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File: betrayal_by_greyfinch.jpg (81 KB, 705x587)
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>Been with girl almost 3 years
>Have child, living together
>Notice her acting suspicious
>Gain access to her snapchat, she's been talking to and sending suggestive photos to a guy, no nudes
>Confront her, find out shes hung out with him, swears no intimate contact
>Says she became unhappy with relationship, still loves me, wants to work things out
I feel totally fucking betrayed, but I truly love this woman with all of my heart. What do I do?
28 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
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>>19292308

Shit, late to the party but I swear Snapchat has fucked up more relationships than any other app in existence. More than a few of my friends have had issues with their GFs who post a bunch of fun snaps, get fast attention from old male friends from HS, and start to stray cause of it. Shit is relationship cancer.
>>
>>19292308
Tell her to pack her shit and get out. If you have any respect for yourself you would not continue with this relationship.

I yake it that you’re naive enough to believe that ahe didnt fuck newguy. But she did, and she loved it. Youre just a provider now and nothing more.

You do respect yourself, dont you?
>>
>>19293065
>Dont kive together until married
>Dont have sex until married

Those two things are important for learning what the other is really like. Are you saying go into a lifelong commitment and legal bond blind? No thanks.
>>
>>19295857

I had a friend in college who started a three way relationship with their two roommates. They all fucked each other in pairs or as a threesome.

From the outside the arrangement looked perfect.
>>
>>19292308
you better love yourself and move on or prepare to get burnt

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any tips on growing a pair of balls and just doing something im afraid to do?
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
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>>19295618
I tell all the people around what am I going to do. This way, if I don't do it, there will be social repercussions for me - people will know I fucked up. This gives me enough motivation to do it.
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>>19295618
If you dont, the regret your life will be filled with will become overwhelming.
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>>19295632
This and also just doing it
Just do it.
The more you do it and hate yourself, the easier it gets and less you hate yourself.

Also the gym helps
>>
Do it faggot
>>
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"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

I have this pattern(?) where I will get a craving to create/learn something in an area or field where I've little to no expertise (make an electronic song, become a smart investor, learn how to cook something really well). Normally this might be seen as something positive, but for me the results end up being a half-completed project and time taken away from studying and things that will benefit me in the long-run.

Basically it's something like, ok I have to study Calculus... right after I watch this video on creating powerful kick drums. And I will use that project/fleeting interest as an excuse to procrastinate. Now the thing is I genuinely get interested in most of these areas/fields, and it wouldn't be an issue if I was using my spare time to work on them. However, I end up using vital time to fuck around. Lately I've been doing this less, but I think I've just replaced it with browsing the boards over and over. I have little faith in myself and no discipline, two things which depend on each other (IMO).

How do I go about gaining more discipline and building faith in myself?
4 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>19295196

You should consider yourself lucky that you have so many interests, however fleeting, when so people can't even think if one.

Here's what you do. You pick one. Now set it as your goal. Which means legitimately studying the discipline, so actually committing to it, whether this is in the form of a weekend seminar, some tech school or actual college doesn't matter. Just pick one and get good at it.

The more skilled you become at something, the more engrained it becomes. The reason all your interests are passing is because you have not glued them to your brain by learning.
>>
>>19295303

>is there anything even more basic that I can do to build discipline?
>I just feel like I'm that bad.

Oh okay so you're just a spoilt brat. Well disregard my advice then. No there is nothing you can do that's easy you fuckwit, put in some effort for once jesus how terrible must it be to sit and do nothing forever?
>>
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>>19295364
>Oh okay so you're just a spoilt brat. Well disregard my advice then. No there is nothing you can do that's easy you fuckwit, put in some effort for once jesus how terrible must it be to sit and do nothing forever?

Well I'm apathetic to most thing so I really just kinda wish I were dead. I drive no meaningful pleasure from being a spoilt brat, anon.
>>
>>19295413
>Well I'm apathetic to most thing so I really just kinda wish I were dead. I drive no meaningful pleasure from being a spoilt brat, anon.

