Rising Sun edition>Banzuke:http://sumodb.sumogames.de/Banzuke.aspxhttps://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoBanzuke/index/>Fight Schedule & Results:https://www.sumo.or.jp/EnHonbashoMain/torikumi/1/1/>Some sumo links and how to watch live:https://rentry.org/uwbgc88dPrevious thread >>256691
May as well just migrate to /sp/ at this point.
https://youtu.be/vNR-ZebJvd0?si=AqrOXbHq77dcxN-ANow this is proper slop. Nothing better than watching FutaBoys shoveling cheap conveyer belt sushi down their gullets and watch as they get stuck in their seats
>>257405I thought the JSA told beyas that their slop couldn't promote gluttonous eating?
>>257407It's all gluttony, cooking, hair dressing, foot stamping, and chest lending. They can't show the alcoholism and sexual assault on youtube without being demonetized.
Get your bingo cards here!>bingobaker.com#10182298I'm going to bed, so be kind and share this link on /sp/ when a lasting thread gets made.
Dan has a new mawashihttps://www.sponichi.co.jp/sports/news/2026/03/07/articles/20260307s00005000154000c.htmlIt's blackity-black https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZHwGnGrm_k
>>257410cringe post
>>257410Fresh black straight from the deck rather than one stained with ten years of taint sweat and shit stains
>>257410I wanna see someone go full Akebono with bright orange.
/sp/ thread>>>/sp/153765250>>>/sp/153765250>>>/sp/153765250
>>257413He got it from Jesse.
>>257413shimekomi colors should be limited to black for upper sanyaku and dark blue for everyone else. ura looks gay
>>257413Most recent orange I can think of was Kaisei
>>257405pre-basho food poisoning. nice strategy
>>257419>pre-basho...
Why doesn't NHK hire Chris?
>futagoyama fatfucks eat as much sushi as possible>only £435 in damagesvgh i could live like a king in nippōn....
>>257434I'm over here glancing at my gundam model kits that were bought when the yen to dollar was 100-1.
>>257431They did.
>>257441Oof.. that elbow overextention looked nasty.
Enho's stroke game is next level.
Dan ain't nuthin' but a bitch!(bitch!)Dan ain't nuthin' but a bitch!(bitch!)Dan ain't nuthin' but a bitch!(bitch!)
Its hilarious how there are zero Yoshinofuji fans crowing about his victory and its all just Dan haters who are happy about it. Yosh has had an amazing career so far and is on his way to his 12 consecutive KK following him maushita tsukedashi debut and he was college yokozuna before that, the guy is an Onosato level sumo monster, but nobody gives a shit, they only know him as that dude who can beat Dan. And his back and shoulders are wide enough to land a 747 on them
>>257523Its hilarious how you are straight up lying and making shit up But thats all danfags do it seemsLie and preen and preen and lie
>>257523seeing all that green on the natto graphic before those two clashed was unreal. neither of them have ever failed to earn promotion when the new banzuke comes out.
>>257523hate is an easier emotion than love
>>257590No it's not.
>>257635Ohnonono
https://www.youtube.com/@sumo-highlights
>>257800for me, it's don don sumo
>>257808Dong Dong is top tier stuff
Yasuhiro Omori, who got 2nd at the All-Japan and has Ms tsukedashi, signed with Endo's stable. https://www.nikkansports.com/battle/sumo/news/202603180001030.html
Hoshoryu....
>>257934absolute disgrace. first he gets smothered by aonishiki previous basho, and he loses this one to kirishima, who now has more yusho than him, and he isnt even yokozuna...
>>257934Hoshoryu: If Koga was a yokozuna
>>257935>>257941I can't wait until your autism latches onto something else to obsess over.
>>257955the mong zuna you simp for sucks ass
>>257957You just proved my point.
>>257955stfu retard, I am rooting for hosh since he joined sanyaku but I never wanted him to be promoted to yoko; this basho is another proof NSK made a mistake promoting him. Asashoryu isn't even caring anymore as well, tweeting about aonishiki instead.
>>257964It's ok to move on brother.
Niggatame forgot second bow. Disgraceful
at least he beat aonishiki for the 1st time..
The ups and downs seem pretty set in stone this time.>MakuuchiMidori and Fujiryogre outRyuden and Wakanosho in>JuryoKotokuzan, Fujitensei, Shimazuumi, and Tsurugisho outTochitaikai, Hakuyozan, Okaryu, and Enho inElder stock secured.
How is this allowed?
>>257973probably because of this precedent... i'm just baffled he picked daiseizan as flag carrier.https://www.47news.jp/9331846p2.html
>>257973they should do it more often, even in winter
I give this basho a 5/10.>Hoshoryu wasn't competitive>Onosato dead in a ditch somewhere>Dan failed miserably at fulfilling his destiny>Kotoshoho came close to a 2nd yushoThe only upsides are>Yusho went to someone worthy though the ending was lame as fuck>Zak double digits>Atamin SekiwakeBut all in all this basho was barely any better than watching Kotoshoho go 13-2Y.
>Hosh arm locks Dan in practice>Dan gets offended or whatever and refuses to practice more>Hosh beats Dan for the first time with an arm lock (into leg hook because Dan forces it) throwDan sisters...
>>257972They could still screw him over and put Takakento in
>>257972M6w Onokasu gonna stay in the division on a 1-14?
How long until they announce Teru's expulsion?
>>257982Probably. They tend to cushion people from rising or falling too fast these days. Gooneryama went 1-14 from M3 and landed at M13. What I wanna know is why the fuck people think Papa will stay at S1w. It makes more sense to give Waka a +0.5 boost than to give Papa a +1 boost. The only real awkwardness is going to come from that extra Ozeki slot messing up relative placement since everyone's getting a -0.5 rank shift from it.
