[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [s4s] [vip] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Home]
Board
Settings Home
/adv/ - Advice


Name
Options
Subject
Comment
Verification
4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
File
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.
  • AdBlock users: The default ruleset blocks images on /adv/. You must disable AdBlock to browse /adv/ properly.
  • Are you in crisis? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at +1 (800) 273-8255.

05/04/17New trial board added: /bant/ - International/Random
10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
06/20/16New 4chan Banner Contest with a chance to win a 4chan Pass! See the contest page for details.
[Hide] [Show All]


[Catalog] [Archive]

File: grief-and-loss.jpg (83 KB, 582x328)
83 KB
83 KB JPG
I know it's pointless to speculate on this stuff, but I guess emptying it out helps.

I was raised in a catholic home with an extremely protective mother (and complicit father), who still is, despite the fact I'm 23. she made me too shy, scared to even go out on my own or do anything besides 'innocent' things in fear of getting in trouble, facing punishment and 'doing the wrong thing'.

while I guess it seemed ok at the time, I'm now realising I probably missed out on a lot of freedom and fun stuff teens get up to.

Maybe it's stupid to think like this but I wonder if I'd be 'happier' or a different person if I maybe had a less restrictive upbringing.

I also went to an all high boys school which probably severely affected my development in regards to girls (despite being good looking) and didn't lose my virginity until 21.

now I feel like just sleeping around a lot and doing stupid, free, fun things to make up for what I didn't do when I was younger. i didnt really do all that much maybe getting drunk at parties but i still always played the 'good boy' role. is this is a bad way of thinking? and any advice/thoughts?

thanks
2 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
Bump
>>
>>18831541
>now I feel like just sleeping around a lot and doing stupid, free, fun things to make up for what I didn't do when I was younger
>is this is a bad way of thinking?
Yes, it absolutely is. While your parents being overly restrictive wasn't ideal, it was still preferable to a life of hedonism and immorality. That's not kid stuff, it is just plain stupid, and not in the innocent kind of way.

Innocent stuff would be like clogging a high school toilet as a prank and then getting busted for it. It's stupid, yes, but it's in the nature of youthful fun and doesn't carry life destroying consequences. If you want to goof off, you can still do that to an extent, and it's not like you're doomed to be a wageslave your whole life. If you try to live frugally, you should be able to save at least something towards a dream of yours. Assuming Goldberg and Silverstein don't get to your shekels first, that is, the economy being in its current state.
>>
>>18832163
What's wrong with hedonism? I work hard and I'm achieving most of my goals
>>
>>18832369
That guy is very anti-sex for whatever reason. Whatever you're in to is fine, within reason of course.
>>
>>18832829
Well I wouldn't do anything dumb like get stds or knock a girl up

File: IMG_4527.jpg (80 KB, 610x458)
80 KB
80 KB JPG
Uhm, i need your help /adv/.

My husband just sent me a vid of him stroking his hard cock from work out of the blue. I have zero idea how to respond to that... do i like, send one back? With what?
5 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>18832677
or better yet send him this:
"quit dicking around and get back to work. Those bills ain't gonna pay for themselves."
>>
>>18832677
Sounds like a good plan. Thanks for the help, anon.
>>
Fuck the pool boy and send him the video
>>
>>18832570
I would send him this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPNhWtFoz88

No context.
>>
>>18832688
>quit dicking

File: fuck.jpg (628 KB, 2450x1378)
628 KB
628 KB JPG
I can't feel hunger.

>be me
>22
>was obsessed with trying to look like male fitness model
>forced self to eat same bland/healthy foods to gain lean muscle
>started to resent eating, developed unhealthy obsession, eating became over hour-long process
>refused to eat out with friends because gains were more important

Around summer of 2016 is when I started noticing that my desire to eat started to decrease, and up until now I can go several days without eating, but haven't because I miserably force myself to eat 3 meals a day.

