[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k / s4s / vip / qa] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / aco / adv / an / asp / bant / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / his / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / news / out / po / pol / qst / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / wsr / x] [Settings] [Home]
Board
Settings Home
/adv/ - Advice


Name
Options
Subject
Comment
Verification
4chan Pass users can bypass this verification. [Learn More] [Login]
File
  • Please read the Rules and FAQ before posting.
  • AdBlock users: The default ruleset blocks images on /adv/. You must disable AdBlock to browse /adv/ properly.
  • Are you in crisis? Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at +1 (800) 273-8255.

05/04/17New trial board added: /bant/ - International/Random
10/04/16New board for 4chan Pass users: /vip/ - Very Important Posts
06/20/16New 4chan Banner Contest with a chance to win a 4chan Pass! See the contest page for details.
[Hide] [Show All]


Meta on /qa/ only.
All meta discussion of boards is to be redirected to /qa/.

[Catalog] [Archive]

File: 1215123125123.png (150 KB, 597x512)
150 KB
150 KB PNG
Hi /adv/, I've been dating this upper twenties qt 3.14 grill for a while now and we recently spoke deeper about ourselves and she confessed I was her first kiss (w. tongue) and that she is still a virgin.

Anyone got tips on how advance? I really like her.

I have only dated and fucked tinder sloots before so we are on completely different speed settings, my previous experience has always had me as the one with less experience, we haven't had any issues or anything and I respect her wish to take it slow but I should not be entirely passive right? I want to build attraction and a deeper connection with her!

Her personality is more private and reserved, loves video games and hates social media which fits me just perfectly.

I noticed that when I kiss her she gets super awkward (spaghetti everywhere, a giggling loveable mess) and when I hold her hands she gets tons of handsweat.

She really liked neck kissing and did not spill spaghetti everywhere surprisingly, what other things can I do to make advances but without it being too much for her?

Is she autismo? How do I woo the autismo grill I have fallen for?
>>
I am a virgin, but I have a dick. Just live your life until you die
>>
>>19027919
Thanks for the advice senpai.
>>
File: 1243526232324.png (175 KB, 302x297)
175 KB
175 KB PNG
>>19027932
>>
>>19027904
How did you two got to know each other?
>>
>>19028134
We met in class, started chatting, hit it off well and I asked her out.

File: 1407460726966.jpg (26 KB, 400x400)
26 KB
26 KB JPG
>get into two colleges
>Alabama and Humboldt
>trans
>Alabama is Alabama
>email students about LGBT campus life and contact Spectrum center to get an idea
>generally okay, off campus being a different story
>girl i email says the same, while also adding being run off the road a couple times
>Alabama's also close to home, which equals more support
>Humboldts very far away, with little to do
>Plane tickets home are 1000ish
>Humboldts extremely liberal
>not sure what to do
>semester for both begins on Jan 10th

To be honest even if I did go to Alabama I don't even know the likelihood of me staying there would be. Isn't it better to make connections in the place you'd rather live?

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
32 replies and 3 images omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>19027976

>I haven't met a northern cityboy

Considering that your terminology, along with every other aspect of your po' dunk shitheap of a state, dates back to the Civil War I'll just toss your opinion in the trash where it belongs. Don't you have a child molester to vote into the senate today? Better hop on your horse and ride on down to the polling station.
>>
>>19027986
>Don't you have a child molester to vote into the senate today?
Don't you got niggers to get beaten up by or flags to burn? Better get it done boy.
>>
>>19028007

>Don't you got niggers to get beaten up by or flags to burn?

I live in a human city populated and run by fellow humans and nothing really happens here. I understand, though. The propaganda about any city with a population larger than a Walmart super center being a leftist snake pit of chaos and degeneracy is just some fairly tale you fly-over fucktards tell yourself to feel better about being literally the worst population of people to ever inhabit the earth. I'd rather burn every flag in my city than be some fat, 4th generation mud farmer who thinks being American is a fuckin contest.
>>
>>19028007
>>19028122

>be not American
>think you both look like blithering fucking morons
this is the state of your entire country: more interest in starting shit than solving it
>>
>>19028135

>this is the state of your entire country: more interest in starting shit than solving it

I'm this guy >>19028122 and I agree. I'm not proud of anything that is happening. I give into my baser instincts because, in my defense, backwards fuckers from states like Alabama aren't interested in solving anything. I'm actually forced to physically defend my property from people trying to tear signs out of my yard and spray paint "nigger" on the side of my truck because Trump thinks its fucking cool.