To clarify, I mean that I just get off on short bursts of dopamine to satisfy my day-to-day, I know this is wrong but I've not the discipline or self-confidence to do otherwise and I want to change that.
>>
>>19295421

Well to change it follow this advice >>19295281 >>19295358 these are the first steps you're looking for.

>would like casual sex
>not in a good situation to begin dating
>dont want to buy drinks for strangers because i'm stingy
>not a rapist
Can I get laid if none of these change?
2 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>19295181
This, I didn't go to my first high-school party until I was 27.
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>>19295203
Wut
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>>19295203
Gross dude.
>>
>>19295181
>Find out where college kids have house parties
How do you even do this
>>
>>19295150
>why won't girls have sex with me if i want to put give them nothing except my weiner?

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how does a 30 year old meet women
and don't say online dating like tinder because i don't do that
i've thought about volunteering or going to church or a gym or something
is there anything i haven't thought of?
7 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>19295712
not at all
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>>19295734
Then you're fine, mate.
If you live in a big city, you can find lots of online shit for clubs.
If in a small town, there are (IRL) bulletin boards for that type of stuff.
>>
>>19295667
>how does a 30 year old meet women

Welcome to quarterlife crisis.
>>
>>19295667
Try meetup. You could find older single people on there and you'd most likely be meeting up to share a common interest like craft beer or baseball or hiking or whatever else.
>>
>>19295667
Don't you think you're too old for dating?

I have ADHD and suffer from rejection sensitive dysphoria which makes it hard to tell if I’m over-reacting or not, I need /adv/ to help me out here.

I’m considering breaking up with my girlfriend who I’ve been with for two years. We see each other every three months because of different universities (we’re both middle 20s though) but used to regularly talk. We haven’t talked in two weeks because she messed her sleep schedule up (her classes are usually scheduled late into the day) and as a result she’s only up for two hours before I go to bed. I can’t tell if she’s just unwilling to make time for me, or if I’m being unreasonable here. We’re both serious about the relationship. Furthermore, some things that she’s done that makes me question our future together:

>Says she’ll be around tomorrow, I stay up late because she said she’ll be around, but never writes to me on Messenger despite being active.
>Forgot my birthday. Not that big of a deal to me, we don’t do presents and stuff but I can’t help feeling a little hurt from not even getting a happy birthday.
>We haven’t talked in a week, when we talk she gets occupied with other shit.
>Claimed birth control pills make her nauseous and she prefers to not use it, a few months later said she regularly takes them sometimes, denies getting nauseous from thrm. Haven’t confronted her about this, I think she forgot she told me they make her nauseous. I started making sure to wrap it the fuck up after that.

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TLDR: How can I practice being intimate with a girl?

I'm 20 and I have Aspergers. In high school I thought I would end up a virgin who lived with his parents forever. But I've been gaining a lot of confidence recently because I found out that I'm more capable than I thought I was. Things are looking up for me.

I've always wanted a girlfriend and pretty soon I might be able to get one. But I have zero experience when it comes to sex and even kissing. If I started dating a girl wouldn't it be akward if I was like "hey, when comes to sexual stuff I have no idea what I'm doing. Can you help me and show me how it's done?" To me that seems like a huge turn off. So, how can I practice kissing, sex, ect.?
>>
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Heya just want to pop in and say i don't think itd be a turn off to ask for a bit of help..heck to some girls it might even be really cute and some like to be in charge as well but it would depend in the girl yanno? Kissing is quite easy just let Ur lips touch its that simple..if ur not sure how to go about trying to kiss look at her and part ur lips a bit lean in too she might get the hint..as far as that im not sure what else to say...uh...girls like to be caressed ! Play in her hair .. Touch her cheek i know it may sound difficult but it all looks up i wish u lots of luck UwU
>>
>>19295787
You just fake it till you make it. Watch amateur porn. Emphasis on the amateur...
>>
>>19295902
Yea that too..watch porn
>>
>>19295787
Just ask How do you do X? Some girls might think that's a turn on. Don't be scared to ask. As for kissing, let your lower lip touch their upper lip. Don't eat them or make too much sound when kissing.

I got the chance to lay a thai ladyboy. But I am scared as hell to get hiv. Is it a justified fear?
>>
>>19294825
No you should be fine even without a condom. Thai ladyboys are known for their cleanliness
>>
>>19294851
>lel
>>
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>>19294825
Just use a condom.

