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File: 1684692730854484.jpg (16 KB, 428x424)
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This is a thread for people who have and would like to recover from an unhealthy dependence on pornography, eroticism, or sexual imagery. Share your advice, your struggles, your solutions, and discuss strategies to get better.

Helpful links:
>Studies and research
https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/research/
>Practical effects of porn usage on the brain (4:25)
https://youtu.be/9qJHRvHU8IM
>Addiction science (3:06)
https://youtu.be/1Ya67aLaaCc
>Paid porn blocker with built-in accountability
https://blockerx.net/
>Sexual addiction help groups
https://saa-recovery.org/
>National addiction helpline
https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

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https://youtu.be/eoVkQDDNa0g?si=8vXCUJej0lVQtn4z

Pretty helpful and informative video, I like this channel
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>>30907918
if you are watching people fuck yes that's insane
but just looking at a lone woman i feel like isn't that insane. just go back to the regular old porn just a nice naked classy woman boom. they had that shit at barnes and noble in front of the kids nobody cared
>>
get a naltrexone prescription. take it for a few months. problem solved. works for overeating, alcohol AND tobacco/nicotine
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>>30907918
I don’t want to recover so I am leaving this thread.
>>
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Went to a prostitute last week and had no problems getting/staying hard but just couldn't cum.
Is this a porn issue? Was my first time so I'd expected to be done fast, but even after 70 mins I just couldn't do it and we ended it.
What do?

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Question for people with cPTSD...I also have it, will I ever be happy again?
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>>30927098
I’m 19 and it’s turned me into the biggest psychopathic narcissist on this planet, you may be wondering how I am self aware, well it’s because of post nut clarity, 20 minutes ago I destroyed my entire house because of how frustrated my life is and my feelings of chill will probably only last me another 30 minutes or so. I can’t live like this anymore
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>>30927142
Hahaha what

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What has your experience been like on here?
Im somewhat nervous.
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>>30919803
I joined an art group. People were nice, but it was boring. Most people were socially awkward and not people I would want to go to dinner with.
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>>30919803
Depends. Mostly shit.
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>>30919803
Garbage for everything, fuck reddit & it’s users for suggesting this piece of shit site
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>>30919803
Pretty good. Of course it depends on the meeting you're going to not the app itself.
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reposted bot thread. fucking horrifying, honestly.

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Got my first ever job, making $21/h in a very low cost of living area. Never give up anons.
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lessgo
>>
Hell yeah brother
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>>30926420
People pretty much know either their hourly wage if they arent salaried, or their annual salary. We just have a lot of hourly workers
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>>30923018
Based and bloomerpilled.
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>>30926420
You honestly can't comprehend the value of your time if it's broken down hourly?
>oi
>ave a listen ta dis den
>so i'm ova der atta office
>you know
>applyin for a new job as you do
>an when it comes time ta discuss pay
>dis daft bloke says e'll pay me 45 pound
>nah, mate
>dat's wot i said
>it's not a monf
>it's per OUR
>so i said he can keep is ours
>an i'll keep me fifeen-hundred a monf at da factory

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Forewarning, this post is long as fuck and will require multiple replies.

This post isn't just directed at myself, it's also a piece of my near decade of experience I'm sharing with you younger anons who desire a long, fulfilling relationship as much as I did. The mistakes I've made, the advice I have and overall the end result of this endless struggle. For some context, no, I'm not an incel and I'm not a part of any MGTOW community. I don't hate women, I just don't love them unconditionally.

>You can either love women or you can understand them, but you cannot do both.

>The juice often isn't worth the squeeze.

I never had that "girls are weird and icky" phase growing up. I pretty much liked them from the get-go, although I didn't understand them. As I got older in my late teens, the thought of having a relationship continued to manifest into something I couldn't ignore. At this time, however, I was completely naive to some truths about women and their hypergamous nature.

Then I was 18 years old, skinny fat with a chubby belly and neck, acne ridden face, socially retarded, only 2 close friends, hobbies included being alone and playing videogames.

>The things you think about, determine the quality of your mind.

Yeah, this was me. I know for a fact that this also hits close to home for many of you out there. I didn’t really think much about it at the time, I had just assumed that I would be loved by somebody "for who I am". This, obviously, was a huge mistake.

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>>30926076
stop writing and tell her
stop bumping this bad thread op
>>
I’d give OP’s essay a B-. He made a lot of points I agree with, although I must admit I was nearly ready to tab out when he mention being an active US Army contractor.
I emphatically agree with his assertion that you should “look without looking.” You must become yourself and really have a good handle on what your values and goals in life are before you have a chance of having a successful romantic relationship with someone.

