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I have a pretty good rolodex of moments when I’ve been checked out or hit on by cute young ladies & sexy older MILFs. How can I draw on these experiences to be more self-confident?
>>
What do rolodexes have to do with anything?

Listen, if you need other people to try to feel confident you're going about it all wrong and will struggle with confidence always. Confidence, like most things in life, comes from inside you. It comes from loving ones self, and knowing through EXPERIENCE that you have the mental tools and skills to get yourself successfully through a given situation, and life in general.

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I got some Tabasco hot sauce, which dish would be good to try it out?
I'm not sure if I should get some popcorn, some Lays or if it's meant for some more formal food.
2 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>30923743
It is unusual to put it on a banana but it is not bad.
>>
Tomato pasta tastes better with hot sauce
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>>30923743
pizza or scrambled eggs. google 'tabasco sauce serving suggestions'
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>>30923743
Here's what I do:
> Buttered slice of bread
> Bacon
>Sunny side up egg
>Tabasco on top
>Yummy.

Tabasco is also good with any kind of roasted veggies.
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>>30923743
Eggs, all kinds

Hello everyone, my name is Temirlan and I am from Kazakhstan. For the last 3 years I have been living with thoughts of suicide, due to the fact that I lost many people close to me (brother, father and mother in an accident 3 years ago and a girlfriend a year earlier). At first, I was held back by the thought that I wanted to help my close sister and did not want her to grieve even more. I had large debts, over $9,000, left over from my parents, so it was a difficult period for me. And now I’m already at rock bottom and on the verge of suicide, I think about it every day and try to think positively, because I still have a little sister. But I am still under pressure from the guardianship authorities due to the fact that our living conditions are poor; if this happens, I will definitely fold my arms and give up. I hope for your support, if there is work, I am ready to work. Give me advice on where I can invest my last $50. Maybe I can get out of this if I invest it correctly.
my telegram: @swuter
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>>30924299
How old are you and your sister? What are the guardianship authorities threatening to do?
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>>30924350
She is 9 years old and the guardianship authorities want to take her away due to poor living conditions. For me, she is the only close person for whom I live
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>>30924431
Thank you very much for your support, I’m just trying with all my might and at the moment I’m already on my last breath. Yesterday the guardianship authorities arrived and did another check. And he said, if in 2-3 days my sister’s living conditions do not improve, then they will take her away from me. I don’t know what to do, and now I’m sitting here thinking what to do, I can’t let this happen. I have already tried to apply for various benefits and so on, but due to the fact that we have a highly corrupt country, they ask for money everywhere. At the moment I work two jobs (cashier during the day and courier at night) and sleep 4-6 hours, this money is enough to rent an apartment (18 sq/m in a terrible area) and for food. We had everything, I sold it a long time ago to pay off part of the loans, and at the moment there is a struggle for life every day.
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>>30924299
>>30924431
>>30924765
Go look for any charities and benefactors. Try churches, or mosques or whatever you have in Kazakhstan. Have a breakdown in the street if you think it'll help. It's monstrous of the government to take away your sibling in such circumstances. If you can just get attention, I am sure that the people will prevent this and maybe even help you recover. Have you tried family? Friends? Try your local mayor or parliament member. Even if they can't help directly, they may know people who can.

I was thinking of buying a fire extinguisher recently.

Does it make sense to keep one in your house? Or would it be better to just leave it to the pros if you were at the point of needing one?
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>>30924577
i will buy a small one. just in case.

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So for the last 2 weeks this really tall black girl has just started talking to me out of nowhere
She sits next to me but she’s never talked to me she’s really interested in me and always asks me questions
She’s pretty good looking but I don’t know what her intentions are
2nd girl is this cute Spanish (I think) girl with a really stupid name
We were put in a group together and she seems very nice to me she texted me at 11pm a few days ago for help on our exam
She’s pretty cute with a nice bod and glasses
3rd girl I like the most
She’s really pretty got glasses and likes a lot of some stuff as me I’ve been working up the courage to ask her to lunch
She kinda looks like the YouTuber Illymations unironically
Found her instagram but don’t know if I should follow or not
Mainly just want to see if she has a bf so I don’t waste my time
Ok Anons who should I go for and also should I follow girl 3 on Instagram?
Also I see girl 3 tomorrow so should I ask her for lunch?
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>>30924575
Repeat thread. Did you act on any of the advice in the first thread?