In 3 days we will know if Enho made it.
>>257986I already confirmed it. He's in.
>>257980if results won't push him to juryou, his seniority should, over takakento.
>>257991They need to promote him so he can take over Iseghama after Terunofuji is expelled
>>257992Hakunofuji will leave with him and change his shikona to Enoho.
>>257992>>257993Enho rebuilding the ex-Miyagino stable lol, all the rikishi hakuho recruited would leave most probably with him.
>>257996>Hakuho comes back as unofficial assistant coachImagine Hakkaku's impotent tears of seethe.
props to asakouryu and asasuiryu bros for providing great entertainment despite their mom dying just before basho.
>>257998https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q4yJDlHMpTE
>>257998I didn't even know she was sick.
>>257976>Zak double digitsZak winning against Hosh was probably the highlight match of the entire Basho.Hosh will NEVER win a Yusho as Yokozuna.NEVER.And deep down, he knows it.
>>257976I'd agree with that, also ol Tom had a rough go at it, I hope he doesn't drop too far.
>0-15 without kyujo
>>258006My highlight is Fujinokawa not fucking dying in the ring against Onosato. God I wanted blood.
>>258007He'll probably be roundabout 13 east Hopefully he still has some juice in him. He looked bad early on, but he at least showed some spirit in some lf the losses later. He's still in range of dropping to juryo though, and I could see him hanging up his belt if he does because he hasn't dropped division in 15 years.
>>258036He's been my main guy since I started watching a few years back and he had some really impressive wins that time. Stuck with him through some ups and downs but this time was rough.I still hope he comes back and finally Yushos. When we first started watching, my bro picked Takakeisho and he ended up Yushoing that time around (and he moved on to maining Hoshoryu when Keisho retired and got another Yusho and a Yokozuna), and my friend picked Kirishima and he won the one after I think it was, now two. I'm still holding out hope for my guy to Yusho.
Spiffy's estimated banzuke is outhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iiw594pcCKoDan still way way up right near the top of if. H8ers stay seething
>>258038holy cope
>>258038>ozeki 1 westrumao
>>257967>Horse shits high light of the basho is beating 10% Aonishiki Honorable chairman hakkaku please kill this fraud
Let's be real, if Hosh had won this basho you'd still call him a fraud because there was no real competition or some bullshit.Glad he finally figured out Dan to.
>>258043so you're saying he's worse than a fraud?
>>258043No one has figured out Dan he’s just tired from putting up only double digits since his debut it would take years for these guys to catch up to his level of grappling
>>258038I'm glad you don't have to use your vpn on /xs/
>>258045>No one has figured out Dan>8 people just used strategy to prevent him from using his favored techniques because...he's just tired okay!
>>258045>constantly hard-slap him since the tachi-ai>winEVERY FUCKING TIMEThis is as bad as Onosato losing to the Nodowa, you dumbass. Either Dan overcomes and adapts to this or he's done for.
>>258045Bro even hosh instantly stood him up and didn't allow him to go low for the rest of the match.Dan needs to train on different shit, he doesn't have the retard strength Ono does, he can't just bowl people over.
>>258052Since when does Onosato bowl people over? Dude's been bitchmade since September.
>>258057He overpowered aonishiki easily in January though
>>258049b-but he's the main character of sumoonly he can adapt and improve
Please, I need my slop... I'm dying here...
>>258062We wont see the round dragon that much anymore now that he's gonna be a sekitori...
>4–3chiyobros we will be back in the top division within mere years
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVjglaWQo8whttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWvXtvxW0y4Finally
>>258069I got bad news for you anon
>Enho Ms1e>gets injured again
Does Hakkaku personally hate Hoshoryu or something? It's so weird to see a chairman heap tons of criticism on who's supposed to be the sport's crown jewel.
>>258083I don't know but it's not hard to see why. The man is actually doing ok on average but he just can't get a yusho. Hakkaku probably thinks the only way to change that is to push him through harsh words. And I actually do agree with some of the criticism, Hoshoryu needs to learn patience, sometime it feels like he just shows up and does whatever and it just happens to work, for the most part.
>>258083Hakkaku said >a Yokozuna who allows someone else to win the championship with 12 wins is unacceptableThe only 12 win yusho allowed by someone else during Hakkaku's time as yokozuna was the playoff loss against Chiyonofuji.
>>258087Beautiful throw, as if to impress little Ai :(
should i buy this rancid sundried shit-stained mawashi for $100?
>>258087>during Hakkaku's timeback when steroids flowed like fresh spring waters and match fixing was at it's peak
>>258087>12 win yushosIt’s actually strange how things have changed in that regard.From 1980 to 2020 there were only 21 12-win yushos.From 2020 on there have been 16 already.
>>258089Who was the previous owner?
>>258087Maybe don't promote guys to Yokozuna so early then.
>>258091Everyone's so fat now that their bodies break down too quickly.
>>258091I wonder whether it has something to do with how transparent most things are these days. If your underling does better than you in a basho you can't beat the shit out of him as easily anymore or something like that? Aren't there a lot of social rules where upstaging a superior is a huge taboo in japan?
>>258093>Maybe don't promote guys to Yokozuna so early thenI’d push back on that idea. There is no such thing as promoting someone too early. There’s only correctly promoted or incorrectly.Onosato won two in a row from ozeki and was correctly promoted.Takakeisho went 12-3 JY + 13-2 Y and was correctly not promoted.Hoshoryu went 13-2 JY + 12-3 Y and was INcorrectly promoted.Time has nothing to do with it, they simply fucked up.
