What can you do to let go of your cluster of maladies such as ADHD, laziness, autism, rumination, "potential", etc.? Like, if your mind has high aptitude in problem solving abilities, learning capacity, and abstract thought, yet working memory task initiation, and impulse control are all poor, what is one to do to begin to unfuck themselves after living two or three decades of their lives a certain way? How do you catch up to the rest of society after having such an odd upbringing where you were raised by strange, mentally unwell, and moronic parents who managed children in an authoritarian manor while never engaging intellectually with them? It's crazy how long I've been unknowingly seeking father figures through the internet after being raised in such an abnormal living environment. I feel very mentally disheveled, neurotic, and stupid, and i'm beginning to realize just how often others see this in me. People like me need hope or else they believe they should kill themselves. Where do we begin and is this fixable?
>>43188721companionship to unpack that emotional and intellectual baggagesome basic literacy in things like negotiation and domain / frame hygiene in order to find and take accountability in the proper
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>>43188721Idfk man I'm trying to figure out myself. Was diagnosed last year and put on meds, which do help but not that much. I'm so fucking neurotic that I wake up most days with flight or fight mode already booted up. I have a desperate need to understand everything and attain knowledge, but I can't focus on one single thing, then feel deflated when I realize how little I'll always know, and how I am wasting time paralyzing myself while others, some much younger than me, are getting so much farther ahead. Meditation is supposed to help, but I can't seem to do it correctly because 'just let your mind flow' or whatever doesn't work for me. I'm also tired of hearing from the people around me how I'm intelligent and have 'potential', yet I am still a loser because no one wants to actually hire or train me since I come across as a freak no matter what I do. Makes me feel inhuman atp, like I'm a peculiar specimen that's interesting to speak to and observe, yet cannot be introduced to proper polite society because normies don't want me in their proper polite society jobs. >raised by strange, mentally unwell and moronic parents Dito. And it's difficult to explain to others because they didn't ever do anything that constitutes as abuse. I was never hit or diddled, but the environment I grew up in was just so bizarre at times, parents said and did weird shit due to their own mental problems while still acting authoritarian and having high standards for what I should be doing and becoming. And it's beyond mindfucking to think about how others perceive you, how you carry all this about you, that stink of abnormalcy that normoids can sniff out like bloodhounds because human brains were wired to identify and reject abnormal behavior, meaning you're already losing the game before you even had a chance to put your first card down. You don't know what I would give to trade places with a happy, well-adjusted 100IQ normgroid. I just want to be normal.
>>43188721You need to think about how you think, what you know, and how you know it. You are measuring yourself by external metrics that do not apply to your mental space. You have been traumatized by a lifetime of this bullshit and likely believe the entire narrative you've formed about yourself as hard, immutable fact and reality.You need to recognize constructs for what they are. As someone with ADHD you are primed to do this, because you have been gaslit into thinking you are "easily distracted" by literal brainlets who do not understand how to deal with a mind that is taking in information on a scale they can't comprehend. This is why you suck at all forms of hyper-quantified standard. They are specifically designed for the lowest common denominator, who can survive off a drip feed of dopamine from essentially pushing a button over and over.It has sucked. It will still be tough. But believe it or not you have a headstart on every chucklefuck that has ever dragged you down, and this is not bullshit. Einstein called it "combinatory play" because he knew he would get fucked in the ass if he told people he just imagined bullshit in his head all day until it made sense and then tried to prove it. If you can become construct aware, realize the fluidity of the narrative self, and understand you are holding the knife that cuts you you are going to find out just how much of "feeling stupid" is "acting stupid" and "believing you're stupid".Take the scoreboard down. The stadium doesn't burn with it. Who told you what self-esteem is? When did that arbitrary measurement become eternal law for the limitless space that is your mind?
>When the mental floating and moving about is obvious and acute, and when it is engaged in manipulations of the objective sphere — when the mind scatters vertically and laterally like a monkey in a tree — when this is so extreme that it is difficult to control or keep track of it — it is then that the practitioner should employ the gate of “counting,” thus training the mind to count the breaths. One should realize that, in such a situation, it is precisely this which qualifies as the genuinely counteractive technique. Hence the Buddha stated that, for those in whom primary ideation and mental discursion are abundant, one should teach them to count the breaths.>Second, when one is sitting in dhyāna meditation, there may be times when one’s mind is both dull and scattered. “Dullness” is marked by the non-recalling mind. “Dimness,” which may be an associated factor, is marked by drowsiness. “Scatteredness” is marked by the “floating,” “skipping-over,” and “running off” of one’s thoughts.>When these circumstances present themselves, the practitioner should employ the gate of “following,” skillfully training the mind to follow the breath as one clearly illuminates the entering and exiting of one’s respiration. The mind thus comes to abide in dependence upon the breath as an objective condition and it follows that there is no further division or scattering of the mental attention. As the mind “illuminates” the going out and coming in of the breath, this counters mind states involving non-recall, dullness, and drowsiness. As it abides in dependence upon the breath, one counters the mind’s primary ideation, mental discursion, and manipulation of the objective sphere.
>>43188721>>43188975Fuck man, perfectly describes my life. Still figuring this shit out myself pushing thirty. Wasted a good chunk of my 20s trying to make my Dad happy and get a corporate goy career. Worked a couple different jobs and its obvious I'm too much of a freak for that. Saved up a good amount of money and said fuck it this year, and now putting all my time into content creation like I always wanted. Its a slow grind and not making income from it yet, but I enjoy the process and no longer want to shoot myself. I kind of just accepted the fact that I'm a walking freak show people only keep around for entertainment. I try to see it as a blessing and a curse, our brains are like racecar engines and need to be on a racetrack, not stuck in traffic with normies.
Wow good thread, as a person with adhd i didnt read any of this
>>43188721I've found practicing occult studies have helped me focus my ADHD when framed as God giving me the potential to do literally anything and everything but I struggle to focus to do even one thing. From that lens if I realize that the potential isn't just "oh I might finish a task" and rather "I'm one step closer to the great work" then it's something I can motivate myself to do. Finish reading that book.Do the task. Frame your thoughts in the mindset that you have always had the ability to do these things and you've always been a success.
>>43188732>companionshipI'm looking for solutions, not fantasies fulfilled. I've never been in a relationship because no one wants me, and I've made my peace with that. Maybe they will after I get my shit together, but until that time comes I walk this road alone.
>>43189617
>>43188721These labels have you spellbound, Anon.Drop them, and practice self-control. Simply do what you intend. Do not "think about it" or allow emotion to rule you. Learn to remove yourself from what you are not. you aren't your feelings, thoughts or perceptions.You are the pilot. Simply do what you must, and let it be done. Stop short-circuiting yourself with useless feedback loops. Simply act. Take action, and be done with it. Exert your will. It's that simple.An oak tree and an acorn are the same genetically speaking, yet one is so much different from the other, because through long applications of effort, it has become so much more grand than where it began.
