How do you cope with a failed life in your mid thirties? For reference I'm turning 35 this year, have never experienced intimacy, lived with my parents till my early thirties, had a huge period of being a NEET, struggled academically (community college equivalent dropout) and currently struggle to hold jobs for more than a year, I'm a low earner. More subjectively (but accurately) I'm also highly unattractive.I'm just wondering how people kind of cope with this sort of existence beyond "lol drugs and alcohol". It's too much to fix at this point, being dumb as fuck and uneducated especially holds me back a lot obviously.
>>34278630>still kinda hurt from the coworker from another office who told me to stop bothering her a year agodamn what h appened there
>>34278593He has himself.
>>34278667Thats the worst thing
>>34278664there was this quiet girl in another officeI tried to do some small talk and suchSadly it seems I can't perceive human emotions correctly, and it seems she got more annoyed every time I talked to herShe finally asked me what my intentions were and told me that she was just trying to work and to please stop bothering herI got sad, cried at home, and stooped bothering her I tried to just greet her whenever we met by chance, but she just ignored my greetings, ran away or hide in the girls restroom.I "accepted" that she feels disgusted by me and also don't greet her anymore if I see her.I am the kind who usually only responds to greetings or greet acquaintances, but if someone ignores my greetings long enough, I stop greeting them at all.
>>34278587I already had to fix my diet and exercise for health reasons.I just can't figure out fashion or socializing and when I was in my 20s it was just back to back failures and humiliation rituals until around 28-29 when I just threw on hoodies and autism jeans everyday.
>be me>19 year old male>used to play source games>quit and have pretty much been offline since since i've intended to quit the internet completely and have zero online presence>had some fun moments over voice chat during late nights back then>kind of miss that>otherwise don't actually enjoy playing video games themselves and nothing on the internet interests me, i only want to go back for the social aspect>despite this i don't like most of the players on online games regardless and know actually good vc lobbies are rare>refuse to use discord for any reason>live in an urban area where i can just go out and talk to people irl>want to focus on real life anyways since i want a family somedaywhat do
Should I go to warped tour 2026?
fukkk yaaa goo man its gonna be fukkin siiqqqqq
No
>>34274432Those bands all sound terrible. Flogging Molly is the only decent band on the ticket.
>>34274432Yes, my country only has HxC and Heavy metal music festivals.
>>342785093oh3 and bvb are party kino tho
>Emotionally cheated on both girlfriends I had (never had sex with another girl, just wanted to see if I could get attention from other girls when the relationship wasn't going well)>Have memories of going out of my way to hurt people in small ways just to see their reaction>Have multiple discord accounts to fuck with people online or get new information out of them by pretending to be someone else>Keep tabs on people, save screenshots or proof of any wrongdoing just in case>Try to appear honest as much as possible, so that when I lie people believe me without any qualms>Try to mask by appearing nice, but everyone sees through it>Very loose morals, pretend to be a moralfag but I've probably broken my supposed values several times, like telling women I don't watch porn when I do>Hone in on people's insecurities and flaws >Even if someone has done good things for me, if they've done something to upset me I keep score and try to destroy them and list off all the things they've done wrong either to me in general>Get upset when people openly say mean things because they can get away with it >Don't really have any ambition in life>Despise being around people for long, I sometimes enjoy bringing up harsh topics just to lower the mood so people can feel like how I feel>Okay with using people>Genuinely wish harm on people who I've felt wronged me in some way>Hold grudges even if they apologizeComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34275106>>34275092>>34274964Lastly, it's hard because it comes with an existential crises. When you practice the opposites, you won't feel good. You won't feel bad, you won't feel much, if anything you may feel bored or annoyed. It will feel fake it may even feel like an insult or a liability to perform. The golden trick is this: Action is what defines reality, nothing else. You can do good things without feeling a single thing, you can do them while feeling the complete opposite. You already know this much, you had said you got good at pretending to be virtuous but only as a means of emotional camouflage. So you already know how to do it. But this time you do it with the objective of having zero ulterior motives besides doing them because it's hard. You practice them like a muscle. The more you do this the harder and harder it gets. You start to have that existential crises. Because they start to become real traits you start to realize you always had them, but they were charred to shit, shattered, and buried under immense baggage. All the things you went through in life, all the abuse and suffering, all the things you became numb to and normalized and stopped caring about they come back to life. You feel the pain of them again, as if you are that kid again, and the wounds all re-opened. The resurrection I spoke of is one where you will be kicking and screaming back to life. It's a very painful healing process. It feels like your mind is electrocuted, your veins are on fire and your bones are filled with acid. All the pain comes back at the same time and there will be a night where you genuinely beg for death. But if you see that through and come out of the other end, it's over, you win. Because what you would have done psychologically is remove a very old a rusty dagger out of your soul. Then things like empathy and innocence and hope and actually being able to smile without it being faked becomes real again. It's a mind fuck. But it is possible, brother