I still firmly hold my belief that they intentionally promoted Hoshoryu just to get rid of him early so he won't get citizenship in time and become another mongol oyakata in NSK
>>258097I hold my belief that you're a fag.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYPXAzetl6w>Kirishitma didn't have time to get into his formal cloak, hence why he rode the car in his underpants>This is only the 3rd time someone has re-made Ozeki without using the 10 win Sekiwake rule>Hakkaku was re-elected as Chairman today and ranted about Hosh like a cranky old fuck
>>258091>The top dogs were so much better when match fixing was a thing :/
>>258083yep, just throw the responsibility onto someone else. Best bet onto your 'employee'.
>People STILL care what bitter has-been yoko failures have to say simply because they parrot hosh bad like they do
CHAIRMAN GET DOWN!!!
>>258103Chiyonofuji won that basho with a 15-0. Hakkaku’s point is that a healthy yokozuna should elevate the competition so that a 12-3 win a cup.If there’s a healthy yokozuna and someone else bags a 12-3 yusho, that is pretty mediocre, let’s be honest, since it means you either gave up some cheap gold stars or you completely pooped your mawashi against the sanyaku. Neither is really what you’d expect from a Yokozuna.
>>258103>Hakkaku6 yusho as 'zuna and 3 by that point.This bitter bald fuck can shittalk Horse whenever he wants.
One thing I will commend Hoshoryu on is that he managed to fix change his tachiai to more aggressive one.
>>258105Konishiki won it with a 14-1.
>>258106At this point Horshoryu is becoming the Takayasu of yokozuna. Four junyusho and no cups as yokozuna.
>>258108Am I missing something?
>>258110Oops I was looking at November. Blame Hakkaku for going 11-4 multiple times in a row.
Desu I wanna hear his opinions on Onokuni. Surely he must have nothing but praise for a guy competing at the same time as himself, right?>2 yusho>Plethora of junsRight?
>>258110>Kirishima 8-7Kirishimabros... timetraveling is not working...
>>258099>Chris (((Gould))) should meet me at my stable instead of talking shit on YouTube, Chairman Hakkaku told Nikkan Sports. Despite being a cranky old fuck, he could still snap the YouTuber in half like the twig he is, he added.
>>258083Everyone who is serious about sumo hates horse, even his own uncle
>>258115Asashoryu is the Donald Trump of sumo.
>>258115You are mentally unwell.
>>258116Donald Trump is the Donald Trump of sumo.
>>258118Please tell me that's Asanoyama's reflection.>Heh, I'm something of a pussy slayer myself
>>258119>maybe if I was in the Epstein files I’d still be ozeki…
>>258120He's gonna regain Ozeki through the power of a mawashi bought by his mother and her sewing circle.
>>258070The REAL winner of March, who cares about a bunch of random mongs.
>Never lost his ozeki rank once he earned it>Consistently put up double digit wins in most basho's he's been in>But he's bad because no basho zuna winsThe chairman and the horse schizo need to collide with a dohyo neck first, preferably at high speeds.
>>258123Who cares about a fat lump of a thai haffu?
>>258123Nabatame winning Sandanme was cool, but Bukhchuluun and Ochilsaikhan winning Makushita and Jonidan was way cooler if I'm being desu with you.
Roga is a contraction of Russian Koga
>>257402What an absolute letdown this dude was, just absolutely crashed and burned
>>258129Nigger no, if he wins the next two basho he'll still match Onosato's record breaking promotion.
>>258130>>258130Sorry dude but we won't be seeing a white yokozuna anytime soon, he is out, should have been fighting for his country instead to be more useful
>>258132>KiriSHITma
Kirishitma's daughter is ugly and his wife is fat
>>258134Which is which?
>>258134>wife is fatWow, so is he!
>>258134Kirishima nailed himself a slampig!
>>258123Niggatame will be back in juryo by July.
>>258134>>258138>tfw no finngolian braphog gf
>>258140
how can mongs tell if they have down syndrome or not?
>>258142When they say they like turtles more than horses.
>>258141lmao
>>258112>average onokuni 13-2 vs average hosh 13-2
>>258145More like this, desu.
>>258146Still not much of an improvement
>>258148Didn't give up a kinboshi at least.
Hakkaku be like:
>>258091That's not strange in the slightest, yaochou was simply rampant back then and it isn't now.
>>258070
>>258155>believing sumo is on the level in any way shape or formOof.
>>258124>But he's bad because no basho zuna winsOh, so you do understand.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kN2LjkLO8OYAonishiki injured his big-toe, that explains everything
>>258159
>>258159It begins. The long career of a promising young wrestler constantly being let down by injuries.
Buy an ad or kill yourself chr*sfaggot.
>>258157I don't think it's gone entirely, it was just much worse back then.
If rikishi were willing to scratch each others backs with win trading I don't think Zak would've beaten Hosh.
Is there a new rule that beyaslop rikishi must wear yukatas on camera?
>>258168They generally wear yakutas all the time anyway because they're supposed to.
>>258159Apparently no primary source on that one, but it does seem plausible. If that's all it is, he should be fine for the next basho. IMO, it would be worse if he just choked.
>>258168Yes. Personal appearance is part of the terms of their employment. The same reason they wear their hair in the old style. They’re obviously allowed to wear other clothes like if they’re going to the gym or something, but when they’re out in public, they’re expected to dress appropriately.Asashoryu would frequently get yelled at by the JSA because he preferred to wear a suit and his hair in a ponytail instead of the chonmage.