I have no faith for the future of my country. The only thing I have faith in is cracking as many redneck skulls as possible so my children have a fighting chance at living in my city free of them.

File: maxresdefault-2.jpg (219 KB, 1280x720)
219 KB
219 KB JPG
I don't know why I bothered with STEM. Go ahead and call me an idiot, I can tell you're a bunch of assholes anyway so let it out.
Basically my computer programming class has projects, like any other course. But here's the thing: you must turn it in by EXACTLY 7:00 AM Sunday. The bitch that runs the class won't accept it earlier than that. You must upload it at that time abd if it is later at around say 7:30, she'll close the blackboard link abd post the project answers, thereby giving her more of a reason to not accept your project. You'll receive no credit.
What makes it worse is that she's a good coder but a shitty teacher. I learned far more about Java in one tutoring session than I did in a week with her.
I tried staying up all night trying to be ready for the exact moment to upload the project, with me waking up at 7:50. I emailed her about it and she said she won't accept it. This time I actually tried on my project too and got the tutoring I needed. But she spat in its face and even devalued my project if she were to accept it since she could tell from the code that me and other students had tutoring help.

I went to this community college to be with my girlfriend despite me getting accepted to 4 year schools, one of them known for having good teachers in STEM.
I chose CIS as a major since everyone bitches at freshman who have no idea what major they want to be. The fucking country looks down on liberal arts majors so I said I won't be one.

And now this shit happens abd I look more stupider than I did before.

TL DR
school sucks, life sucks, should I just kill myself
3 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>19027068
Teacher sounds like a total cunt honestly.

She probably has a shitty home life and gets off on bullying starving college kids.
>>
>>19027068
Deadlines are a fact of real world life
Stupid bosses are a fact of real world life

Be glad that you learned the lesson over just an assignment grade and not when it could cost you a job.

And anyone who chooses CC over university to be with a girl deserves it
>>
>>19027103
I know it's weird. If the link was open before that then she'd have every right to not accept my work.
But she only opened it at 7.
What the hell.
>>
>>19027115
Wait what's your story?
>>
>>19027068
write a bot that automatically uploads your assignment at the correct time so you don't have to stay up all night.

4chan, why does all these bad things happen to me. 18 Y.O.
Finals week. Failing the whole semester. Lost tons of money in bad investments. Been into a car accident yesterday. Friends deceived me. Girlfriend broke up with me. Parents hate me. My life is a mess right now. I know 4chan community is all about mockery pun and sarcasm. But for once, can I get real serious advice from people out there. Hope your day is going well, atleast.
5 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>19028072
>I fucked up regarding my grades. I agree that.
Fix them
>I invested in stocks.
If you invested you wouldn't have lost "a ton" of money during a huge bull market. You gambled on risky stocks and lost money like an idiot. Read some finance books before you put money in the market again.
>I'm broke so gf left me.
Why does an 18 year old girl money?
>Parents are disappointed about my grades.
Fix them.
>Probably because college is eating up all my money and I need side money to buy food and survive.
How about you get a fucking job? You don't put money into the market that you can't afford to lose. Moreover, you don't put money into the market that you expect to need in the next 10 years.
>>
>>19027977
You need to get a psychiatrist and get some medication, because otherwise you're very likely to relapse into a state of continuous misery. If you don't have any family or friends at such a young age, the trend becomes harder to reverse as time goes by. Get yourself professional help.
>>
>>19028072
How can you manage to lose money on stocks in this market?

I bought apple, alphabet, berkshire and amazon among others continously over the last 2 years.

My investment in apple is now up 89,5%.
Amazon is up 47%, google 43%, berkshire 39,75%.
>>
>>19028088
You're asking me the right questions. I don't feel like I have the right answers. I fucked up big time. Thanks for these slaps, anon. I'm really starting to think.
>>
>>19027977
You're an 18 year old who has had a girlfriend, has a car to crash, has enough money to have 'lost tons of money in bad investments', have parents to hate you, and still manage to piss away every advantage and mess up in school. I wish I had your advantages when I was your age.

With that said, I made something out of myself. If I can do it with none of your advantages, then you can do it too. Stop crying.