I don’t, however, think women are mysterious automatons that tell only lies. They can be masterful manipulators in ways men could only hope to be, but they aren’t all like that, obviously.
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>>30924365
generic blackpill saga #743574328569
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>>30917962
I can't seem to stop loving a girl (the first one I've ever had) that dumped me after the three best months of my life, she had psychiatric problems, tried to kill herself... I didn't even liked her when I saw her first time. but her personality (at least in that golden age) was exceptional. Even she told me that she was not good for me, multiple times.
I saw all the red flags, and still went ahead and lowered my standards.

it seems like I'm just a fool that fell in love with the wrong person.
but no matter how hard I try, my mind can't get rid of her, although I know she's not a good candidate.
>>
>Delete Tinder
>Don't go to clubs
Works for me because I don't do either. I already realized I wouldn't like anyone who goes to those places. My problem is striking up any conversation in public. I hardly have errands to run and when I am in a store, it's go get the thing, pay, and get out. I don't start conversations with strangers when I'm in line either. Mainly because I wouldn't want anyone bothering me when I'm out and about doing stuff and no idea what to even say. I strongly dislike small talk. I'm 30, skinny with some good looks, still a virgin because I've been that guy who only goes to work and games and it took me until 25 to even try to group socialize and Covid fucked that up for me. I don't know if I even care about my friends, so how am I supposed to find a woman to care about? It all feels so fake.

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Anyone know what this is and how to get rid of it?

Just got my hair cut and noticed this. Idk how long it’s been there. Is it something I should be concerned about / see a doctor about?
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>>30927024
It's probably a birthmark or mole. As always, 4chan is not a substitute for a medical professional.
>>
>>30927024
Herpes
>>
>>30927024
You, my friend, are fucked.
Haha just kidding it's a mole thing. They can come and go and everyone has them and we get more as we age and they are harmless. But if a mole grows see a doctor.
>>
>>30927024
If it's bigger than a eraser head on a pencil you should see a doctor and get their opinion.
>>
you don't have to see a doctor if you're not a pussy you can just work your nails under those and pinch them off

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>What is /htgwg/?
How to Get Women General is by men, for men, about women, so bring all of your questions about getting and dealing with women here. Some anons on this site actually get laid, and some of those even want to help. If you're trying to meet and date women, then this is the place to ask questions, seek advice, and share experiences. We know how hard it can be. We got you bro.

>What is /htgwg/ not?
These threads are NOT for whining, moping, incels, volcels, MGTOW, hopelessness, or demoralization. We're all aware that meeting and dating women is hard these days, and even harder for some, but /htgwg/ is for men trying to overcome the challenges. IGNORE the posters who complain, who have given up, or who insist that there's nothing they can do. This site has other boards and threads that they can fuck off to.
BE SMART: Spot the bait, don't reply, and DON'T WASTE TIME ARGUING WITH THEM!

>How to ask for advice
Context is important: be more specific than "This girl ghosted me, why?" We can't help if we don't know the situation, so try to provide as much (useful) info as possible ("I was at the bar, this chick was checking me out..."). What's your relationship with the girl? How long have you known her? Any conversation screenshots? Etc...
Don't forget to ask an actual question.

>Books and Resources
1. "Models", "No More Mr Niceguy", both at: https://ufile.io/f/jrw9j (expired?)
2. "Mystery Method" at old pastebin: https://pastebin.com/cMHcY4dc
3. "The Pussy" at: https://z-lib.is/book/the-pussy-1

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>>30926918
Thanks for the advice. Hopefully there will be no drama.
>gender studies
Psychology, actually. Doesn’t make it much better though. But unfortunately I don’t get to pick my classes next year. If things go bad I might still be forced to interact with her.
I’m hoping for a clean breakup at the end, however unlikely it may be.
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>>30926946
>after misreading her intentions
Such as?
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>>30927134
I thought she was giving me signals from the time we first met (looks from across the room, laughing/smiling just a little too much, etc), but she was just being friendly and wasn't looking for more (or I fucked up and used the "date" word too soon). Friendship wasn't ruined, so I didn't fuck up that badly.
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>>30927159
>looks from across the room, laughing/smiling just a little too much, etc
>but she was just being friendly
>Girl I’m interested in does the same things
>but she was just being friendly
Oh fuck me.
>>
>>30927166
>Oh fuck me.
I am a retard with zero hand holding experience. Do not compare your life/situation to me, as I probably saw shit that wasn't there.