>>258169>>258172I just remember old Futa videos where they're just lounging around in casual wear then all the sudden they're wearing yukatas all the time.
>>258173Yeah. I’m sure the JSA “reminded” them.
>>258174What next? Futagoyama eating dinner on a real chair?!
>>258177and drinking from wine glass?
God imagine being a deshi at Hakkaku-beya. Do you think he chides Kitanowaka endlessly about him not being an 8 time yusho Yokozuna?
>>258179Seeing as he’s got other responsibilities, I’m guessing that the day-to-day operation and training are probably overseen by Takamisakari, Okinoumi, and Hokutoumi.
Tokokei the hairdresser in the Tatsunami stable is getting fatter
>>258180>Never present at the stable
>>258161Imagine if Aonishiki never quite captures lightning in a bottle again and becomes the only wrestler to ever win two yusho in a row but never become yokozuna.**Terunofuji did it but was promoted later. Tamanishiki, Futabayama, and Chiyonoyama, were all before the modern era (and later made it anyway.) Raiden is ancient history.
>>258179>4x as many coaches as sekitori>no lower rankers in makushita>3 kachikoshi out of 10 wrestlers in last basho, 2 4-3s and a 9-6lolerumao
>Two chicken breasts>Two egg noodle nests with onions sauce and enough olive oil to stop them stickingI'll never make it to Onosato's size with meals like this...
>>258185Thats why you gotta drink those calories anon
>>258187Can they be properly absorbed through the anus?
So I thought I knew this but this basho makes me question what I know: during a match I thought touching the hair was a no-no but I saw several matches where a wrestler won by pushing against the neck/back of head area. Is it you just can't pull the hair and everything else is fair game?
>>258194Touching their hair is perfectly fine, you just can't pull. When Hakuho called a monoii it was over a hair pull.
>>258194can't grab the top knot
>>258195>>258196This. An easy thing the judges look for is if the fingers close. Simply getting your fingers tangled in the hair is not enough to be a DQ.
>>258197Judges tend to watch feet so hair pulls slip through every now and then.
If Aonishiki won this basho on 12-3, would there have been people up his ass like Hoshoryu because he got promoted on a seemlingly weak result? Like imagine he went back to the 11-4 mines afterwards. I wonder what the narrative would've been like.
>>258201Back to back yusho is back to back yusho, it's like one of the few YDC rules that's actually written in stone instead of a vague benchmark.I think people are just going to need to readjust their expectations of what a yokozuna is back to the "ozeki with a fancy entrance" it used to be.
>>258201Hakkaku would've lubed up the strapon he uses because his tiny roid dick can't get hard anymore.
>>258203I know he would've been promoted no matter what if he won both, I just was pondering what the narrative would've been like afterwards. There probably would've been expectations for him to start doing better than 11 and 12. Like you said, people get very serious about what a zuna should be doing in a tournament.
>>258205> Like you said, people get very serious about what a zuna should be doing in a tournament.They should be. Calling someone a Yokozuna means you’re announcing that they are an all-time great WHILE they’re still active. No other sport does that. It’s a huge black eye when they get it wrong.
Instead of back-to-back yusho with a vague and nebulous "yusho-equivalent" standard, they should make it simple and award yokozuna title to an ozeki who has won his 3rd or higher yusho. There would only be slightly fewer yokozuna (44 vs. 52 since yushos were created) and it would be a sign of longer term success.
>>258206>It’s a huge black eye when they get it wrong.Kisenosato...
>>258207Yokozuna Kaio...Yokozuna Takakeisho...Yokozuna Chiyotaikai...
>>258183>anti-Danner schizos and their rich fantasy livesimagine being so butthurt that you unironically spend your time inventing fantasies about Dan having a bad career
God I hope it's those training bout with Hoshoryu where Dan dipped that broke his toe.
>>258209Tochiazuma too. I think it's telling that a lot of ozeki were able to get that many individual yusho, but weren't able to get over the "back to back" hump. It's telling of that era of competition, because them and Konishiki would've been the only additions in the entire six basho era, with four cuts.
>>258214>shows up for practice>breaks aonishiki's toe>beats him at the bashowinning is yokozuna sumo
>>258194You can touch the hair, but you can't grab it, unless you're Takerufuji.
>>258209>Yokozuna TakakeishoAnd that's why we don't do it that way.
Its official
Estimated May banzuke, post your reaction
>>258229Kotoshoho will not jump ahead of WTK, Fujiryoga will be out instead of Onokatsu
>>258229Fujiryoga is lucky.
>>258229Fujiryoga won't survive
Looks like Enho has officially made it back to the salaried ranks.https://hochi.news/articles/20260324-OHT1T51334.html?page=1
>>258234Okay so who got shafted to make this happen.
>>258235Enho
>>258229Why would fujiryoja survive at m17 with an MK
>>258238
>>258238It happens. Probably won't here because of Onokatsu, but it happens.
>>258230>>258238I'm pretty sure Shishi held on a losing record as the lowest man in the division last year.
>>258242Youre right, I messed up the query here >>258239It didn't happen from 1960 until 2005, then it happened multiple times in the past couple years. shishi and tokihayate went from m17 to m18 though, and this past banzuke had no m18, so not sure how affects it
>>258235No one, 4 guys dropping out, Tochitaikai Hakuyozan and Okaryu are definitely in, and Enho's 5-2 is like 11-4 compared to Takakento's 4-3 which is like 9-6, so mathmatically Enho is 1 rank above him so Enho goes to Juryo and Takakento just needs 1 more winning record.