File: 1512054689942.jpg (27 KB, 400x400)
27 KB
27 KB JPG
So I'm 26 and recently started dating again after deciding to stop several years ago. I've met some girls I found attractive, but I feel like my motivation is lacking. I'm not feeling the kind of intense attraction I remember as a teenager. Talking to girls almost seems more like a logical pursuit than an emotional one. I'm more interested in a relationship than hookups, but I feel like this mellowing of my emotions hurts my chances. Is it just a part of growing older? Any advice on navigating this?
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>19027526
I had a lot of shit from my childhood that I needed to work out and after several years I felt like I finally did. Also, my social skills just sucked. I had a girlfriend when I was 18, and she was very attractive, but she came on to me first, and I didn't even like her that much. After we broke up I realized the best I could do was fluke my way into shitty relationships, so I spent years learning how to improve socially. Now I'm alright at it, but a lot of my desire is gone. I still want a relationship, even a family someday as I approach 30, but it's almost a logical decision as much as anything else. I want the companionship and the stability, but it's not a raging fire of attraction like I felt when I was a teenager. More like a small ember. Some might say this is a sign of maturing and mellowing out, wanting to settle down, but I'm worried the lack of strong desire hurts my chances.
>>
>>19027546
I think having that small desire beats being coming across as desperate. I know what you mean about wanting stability. Just meet a girl you really connect with and this small ember will grow into something much more. You must be aware though that you are not neglectful and that you let the girl know you like her. If you have difficulty feeling this connection could it be you just need to keep looking for the right girl or are you convinced the problem is centered in you?
>>
>>19027583
>could it be you just need to keep looking for the right girl or are you convinced the problem is centered in you?

Huh, that's simple, but I had never thought of it that way. You might be right, thanks.
>>
The most important thing I can tell you, and I know it's cliche as fuck, is be yourself. Don't do things you normally wouldn't do, don't say things you normally wouldn't say. Eventually, you'll meet that person that does bring out that intense feeling of attraction. If you don't get that that feeling, it's just not the right person.

However, unless you get lucky, you ARE going to go through some hookups or short lived relationships. You need to keep in mind that as soon as things start feeling like a chore, you need to move on. I don't say "start" lightly there either.

If you've lost the desire to keep trying like you say, it could be something as simple as you looking in the wrong places, at the wrong people like >>19027583 said. What are you into? What are your passions? If you have to think about that, maybe you need to figure that out first and the rest will fall into place.
>>
>>19027521
>Talking to girls almost seems more like a logical pursuit than an emotional one. I'm more interested in a relationship than hookups, but I feel like this mellowing of my emotions hurts my chances. Is it just a part of growing older?

This is called maturity. You now know what you want and don’t want. As a result, you are more easily able to start right away assessing each girl as to whether or not she is a suitable match for you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this and in fact is why it’s better to wait to get married and have kids. When you meet people and date it’s a random chance as to whether or not you’ll be attracted to one another and meet the list of values and qualities you’re both looking for. This chance meeting may happen quickly or could take years. Hang in there until you meet the right person. Then it will be wonderful. I’m speaking from experience similar to yours.

File: ec7.jpg (41 KB, 540x786)
41 KB
41 KB JPG
Have shitty voice. would vocal training help me improve it? or at lease help me sound better or stop stuttering
11 replies and 1 image omitted. Click here to view.
>>
File: 1512581349474.gif (2 MB, 400x300)
2 MB
2 MB GIF
>>19027238
Well in a conversation I will do two things, first I speak in a way that assumes that the other person knows what I'm taking about. I will state information in a way that makes sense to me, but not the other way around.
Secondly I connect two things that are somewhat related but use them interchangeably. So if I want to use the word kitchen, I am use the word oven instead.
>>
>>19027403
>I speak in a way that assumes that the other person knows what I'm taking about
This is honestly not that unusual. I imagine you feel that you do this more frequently than others, and it's good that you have assessed that you do it. Explicit communication is a skill that can be practiced, though words can only do so much for anyone and that is why diagrams are so useful when explaining something.
>connect two things that are somewhat related but use them interchangeably
This is notable! It may be an example of paraphasia:

http://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/medicine-and-dentistry/paraphasia

Paraphasia is a result of confused signal transmission in the brain. It doesn't necessarily indicate brain damage, but rather may be some other sort of neuron cross-talk caused by a number of things.

