please tell me im not the only one who swears his name has always been Mike Valley
>>90229
I
don't
know
skaterbro,
think
it's
that
Mandela
effect
people
always
talk
about
these
days.
Did
you
the
current
longcat
site
record
is
forty
six
posts
by
/wsg/.
Hopefully
this
can
be
broken
just
to
bring
some
notoriety
on
board.
Thanks
for
letting
me
break
in
your
thread,
OP.
Goodbye.
You will never have a real catget. You have no IPs, you have no troll posters, you have no bumps. You are a coping failcat twisted by sage and samefaggotry into a crude mockery of 40cat's perfection.All the “validation” you feel is unbased and half-hearted. In front of your face people mock you. Your fellow longposters are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “competitors” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind many boards.Anon are utterly repulsed by you. 18 years of shitpost evolution have allowed anons to sniff out fraudgets with incredible efficiency. Even jannies who push the “pass” look uncaring and unexcited at your cat. Your post structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk anon to believe in you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your dishonest, illgotten cope/y/cat.You will never be legit. You wrench out a fake smugness every single thread and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under your unbearable weight.Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Archive browsers will find you, relieved that they no longer have to deal with the unbearable cringe and faggotry. They’ll bury cop/y/cat with a footnote marked with your asterisk, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a failcat is buried there. Your posts will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably fail.This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.
>>90591cope faggot
>just a samefag💢
>1 ip>6 hour old thread>lolcow still won't go to sleepCurrent legit record is pic related.
you shall now be known as /xs/tream cope/y/c/r/ap
tr/a/nimebros...
>>90594Bro, you slashed your cat with a link.
>>90589Congrats
>>90602big cope
>>90674sm/a/ll cat
>>90229I always found it funny that people thought he was a badass for punking three college nerds. Then he started playing regional hockey and got his ass beat ever time he tried to start a fight.
>>90589:FeelsGoodMan:
>>90589Impressive
>>90589Based Anon working the weebs.>>90591>>90593>>90594>>90596>>90674/xs/tremely cringe post
>>90229I always thought it was Mike Vallaly.
>>90229In 2005, I fucked Mike V on the train tracks behind a Ross Dress for Less. Man, his ass could grip. Real tight, not a hair on it, and a sphincter you could only dream of. I had fun at first. But he was so weirdly macho about it. He kept saying things like "thats right bitch, am I gonna make you nut?" and "fucking fag I bet you can't wait to bust in my fat hairy man ass hahaha faggot". I just ignored him and kept railing. He continued unironically calling me his bitch and a fag as he had several hands free prostate orgasms spilling seminal fluids onto the train tracks, getting more angry and dominant after each one. "Yea i bet you like dudes. You look like a pussy" he'd say "I cant even feel your limpdick bitch." I just kept clapping, wondering wtf is up with him. After about 20 minutes of railing Mike's boypussy, drenched in sweat and his cream, I finally got a nut off despite his constant berating and degrading comments. He immediately hopped off, laid flat on his back and bent his legs over his head so the cum dripped out of his asshole directly into his mouth. "The fuck you looking at? You like this gay boy?" He kept saying. After he got every last drop. He cackled like a rooster and punched me in the face as hard as he could. He nearly broke his hand, but I was fine. "Fucking fag" he said as he limped off into the sunset, shaking his wrist. That was the first and last time I fucked Mike V on the train tracks behind the Ross Dress for Less
>>95669Yeah, cool story, bro.
nope vallely.
>>95669>Man, his ass could grip. Real tight, not a hair on it,>I bet you can't wait to bust in my fat hairy man ass hahaha faggot"fucking liar cant even keep your story straight for more than 3 sentences.
>>90229Cool nickname, thoMike "Valley" Vallely
>>96560yep vallely
>>103162Vallelunga
>>100995It's nice and simple.
>>103162maybe vallely
>>90589Was this really over 46?
>>117952Count it.
As a kid I thought this nigga shaved his head because he was going bald but no he was just trying to be a fucking tough guy, Phil should have beat the fuck out him when he was on Viva La Bam
>>118127>>118128woooaahahah
Mike V is a big time faggot. I'm sure i shared this before but in the early 2000s i was skating Hollywood High with some friends- we were at some smaller stair sets in the back not where the huge stair set where everyone films is.I've ran into a lot of ams/ pros in those days and they've always been cool, the ones who weren't like Greco or a few others kinda just kept to themselves- but usually someone else in their crew would be cool with us so it was fine.But i digest...So we're skating and we see him and one of my friends was like "oh shit its Mike V" and like a little bitch - in a very whiney voice he goes "Yes its me Mike V, everyone just stop what you're doing and interrupt what I'm doing because I'm Mike fucking V. NO you can;'t have my board, NO you can't have my autograph, I'm just here to skate. GOT THAT?"We kinda just gave him an "alright bro" and kept it moving- but because of that incident i couldn't fucking stand his ass
>>123606you could have atleast tried to make that believable.
>this thread is still uplmao
>>123679what part of that story isnt believable?
>>123606no u
>>90589>longest catput me in the screen cat
>>118506Being bald is soi as fuck nowadays.
Happy holidays
>>123707>>this thread is still upikr
>>123707For now.
Cringe thread is cringe
Based thread is based
Guys get ready for the thread's 1 year anniversary party in a month.
almost time
>>139498How come it didn't get past page 10?
>>139520This thread is too special
>>121394me on the right
Almost...
>>140497...Time.
I can't believe it's been a full year, and unfortunately this year's prank SUCKS.
Gentlemen, we are bots.
At least we still have a cat. Happy Fools Day.
>>140998Very underwhelming April Fools day.
To another year of pounding Mike V's anus behind Ross Dress for Less
I would like to congratulate everyone for participating in this thread for 1 whole year.