>>258238Technically he's going from 41st to 42nd. Either way that guy's banzuke is whack because Kotoshoho is not getting Sekiwake. The guy hasn't had a KK in the joi in over five years of trying.
>>258247Tsurugisho went intai so Enho could become an oyakata.
>>258250Went 0-15 instead of going kyujo for the love of the game.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qI4bOn3uiANabatames yusho interview from FutaGOYama channel
Nothing on Terunofujis punishment?
>>258261Going to be discussed at the 26 March meeting.
Enho made it back to juryo. Let the isegahama miyagino drama begin.
>>258264Is it confirmed he has hit eyes set on Miyagino?
>>258257This is what Fujinokawa v Onosato was supposed to look like.
>>258266Nothing is ever confirmed, but it’s widely speculated that he wants to remain on as an elder. Hakuho would have been able to secure a share for him (the same way he did with Ishiura, thus keeping the valuable pipeline to Tottori Johoku open).Now that Hakuho is gone, though, and the former Asahifuji is sitting on the Miyagino share until he’s 70, getting a share will be harder. I don’t know how many potential shares there are available in the Isegahama ichimon.
>>258270Has Asahifuji said he isn't giving up Miyagino? That's a mega gay thing to do desu.
>>258260>KogaGOYamalmao when your kwab stable's most noteworthy wrestler is goddamned Koga and your sekitori's name is a contraction of "Russian Koga"
Last couple Chris videos have been epic, a lot of talk about KiriSHITma's loss to Dan
>>258270>>258271It seems like there is still a ton of back room wheeling and dealing when it comes to elder stock even though they say you’re not supposed to auction it off to the highest bidder anymore. I would imagine that if Enho was able to pay the blood price isegahama/miyagino would give it up. I think a big hang up for Enho will be the shadow of Hakuho and the jsa not wanting him to have a backdoor into the sumo world. The other problem is that you can only establish a new beya if you were a zuna or ozeki or have a bunch of bashos at maegashira. So the only option for Enho would be resurrecting miyagino but they may consider it to be a dissolved stable since Hakuho quit. I do think the isegahama drama with Teru will help him though because it doesn’t seem like they want to boot him from the jsa so the most logical solution would be reestablishing miyagino to get hakuoho and the other guys out of there and make it seem like they are doing something to solve the problem.
>>258277The dream situation would be Miyagino taking over Isegahama temporarily while Teru learns how to be a better stablemaster from him. God that would be the funniest shit. Give Enho any other kabu who gives a fuck, Musashimaru will probably be dead soon there you go.
If Enho started a GoFundMe to raise money to buy a kabu it would obliterate the goal.
>>258271Enho isn't about to retire now that he got back to salaryman status, its his time to start banking away them big bucks again. He has been solid enough in upper makushita that he should be able to handle juryo well enough to stay in the division barring injury. He can just make money until age forces Asahifuji to give up the kabu.>>258278Oldies can't be stable bosses
>>258288Does Enho even want the Miyagino kabu? Inheriting the legacy of Hakuho is a big deal, especially for a former Hakuho deshi. Asahifuji can do it because he was a Yokozuna, but Enho? Nah, he'd much rather have a less-known kabu.https://sumodb.sumogames.de/Kabu.aspxCtrl+F "196", receive list of cunts about to retire. Also they should make kabu of zuna shikona who broke 20 yusho. I guarantee you that the original owners of the kabu shikona would've bitch slapped Hakkaku for being a faggot.
>>258275Futagoyama could realistically have 4 sekitori before long since Nobehara could join Roga, Nabbers, and Mita. That would put him as well above average as an oyakata.
>>258290Kogatame will likely land in the makushita teens somewhere on the next banzuke and then his knees will self destruct against if he makes Juryo, he just isn't built for 15 straight days of competition, in fact he isn't built for straight anything. And he has no knees, not even one
>>258291He's built for bukkake, cold style.
>>258260My FUARKING hero.>>258291He's built for makuuchi, yokozuna even, and the run starts NOW.
The results of this last basho only strengthens and reinvigorates my admiration for and support of Dan. Anyone can be a Dan fan when he is rewriting the recordbook, but only the most devoted Dan admirers will stick with him in troubled times. Osaka reminds my of back in November when Dan fell to one off the yusho pace after his win over Onosato was stolen from him by the azn officialdom. The fair weather Danfans all gave up by the true faithful all still knew he'd be taking home the cup. Dan's rise to dai yokozuna legendary status is still as inevitable as the rising of the sun in the morning. Anti-danners will be tormented until 2040 or later at the hands of Dan, bank on it.
>>258295What do you call this kind of delusion?
Who will be sitting next to Russian Koga after the next banzuke drop, Kogatame or Kogabehara?
>>258296Dan beat the eventual yusho winner, that means Dan is still the best wrestler out there.
The greatest sumo wrestler in all of recorded history
the thread on spee is about to 404, someone make a post in it
>>258295his wins against Kirishima and Kotozakura were good, especially the former I recall he was getting his arms locked in and got a hold from the inside so it shows he's working on a solution.Even though the dream was busted early he still gave an exciting narrative trying to dodge the MK and the grudge bout between him and Hosh putting him in kadoban. Still gonna be someone I enjoy watching.
>>258301Being on every single major Japanese TV show over the past 4 months and having a hundred parties and parades thrown in his honor was way too much distraction from Dan's training routine. Maybe Dan needs to do a face heel turn so he won't be so popular and can focus more on working out, that move worked wonders for Hakuho
>>258296>What do you call this kind of delusion?A forced meme.