1. Have you ever lost consciousness as a result of a blow to the head, even for a few seconds? If not, have you ever had a blow to the head where you "saw stars?"
2. Have you ever experienced a stroke?
3. Have you ever been diagnosed with a developmental disorder?
4. Are you employed? Are you in education or training?
5. How long in your life have you experienced stuttering or the type of conversation ability that you described?

Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>
>>19027628
>1. Have you ever lost consciousness as a result of a blow to the head, even for a few seconds?
Not that I know off.
If not, have you ever had a blow to the head where you "saw stars?"
Not really
>2. Have you ever experienced a stroke?
Nope
>3. Have you ever been diagnosed with a developmental disorder?
Not that I'm aware off
>4. Are you employed? Are you in education or training?
Yes, mechanic apprentice and in college
>5. How long in your life have you experienced stuttering or the type of conversation ability that you described?
Probably since I was child
>6. How old are you? 19
>>
File: WT08.07Fig1.jpg (81 KB, 750x405)
81 KB
81 KB JPG
>>19027895
Good stuff.

1., 2., & 3.: The questions relating to head trauma and stroke were to assess brain injury, and the diagnosis of developmental disorder might indicate a reason for complication with speech planning.
4.: If you are doing reasonably well with your mechanic education and training, brain functions relating to arithmetic and spatial performance should be intact. Interestingly, calculations and language are typically both handled by the same brain hemisphere (in a great majority of people, the left hemisphere). Other math functions and visuospatial skills are processed by the parietal lobe, typically on the right hemisphere.
5. & 6.: Age related questions were to assess when any brain trauma might have occurred and how likely you are to be able to recover from it. At age 19, your brain is still developing (until your mid to late 20's), so there is a good chance you can overcome stuttering and speech planning with the right help!

If a speech-language pathologist is convenient for you to see, I would recommend a visit. You might keep these questions in mind for diagnostic purposes. Since you are in college, there is likely a professor who has a background with communication disorders or vocal performance. In addition to a licensed SLP, some of the professors in communication sciences and disorders or in vocal performance might be good resources.
>>
>>19025977
>I can decently perform a speech or presentation but I can't do the same voice in a social setting
I missed this bit earlier. If you see a professional for help, it would be useful to describe being competent with public speech but less confident in interpersonal speech.

File: diffuser1.png (1.69 MB, 1240x1240)
1.69 MB
1.69 MB PNG
How strong are the scents these things give off? Are they as good as incense or is it a cheap meme that doesn't work very well? Thinking of buying one desu but I like strong aromas.
>>
Are those mainly for humidity or scent? Cuse i got s humidifier where you can add scents and whilst you can smell it, it's not very strong. I prefer to dribble some on my vacuum's filter when i clean my apt, smells very good.
>>
>>19027864
Incense is garbage. These smell fine. If you need stronger scent then you place is smelly and you should clean more..
>>
I use these with eucalyptus oil since I have allergies. It opens up my nasal passages.
>>
>>19027864

>incense

Why not just tell everyone in a mile radius that you're going to suck down a fat blunt?
My buddies did this, burned incense to cover weed smell. Fuck sakes, burn a faggy candle, they'll think you're doing buttsecks. Better than fucking smoking indoors and getting your ass booted out.
(naw their landlord smokes too so they're good but still don't ever burn incense)
>>
>>19027874
I was referring to the scent kind, aroma diffusers where you put the oils in.

>>19027879
It's not for room refreshing as such, it's for work focus (I work from home) and relaxing, helps with my productivity, so as long as it's got an intense fragrance in front of me that'll do.

>>19027915
Are you sure you're old enough to be on these boards m8?

Is if normal to be bored shitless while making out with a girl?
5 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
u might b gay
>>
OP here, I can sincerely say I’m not gay, I’ve tried watching gay porn and it’s not my thing. I forgot to add that I was drunk at the time so that most likely fucked over my attention span and I jerked off twice that day so that probably fucked up my sex drive.
>>
>>19027935
You probably just don't like the girl that much. I didn't even think I liked kissing until I met a guy where every kiss was electric and got me wet as fuck.
>>
>>19027421
It's not a good sign. At least for me I get bored if she's not reacting, then I get spooked she isn't into it.
>>
>>19027421
Normal. I remember getting bored one time while I was fingering a girl's anus. She turns around and says, "Do I know you?" I said, "Whoa, calm down baby, it's a long bank line."