To put you in my shoes...i don't get any growling sensation in my stomach or have a craving to eat any foods. When I look at food, even the foods I normally loved, It just looks like a nonnegotiable object. It's as if my brain de-registered hunger and food from reality.

I think this is a psychological issue and may be characterized as a form of an eating disorder, but I've been able to maintain a healthy bodyweight of 155 pounds at 5'7"; I lift almost everyday and occasionally do cardio but I'm not making any progress because of my eating habits.


Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>
Go see a doctor, you FAGGOT!

I hope you maintain a healthy lifestyle going forward.
>>
>>18832831
You've probably fucked your body by not eating properly and now your body has a natural aversion to food. This is why I think its important when you are eating healthy to actually make healthy foods that taste good. Its really not that difficult to do unless you're a shitty cook. I'd do that going forward, look up some recipes online.
As far as your current situation I'd see a doctor, he may be able to prescribe you something to help with the appetite issues. If you want to avoid the doctors I have heard that weed helps your appetite. I personally don't understand how because I just get paranoid and don't want to eat but it may be different for you.

File: cuphead.jpg (21 KB, 499x499)
21 KB
21 KB JPG
Hey all
My boyfriend is a tried, true, deeply rooted nihilist.
He means well, and tries 'to not think about it too much' to keep himself from spiraling into the depression that comes with it.
I knew this well before we were together, and I still love and accept him regardless of psychological standing (im not all there myself lol)
But I need something to tell him aside from agreeing, but proceeding to tell him I love him anyways.

The biggest hurdle for me when he opens up about this, is the prospect of our reality being a simulation. Recently he came to me with a dilemma: If we are in a simulation, and everything we know of is fabricated, then all my emotions, wants, needs, etc. are false and are only in place as robotic pushes to continue humanity purely so a higher being that fabricated us can see what their own existence means, why continue to do anything? Why pursue the social pressures to be a good person, or to do great things, or to push humanity onward by caring at all about it, when it is all for naught?

He is not religious, and neither am I, so any prospect of god or spirituality doesn't help

even goofy shit would help to be honest, some rebuttal that gets his mind off of it. Last night we delved into the shit-show that is world politics and how the thing running the show is a fucking memester incarnate. And that worked well enough.

tldr; goofy or serious rebuttals to extreme nihilistic thoughts
38 replies and 4 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
File: diogenes.jpg (55 KB, 500x453)
55 KB
55 KB JPG
>>18832671
>Stoicism.
Stoicism literally bred the best philosopher the world has ever known.
>>
"nihilism is not sexy"
and leave him if he disagrees. Don't waste your time trying to fix someone.
>>
>>18832491
>god isn't real

do you have a single fact to back that up ?
checkmate atheists
>>
Just watch this a few times.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmHXYhpEDfM&list=PL9boiLqIabFhrqabptq3ThGdwNanr65xU&index=1

When you think you got it, watch the rest of the playlist
>>
>>18831950

I think the term nihilism gets thrown around causally too much.

As other posters have pointed out the term has a more specific philosophical meaning connected to people like Nietzsche and Kierkegaard.

In casual conversation calling something becomes something of a catchall to describe a variety of other perspectives such as atheism, anomie, apathy, and cynicism.

I don't really understand how the prospect of reality being a simulation is an issue from the perspective of nihilism. It makes no difference whether reality is a simulation.

The distinction I like to make is that reality is intrinsically meaningless, as in meaning is a human construct interrelated to language. To me that is a liberating thought, because it allows you to consider reality as intrinsically neutral outside of human interpretation.

Also your BF sounds like an edgy loser with nothing insightful to say about the human condition.