>>258289You are making a large amount of assumptions. The A kabu doesn't get somehow tainted or changed by who held it. Miyagino historically has been held by Low Maegashira and Juryo since 1989 up until Hakuho. EX Asahifuji being a yokozuna has no bearing on anything other than he was available to hold it after he passed Isegahama to Teru.Furthermore there was a system called Ishidai Toshiyori, which would allow for a Single use share under the name of an exceptional yokozuna, to be retired when they retire from coaching. Only Taiho, Kitanoumi, Takanohana, and Chiyonofuji were ever offered this. In 2021 it was expected from Hakuho to also receive this honor. The YDC then decided, "uh no we don't have this system", source https://www.asahi.com/articles/ASP4M5V91P4MUTQP00J.html>>258271Asahifuji has also publicly expressed his desire to pass the Miyagino Kabu back to one of Hakuho's disciples with the aim of reopening Miyagino Stable.But no, none of these things allow for drama fueled shitposting.The pure conjecture regularly posted in these threads is absolutely fucking newfags.
>>258296Hakkakian.
>>258300Let it die. Nobody wants to remember that b*sho.
>>258309Yeah bro, I hate watching sumo tooExcept when my guy wins
>>258310I don't mind Kirishima winning. I just hate it when a basho fucking sucks. A 12-3Y with no playoff is already suspect, but when it's locked in day 13 because the Yokozuna can't contend it and the winner shits the bed days 14 and 15 that's just some weak shit my dude.
>>258311>I just hate it when a basho fucking sucksSure a more exciting end to the basho would have been better, that's about all I can agree on.We got to watch some great fucking sumo and I enjoyed all 15 days. Great basho personally.Just love watching some sumo, results, storylines, and records are all nice things which will elevate in some cases.But I don't require those things to enjoy watching sumo.But nah, gotta say everything sucks and be unhappy instead.
>>258312Me (a nugget) in bed (hospice).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CWYkO2LeMYZak's father was a BITCH. Not only did Uncle crush the first match, but the torinaoshi was brutal.
>>258267Enho doesn't have the same heart.
>He grabbed me by the titty.I know... I'll selectively breed my sons to great a rikishi with EXTRA titties! He'll be unstoppable.
>>258310Absolutely epic >>>/sp/153994262
Last two years were the first time this century that Japs won the majority of the bashoes. Onosato needs to kick it into gear and dominate like everyone knows he can until the end of the year to keep that streak going. Can't depend on the Kotoshohos & Takerufujis of the world to help out, that dai yokozuna energy everyone know Onosato has needs to be turned on at full power every day. He can win six in a year if he applies himself to his game instead of derping around hazing the juniors with anal sake chugs
>>258311Sup Hakkaku, its good to see that the final boss of sumo is posting here with us on /xs/
>>258323Hakkaku is the original Horshityu poster
>>258322He's been ded for 2 basho and it feels like I'm forgetting him already.
>>258325Hakkaku invented horseposting??
>>258299>>258298*goes kadoban*
>>258260He calls Mita Sesame Oil kun that's adorable
>>258296How stupid do you have to be to take that post at face value?
Enho won't make a good oyakata, all he knows are ultra manlet techniques
>>258334Here have a nice webm to go along with your you.
>>258335torinaoshi: warioland
>>258335>>258338Sumo fact: water is lighter than fire.
>>258316Zak’s father was a stand up dude he could’ve killed uncs dumb ass they call these in favor of the guy that puts his hand down to prevent injury now
>>258348If you spent less time on the internet and more time training you'd have that second yusho by now, Zak.
>>258348Not against a zuna.There's an unwritten rule that a close call for the maegashira winner becomes a torinaoshi and what should be a torinaoshi a win for the zuna
>>258351That wasn't a close call, Uncle was nowhere near the ground nor was he touching it any time soon, while Koto was clearly down.
>>258304> In 2021 it was expected from Hakuho to also receive this honor. The YDC then decided, "uh no we don't have this system"Blame Takanohana for that.
Thank you Takanohana, ichidai toshiyori hakuho would have been awful.
Latest Chris video about Teru is extremely biased. It's always funny when the schizo tips his hand.
>>258356At least now he lets the viewer know when the conjecture starts. I am also glad he skipped the Hakuho comparison this time as the cases are really not comparable.
>>258356>Latest Chris video is extremely biasedYes, and?
>>258356>extremely biasedAs opposed to the usual? He usually kept himself in check, but since London he's been ramping up the propaganda machine (him being more audibly upset at things)
>>258351>reeee da zooooonas!!!!stfu schizo
>>258354>Blamecredit
>>258356>he literally makes up what happenedlmao
The first Pocari Sweat adverts featuring Dan are coming out now. They gave Dan a pile of money banking on him being yokozuna now and Dan spent it all on salo & potatoes and then went 7-8 is well on his way to becoming a Gagamaru tier fatass lower mægashira shitter. Imagine the Pocari Sweat boardroom meetings when Dan's collapse kills their brand.
>>258368Chris is epic, imagine how boring the interbasho doldrum would be without him
Teru needs to learn to do something about his hair, that disorganized rat's nest on top of his head looks like crap. Its disrespectful of him to go out looking like that, bad for sumo's reputation. He just rolled out of bed hung over and just got dressed and went out without even looking in the mirror, probably didn't brush his teeth either. And Iseghama boasts a top tier tokoyama too
Whats the skinny on this Lee Bill Christopher cat? Brief me
Hakunofuji assault incident 2026 colorized
>>258376Holy fvark
>>258376Its just like my NTR hentai
Iseghama's beyaslop channel has been turned off, they probably got told to stop publishing new slop due to the stable's impending name change when Kiriyama is crowned new master
>>258334> Enho won't make a good oyakata, all he knows are ultra manlet techniquesAt this level, every wrestler knows every technique and ways to defend against them. They’re not going to use them in the ring if that’s not their style.A good coach will be able to help a wrestler identify his strengths and weaknesses and build around that no matter if they’re 160cm 100kg or 200cm 200kg.