File: 1508869508794.jpg (3.42 MB, 4928x3264)
3.42 MB
3.42 MB JPG
Yo boys first post on /adv/

I met this girl on tinder we hit it off, we've been talking to her for a week or so. We went on a movie date and went on another "Date". We drove around and we ended up banging in my bosses house (long story). Your boy was limp not completely sure why. She wanted to hold hands and shit after that. We've been talking still since. The problem is shes kind of big and I don't really like big girls that much. I don't really want to bring a big girl home either. She is alright not super attractive. She is also watching a house in two weeks and we could bang for like three days straight. Should ya boi stick it out? Or is this man in too deep?
>>
>I'm a wigga who doesn't like fat girls
Hahahahahahaha good luck with that.
>>
>>19027690
just make something up as to why you can't really see her for two weeks. If you don't want her to get attached or hurt then break it off now
>>
>>19027690
>Don't like big girls
>Go on dates with a big girl
??????????????
>>
>>19027705
Seriously this op. Leave the big ones for me if you aren’t even into it.

File: 1494621730704.jpg (144 KB, 291x505)
144 KB
144 KB JPG
long short story my english professor is crazy and thinks "the wifi from your cellphones gives you braincancer", which got me so mad that I never showed up to her classes again
luckily all of the assignents are online, so I don't have to see her in person, but for this last paper it needs to be an argumentative essay, so I decided to do mine on "Why dihydrogen monoxide should be banned" just because I think she's crazy enough to think it should be banned, but I need examples, any ideas?
>>
>>19028017
10 seconds in google.

http://www.dhmo.org/facts.html
>>
There is a positive correlation between consuption of [water] (I'm too fucking lazy to type the full name) and sociopathy/autism/low IQ/sexual promiscuity/homosexuality/satanism/just pick and choose what she might fear the most.

Show BS graphs and try to sound as scientific as possible.

Or just rip-off Info Wars or something like that.

File: IMG_5269.jpg (31 KB, 493x335)
31 KB
31 KB JPG
>husband and i both agreed that we'd want two or tree kids
>we just had a baby a few weeks ago
>mutual friend tells me that my husband has told her husband that he doesn't want any more kids
>actively avoids answering my questions if get to the topic

Before the baby was here, we agreed to not use birth controle and just "see what happens" after giving birth. The last time we had sex, he said i should get an iud again... i said "i thought we'd just see what happens...?", to whoch he just remained silent.
What now? He has voiced that he has changed his mind because he thinkt ms pregnancy and labour was too hard on me (which it wasn't. Ofc it sucked sometimes and i sometimes complained, but nothing out of the ordinary). He wonmt talk about it to me honestly and openly. I think i should just let it rest for a while. Maybe it's all still too fresh for him to imagine going trough it all over again soon?


Or what would you advice me?
10 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>19027984
Okay. And you two talking about wanting more than one child, was that discussed before marriage? Like was it a condition of the marriage in any way?
>>
>>19027858
>He wonmt talk about it to me honestly and openly. I think i should just let it rest for a while. Maybe it's all still too fresh for him to imagine going trough it all over again soon?
>Or what would you advice me?
Just this exactly but I'd advise you to talk it out with him. I'd strongly advise to use protection too until he actively wants to have kids again. Which I am sure will happen.
Tell him that you're definitely willing to wait and see if he doesn't want another baby immediately. Use condoms I'd say.

I'm married 31 him 34 and we have three kids. He said 2 kids maximum at first but over the years and as the kids got older he changed suddenly and even reversed his vasectomy for a possible fourth kid.
>>
>>19027988
It was not a condition, but we agreed on it, long before marriage. I fact he was the one who always wanted more than i did.
>>
>>19027858
You literally just had a baby a few weeks ago. This is a radical life change and he's probably still adjusting to being a father. Stop fucking pestering him about having another baby just weeks after you popped out your first one. Give him some time to adjust to his new life before bringing it up again.
>>
>>19027996
You're probably not even healed yet from the birth of your son. Give this baby it's time but try not to wait too long(year or more). Bring it up again in a few months. Have an open discussion with him. Write down your key points. Find out his actual fears. Maybe it has to do with you or maybe he's not yet adjusted (it takes time and is a fucking whirlwind with your first), maybe he's worried you two will never have time to yourselves again(increasingly likely the longer you wait. The time really does fly by), or maybe there's something else going on. If you can't get a satisfying answer and you're both still at odds with having more children, you'll eventually probably divorce. Expecting to have lots of children then being denied that expectaion after the marriage is fraud and grounds for divorce (or annulment if the marriage is new). Until then, use condoms. Fuck iud's and all that hormonal shit. If he is worried about the toll on your body, those methods of bc are prone to devestating mishaps, but condoms, not so much, so keep that in mind.

