If aliens are abducting you and you're a man, they're taking your sperm samples for their breeding program (as detailed in The Threat). So a fool-proof way to tell if you're being abducted is doing non-fap for a month. If you're still horny every day of that month then you're not being abducted.
>>43213233Why would they want me? There is nothing to write home about with me, I don't think your metric is correct.