>>258382Sorry, I'm with the Chris schizo theories on this one. They will just slap him on the wrists+ salary cut, maybe split the Miyagino wrestlers from him.
>>258365I miss the old Chris when he did interesting vids and shit like autistic deep dives and the full 15, before he realised his name is (((Gould))) and he could monetise crying about Hakuho on his schizo gossip rag of a washed channel.>>258382Takarafuji taking over would be so kino.
>>258383>They’re not going to use them in the ring if that’s not their style.It's a competitive sport, anon. No one is going to lose on purpose because this or that kimarite is "not their style". Styles develop because they tend to give a particular rikishi the best chance at winning.>>258334 went too far in the other direction, though. All kabu-eligible sekitori know the basics well enough to bring anyone with actual talent to juryo at least. They are aware of techniques outside their style, but knowing a technique exists is not the same as knowing how to perform it or teach it to someone. A good oyakata would supplant his teachings with those of someone more specialized in whatever the rikishi's sumo style is.
>>258382Beyaslops channels are in very volatile position. One scandal and its all fucking over. Imagine if its revealed that someone in FutaGOYama is actually gluing wallets. All that work down the drain
>>258389>someone glued master's ass to his milk crate
>>258389They already survived the Nabatranny scandal. FutaGOYama is going to end up regretting not kicking Nabatranny out after that shameful episode, its inevitably going to get repeated at en even worse degree.
Anyone know a way to look up historical locations of stable buildings? I was dicking around looking around real estate listings and there's a place in Kashiwa for rent that was very obviously a former stable, but there's no indication from the listing or Street View which one it used to be.
>>258390>"Say, how come Futagoyama is floating a foot above his shinpan cushion?"
reminder that KiriSHITma is still officially just a kwab sekiwake bitch mongger until the banzuke comes out
New Onosato vid on the Oyakata channel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2BI5gMfOKc
>>258402If he died right now they would still put him on the banzuke as ozeki
>>258406no they wouldn't, but I like your idea of him dropping dead lol
>>258405If yamcha was this strong in dbz the saibaman wouldn’t have killed him.
>>258402Wrong
>>258409nta but if they do any regional tours or other appearances then he'll be announced as sekiwake until the next banzuke is released
>>258409Take a look at the most recent banzuke if you want to know KiriSHITma's current rank.
>>258414Can't wait for two banzuke from now when it says Aonishiki O2e, if he still has the rank at all.
>>258419>Dan triggers me and makes me chimp out like a bitchlmao, thanks for letting us know kwabster
>>2584207-8
>>258392Niggatame has really matured a lot. He is a lot more reserved on the slop channel. When he makes it to makuuchi I expect you to post your apology here on /xs/ so I can accept it for him.
>>258389>gluing walletsis this some euphemism or some weird sumo haze where they literally glue your wallet
>>258423Hokuseiho actually glued peoples' wallets shut before he got kicked out. It wasn't the sole reason for being kicked out, but it was part of the overall "being a fucking shitbrain" reason.
>>258424did he think it was a funny prank or something
>>258425To be fair it is kind of funny.
>>258425Isn't it? He also did the tried and true hairspray flamethrower gag.
>>258427what's the point of living with the boys if you can't do dumb shit like that
>>258407Total Mongol Domination of this poor anon's mind holy shit.
>>258422Takatoriki isn't posting an apology, he is a coward who only dares to talk shit on youtube and anonymously on /xs/.
>>258426>>258427Sure it is, I was more of wondering if it was a prank or if he was some psychopath doing some weird punishment to other people
>>258432Yes.
I miss Hokuseiho
>>258436I don't.
>>258436the first rikishi to get to makuuchi by not doing anything
>>258432Hukoseiho could've earned a decent amount of money for 10+ years as a perennial M10 by literally doing nothing but standing tall and not getting moved by manlets.Instead he wasted his career by the type of bullying a 14y old would consider hilarious.What's he's doing now instead? Not even any other sports, what a complete waste. Imagine being able to receive tens of thousands of dollars just by being tall and throwing it away for petty behavior.
>>258430No apology necessary, babutame really did send dick pics to a tranny. That's a weird and gay thing to do and it's normal to laugh at it lol
>>258447what does that have to do with fat slapping
>>258448Idk, but it's funny and true so there's no need to apologize for it. Not like he got into any trouble anyway
>>258447Rude. His mother is thai so he's half tranny.
AsaSHOUYU seemed to think Aonishiki is injured, is he?
>>258454he was clearly limping the last few days
>>258455Oh I missed the stuff about the toe, that sounds bad.
>>258456See >>258160
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXcfY0uX4ogPlime Time!
>>258403Are the hosts real oyakatas? Asking for a friend
>>258461yes you can look them up on the kabu list
>>258461Yes?though the bald guy is Kitataiki and just a coach currently
>>258403Kisenosato doing his impression of me watching this video.
>>258464All coaches are oyakata, but not all oyakata are stablemasters.
>>258295Dan status: found out
What does the "Kise" in Kisenosato mean?
>>258473Kise x sis
>>258473"Rare strength". It was something his master Naruto (former Takanosato) had on a scroll given to him by a Zen Buddhist priest when he became Yokozuna.