The proper rebuttal is "so what? "

i spilled a glass of wine on my laptop, its basically fucked but i want to recover the ssd or hdd content, how do i do this? i cant take it to the shop because of paranoia.
3 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>18832782
>i cant take it to the shop because of paranoia.
Is your hard drive full of pizza or something?
If you don't have experience with computers I'd just take it in. Every time I try to fuck around with my electronics something ends up fucked up.
>>
>>18832810
im guessing it wont just connect and open like a usb, will it? do i have to go into the initial commands/menus?
_
>>18832812
just some porn really, and i overeating?
>>
>>18832816
am*
>>
>>18832816
It should, though you might have to set it up in the BIOS. Honestly, if it's for some porn and you're not too keen with computers (it's a lot easier than it seems t b h), then take it to a store but I think it would be better to try yourself.
>>
>>18832816
>just some porn really, and i overeating?
Pizza is a euphemism bro.
Unless you're a pedo or have sensitive nude pics of a girlfriend or something I wouldn't worry about it too much. I'm sure computer guys see that shit on peoples computers all the time.

File: 1382440198269.png (98 KB, 500x444)
98 KB
98 KB PNG
>Legitimately tested IQ of 128 (97th percentile)
>NEET
>Live in America
>No car
>No cell phone
>Live with mom
>Can't even get a job at a supermarket working minimum wage (only job in walking distance of me)
>Can't get a job anywhere else because I have no car
>Not eligible for any form of government welfare

Mom makes $70k a year, and despite making more than 80% of American workers, she never has money because of immense debt from over a decade of retarded financial decisions, like living off credit cards, taking out a second mortgage, not selling the house and moving somewhere cheaper, and not accepting government welfare she was eligible for, which has led to a bankruptcy. Her bi-weekly paycheck is instantly sucked up by bills and debt payments, she often goes over a week with literally $0, not being able to even buy food.

Sure you can say it's her fault for making these decisions, but she's just a woman, they took advantage of her like a child, it's these rich piece of shit Jews that trick dumb people into accepting loans with insane interest, knowing they can't pay them, and creating a never-ending stream of amortizations. You might end up paying $80,000 on that original $20,000 of debt.

(cont.)
11 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
Californian here, the places that got burned down had history of near-annual fires. If people refused to move it was their problem. Also, by your logic, Texans and Floridians too got rained down by your God for something he didn't like. Makes Him a malevolent God by your logic. oooOOoo now won't that be calling His name in vein? either that or He don't care. oooOOooo
>>
>>18831469
>I am more intelligent than the vast majority of people
You're like a fat girl bragging about how big her tits are. You may have the ability, if that's not a lie, to learn easier but you're dumb as a brick.
>>
>>18832691
Uh, so wrong.

The majority of the napa valley burned (I know, I am literally in the middle of these fires). Tell me the last time the napa valley burned? History of fires my ass.
>>
it's funny because IQ is usually equated to "street smarts", the ability to think on the fly, but you don't seem to be able to do that

>no car
get a bike off craigslist for $10
>no cell phone
pay as you go is pretty cheap, but you don't even really need one
>live with mom
that's a pro in your broke ass situation, be thankful for the free food
>can't get only job within walking distance
some people commute two hours to and from work

no sympathy for burnouts that never had a backup plan, or even a primary plan
>>
>no car
That's a positive. Cars are expensive--both to buy and maintain. Get a bike for short distances and a bus pass for longer ones.
>>no cell phone
You can get a basic smartphones for $150 that has 80% of the functionality of an iPhone. You can get cheap service starting at $15/month from MintSim or you can pay as you go for a couple of bucks a month.
>live with mom
Yeah. Keep doing that until you yourself earn 70k.
>can't get jobs
Keep asking at the local grocery store. Bother the manager every day. They'll cave eventually. Otherwise, use that bike/bus pass and get a job elsewhere.

What would people think of a 21 year old guy and a 17 year old girl who started going out? I know a girl who is a high school senior, and she's a really wonderful person, and I really respect her, and I think she likes me too, and she might go out with me if I asked, but I don't know how it would look. What would her friends think? Her mom and siblings like me, but I don't know if they'd like me asking her out.

