fruits of life... humans have toiled endlessly to end up where you are. Say to yourself this. There is nothing more to desire than what I already have.

>>42974281
>Mens life 16 to 30 is hardmode but after that the male powerscaling starts kicking and it kicks in hard and fast
Male pattern baldness starts kicking in even harder, faster, better and stronger

>>42973366
Don't listen to these angry 30 year olds who commit all sins of greed and lust OP. DONT fall into the trap of enjoying life. God calls us to be CONTENT, NOT happy.

>>42978072
Weed/altered states are demonic friend
I keep fucking telling people, but they NEVER LISTEN, that there is literally NO shortcut to life. Whether you get yourself high, or masturbate, or lose yourself in a "concert experience," or travel, or fall in love - you will NEVER ESCAPE the cycle this way. These cycles of joy/suffering are what trap people in hell. This cycle of envy, greed, lust, possession - creates children in poverty conditions, brings bastards into the world and perpetuates sex trafficking and rape. No matter fucking what, everyone REFUSES to listen. Most child molesters, most murderers are under the influence. Most people who have sex and create children are under the influence. Then during the hangover, they abuse their children in deep shame and regret. The abuse never ever stops in the cycle of joy and shame.

>>42973366
Kek

>>42984272
Whats more demonic?
>Abrahamic desert saturn cults
>Living and enjoying a normal human experience