>>258476I see that Buddhist passed on the lesson of disattachment because Kisenosato sure as hell wasn't attached to yushos.
>>258457I'm not a danfag though, I just hadn't heard.
>>258295Just hard-slap him, lmao.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gh3ENrUEMUUReminder that Harumafuji was too based for the JSA to handle.
>>258496Whats up with mongs and their atrocious acne problems. His face looks like it was blasted with birdshot about 50 times and Horseryu's legs are even uglier
>Harumafuji would've won more if he hadn't been exiled!!!>Hoshoryu would've won more if he...SHUT UP!!!!
>>258497almost all asians have to deal with the acne dice roll.
>>258512>Oishii dounatsu.
>>258497the dairy doesn't sit well with them
>>258512F1 dropped the ball. It was the perfect opportunity to have Zak hold a Michelin tire. Dude's built like the Michelin Man for fuck sakes.
>>258517Pirelli has been the sole tire supplier for F1 since before Kotokamatani was in maezumo.
>>258512>Kotozakura buying his third pair of titsYokozuna run incoming...
>>258512they should have made him sit in the car
>>258520They should've showcased the power of sumo by having a few Sadogatake guys pick his car up. Google says the cars are a minimum 798kg. Their four sekitori should be able to deadlift that together.
>four sekitori
>>258523just checked, why did their only makushita joi guy intai this basho?
>>258526No idea. He sat out January, so he wasn't actually in the joi anymore. Would've been in Sandanme in May.
>>258523Oops thought Kotokuzan was Sadogatake.
>>258528Ah. Kouto=/=Koto
>>258526Rumors said he wasn't fit for the to sumo lifestyle
>>258530>mongAh I see, he did a Hokuseiho
Sumo broadcasting legend Kunihiro Sugiyama says KiriSHITma shouldn't have been promoted to ozeki because his 12-3 result didn't merit it regardless it having been a yushohttps://dot.asahi.com/articles/-/279221Amongst other things he criticizes KiriSHITma for being unable to beat Dan even though everyone else has already figured him out
>>258403The Onosaato vs Zak practice matches in the first part of that video are some excellent entertainment, I didn't bother with the "watch fatties guzzle japslop" portion because I'm not a retarded faggot
>>258534>I'm not a retarded faggotDoubt it
>>258534Keep watching and you'll see Kisenosato crack a smile.
>>258533You really are a disingenuous piece of shit and I'm so fucking glad you keep your biases on your sleeve contained to a niche group of people who are aware of your bullshit.
>Sumo chiefsWe want more kids to get into sumo>Also sumo chiefsWe're going to criticise you endlessly if you get into sumo
>>258529They really should start using ō and ū, or just write it Oonosato and Hourseshouryuu, etc.>>258534>I didn't bother with the "watch fatties guzzle japslop"you're a retarded faggot
>>258542"oo" and おお sound completely different in their respective languages.
>>258543Irrelevant.
>>258543There are languages where they're the same.
>>258546And yet you're using English. Curious!
>>258512That's a pretty small tire for a man of that size
>>258550I wouldn't want to pick up those tires, but I could
>>258552I should hope so. The weigh less than 50 lbs.
>>258550
Feels kinda bad seeing Dan III go MK two bashoes in a row
the spee thread is still kickin, lets see how long we can make it last
>>258557just let it die, lets forget about that 'sho
threadly reminder that onosato hates anime and you should too
>>258556Eww, why does it look like that
>>258559LOL
>>258541If you can't handle criticism, you're not going to make it as a professional athlete anywhere.
>>258559That's where you're wrong kiddo.
>>258568Hajime no ippo is pure kino.
>>258568Ura bros stay winning, the yokozuna of good taste.
>>258568
>>258573
>>258568>Hosh>Harry Potter and Bleach>BLEACHWhat dogshit taste. I hate him more now.>Atamifuji>Eyeshield 21Fuckin BASED. I love him more now.>Kinbozan>Fast & Furious series>Shishi>MarvelThis...this actually makes sense given their fighting styles.
Anybody here went to one of the stops during a sumo tour? You think it's worth trying to get tickets? I'm going to Japan in a few months
>>258568>WMH>Full Metal Alchemistuhhhh based department???
>>258568I said it before. Half of these giants watch K-On and Hidamari Sketch and don't want to lose hinkaku by admiting it.
>>258586Nabatranny probably watches that gay shit
>>258586Nothing would make them gain as much hinkaku as that.Meanwhile someone's admitting he's into Harry Potter and Bleach roru.>>258604>Nabachad probably watches that good shitHe just gained a massive amount of hinkaku if that's the case.
Heh, my sumo profile?>Favourite animeStarless and Bible Black>Favourite musicStarless and Bible Black
You're straight up retarded if you don't pick Zak for your fantasy team in May.
>>258611this thread is full of idiots who unironically believe that horse is a legit yokozuna, so retarded is pretty much par for the course
>>258430>>258431How does one fall so far and resort to posting dick pics of trannytame to remain relevant.
HorseryuWhy u do this?
enterDan goes first because he is the best
Atamifuji is cuter
Shishi will wait no longer
crab
new thread >>258641>>258641>>258641>>258641>>258641>>258641
>>258625Unc so washed, jealous of Futagoyama and desperate for views he has to punch down, make shit up and gossip like a woman to get any views, baka my head.
>>258637>Dan goes first because he is the bestThere's clearly someone walking in front of him.
>>258646>make shit upNo, nabatame really did send a picture of his dick to a tranny kek
>>258623He has a Yokozuna license. That makes him a "legit" Yokozuna.
>>258651and then he sent that pic to oho's dad for some reason?