19 year old guy btw
asocial, don't talk to anyone in college
i assume most people actually don't even know about my existence but whenever i do run into interactions with other people or hear other people talk, it's always who dates who, who fucked who, this and that

i am too depressed, weird, ugly and asocial but i feel an immense sense of dread when the topic is brought up but also when my parents ask me when i'll get a girlfriend, so uh
should i just fuck a prostitute or something to get it out of my system?
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Losing your virginity will take the edge off but it won't be a game changer, you'll still feel like an awkward outsider
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>>30923741
I wasn't KHH but I was a virgin and when I turned 21 I went on a week long escort binge and I can say that it actually helped. Firstly, the first chick I got was great both looks and teaching wise and then I tried some more and wasn't that impressed and after that I stopped caring about getting laid that much because it didn't mean anything unless it was someone you gave a shit about. Probably like a year and a half later I got laid organically as well. It definitely removes some of your incel energy but I can also see how it might not work for everyone
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>>30923228
maybe, but honestly most people in college don't really care unless they're insecure themselves. My advice is to join some clubs on campus (maybe a gaming club if you enjoy that or whatever else interests you.)

Also, as others have mentioned, go to the gym. That and getting some sunlight so you don't look super pale and pudgy will make you look more "normal." Do those things, and don't feel so self conscious when talking to others and you'll probably make friends. You'd be surprised how open normies in college are to making friends, even with people that seem weird. Just be pleasant to talk to and you'll be fine.

Also, my advice with massive lecture style classes is to pay attention and see what people start showing up in the same classes as you. That will give you a conversation starter. I also have to imagine that the huge lectures classes have TA led discussion sessions with smaller class sizes. That's a good opportunity to meet new people.
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>>30925050
clubs don't exist here but i guess workshops and shit do
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>>30925050
clubs don't exist here but i guess workshops and shit do
imma go to the gym and ride my bike and go outside, sounds like a good idea
large classes are just 200 students in the same room together
smaller ones are like 20-30 people and i already know all their names, faces and who they hang out with but i'm sure they don't know me

I have a porn addiction and it's ruining my life. I can't spend a day without looking at porn and km addicted to paying for it as well via Onlyfans, fansly, etc. Idk what to do anymore, every time I try to stop the itch comes back. I'm so fucking pathetic
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>>30927081
>and km addicted to paying for it as well via Onlyfans, fansly, etc.
Have you fallen down into findom?
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>>30927081
Write down a list of effects of porn in your life, both good and bad. Eg spending money means you can't afford...

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My attention span has deteriorated so much that I quite literally will watch youtube videos at 1.5x speed while switching 4chan tabs every second while holding one hand on my dick, cracking my fingers every 30 seconds and pacing around every 5 minutes. When I sit down to actually focusing on something, I lose focus in 30 seconds. How do I actually overcome this?
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>>30925531
LMFAOOOOO, same, the answer is, probably human contact, and less screen time, to bad im an irredeemable socially inept retarded lover who literally nobody wants to associate with, so I hope with just endless doomscrolling,.I hope my afterlife is at least peaceful
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>>30925531
i haven't watched youtube in over a week
cut it cold
>>
Step 1: pack lunch
Step 2: find quiet place nearby like forrest or public park
Step 3: go there
Step 4: literally do nothing other than just sitting and looking around, eating your lunch, looking at the wind blowing the leaves etc
Step 5: go home when you have something you need to do or when you think it is enough for the day.

You get the idea. Of course you dont have to do exactly what I said, but it is the essence that counts. That is, the essence of slowing down and removing yourself from constant stimulation. The only way you build your attention span os by using it and this is just one way. It will of course be boring as hell in the beginning, but as it gets better, so does your attention span.

Going to the library to read is also great. The main thing is just to remove the constant stimulation and sticking with your these boring things as your attention span gets better.

Hope this all makes sense.
>>
>>30925531
You need a strong stimulus that forces you to concentrate. For me this is people. I like people and feel really lucky having to get to socialize with a girl I like. You are focusing too much on things that leave you unsatisfied which leaves you in this adhd addict spiral.
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>>30925531
unironically go to the doctor

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I am middle class and my gf grew up in a trailer park. She's loyal and well mannered despite her upbringing. Recently I had an exgf send me a text message asking if we could get back together. I ignored the message but showed my gf.

The next day I had to pick her up from the jail because she went over my ex's place to go fight her for cheating on me (she is irritated that she broke my heart) and trying to win me back. I'm upset because it's a really a trashy thing to do, on the other hand I'm flattered she threw hands for me. She's 26 and I feel like she should have outgrown stuff like that. I want to settle down and get married and I don't know if that's a huge red flag.