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I don't know what I want to do with my life. I find it hard to choose a good career that I would enjoy. I'm 18 and I've worked two jobs part time, I was a landscaper and I'm currently a pizza delivery driver, and I've graduated high school and I have about 9 college credits under my belt. It's not much but it's better than being a NEET. How do I find a career that's good for me? I don't have any particular passions other than running and video games. I hate not knowing what I want to do because it seems as if everyone else has passions and knows exactly what they want to do. Please help me /adv/
>>
Too little details OP. Do you enjoy helping people? Can you stand doing the same thing over and over again? Can you sit down for a long time? What are you studying?
>>
>>19295893
I love helping people, making someone that's having a bad day smile is the best feeling in the world. I don't mind repetition, as long as it's engaging. I am studying Fire Science, but I don't think I want to be a firefighter anymore.

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>when you can't take back all the things you said throughout your life that were cruel and/or prevented you from getting laid an indefinite amount of times

So I downloaded Grindr for the lulz, you know just to troll because I’m not gay, and my friends saw the app on my phone and now they all think I’m gay heeeelp
11 replies omitted. Click here to view.
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>>19295316
Literally who?
>>
>>19295317
The Supreme Gentleman. He was the perfect guy.
>>
>>19295312
>Suck my dick

Wait so are you really gay or not?
>>
>>19295331
Super gay. Just look at those lips.

I'd love them pursed around the base of my cock no homo.
>>
>>19295276
It's not gay if you suck a friend's dick.

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Is there any universe in which I manage to cure my social anxiety bordering on selective mutism, exacerbated by years of living like a shut-in with no human contact?
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
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>>19295827
Who says you're supposed to not be anxious
>>
>>19295837
Psychedelics give me a bad trip every single time. If I was surrounded by people it would be even worse and I'd probably commit suicide

>>19295844
What does that mean. No anon, I'm not supposed to be this way. Nobody else is.
>>
>>19295827
Yeah, get off the computer, put down your phone and go meet people. You may have to sit alone for a bit but eventually you'll talk or they will.

I'm glad I'm old enough to have been social before the internet fucked every kid up. I met someone a decade younger than me that had never seen a shooting star. Because they were always looking at a fucking phone.

You need to ask yourself if you want all this digital nothingness or human connection. You won't get both the way you're going.
>>
>>19295827
If you subscribe to the multiverse and timeline thinking.. then yes.
>>
>>19295868
Nice generational gatekeeping anon, but I've been this way since way before I ever knew what a computer was or had a cell phone. One of the reasons for my social failure was the fact that I didn't have a cell phone and I couldn't text anyone like they all did together back in school.

"Get off the computer and go meet people"

Wow really great advice, that's extremely helpful. I'm going to fucking kill myself.

>How do I do X, I've been unable to my whole life and don't know how
>>Just stop doing Y and go do X
Are you actually mentally deficient or just an asshole? Maybe normie scumbags just don't understand.

I think I dun goofed

>Hang out with girl who is friend of friend
>Told she has a crush on me
>Awesome
>Take her out a few times and we enjoy ourselves
>Fuck the shit out of each other this past week
>This morning she’s holding my hands and we cuddle/kiss/play for a bit
>She asks me “So what happens now?”
>I say I’m not interested in relationships but I enjoyed company with her
>Send her home with Uber
>Cue shitstorm when I read my messages after work
>Everyone saying she was crying
>I’m a manipulative piece of shit
>I’m a scumbag

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
10 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
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>>19295558
You opened a box, fucked up the inside and then sent it back the store while asking for a refund.
Just admit you’re autistic and ask for forgiveness
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>>19295558
She's just fucking crazy, set her ass strait and then cut off all contact.
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>>19295568
>"start a relationship with someone your not interested in"
Yeah, that's a greeeeat idea.
>>
Apologize and say you have issues with commitment because you had a rough childhood or your dad didn’t love you enough or some shit.
>>
You did nothing wrong, she shoudl've communicated she wanted more than sex, she didn't, she assumed you were a mind reader.