goran ti si be
>>34273958It seems that you have been sheltered from real world, in a comfy existence rounded with nice, kind humans that were easy prey and you never have to confront the consequences of your actions.You have never found real evil people, worst than you, people capable of hurting you in a significant way, and also allow you to see yourself mirrored on them.This kind of experience could make you reflect and change your attitude in society.Joining the military could help you improve your actions, or at least, be in a environment where your existence is objectively not a source of torment to others.
You just sound bored and like you don’t have your own hobbies so you just want to start shit with people. Find something worthwhile to take your time.
ur brain just developed this way because u probably learned these concepts (like morals and lying) in your own way instead of like the "good" people. you dont actualy care to be nice nor u care to be evil. you have trust issues because you think everybody is like you and that keeps you from building genuine relationships. ur not evil. u just have a lot of spare time. try to hold onto something. and in no way am i saying this to attack you. we are all like that. you think nothing maters because u dont have a life that matters to you.
What kind of business/job lets you be a digital nomad these days? Would like to travel and work instead of being glued to one spot/country. Ideally something that benefits from AI
consulting
>>34273693Are you this guy?:>>34269722
>>34273693I would post a link to your thread on >>>/trv/ or make a thread there about this topic. You want to go where the digital nomads hang out for advice on this topic. Personally, I think a job ANYONE could pick up instantly and get good pay for WFH is being a language teacher. Lie about about your "years of experience" and take a nice picture and advertise yourself on Fiverr or something. Good luck, OP
>>34273693>Something that benefits from AI I never used it for trading but even a decade ago a lot of people were using AI for things like daytrading.
>>34273693Ask /trv/
>be me, 33 year old guy>met wife in college; been married 6 years>1 kid, another on the way>early relationship was affectionate, felt loved and respected>over time stress ramps up (school/work), and she lost a parent unexpectedly>she resents that im addicted to weed and porn (i have since quit both)>she develops a medical issue that makes sex painful for her and kills our sex life>she develops insomnia, which she blames on me waking her up at night, so we end up sleeping in separate rooms>distance and resentment grows>arguments become more frequent>communication deteriorates>one night fight escalates>I yell>kick a door>she calls policeComment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34278163It is sadly common - one might almost say normal - for couples to fall in and out of love over time, perhaps in some sort of cycle. If a core of good will survives - and her willingness to start over suggests that - then there IS hope.It is quite likely that marriage counselors would suggest exactly what she does - starting over, in search of the romance that has faded. Counseling could help you both figure out just how to do that.
>>34278371No problem. Its not a shit test either, but itll feel like one. The emotions she has are real, but sith hormones it takes the emotions and magnifies the shit out of them. So for example lets say your wife is mildly annoyed at you for not cleaning up. She isnt pregnant: She just remains mildly annoyedShes pregnant: She is extremely unhappy and overwhelmed and fears you dont care about her because the dishes are dirtyBoth are sharing the root emotion: overwhelm. But hormones make it fucking crazy. So dont tell her she is wrong for the emotions, or that its a shit test, theyre real, but just magnified lol>It’s just tough for me because I really value words of affirmation, and she is not yet ready to offer them I guess…I hear you. She may surprise you with that later, my own wife did after i busted my balls for her during her pregnancy>I to get over my pride/ego related to traditional gender roles. The chud part of my brain resists because I feel like I am already doing so much by going to work while she stays at home, but I need to change that mentality.No doubt you work hard already, no question. And the gender roles are solid, I live by them too as a man. But when it comes to pregnancy, it goes out the window. Womans hormones go ape shit, and her body starts to exhaust her. She genuinely needs more help at home in this stage. Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34278400I am this anon>>34278501Just wanna say I agree with this guy. When she's pregnant you do absolutely everything.