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I sometimes get checked out.by women who are out with their boyfriends. Can I flirt back without being creepy or a dick to said boyfriends?
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>Can I flirt back without being creepy or a dick to said boyfriends?
no
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>>30924533
So… keep a poker face, pretend not to notice & jerk off when I get home?
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>>30924523
I would tell you once to fuck off. If you don't I'll send you to the emergency room.
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>>30924523
honestly you can and should flirt back, look into their eyes and give them a smile
the bf needs to know his girl is a whore before shit gets too serious

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I’m in my early ‘20s & live with my parents & sister, who’s a couple years younger than me. My sister gets stressed out at work a lot & seems to like taking it out on me, talking down to me like I’m a child, ordering me to do petty tasks & expecting me to run errands for her at the drop of at a hat. Obviously, I can refuse, but then she’ll get angry, we’ll argue, she’ll eventually start screeching at the top of her voice, maybe even try to provoke a physical fight & my ageing parents will suffer for it. My dad tells me to not to provoke her as she’s been diagnosed with a mental illness, but I’m tired of giving in. What can I do to assert myself without escalating things?
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
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>>30924296
Overload her with meta-psychological stuff, give her some books/youtube links on the Universe and how to interact with it.

You can't change her directly, so you need to do it subtly yet give her actually profound stuff that will motivate her to rise above her current boundaries as a person.

Try asking her what she thinks on the principles of Buddhism or Catholic philosophy like Thomas Aquinas. Well obviously she wouldn't know about it so chew it down into terms she'd comprehend.

I'd recommend getting her to watch "Jing King of Bandits" if she's into anime.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHiljMMzy2E

Basically you have to elevate her spiritually to the level where her sophistication would outweigh her pettiness.
>>
>>30924409
P.S.

Personally I'd also throw in "Limitless" with Bradley Cooper - an awesome movie.

I mean like ideally, you'd do none of this and just leverage arguments with her psychologically/with intimidation but that is not an option in your situation. You are not her babysitter so you are not obliged to educate her. But in this case, you quite literally have to do this.

You do not have the right to oppose your sister if she is mentally sick since she can't handle emotional aggression properly.

So all you can do is to elevate her psychologically.
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>>30924296
P.S. And yeah, you have to actually get her to talk to you, which means establishing a dialogue discourse with her.

But you're siblings so this should be fairly easy.
>>
>>30924296
P.S.
Give her these "lectures" in careful and steady dosages.

And in the case where she vaguely appeals to something like "I don't care about this nerdy crap" you can gently deflect by saying something along the lines of "the fundamental values of humanity's millenial experience are infinitely more valuable than degrading reddit culture that leads to mental illness"...(this would make for a nice subtle roast but don't overdo do it by being too mean).

But of course you have to pull it off with an intimidating presence without being too wordy one step at a time or leaning into cringe territory.

It's a very thin line but it's doable.

Ultimately it'd be a good long term solution and a virtuous one at that - having a good familial bond with your sister by blood is a noble goal worth striving for.
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>>30924296
>My dad tells me to not to provoke her as she’s been diagnosed with a mental illness, but I’m tired of giving in. What can I do to assert myself without escalating things?
Useless dad. Many such cases. This is a household problem, not something that you can solve on your own. If she bothers you, just ignore her or tell her that if she continues to act like this, you're done with her. You can also move away, if possible.