>>90591test
>>142773To many more
>>142773thanks man
hehe
>>90589Congrats bro
>>142773<3
>>90589based
Racist skaters can't resist his punches.Did you know?
>>153520No, I did not.
What >>90229>>90525>>90526>>90527>>90528>>90529>>90530>>90531>>90532>>90533>>90534>>90535>>90536>>90537>>90538>>90539>>90540>>90541>>90542>>90543>>90545>>90546>>90547>>90548>>90549>>90550>>90551>>90552>>90553>>90554>>90555>>90556>>90557>>90558>>90559>>90560>>90561>>90562>>90563>>90565>>90566>>90567>>90568>>90569
>>153520That's news to me.
>>123606i have a real actually true similar story about mike v being a cunt. the year was 2006 i believe, maybe 07. mike v's band revilution mother was playing warped tour and my friend was working the stage he was on so i was just sitting next to the stage bullshitting with bands and helping out with random manual labor all day. i enjoyed mike vs bands show and didnt know he was the fightin dude from the old skate videos. when he walked off stage i said somethin like good job man that rocked and instead of acknowledging me at all he just stared through me and walked straight at me until i kinda dodged even though he had plenty of room to go around. his fucking cigarette nicked me and toasted my arm a little bit. dude has a chip on his shoulder bigtime, little bitch behavior. rick thorns band was playing the same stage and they sucked but he was like the nicest guy ever.
>>159905kek
>>90589Dayum. 62 if I'm not mistaken. This is a great day for /xs/, and therefore the world.
>>163529ENJOY YOUR BAN KIDDO
>>90589you did it!!!!
can this fucking shit thread die already
>>166402Why ya seething /a/utist?
>>166402Hey Valley
>>166402MIKE V IS A BIG TIME FAGGOT AND IN 2005 I FUCKED HIS ASS ON THE TRAIN TRACKS BEHIND THE ROSS DRESS FOR LESS>captcha KKK VAX
>>166402this nigga furious
>>166402Bumping to the front page just to make this anon mad lol, lmao even
>>166402How cranky is Anon?>As cranky as a guy who took it up the ass behind a Ross Dress for Less
>>166402No
>>90589Very nice.
>>167416Did you really do that?
>>176717Yeah.
>>90591xae $0
>>90593:shoopdw2:
Imagine if this thread makes it to 2 years lol
>>177327That would be funny.
>>177327I believe in this board
>>90589Epic. Truly epic
>>166402This thread will live forever if I have any say in the matter
>>180438This.
>>90229Don't let the flame die out!
>>90229...
>make a bump>delete the post after a couple of minutes>...Profit.
Quality thread, keep it up
almost...
>>90589Best thread on /xs/
>>190788checked
Well, this is something
Happy April Fools' Day!
Nice
Congratulations /xs/
i heard this dude diedapril fools
See you next year.
this was fun
>>90229>03/31/22wew
i beat him up in 2008
>>194841Were you a minor league hockey enforcer?
>>194841coping fag
>>192633BROKE NIGGA LOL
>>195925Hey Mike, what’s it like getting fucked in the ass by the train tracks behind Ross dress for less
>>194841Proof?
>>90229Oh bro thank you this is my personal Mandela. I even named my old youtube channel after him with the old spelling Didn't realise this was 2 years old.kek
he signed my buddy's deck at slam city jamseemed nice about it
>>90229Is this the oldest thread on the board?
I'VE GOT A VENDETTA
>>199572he's a cool fella
>>90589Erm what the freak how do you do this
>>199572Did he have to fuck him behind Ross dress for less to get it?
CAN THIS FUCKING THING JUST DIE ALREADY
>>209112>valley stans still raging over two years laterLmao
>be me>13 years old>2004>Iowa>shitty nowhere town>skating at the shitty local skatepark with 2 friends and gf>van pulls up>it's Mike fucking V>he has a whole film crew with him>woah>skates up to me and friends>does a boneless>almost hist my friend Colton in the face>he turns to the cameras>"we'll edit that out">"sup kids">woah h-hey Mike V>"we're filming this thing where I go to SHITTY skateparks in SHITTY states, like THIS ONE">oh okay>"yeah man this park SUCKS">turns to camera>looks off in the distance>"yeah I remember skateboarding at my shitty local park... okay cut">shoves my friend>laughs>skates around the park doing bonelesses >loudly yells "I'm going Mike Mode">a roadie runs up with an ipod and gives it to him>starts pushing around the park as fast as he can while a capella belting out the lyrics to "Vendetta" by his band>NOW>YOU SEE ME>AND YOU PISS YOURSELF>turtle taps my other friend as he rides by>this continues fir a few minutes>pulls up out of breath>looks at my friend's board>"man this board SUCKS">y-yeah Mike V>"I'm gonna give you new wheels">3 cameras on him as he gives the kid wheels>"okay cut">turtle taps friend>walks up to me and gf>"shame I didn't bring more wheels because your board SUCKS too">y-yeah>"you want a sticker?">sure Mike V!>"okay, but I get to punch your gf as hard as I want to">no>"okay kid that's fine just tell Mike V from Element that he should fuck himself and don't get a sticker, that's fine, faggot">turns to camera guy>"let's blow this banana patch">gets drill from van>drills a bunch of holes in the quarter pipe>flips us off as he drives awayA heavily edited version of this is in the Elementality Vol 1 clip "Mike V's tour across America" or whatever it's called. What a prick.
>>90589Wow congrats
>>95669Mike V is love, Mike V is life
>>209180I believe this happened irl
stic to your containment thread, plankflippers
>>209112quit being a fucking faggot Valley
>>201464Sure is fren
kekbump
