Having a spiritual crisis where everything in reality looks as if it is simply the same principles- dark or light, matter and chaos are all the same thing and everything is just flickerings of my own private illusion that I can’t escape and I am alone in. I pray to Christ for deliverance but is this really the true reality. I also feel drawn to Kabbalah and even anti-cosmic ideas because it all seems the same, icons from my own subconscious pretending to be reality; then the reality casino rings and confirms it. But I only truest Christ in the void. Undifferentiated substance pretending to “be.” I feel tempted by the counterfeit spirit to do risky things. Please help me.
>>43080412You're ok. Moving straight to the top.
Its not a private illusion as you are not immune to being a subject of such a perception. But also you are self medicating and in duress so you shouldn't particularly value your faculties ability for abstraction.