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I have depression and I take my meds. I've been this way for most of my life. Normal people police what can and cannot be said about my illness. "Don't 'glamorize' this", "Don't joke about this", "Depression is only like this", "You haven't had enough trauma for yor sadness to matter", "Put a suicide warning in your m rated game or you will kill people" and any general misinformation. I've seen this for years and I don't want to be represented by them or any fakes or self diagnosers.
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>>30924247
One of the reasons I haven't gone to a psychiatrist is because of things like these. There just so much fucking noise by losers who pretend to know
>>
Does a single soul every say any of that goober shit to you in real life? The internet isn’t real life.
Stop filling your brain with everyone else’s worthless, jaded musings on anything and everything and you just might find yourself somewhat less depressed.
>>
>>30924247
For every person that says any of that, there is another person who thinks the opposite. It's not difficult to find people with opinions you disagree with, in any aspect of life. Being understanding and not getting pissed off is strength, because it very likely does NOT MATTER. Like, can you imagine 2 guys yelling at each other over the coaching decisions of a sports team? Or two people arguing over politics? It's all trivial nonsense.

I also don't think it's healthy whatsoever to wear depression as an identity.
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>>30924291
My family.

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How do I get over having graduated college late for reasons beyond my control? My peers are so far ahead already that it's hard not to consider giving up altogether. On the other hand, I'm an old fuck who grew old without ever being young and accomplished literally nothing.

I feel doomed to a life of mediocrity.
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>>30924399
How old and what sort of degree?
>>
>>30924415
42 in digital media innovation
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>>30924500
and what kind of job can you get with that?
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>>30924517
I'm trying to get a job in HR but it's hard as a male
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>>30924399
Nothing to do but keep the show rolling, soldier.

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Now I know the obvious immediate answer is no, but I have a reason to consider it. We broke up a long time ago, like 7 years. We’d been in some contact intermittently for a few years after that but it always ended with me getting hurt again, usually because she’d start dating someone else again. I suspect I was just some brief rebound each time.
Recently I had an epiphany about why I was still bothered by her and sometimes she invaded my thoughts: I felt robbed. I felt like my most meaningful romantic relationship I’d had, and still have had at this point, was stolen from me. I felt like I’d been robbed of what could have been a long term relationship after having already been friends for like 5 years beforehand. I’d have married this bitch. She broke up with me because of her mom (allegedly) like a month after I visited her for the first time.

TL;DR I had an epiphany about why I was so hung up on my ex for like 8 years and I’m not sure if reaching out to her about it would give me any closure about the whole thing or just fuck with me emotionally.
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>>30924333
Does she initiate the contacts? I would cut off all contact. Women who use a man as an emotional tampon should be completely ghosted.
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>>30924368
She did most times if not all. I cut off contact a while back. The most recent thing I saw of her was a Snapchat story of her baby shower, so she got pregnant at some point I guess. That hurt to see desu. I since deleted her on that.
>>
>>30924435
Dude she's clearly moved on. You need to as well. You're neven gonna get the closure you want and you need to learn to accept that's just how it is sometimes. I'm speaking from personal experience. Went through a very similar situation, just genders reversed.
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>>30924452
Alright, I'll just take my little bit of self-discovery and keep it for myself. I genuinely wasn't sure if talking about it was healthy to do or not.

How do you groon an intelligent gril successfully.
>>
>>30924327
What does groon mean?
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>>30924327
either have a huge dick or be smarter than her
literally that's it
>>
>>30924327
girls are retarded and easy to swoon. Just ignore the "intelligence" of her, all that matters is what kind of stuff she's into so you can make an impression.
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>>30924327
1. Kill yourself.
2. Stay dead.

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trauma from vicious sexual harassment in my teen years
I just can't get over it I still feel violated and shit, I often get nightmares from that man's ugly face, the only reason why I wouldn't go as far as calling it rape is cause no penatration happened but he very much threatend with it and basically did everything else other than that which I don't wanna go into detail with
it also caused me unrelenting hatred for homosexual men and I just had depressive episodes since it happened, my whole degree of happiness has been permanently crippled since it happened
I was 16, he was 25
I'm 24 now and could probably beat him up till he passes out unlike when i was still 16
the police never managed to find the person based on the description I gave of him
and I just feel a total lack of closure and for whatever reason my brain is making me blame myself and I feel horribly emasculated whenever I think of it, the degree of shame I feel as a man i just too painful and when I try to talk about it in therapy or to my parents I just feel so much worse, cause it just completely obliterates any sense of pride i have of myself
genuinely how do I get over this trauma, I've been trying for so long and I just can't seem to find an answer
3 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>30924234
thank you
>>
>>30924093
This is pretty heavy op and I feel sorry you have experienced it.
For one, the trauma is still very fresh, your development bracket is not that far from when it happened and so the impact lingers.

