[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip / qa] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Search] [Home]
Board
Settings Home
/adv/ - Advice


Name
Options
Subject
Comment
Verification
4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
File
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.
  • AdBlock users: The default ruleset blocks images on /adv/. You must disable AdBlock to browse /adv/ properly.
  • Are you in crisis? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at +1 (800) 273-8255.

05/04/17New trial board added: /bant/ - International/Random
10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
06/20/16New 4chan Banner Contest with a chance to win a 4chan Pass! See the contest page for details.
[Hide] [Show All]


4chan Virtual YouTuber Contest - Submit Designs Here

Janitor acceptance emails will be sent out over the coming weeks Make sure to check your spam box!


[Catalog] [Archive]

File: 1530485133902.jpg (43 KB, 640x880)
43 KB
43 KB JPG
Ever since I was a kid, I've had this "idea"/concept of my ideal woman. "She" has been with me for ages, but now I feel that I'm starting to project a fantasy onto real people, and thus will never be able to love or genuinely connect, because I'll always be looking for "Her".
>inb4 high standards
Not really. I always liked natural redheads and being into /sci/ stuff myself, always wanted someone of similar interests. I mean, I'm studying Physics, so she could be a Chemist or a Mathematician, or whatever. I'm not particularly picky in other regards, but I'm not going to accept an uggo; I'm a fairly tall guy myself, have a workout regimen, clasically masculine features, wide back, etc. In my mind, she's a"classically beautiful" woman. No giant ass or humongous tits, but not a fridge either. That old-timey look of the perfect 50s wife or 20s socialite. Even stuff most people find unattractive on a woman, like a strong jaw, or being tall, I'm attracted to. So it's not like I have some extremelly specific type.

But, as I grow, I begin to transform into a much more different person than I was, to the point where I think I'm genuinely an evil man. And thus I cannot fathom the idea of any woman, let alone that perfectly constructed fantasy, to be able to love me. All my negative traits aside, I think there's something deeply wrong with me. I have a great relationship with my folks, and a good enough with cousins and all that, so I'm not afraid of becoming a violent psychopath, it's just that I have these ideas for what I want to do with my life. What I aim for, the road I'm following. And, I doubt that such a learned woman would like to follow. On one hand I yearn for something ripped out of an old magazine or a romcom; the perfect family with the kids that will fall asleep on your arms in front of the fireplace. And on the other, I plan terrible, monstrous things.

I feel like I'm losing my mind, in a way. Caught between fantasy and reality...
55 replies and 5 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
Give up and persue money. Greens are good for you.
>>
I don't think your list of traits for your ideal woman is unrealistic although the natural red hair might narrow things down a bit.
A 50's type wife would probably prefer to be oblivious to your evilness. Think wife of a special agent, spy, etc.
Are you any less deserving of a nice woman than any of the assholes out there that already have them?
>>
>>19922623
But what's the point of money, past the first year or so, if you're not leaving something behind to continue your work?
>>19922850
>A 50's type wife would probably prefer to be oblivious to your evilness. Think wife of a special agent, spy, etc.
I meant 50s Wife appearance-wise, not character-wise.
>Are you any less deserving of a nice woman than any of the assholes out there that already have them?
I don't know at this point.
>>
starting to smell like /pol/ in here...
>>
>>19923247
>if you don't share my Ultra-Left beliefs you're LITERALLY a Nazi from a WWII Hollywood Flick

File: 1530663489902.jpg (3.24 MB, 2560x1600)
3.24 MB
3.24 MB JPG
>feeling like a failure and without direction
Recently I applied for a military officer class and this is the second time I was denied. I feel lost because something I always loved and wanted to do feels distant now more than ever. I don't know what to do with my degree (Econ 3.94) I don't know what to do with my life I feel like every one is advancing now but I'm just starting

There's this girl that cheats on several guys at a time and it's pretty disgusting so I think it'd be pretty good revenge to interrupt her cheating with spam calls :)))
>>
Why do you care who she cheats on?
Are you one of her boyfriends?
Do you know her boyfriends?
>>
>>19923291
mind your own business.
>>
because I was one of the people she cheated on and yes I came home to her with another guy so fuck her
>>
>>19923291
And? Y not post the number here? She's just going to change it.
>>
she doesnt know how to change it she's too stupid and too busy cheating to get around to it