I really don't think I'm trying to take advantage of a naive girl, I really do think of her as an equal, and sex isn't on my mind at all. I just think she's amazing, and I think we could have something together.
46 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>18832175
>calling out spergs on 4chan
You're a big guy, aren't you?
>>
>>18832199
>You're a big guy, aren't you?
I am. in fact a female on top of that :P
>>
Im in a similar situation. Shes still in third grade but she is just too cute. So im going to make her my gf before another guy beats me to it
>>
>>18832239

Stop feeding the troll. He comes in every thread and tries to derail it with /pol/ garbage. If you just ignore him he'll wander off to spread his poison on some other thread.
>>
File: 1508024345067.jpg (98 KB, 640x480)
98 KB
98 KB JPG
Do it - or you'll become a sad fuck who stalks her social media every night, wishing that were you she was posting about.

File: pics 001.jpg (12 KB, 190x137)
12 KB
12 KB JPG
How do i get over failure?
>be me
>21
>Doing 4th year in College (Engineering) but won't be finishing this year due to failing heaps of papers
>if everything goes well i'll be finishing December 2018
i feel suicidal, like a failure even though people around me are telling me it's no big deal? I feel like they are just laughing behind my back how much of a fucking loser i am.
>>
>>18832646
When ever I feel suicidal I remember just how much money was invested into me. Even if I fail college, and don't get a job, I will always have the chance to succeed in life. So just remember how selfish it would be to throw away all if the time and money that went into raising you. That tends to help me at least.
>>
File: anti suicide gf.png (11 KB, 401x402)
11 KB
11 KB PNG
>>18832646
It will be ok.
>>
>>18832646
I wanted to be an engineer. Unfortunately I know I'm not very good with math, and I didn't want to rest all my laurels on something that, to me, appeared to be too much of a gamble. So I went into IT with a minor in Computer Science instead. Provided that things workout there, I may go back and try and make a go at Electrical Engineering later, but we'll see.

There have been plenty of times where I feel like a failure at life, like maybe my parents (or anyone for that matter) made a mistake by investing time into me. However, two things always kept me going:

1) The poster here, >>18832667, is right. I don't know where I heard this, but someone once said, 'So long as you're breathing, there's always a chance. But when you're not, then what you always thought was impossible becomes completely so.' So I always remember that as long as I'm alive, there are always opportunities to do and be better, and if I were to die, then there is no more opportunities, no more learning from my mistakes.

2) Missing out. There are plenty of things I'd be missing out on. For one, if I had killed myself when I was 13, I'd never witness an Avengers movie. My 13 yr old self would never have thought in his wildest dreams he'd ever see Marvel movies become so big. He also never would've gotten laid, got married, been decent at picking up chicks, tried drugs, had kids, had crazy times traveling, etc.You get the idea.

I know this will sound very cliche, but life really is what you make it. Almost every path you take in life is hard in some way, so you have to take the path that lines up with what you personally value the most. I value casually strolling through life, and that's why I'm going through IT instead of Engineering.

Hope this helps!

File: head.jpg (39 KB, 395x395)
39 KB
39 KB JPG
Should I fuck a big tittied fat girl? She's not obese or anything but I don't know if I'll like it or not. Ive been blue balled for a while.
>>
Do it, send pix

File: FB_IMG_1508024907415.jpg (33 KB, 409x394)
33 KB
33 KB JPG
Hey /adv/. How does signing up for health insurance work, and what do I ask for when I want them to check everything? I haven't been tothe doctor in years
>>
>>18832104
You are confusing two things.

You don't just "sign up" for health insurance. You have to buy it, just like home or car insurance. Even Obamacare, which is the cheapest, costs something. Google "health insurance [your state]" for lots of ads, and compare.

Many people are automatically enrolled through their employer, union or university. Check to see if you are.

As a separate question, whether you are insured or not, you can make an appointment with a doctor and ask for a "complete physical". Either you'll pay for it or your insurance will.
>>
>>18832104
>>18832136

Depending on how young he is he may still be covered under his parents as well.
>>
>>18832140
I'm 24.
>>
>>18832104
Most health insurance companies don't check for shit. The ones who do ask you questions over the phone.