>>34278501>>34278371Also about hormones, they magnify emotions as I said. They magnify all emotions. Not just negatives, positives too. Thats why I mean it when I say it: You do the chores, and she wont just be mildly reassured or happy. She will demand you go to the bedroom and fuck her senseless. My wife would maul the shit out of me and all I did was do the dishes and make her a small easy meal and tidied the living room. I got mauled, anon, taken to bed and sent to orgasm town by ferocity, and my wife is usually a timid woman, that night she was a fucking lionness mate, hormones are wild.Play them wrong and its bad times. Play it right and you will seem like a super god man to your wife during her hormonal shifting, Its a bit like surfing on rough seas. If you can catch the wave, you get a thrilling ride.
>>34278371Also have a funny woman moment
I always compare myself to the others.I started drawing a few months ago and i feel desperate each i see someone who's way better than me.It hits especially hard when the other artist is younger than me.Im a lazy bum who wastes all his time on forums,porn and mangas.I also have this inferiority complex at school, people learn and get things way easier and faster than me.I should work a lot to fill up the gap of talent with them but i don't do shit because im depressed of my lack of brains.Even outside i compare my looks to the others and i see all the tall attractive male with very cute chicks.Please help me :(
bump
To me, women always seem to look for partners that are doing well financially in order to protect their self interests, instead of doing stuff by themselves (like getting better paid jobs, taking care of their own economic status, ...). Am I right? If so, why do they do this?I'm always wary about this shit whenever I meet a woman that might be interested in me.. I was born poor but I'm not anymore. Still, I am stingy, I feel like shit whenever I have to spend too much money on useless shit. Does this say something about me? Does this mean I'm narcissistic or something?
>>34275021They want to pick a man who can financially support them and their future kids. It's not that different from how men want to date attractive women as they want their kids to inherit good looks.
>>34275021>If so, why do they do this?Quoting this straight from Female Dating Strategy:"We don't expect men to pay on dates - we make our own money. That being said, any man that refuses to pay is deemed unfit to be a romantic partner. Women have more to lose in romantic relationships (STD's, pregnancy, etc.) therefore, a man must show her that he can provide when times are tough. The only type of men that ask you to pay half are LOW market men going on tons of unsuccessful dates (resentful) or used to rejection (fuckboys/squares), therefore they want to stay cheapskate because they are not confident anything will come of it."
>>34277823this isn't about paying half in a date, you retard. this is about women crying about not being able to buy a house while not wanting to sacrifice their comfortable lives or taking opportunities to get themselves in the position of being able to buy a house.
>>34275021>>34278201actually, not just that.I live in a touristic area, and some of the women I match with through dating apps seem to expect me to invite them to stay here, because as soon as I ignore that conversation, they stop talking to me. while I'm not poor anymore, I still don't have my own place so I can't, but if I had it, I'd be wary of inviting complete strangers from dating apps as soon as I talk to them. or maybe I'm too fucking autistic, idk.
>>34275402>Right. Well, why are they like that?They're the weaker sex and sexual selectors of the species.
i lost my virginity last December with the love of my life. he is 8 years older than me and has been with many girls.its LDR and we cant have sex more than 7 days every three months. i was sloppy in a bad way. didnt know how to kiss. gave terrible bjs. didnt know how to ride his cock. he enjoyed that my pussy was tight but thats pretty much it. i also was really tense. i dont have a nice body, small boobs and butt, bad posture, thin, no hips. he likes Goth/Emo Latinas. he also sent me an of he likes (because i asked) and she was thicc, looked nothing like me. his crush is also thicc.he likes clowngirls. tried to do clowngirl makeup for him more than once and i felt just ridiculous. i dont understand how this kink works.im afraid i am terrible in bed and not his type. maybe he just likes me because i am nice, easy, inocent and cute. Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34273157What do you mean?