My mum and dad recently got divorced, I've been living with my mom since because she was destroyed after the split, she is really deppressed and lacks the energy to do much so i'm the one cooking, doing the laundrys, etc. Sometimes after dinner she shuts herself up in her room and starts whispering weird shit, she never did this before mind you, she used to be pretty upbeat, this has been happening for weeks now, three days ago i was carefully trying to listen to what she said through the wall of the contiguous room, she says stuff like "I fucking want to kill them", "i wish i could destroy them all" and "god will make them all pay". One day she went to visit her mother and i went to her room to check for something, i found our old family pictures all broken and the parts with my dad were missing, when i walked into the bathroom i saw a dagger with blood on it, I knew she used it, when she came back i got into the car and scanned for anything, i found a knife and a bat beneath one of the seats on the back, i was fucking scared and i don't know what she will do with that. WHAT THE FUCK CAN I DO?
>>
>>19923131
Your mom is bonkers man, have you contacted your dad about this? Or another family member maybe on your moms side like an aunt?
>>
>>19923192
My dad is not in town, called him on the phone and he offered to let me live with him and then try to find some help for mom when he comes back in a few weeks. I dont want to tell my grandma, she's old enough and stressed already, no one else is decent enough to help and they just puss out. If this thread is alive tomorrow i will try to put some updates since my mom has been drawing all kinds of weird shit in a notebook, fucking satanic stars and shit.

>be me anxiety disorder since age 5
>off and on antidepressants for 5 years since age 15
>have tried 10 different antidepressants
>they’ve all either given me severe depression or made me attempt suicide

i just recently took myself off pristiq because it was making me feel like i was going insane. i had brain fog so bad that i couldn’t even drive. i couldn’t correctly string words together to make coherent sentences

anyway, the anxiety is back and i’m feeling so helpless and hopeless

the only thing that helps me is klonopin but i don’t want to be on that forever and it only bandaids my problem

therapy has never helped me

i have chronic back pain as well (spinal stenosis) and i’m seriously contemplating suicide at this point even though i’m a smart college student with a loving and supportive family


Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
>>
What sorts of therapy have you tried? What did you feel like was unhelpful about it? What's a general day look like for you? Do you have hobbies, friends, do you go outside for things besides college? What sort of anxiety disorder is it?

This has some more extreme options that you could look into trying. http://slatestarcodex.com/2014/06/16/things-that-sometimes-help-if-youre-depressed/ Also, this is a really good video with some really interesting insight into depression. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2X4qySqsYP8 It might give you a different way of treating it that could be worth looking into.
>>
>>19922681
i’ve tried cognitive behavioral therapy and biofeedback. the whole aspect was unhelpful even when i worked on what they had me work on (i’m not sure why)

a general day for me is
>go to school 5-7 hours a day
>sleep in my car in between classes because i’m always exhausted
>come home
>occasionally go to ballet class
>occasionally go to my boyfriend’s college to hang

i don’t have many hobbies... i used to play the violin in high school but nothing interests me anymore

all of my friends go to a college 2.5 hours away (i left that school to go to a community college so i could live at home bc anxiety)

i’m always exhausted, but when i leave my house/school i’ll only ever go to my boyfriend’s dorm to hang or go to parties

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>
>>19922704
oh yeah i forgot to add that after school about once a week i go to rehab for my back or i go to a psychiatrist appointment
>>
>>19922704
>the whole aspect was unhelpful even when i worked on what they had me work on (i’m not sure why)
Could you try to explain what your therapists were like? Did you have ones who led you and guided you actively or were they more passive? Both? Did you have any expectations about therapy you wanted but didn't feel like they were met?

>i don’t have many hobbies
I know this one's hard but you've got to go find something you take pleasure in. Mental stimulation and fulfillment is incredibly important when it comes to taking care of yourself. Try stuff until something clicks.

>sleep in my car in between classes because i’m always exhausted
What's your sleeping pattern like? A poorly maintained sleeping pattern (too much, too little, or odd hours) can make depression worse.

>i have generalized and social anxiety disorders
Do you find any difference between talking to acquaintances and strangers (eg. a classmate versus a shop clerk in a neighboring town)? Could you give me an idea of the severity of both?
>>
Tried CBD in a vape pen once, and it didn't much for me. I haven't tried a tincture because they're really expensive, like 80-100.