I'm also thinking about apologizing or making my gf go over and apologize as well. I think we should both do it.
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>>30926492
Apologizing isn't bad. Trying to make your girlfriend apologize is bad. If it's done, it needs to be done of her own volition otherwise it's meaningless. It also establishes a precedent that the relationship is going to be your way or the highway going forward which is going to cause eventual resentment in someone very clearly used to doing things her own way. Talk to her about it if you like but if she declines, leave it alone. If need be, apologize to the Ex on your GF's behalf and just tell the Ex not to contact you again, and probably don't show her any further communications from the Ex.
>>
That sounds based ngl

Many people nowadays think they can get away with everything because they never took a fist in the face
>>
Anon please tell me how did you find a diamond like her ?
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>>30926517
This. All.
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>>30926422
Based woman
>>30926440
>>30926517
Also based, excellent advice
/thread

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How do I ask a girl her body count without sounding like a jerk
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>>30925901
Ask her how loyal she's been in past relationships.
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>>30926034
unless she is higger than 20
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>>30926156
without*
>>30926163
i ask her and she only had one bf
in hs so idk if she fucked or not
i ask her if it was "serious" she said yes, so i assume they did fuck or sum. i cant dude i swear, just to think i would kiss the same lips she used to slurp dick makes me wanna puck, that's why i always btfo all my female relatives when they want to kiss me, shit is nauseous
>>
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>>30926156
Women are more than a sentient fleshlight, you know
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>>30925901
You don't. They'll lie regardless - it's simply their nature. Just ask if she's clean before goin raw - most girls are honest about that at least.

Women will eventually let it slip the ball park of how many dicks she's taken.

Don't worry about it - just assume it's 20+ and accept she's a undercover slut.

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How do I deal with being gay? It's against my religion and I've tried everything to make myself straight, but it doesn't seem to work. I can't get men out of my head.

Can I be both a Christian and gay? I feel so lost. Any anons with advice?
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>>30925675
Based. Volcels are legends.
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>>30924235
This is one of the many challenges that God has brought upon you. If you have yet to do anything physical with a guy then you're still "straight". You can be sexually attracted to anyone and stay in the clear without committing sodomy. God knows you better than anyone, even yourself.
t. religious guy who's started feeling bi (porn started it)
>>
>>30924499
>by that it means to everyday pray for forgiveness for your gay thoughts and to not date men and to not have sodomy
>Christianity is about battling sin everyday, you are worried you are doing a sin(being gay)
being gay isn't a sin. only the sodomy is a sin
>>
>>30924235
religion is a fake mechanism to cast obedience on non-intelligent people. i mean, you will go to heaven bro, trust me and suck that dick.
>>
>>30924235
That is a woman.

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So im actually approaching and trying to get with women but so far I've been successful with fat bitches. It helps to practice, I'm trying to get a relationship.

Rn my way of interacting is Instagram dm-ing and meeting them through friends (because im still a pussy doing cold approach to random). Recently, I msg this girl and I decided to msg on her art account and complement her work and we had a convo about it. I think its going pretty well, she replying with long sentences and liking my messages. And then she stopped talking for two days and I assumed she found me boring, then comes back today and liked my replies and replies again with long replies.

I'm confused because if I was a bore, she would've just not replied or starting with reply with shitty answers. My strat rn is play it casual and then try to arrange a coffee chat to try to know them in-person because im not trying to have someone like me through messaging. But im not sure, if I should still try to chase that chat or just say what I want.
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>>30927088
Sometimes people get busy with life and cannot be replying on their phone daily. May as well try to set up the coffee date and see how it goes and you can decide if you want to keep going from there.

I want to stop being a bitch. I've been thinking about becoming a copywriter for a year, but I've only made 80 stupid dollars.

I know that this is happening because I don't have the mental resilience to face life. I'm just 20; I'm young, but I still want to change it as soon as possible.

Being a weak-minded individual for this long is making me depressed. I thought I'd have bought something great for my parents by now, but nothing has happened, and I feel so sad.

How can I stop being a bitch and man the fuck up? Is it just as easy as doing things I don't want to do? Will it really ever get easier?
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>>30924153
>How can I callous my mind?
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>>30924153
Didn't the guy on the pic (Goggins) have two failed marriage and abandoned one of his sons?
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>>30925748
He was just making his kid and ex wifes extra hard. So they can STAY HARD and CARRY the BOATS
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>>30924153
There's not a lot of money to be made as a copywriter any more, and it's going to go down to almost nothing soon. This is one of the areas where AI has already genuinely been able to replace most of the human work. It's definitely time to look for other ways to make a bit of money.
>>
>>30925748
>>30926041
There's nothing inspiring about Goggins. He's a masochist who uses pain to run away from his mental problems.


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