I've been on both sides of this, if you don't communicate exactly what you want, this shit happens. Sucks for her, but she should've been explicit with what she wanted.

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I'll green text it.
>had depression for years
>went to church just for the heck of it
>got very involved in a group for over 2 years just because I was really attracted to a girl there
>only went out together once, and even though we usually got along great she suddenly started dating some other dude
>I stopped going to church, I left the group abruptly since I wasn't interested anymore because of this
A month passed. I became distant from my church friends (although I wasn't very close to them lately anyway) and don't really have other friends outside currently.
Then today:
>decided to go to another church just for the heck of it
>saw some really really good looking girl in the choir (that I've already met before last year, but only for a few minutes)
Should I start going to this new church? To be honest my only driving force would be to eventually date this girl, I think. But I'm worried I'll make the same mistake again (getting too obsessed with the girl, for nothing in the end). And although I feel a tiny bit empty without it, Christianity as a religion doesn't convince me 100%. I mean yeah maybe I go to this new church and meet a new group but I've met tons of Christians in the past and only a few seem like my kind of person, not sure if that's better than almost zero friends. And of course I'm not just assuming this girl will like me, she's probably out of my league.
This other church is having some reunion thing next Saturday but anyone's invited, should I go, just to see if I can get to know the girl a bit, and then decide what I do or is it a bad idea?
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>>19295653
Go to the party and show that you are interested in her and show confidence. Goes as far as asking her out. And churches aren't the best place to find a mate.

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Basically my best friend (we're girls) has this other close friend who she always invites along when we hang out. We also have a mutual group of close friends and this girl is in this circle.

I fucking hate this girl. She's incredibly rude to me and acts like I have a disease. If everyone leaves the table to have a smoke, and it's just me and her for a few minutes, she makes it super obvious she can't stand to be alone with me. She'll make a show of running after the others or always coincidentally needing the bathroom at that time. Same thing goes if there's a few friends in my car and I'm dropping everyone off, she'll insist she gets dropped off first even though her house isn't the nearest just so she's not alone with me. Last time when I went to sleep over at my friend's house and she was invited too, she asked my friend in front of me (as if I didn't exist) why I was there and giving an annoyed face.

I've taken her out so she didn't feel lonely when she had plastic surgery and was recovering, I've come to her birthday and given her nice presents, been very nice to her. We just don't have much to say to each other due to clash of personality, but the problem is she's rude and obvious about it whereas I hide it and am polite about it. I also think she's generally a bad person because whenever one of our friends has a problem she's never there for them. Like I've seen her act emotionless and leave when a friend of ours had a break up and was crying. She just does not care. She stopped being friends with my best friend for a year to hang out with more "fun people", then when she had a fight with them she came back to my friend.

The most annoying thing is my best friend defends her so hard so I don't say anything bad about her and pretend I'm ok. I can't get away from this girl because she's friends with all my friends and if I say something it makes the entire group awkward.
>>
seems like youre stuck between a rock and a hard place

if you say something, you risk alienating your best friend. if you do nothing, you have to keep putting up with the tagalong friends bs

it seems to me that if the tagalong friend had a fight with her 'fun' friend friend group, it stands to reason that she will eventually have a fight with your friend group. maybe just keep your cool and wait it out
>>
>>19295780
I don't mind ignoring her most of the time, what pisses me off is when she's directly rude to me when she says like "why is she here". It grinds my gears so bad. She's mouthy but people have said that the rare times I get angry I'm super scary. That's why I feel like if I say something bad it's going to end in me beating her up and the whole group I've known since high school getting awkward.
>>
>>19295808
learn to sass her back in a playful way when she says things like that, but never escalate or make the first move. you never want to get angry, because that gives her the opportunity to make you look unreasonable, uncool, out of control, etc. stay cool, roll your eyes, etc.

realize that she knows youre part of the group nucleus, and may be trying to bait you into doing something that will get you excluded from the group.

try to be perceptive and see how the rest of the group reacts when she says rude things. are they siding more with her or with you? if they're siding with you then you can call her out from a position of strength. but if theyre siding with her, you cant call her out because then you'd be disagreeing with the entire group, which is sure to further weaken your position.



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