>>34273187thank you so much!
>>34271288also feels refreshing to hear that my opposite gender also is worried about sexual performance, kind of like me lol
>>34273195You know what I mean
>>34273204you're welcome :)
How do I stop wanting to be special? I always want to be the smartest, the most beautiful, the most talented. Being better than other people is very important to me.
>>34274526you can use it to your advantage, competitiveness is the thing that makes us keep goingembrace it and be better that the others, just don't be an ass about it and if you lose do better next time
>>34274526Narcissism is the shadow of Confidence. Both Narcissism & Confidence aim for the same goal: To be better.Narcissism however only craves to try to be better than others.Confidence on the other hand knows that it will be better, full stop. Not better than others, just better than the self of yesterday. Confidence only uses the self as the measure of growth. Narcissism relies on other people as a measurement of growth, that's why narcissism requires comparing itself to others to gauge it's own perceived value. Narcissism is what happens when someone wants to be confident yet lacks a strong sense of self to measure himself with, so it becomes twisted into narcissism.The narcissism should not be hated. After all it was your mind just trying to find a pathology to help yourself grow. So don't try to cease the narcissism. Instead, use it as a source of strength but repurpose it into a mold of confidence slowly over time. Use narcissism to develop a strong sense of self and rely on using others less and less over time.
>>34274634>>34274526Another way to think of narcissism is this: It's just molten egotism, liquid confidence. Wet cement that's meant to become a true solid and real ego and sturdy confidence. Understand that narcissism eventually becomes those things, it's your ticket to a real sense of self and solid confidence that will last a life time without effort soon enough. What gets narcissists into a lot of bother in life is the external processing part. Aka, the narcissist needs others to verbally acknowledge they are superior. If you can avoid that pesky feature, you can remain as narcissistic as you like without having to get into self sabotage, because that slows the process of internal growth down.
>>34274526Realize that wanting to be better than other people objectively makes you worse than other people. If you want merit, then be humble, gentle, kind, compassionate and patient. That's where merit comes from. Lacking those qualities makes a person worthless.
>girl at work>has been flirting with me for the the entire year in a half we've been working together>her and her friend are quitting at the end of the month>tells her friend not to tell me because she wants to tell me personally>tells me she's leaving and that she's really going to miss me, really likes spending time with me, etc. etc.>tells me to text her to let her know what's going on at work>her friend is constantly teasing her about me>she always giggles and acts coy>constantly says "we're gonna fight after work" and "I'm gonna fight you one day">always stands super close to me with a big smile on her face>one day we're joking with each other and I say "Fuck you", she stays quiet, I say "Just kidding haha" she says "That's too bad">following day she says she doesn't have any plans for Valentine's day>the following day (today) I ask her out>she says noI just have no words, I'm not necessarily heart broken or have my feelings hurt but just confused and annoyed that this bitch would spend that much time and energy flirting with me and then say no when I finally ask her out, she even said "Now that we won't be working together we can DEFINITELY fight ;)" and I give this bitch the chance to hang out so we can fool around and she says no, now I know why our ancestors used to beat women, completely justified.
>>34277707I was under the impression they couldn't date outside of their religion because it can lead to them being kicked out of the church or something, well then I guess I just fucked up.
>>34277748They can date outside of their religion. It depends on how involved they are, just like any religion, even typical Protestants and Catholics, if they're with a non-believer there will be some pressure to get them to convert, especially for marriage, but if she's not very involved and just goes to Kingdom Hall because that's what she and her family has always done then it's a non-issue.
>>34277700>she's also a Jehovah's witness.so, the bitch is crazy. got it.
>>34259202You should always say stuff like "Eh, it's complicated." and leave it at that.
>>34260989>can't argue against any points made so go search for typos insteadpathetic and small
Is my hair thinning or is this natural hair seperation?