For what its worth, I had a friend who told me about a parent's funeral. She had cousins and friends there for support, but she wished she would have had a brother or a sister there. Hearing that definitely helped me with regards to having kids.

File: 1509192989299.jpg (56 KB, 645x773)
56 KB
56 KB JPG
Doctorfags,
Am considering pursuing a career in medicine, and I'm wondering what grades I should be getting in my chosen bachelor's degree before I even consider the MD degree. Haven't started any degrees yet, just wondering. Will definitely be trying for a 7 gpa. I know they will consider anyone with a gpa over 5.
>>
T.b.h. if you can give me any solid ground to stand on, it would be great.
>>
>>19026884
With a medical degree the rule of thumb is the harder you work the higher you go. Don't focus on a certain gpa. As long as you are meeting the minimum requirements when you apply to what ever school/program then you are fine. Once you get in it is entirely on you. If you put a lot of work and study into you medical field then you will do well and be able to advance in the field faster.
>>
>>19026884
Anything noticeably below a 4.0 and you're looking at Dominican Republic State Medical College
>>
>>19026884

What is this 5 or 7 shit?

In U.S., I've heard you need 3.7+ GPA (A- average). You could choose an easy degree, then just do the science requirements along the way. Keep in mind around 50% of ppl who apply to med school in the US don't get in ANYWHERE.
not trying to discourage, but that's just what the reality is
>>
>>19027266
Here in Australia, people are graded on a 7 point scale.

Long story short, I’m tired of being introverted, unpopular, and miserable with my life choices. I’m looking for near total self reinvention.

>Early 20s, constantly get told how good looking/funny/etc I am by people (mostly girls) outside of small friends circle
>Can’t stand friends at all anymore, all of them have crab in a bucket mentality and drag me down
>When out in new places with new people instantly clam up, feel awkward, words wont come out besides short bursts when spoken to (people let their gaurds down because I’m good looking and dress nicely but are suprised by my introversion)
>At club last night girls coming over to dance/hookup with me but I’m so nervous that I can’t initate properly and feel like a fucking idiot (physically I’m interested and aroused but I feel “blocked” by my mind)
>Family has a lot of drama/problems that demoralize me and I’m stuck in a shitty school program because I was unmotivated (was once A student but life dragged it out of me) and am considering dropping out or changing course entirely
>Recovered fully from DPDR but still feel slightly detached from emotions, slight OCD as well (no compulsions just obsessions)

At 23 is it too late? I don’t want to be this way anymore and feel like shit everytime I go out and miss an opportunity many guys dont get (girls literally coming up to them instead of chasing girls) because I’m too shy and nervous to initiate
10 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>19027191
Well then there's only the part with searching new friends for you. I do thaiboxing and hit the gym sometimes, I talk to the people there and found some friends over the years.
We've got similar height and hobbies. I've never been told I was good looking though, I really envy that. Difference between me and you is I enjoy talking to new people and want to have a good time, that's the only reason I don't clam up in most situations and have a certain charm, I think people are drawn to that. You don't do that by focusing on your innermost feelings, you've mostly got that part blended out and focus on what's in front of you, on what's being said, on how people act and react, on what you want to talk.

It's got a lot of parralels to martial arts if you think about it. There you've got to have your mind together and be in the moment. Your mind and body are under stress, much more than in social situations, but you dont succumb to that feeling. You're focused on what's happening and simply act and react, doing your thing, and the longer you do it the easier it is to just enjoy yourself in that whole feeling.

Hitting on women in clubs is another thing though, I can't really wrap my head around it. They give you all the signs and then do nothing, just wait for you to give her something to react to or swipe her off her feet or something like that.

I'm really no expert though, had a dry spell for 8 months now because I never act on women who seem to like me.
>>
Bump
>>
>>19027300
OP here. Definitely agree on the friend part.