I strongly believe that this requires the work with a professional, as I have the feeling its kind of bordering at a split of selves in a way. It sounds stupid but it seems you grapple with the shock of your past self in contrast to what you think you could done with police and the discrepancy between your past self action and what you are now able to.
It feels like you have not taken your past self with you along the road and part of you is stuck in that shame and hurt.

If there is the possibility to call the police on him, I would. As for the complexity of your experience that takes proper care.

All I can tell you is, its possible to process this experience and not only that, but to come out of it stronger in mind and spirit. I am confident you will overcome these obstacles and adversities and you will find pride and happiness in your very strong and profound sense of self and manhood. I know you achieve that!
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>>30924364
You’re welcome. One day in the future you’ll realize that you no longer feel that this trauma defines who you are, and you’ll probably find yourself moved to tears because of it.
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>>30924093
Look up Theo Fleury. A hall of fame hockey player who was repeatedly raped by a hockey coach for years starting when he was 12 or 13. He has a book and a documentary called playing with fire. He was on top of the world all while falling apart from the emotional scars of all that abuse.
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>>30924093
>and when I try to talk about it in therapy or to my parents I just feel so much worse, cause it just completely obliterates any sense of pride i have of myself
It feels worse because you are releasing it, so it's bubbling up to the surface. Burning it all off will be painful but it'll be healthier than keeping it all in.
Finally, realise that as horrible as the event was, nothing about it touches your inner being. His actions do not reflect on you. It's in the past, this man abused his power, and a tragic thing happened. But it doesn't say anything about you. It is okay to get angry at injustice. But you have nothing to feel defeated about. You were a kid. He was a grown man. He is the one who did something shameful, not you.
You will be okay. Show compassion to yourself.

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previous
>>30920182
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>>30926297
>He actually coined the term gender too.
He did not. He coined the term "gender role". "Gender" as distinct from "sex" was in use in academia for ~10 years before Money coined the term.
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>>30926206
FUCK /ATOSA/!
>>
Im happy to see that others have as much disdain as I did for /atosa/ and Im even happier it got culled
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>>30926363
AND FUCK TRANNIES
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>>30926270
There are.

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How are you supposed to enjoy anything if you have nobody to share it with?
I just went on a cool vacation, where I had a lot of new experiences, did new things etc.
But whats the point? Now that I'm back from it I have literally 0 people to talk about it with, so it's like it could have have not happened at all and I might as well just have dreamt/imagined all of it.
2 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>30922352
I have literally not mentioned a gf even once in my post
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>>30922371
>Maybe you should try making some friends.
And how do I do that?
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>>30922348
You can only enjoy something if you can tell someone about it? That seems pretty strange. If you feel that way, why did you even go on holiday by yourself in the first place?
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>>30923805
Go talk to people.

Join a club.

Find a hobby.
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>>30922348
>How are you supposed to enjoy anything if you have nobody to share it with?
Take pictures. Remember how annoying and limiting other people can be.

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3 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>30923872
Man anon here. Why are you here, femanons? I'm here because I feel a need to help people, even if what some need is a good slap in the head.
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>>30924303
Boredom mostly. It's like Reddit but less regarded. That or I have a question but I get too lazy to make a post about it once I actually get on 4chan and there's no suitable megathreads about it. Then I just end up browsing a bit.
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>>30924303
I used to like using forums in the early 2010's and I miss forums. /adv/ and specifically atoga kind of give me a similar feeling as forums did, I like it.
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>>30924302
There are "nerdy" men and there are nerdy men. The former have fallen into a stereotype because they are weak and easily influenced. Not to be confused with intelligent men who are passionate about their interests.
>>
>>30924321
Good point, agreed


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