Let me know if you're still reading so I can offer you some tips or hear your story.

t. an anon with a severe anxiety disorder.

Need some advice!
Looking for grade A porn
To end my night and get some good sleep in.
Post links

Anons never deliver

File: 20150920_150439.jpg (2.76 MB, 1836x3264)
2.76 MB
2.76 MB JPG
>24
>live with parents (paying rent)
>work from home

The weekdays are so dredging and I don't want to live like this.

>invested in tcg, no community in my city
>aquarium, no specialty aquatics in my city (hardly any in country)
>invested in good computer for games and learning to program better, burned out after work
>got some books, but burned out after work
>cant relax in living room, parents will always ask me to do things for them (i know this sounds selfish, but i just want to relax sometimes) so stuck in my room

>want to travel, too expensive, building career and gf is here
>want to move to better city, real estate is nuts, renting would be retarded to do alone financially


Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
5 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>19923211
>>19923203
>The weekends I have fun with my girlfriend, but god life just sucks aside from the weekends
Forgot to add that I can only see her on the weekends at this time
>>
>>19922633
welcome to adulthood
>>
>>19923224
Thanks, sounds like you're an experienced adult. Do you have any advice?
>>
>>19922633
You're complaining about work being shitty? Is that the problem? Why would that change if you worked from home in a different city? And why is renting retarded? Rent a room not an entire unit. But also, why couldn't you travel and work remotely anywhere?

Why are you talking about going to the gym?
>>
>>19923230
>You're complaining about work being shitty? Is that the problem?
Work is shitty, but I'm not complaining about work. I'm complaining about my life after work. People say to do what you'd do on the weekend during the weekday sometimes to have a more enjoyable week. This is the approach that makes most sense to me and I've been trying to find ways to enjoy my week since I started working but I cannot for those reasons.
>Why would that change if you worked from home in a different city?
More communities, more events, more points of interest, etc. More of everything. Not to mention I would live closer to my girlfriend, who I can see more often then and not have this problem. We plan on moving in together when she's done university but I want to enjoy my life outside of our relationship too
>And why is renting retarded? Rent a room not an entire unit.
I'm already renting a room for cheaper than other places I'd find.
>But also, why couldn't you travel and work remotely anywhere?
Security issues. I can work in other places in my country, but I live in one of the cheapest areas in my region already. Can't move too far either, I want to maintain my relationship. Housing prices are a problem here.
>Why are you talking about going to the gym?
Everyone suggests this here for situations like mine, and I've been advised to before as well. It actually does help, but I after a while it loses it's charm for me

Hey /adv/ So I'm currently about a month in on dealing with a bad breakup, i was dumped and slowly I am becoming better and working harder on myself, however there's a girl at my work that i find really cute and want to take her out for coffee. My dilemma is that I'm not 100% over my ex, so I'm not sure whether to leave it be and not waste her time or still take her out and see where things go, what would be the best option?
>>
Why did you get dumped?
Also, don't shit where you eat but you know this already.
>>
>>19923196
She said she didn't have the same feelings for me as she did when we first started dating

>be popular
>have tons of friends
>become a depressed shit pile for the rest of the year from family shit
>spend most of time in room listening to sad music while sobbing
>lost my best long term friend due to a car crash
>lost another friend from a logging accident
>didn't want to make an effort to make any other friends
>pushed everyone away
>lost hope of everything
>one friend left, has to move to different country soon
>considering necking myself at this point. Someone give me some adv at this point. Cause I really fucking need it.
>>
>>19923209
dont be a fucking coward. talk to other people and make new friends, you have done it once before you can do it again
>>
First step is not committing suicide and seeking help. It's pretty hard and with minimal details it's hard to say what you can do. Find your purpose in life.

File: tfw1310155890001.png (15 KB, 634x768)
15 KB
15 KB PNG
>start dating with a new waifu
>spend all night with new waifu
>laughs and sex
>she seeme really into it
>calls my name etc
>all well
>finish and take a nap
>her fists clench
>maybe a bad dream
>she opens her eyes
>teary
>what happened
>"I am not sure what to say, maybe it's stupid."
>"gotta go get some air maybe I got too tired."
>she leaves in bad mood

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.