As for "checking for everything," you just go and get a physical at the doctors. Shy of that, you're gonna want a Full Body CT Scan. Get ready to pay thousands for that, without any help of insurance, unless the doctor says you need it.

File: vehk.jpg (99 KB, 960x960)
99 KB
99 KB JPG
I'm going to be starting a job at a data center soon. It's my first job and I'll be working weekly rotating shifts of 7-15, 15-23 and 23-7. I'll only have this job for a year as I'll be going to university afterwards.
I'm quite worried about the implications for my sleep and health. Can any anons give good advice about how to cope with shift work?
>>
>>18832689
Sleep, work, fap, repeat.
>>
>>18832689
If you dont like it try to find another job. That sounds terrible, but most of our early jobs are. Don't worry you're literally young as fuck and yeah there's way no that is going to be a pleasing job. I'm sure it's going to be all foreigners.

If you dont like it, and I think you wont just apply to other jobs asap and accept them. It's better to work at Mcdonalds and be happy then work in a data center and be miserable

File: IMG_4538.jpg (109 KB, 496x384)
109 KB
109 KB JPG
I've been on therapy for 2 years for depression and stuff. Half a year ago my doc said that he thinks i'm stable enough to get off meds and stop therapy.
Now i'm starting to feel those familiar depressed stuff creeping up on me again. Should i conact my therapist right away? It's not THAT bad yet, but winter is coming and i don't want to get in too deep before reaching out for help.
Not sure if i'm over reacting or not and need some outside perspective.

The things i noticed:
>barely any energy
>want to just stay in bed all day
>chores keep getting laid off
>no motivation to take care of myself
>appetite is vanishing
>shitty mood 24/7
>sleeping bad
>want everyone to "leave me alone"
>sexdrive has vanished
>not positive about future even thought it looks rather bright from subjective viewpoint

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>
Don't use depression as a crutch for being lazy. It might get rid of some of the guilt now but will lead to a shitty life full of depression later on. Put some effort into getting out of the rut your in. Focus on getting the right amount of sleep so you don't cry over stupid shit
>>
>>18832739
I'm not just lazy, i know that. I've had my shit together the last half year and was very diligent. I'm not one to try to get out of this the easy way with "muh depression".
I also usually really love to be on top of chores and have a spotles apt. The past has shown that me not taking pride in cleaning my shit is the first sign of a not very good phase.
I'm trying that. But it takes a LOT more effort than it used to just a few weeks ago. That's something i won't just ignore.

File: 1496168230432.png (1.79 MB, 1232x1212)
1.79 MB
1.79 MB PNG
So there is this cute blonde girl from college which i developed a huge crush on
We started together last year and are now in our third semester (same major)
We already had some short conversations in the past and she knows my name
Last month i did a job at my college and my crush's best friend did the same job so we got to know each other which might be helpful in getting closer to my crush
But i am afraid of the possibility of her having a bf because i see her texting a lot during lectures even early in the morning

So how can i go on?
Should i ask her best friend if the seat next to her is free or is this beta and should i just greet her and sit down next to her?
And should i wait until my crush mentions her bf or should i ask her when i get the chance?

File: 1499185385735.jpg (292 KB, 1920x1080)
292 KB
292 KB JPG
My girlfriend jumped on the #metoo train on facebook, but she hadn't ever mentioned being harassed or assaulted before. Should I ask her about this or leave it?
11 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>18832683

The #metoo thing isn't just about sexual assault, it's also about sexual harassment, though? It sounds like neither of you even knows the difference.
>>
>>18832299
>Should I ask her about this or leave it?

Having had experience with a lot of women who were:

She'll tell you when (if) she's ready.

If she was just harassed, then maybe she'd be more open to talk (aka bitch) about it.