Omfg man I'm sorry but that looks like a classic case of Ligma, see a doctor asap anon.
>>34274792you look cute I want to wash your hair and kiss your forehead
>>34274792Could be denser, use minoxidil locally
>>34274792chlorine dioxide
To anybody who has dealt with this before, how & in what way did you get over your first love as a young adult?I am 20 years old now and I turn 21 in August, I met her online when we was 15, she lived a different city almost 100 miles west from where i lived at & i was so into her i would make a drive to her every weekend, eventually we started living together at 16 and have been ever since.We got to live a good portion of our teenage lives together sharing stories and got to know each other unlike anybody else does so of course we both think this could last forever and the world will end if we ever lose each other.She has told me that she wishes she would have had more friends when she was still in school before we graduated & regrets not having a good social life, so we start going out downtown together meeting new people and making friends & traveling to places.Two days before Christmas I glance at her phone & notice pictures/flirty messages being sent to another person, so I ask her about it & she drops a bomb on me saying shes been having trouble finding herself & who she wants to be, and feels like she cant keep on putting in any effort towards a relationship.So after all what she told me, I still let her live at my place and sleep on my couch because i still love her and care for her and dont want to let go of her, but she does. and today she is grabbing everything of hers and leaving very suddenly, and this feels harder to cope with opposed to her telling me how she felt about me.It feels hard watching somebody you've loved & lived with for 4 years as a young person have to go. Now I feel stuck by myself now, nobody to talk to while i'm at home & wondering if she will be okay.How do I cope going through this? I've never felt such grief before, maybe I care too much for her? im not sure. anyways thanks /adv/
>>34278299It sucks, it hurts, and then one day it hurts a bit less. I know that feels impossible right now, like there's a dark shaddow looming over you that wont ever go away, but every cloud fucks off when they're out of rain.Spend some time with you, become the kind of man you wish you were and treat yourself the way you wish others would treat you.I'm sorry for the fortune cookie bullshit but that's really all there is to it. Weather the storm and treat yourself well, you'll be alright.
>>34278299It will hurt less with time. Talk to other bitches. Fall in love with another one to move on from the last one.
>>34278299Meditate daily on impermanence. The relationship would have ended in parting eventually, no matter what. Clinging is the cause of suffering, not the end of the relationship itself, so it's good to have had this opportunity to practice detachment.
I am extremely comfortable (high 6 fig in big city) and I still can’t make friends or get a gf. And I’m almost 28Literally out-earn majority of my peers.. and I can’t do make friends, majority is inheritance so I just have a bunch of free time, I guess money can’t even halo my autism The two guys I know irl are neets and don’t have these issuesAny suggestions? Do I just rent a friend at this point? Shit is pretty grim
>>34272706What do you do for a living anon?
>>34273180>I'm blue collar so the culture tends to have a lot of comraderyTell me more
>>34267478Your money should be less on your mind
>>34267478Clearly it’s more about who you are than what you haveFocus on improving that instead
>>34277831I can sum it up as "trauma bonding with the boys"You go through shit together and have some really bad days, but the guys you're with make it worth doing. There's also the silent understanding of the resentment around political correctness; we can still call eachother retards and have laugh while also holding respect for people who are legitimately delayed. A lot of guys are so used to working with new people that they just flat out skip the awkward friendly phase and jump straight to being themselves at their weirdest, so you learn quick who you gel with.I was very introverted and very nerdy before picking up a wrench, admittedly I still am but blue collar work really helped me come out of my shell. It woke up a switch in my brain, now I can turn the charisma on whenever I feel like it. I don't plan to fuck around with sparks gears and crawlspaces forever but I wouldn't trade away my time doing it for anything.
When did the healthcare system switch to printed doctor's notes? Aren't those really easy to alter via photoshop? Is that why opiod addiction shot up?
>>34276580No, doctors aren't being paid enough.So the write opioids for cash.I write around 10-20 prescription a months each for around $100.Which barely pay my rent.
>>34277627>pay my rent>doctorHow are you a doctor and poor? Also can you answer why they switched to printed prescription notes? Since that would be easy to alter