File: 1534014616668.jpg (59 KB, 395x401)
59 KB
59 KB JPG
alright anons, lets see what advice you got for me
>decide to hang out with girl who said she liked talking to me over past 2 months
>one day we plan to do something in 5 days
>flakes extremely late
>next day invites me out
>all seems fine
>ask to hang out a few days later
>no response
what do i do, am I fucked?
>>
Try again. She might not have seen the message before it seemed awkward to respond.
>>
>>19923214
Well, that appears to be the consensus amongst most people, thank you for your advice anon

File: 1526432613931.jpg (76 KB, 1136x640)
76 KB
76 KB JPG
I paid $600 for a graphics card, the individual claims it was lost in the mail and said he'll refund the money, unfortunately he refuses to post any definitive proof that he's refunded the money (e.g. a receipt from the bank, a screenshot cropped image of his statement with the deposit information, etc.) and it's nearly been a week. This wasn't done through Paypal either so I can't turn to them for help either. Do I go to the police and report fraud or do I hire a solicitor instead? What're my options here? Any advice or help would be sincerely appreciated.
>>
Police likely won’t help.

Keep on the guy but you have to give him time for the check or whatever to arrive at your doorstep.
>>
>>19923169
Need moar deets. Aince u didnt use gaypal, what method of payment? How did u come about this $600 gpu? Lost in the mail = red flag unless tracking provided. U fuxxored
>>
>>19923183
No tracking information was provided so that immediately set off some red flags.
I made a direct deposit into his bank account but I've kept all the receipts and the conversation handy to prove fraud if and when it becomes necessary,
>>
>>19923189
>direct deposit
That’s a yikes from me.

File: IMG_-s69mib.png (9 KB, 338x339)
9 KB
9 KB PNG
I lose interest really quick in things. Every month. Every single fucking month. I will pick up a new hobby. Beat it to death. Learn something new about it everyday 24/7. But after every month or 2. I completely stop. Why is this? I have done this with chess, learning physics, learning the Russian language, cooking, even college as a whole. What is wrong with me? I can never finish anything or keep with it? Im back to playing video games until a new hobby comes along. Can anyone help me?
29 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
Buy a drone
>>
>>19922906
>>19922902
>>19922868
>>19922865
>>19922214
I don't get the joke
>>
>>19922934
Well then buy a drone
>>
>>19922934
Neither do we homie
>>
>>19922934
you will once you buy a drone

File: 1473723800815.gif (609 KB, 700x500)
609 KB
609 KB GIF
ive been seeing my girlfriend for a little over a year now and we've been good friends for longer than that. While we were still friends, she hooked with two people whom are both fucking awful people and i hate them to this day. when we first started our relationship i didn't care about this at all but for awhile now its been bothering me more and more. i love her but man the mental image of her getting fucked by those losers is so awful. Am i an asshole and should i just get over it?
>>
It’s tough to get past that. With my ex, what helped was talking about feeling like shit when she talks about her exes. She said something like, I’ve got nothing to fear about them, that I was who she wanted, that she could’ve picked other guys and gone for other guys, etc. Something clicked about that and whatever was making me feel inadequate went away.

File: 943.jpg (74 KB, 800x1117)
74 KB
74 KB JPG
I've been depressed for a couple years but recently something has gotten me bedridden for a while now. After being broken off from my only friend without any closure I feel broken inside. They would have mood swings and just generally treat me like shit a lot. They told me a lot they had bpd and used to do some pretty horrible things to people. Like flying over to kill her bfs ex. And taking drugs and lashing out on people. Is there any way for recovery? I haven't been able to make any friends due to distrust for anyone. I feel like this person who altered my view on reality. I've been to the psych ward and currently am seeing a therapist. But even she says she doesn't know what to do with me.
>>
How long have you been bedridden? I’m in much the same position. No job, don’t go out... all despite having a mountain of student loan debt in default, and having a grad degree in a prestigious field. I just can’t get myself moving.
>>
>>19923142
Half a year. ive tried taking walks. eating the right foods and im on medication.
>>
>>19923147
Ah man, yeah, we’re in much the same boat. My brother started forcing me to go to the park for walks every day a couple weeks ago. I couldn’t believe how out of shape I was.

Things were going great until I had a fight with him. Haven’t gone since. I was actually starting to feel pretty good.



Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.