But if she was full blown assaulted, that can be a landmine that she'd rather just have left alone. If she wanted to talk to you about it, she probably would. And that's her decision to make because it's something that has to do with her and her own emotional comfort, has nothing to do with any sort of trust you share.

People are entitled to having certain parts of their lives private; even--maybe especially--between partners. You can't force someone to reveal or relive that kind of shit 'til they're ready to.

What you gotta understand is that a lot of times, what's terrifying about this shit wasn't being physically violated (don't get me wrong, that's definitely part of it) it's usually more that they're put in a position where no matter what they did or tried, how desperate they felt, they were completely and utterly powerless to do anything. Having absolutely no choice or a say in what was happening, and having someone (both physically and on an emotional/mental level) ram-roding past all that against their will.
>>
>>18832683
perfect example of why white guys need to stay the fuck out of this. everything you say will be used against you
>>
>>18832713
>continued

A lot of times, that concept is so fucking scary that a lot of them would rather turn to self-loathing, convincing themselves that they deserved it, rather than admit that there was nothing they could do; Because if they admit there's nothing they could do--what's to say it won't happen again tomorrow? It may sound irrational, but couple that with a little PTSD and it's definitely understandable.

And if you really think about it, being afraid of being powerless, of not knowing what to do, of not being able to respond, of the unknown, is one of humanities greatest fucking gears and enemies.

People have ALWAYS been afraid of the dark. Of the ghosts that we can't understand. Of the uncertainty and unknown of the afterlife. Of what we have no power over.

So let her choose. Let her have some power in all of this.

I remember when my girlfriend told me about what happened to her, the first words out of my mouth were, "Thank you for choosing to share that with me, and I'm honored that trusted me enough to tell me that".

She cried and thanked me for not saying, "I'm sorry" and telling me that it was the perfect response.


Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>
>>18832709
its about anything and everything

I don't know what these poor no talent young cunts are going to do now to get in the movies

File: breakup_gameover.png (114 KB, 660x355)
114 KB
114 KB PNG
Will write for the last time bc desperate.

In the span of few years I had three relationships, all ended in a disaster created by both sides but initiated by my ex's. The thing that I'm currently struggling with is the idea of women actually being faithful to me or wanting to be with me at any longer period of time.

I think I lost it anons. My "charms", my "looks" are fading faster than Clinton's sanity levels, my communication with people is just plain retarded. That's not to say I'm bitter towards my ex's but I'm just confused and I want to understand.

Why would a woman cheat on a man who helped her with her personal issues for almost a year? Why would I allow myself to feel guilty over it even though I know it was her fault? Why would a girl which I was six months with suddenly wanting to leave me? (I know she didn't cheat on me - very close circle of mutual contacts)

Is there something fundamentally wrong with me? Am I trying too hard? Or am I just unable to create a relationships that lasts? I seriously having anxieties about my ageing (although I'm pretty young atm) and the fact of living alone makes me not wanting to move on.

Any questions shall be answered. Just help me.
>>
Don't judge the behaviour of women on a sample size of three. Have fun and don't worry as much as you do
>>
File: cheating bait.png (95 KB, 540x342)
95 KB
95 KB PNG
>>18832699
Pic related.
http://lucidphilosophy.com/15-hasty-generalization/
And dating is luck based. That means you havent had enough luck to meet your future wife yet.

Use your past bitter experiences to avoid doing the same miatakes in the future and filter your future partners by criteria which can describe your exes personalities.
>>
>>18832714
It's hard not to though. It's hard to find fun in something which you take that seriously. The biggest issue with me, I think, is that I don't want to have just a one-night thingies and I take each relationship quite seriously. And I understand what you are saying about the behavior thing. I would understand that better if it was just a one-off thing but it happened three times, one after the other, with no break in-between. Maybe I'm just really unlucky but if that isn't the case how can I get into a position in which I would see that such sample isn't truly representative? Thanks for the support though.

>>18832718
>Luck
Well, I'm fucked then... Thanks for the suggestion though!



Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.