I have dreamt about the same girl from high school two nights in a row. I have dreamt about her many times before, mostly after high school was over, and it has gotten very tiring. The vision of her body and her mannerisms are far clearer and more emotionally engaging than the image of any other individual or object that I have ever dreamt about. I guess the only exception would be some nightmares I had, but I haven't had one in a long time. She comes from a fairly rich family and she is best described as the former "golden pony" girl of our class and maybe of the entire institute. She was popular and constantly tried to socialize with others and include herself in discussions, but it looked more like networking than genuine attempts at creating human bonds. I don't think people disliked or even tolerated her as much as they actually enjoyed her presence, but I think most could feel the inauthenticity and her performative nature. I still have her contact. Last time I met her was two years ago when I decided to visit her with another friend from high school when we started university. When we met she talked about struggling to bring that sort of social dynamic that I mentioned before into her university's class and despite coming off as content some of the things she said were particularly saddening. In the last dream she appeared in, we were sitting next to each other at our school desk. She was clearly not feeling well, despite trying to hide it. I asked her if she was okay, and despite her attempts to shrug off the question I insisted and she finally admitted to wanting to unwind but being unable to do so without being perceived and judged.
>>43195069Another thing about this girl is that she was loved by losers. There was this friend group that two guys from my class, one of which is the guy I mentioned before, involved me in. It was a very diverse group when it comes to social success, although it was mostly composed of relatively poor people from the periphery of town, which is a reason as to why I didn't really feel like I belonged because I am from a richer background (not as rich as the girl). Every loser from this friend group was attracted to this girl as if she was a magnet despite all of them obviously being many leagues under her. This summer I met up with one of this losers and he still talked about her and the very one sided love story between him and these losers three years later. I was too self aware to engage in this sort of behavior. Nevertheless, I too became obsessed with her subconsciously, as my dreams have demonstrated multiple times. It's so fucking infuriating. Consciously I chose not to, but I ended up doing so anyways out of my own intrinsic nature like a retarded mongoloid. I feel mirrored when confronting myself with these guys and I hate it, but I can't deny it. I know the difference between falling in love with someone and being obsessed with someone, and when it comes to this girl it's definitely the latter. I am making a thread here to request help for this matter. How can I make her go away from my dreams? Should I confront her in person to do so? I just want to leave her behind.