And I never really equated it to the stress of martial arts, thats pretty brilliant. Thank you for the advice, I hope things go well for you in the future
>>
It's impossible to change yourself, just your outlook on things. If you take "screw it approach" to anonymity you will be better off. At a club? Go crazy, the only thing you have to lose is the interest of a random person.
>>
>>19027998
>Its impossible the change yourself

This is absolutely untrue. Incredibly difficult yes, but humans are in a perpetual state of change. The “self” is a construct of constant flux. HOW to change is the question, but its possible

File: 1512395310023.jpg (34 KB, 560x560)
34 KB
34 KB JPG
Is it possible that there is just no solution for some, as many are just too fucking anti-social and can't interact with anyone outside of their family without it being artificial or no more pointless than shitposting?

Maybe it's just time for me to let go and stop obsessing over the idea of "if you don't have friends or a gf you will be miserable" and try to live in peace.
1 reply omitted. Click here to view.
>>
It is this mindset which puts people in such hopeless situations to begin with.
>>
Denial, genetics, autism, or simple stupidity/ignorance. A lot of people have never been physically whupped which I think everyone needs in their life (lord knows I got it). Teenagers these days come from the cuddlefuck generation where nobody even hands out zeroes, so failure is anathema to them where it's really necessary, especially for dating.
A lot of them think it's okay to brandish terms like 'normie' and 'roastie' and expect not to be treated like pariahs for it. There are many more whose sole sense of humour is at someone's expense and they never understand why people don't keep derisive people around.

I could give you a thousand answers. But honestly, genetics. Genetics fucks some people and gives them autism. Call it what we want, but that's a short fucking deck. I'd rather have to work for my keep than be autistic, damn.

But I guess I'm on /adv/ so why not both amirite
>>
>>19027838
>Is it possible that there is just no solution for some
Yes.

>Maybe it's just time for me to let go and stop obsessing over the idea of "if you don't have friends or a gf you will be miserable" and try to live in peace.
Yes.
Funny thing is, it's when people do this that things start to happen. Although not if they're a shut in.
>>
When something is causing you distress there are 2 ways of dealing with it: working to change the circumstances that are causing it or trying to accept it and be happy with it.

You're now asking this exact question, should you try to change it or accept it. I can't answer that for you, but learning how to simply accept (some) things is one of the best skills you can have in order to live a happy life. There will always be "problems" and some of them will be impossible to solve. I'm not saying this is one of them, many people who used to be extremely anti-social changed with times, but not I nor anyone else can give you a guide on how to do it. All we can say it "read about it and practice", but your present/future circumstances and mentality will have a much bigger impact overall.

But in my experience the anon above is right, when you finally stop caring too much about being sociable and likable and all that you will become a lot more natural in your social interactions, more outspoken, more open, more honest and some people will like you a lot more. Others will dislike you, but that's how it's supposed to be, you should be polarizing to some extent, you can't be liked by everyone. If you try to you will become that guy with no personality who never makes an impression on anyone.
>>
>>19027838
Hi OP! I'm 31 yo and I live alone with no friends. And I feel fine! I have a job and I get on well with my colleagues. I can interact with people good enough (i'm not autistic or anything) but I never make the effort to go to the friend phase.

I've go no problem with this life, except maybe the fact that my parents would like grand children. That's the only drawback.

File: whiteppl.png (729 KB, 800x600)
729 KB
729 KB PNG
The girl who had a crush on me turned out to be only 17. I could wait six months for her to turn 18, but I'm 28 so that seems a little creepy.

Should I go to my backup option, a mean goth girl who loves musicals? Or my backup backup, an exchange student who lives five hours away, speaks limited english, and raises sheep?
12 replies omitted. Click here to view.
>>
>>19027038
>you just didn't want to know.
>>19027358
>Instead he's trolling Wendys for a girl not out of high school.
>Should [x], [x], [x]
You're making lots of assumptions. Maybe he likes to hang out with his friend and he saw a pretty young thing. Don't get me wrong, I'd say everything you're saying to my own daughter. But instead you ought to be saying to OP,
>OP, I get you're looking at young pussy out of convenience, but perhaps you ought to make sure you're secure and happy in your current life situation before taking the plunge into dating. Let alone dating someone 10 years your junior.
>>
>>19026997
>raises sheep
That's really cool, anon.
>>
Age of consent in most states is lower than 18.
>>
>>19027473
Not in mine.
>>
>>19027358
None of those things are mutually exclusive.



Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.