If I'm not attractive enough to have a harem, or a bunch of FWBs, why shouldn't I just never speak to women and just coom? I don't care about kids or marriage.
I'm working a remote IT analyst job making £50,000/y (which I think is great for an average bong without a degree), and I have £100,000 in savings and investments (because I live with my parents and own nothing).>My problemI'm nearly 29 and my life is incredibly boring, never found love and worried I'm at risk of missing out on having children with a woman of child bearing age. I was going to buy a house but I realised the only things I can afford are just really crap, and I'm losing interest in that whole idea, and maybe I should use my money to do something else. >What I wantI think I've played life too safe, and I want to take more risks and expose myself to more randomness that might be able to solve my unsatisfied desires. I think I've got good opportunities, but not sure where to start. I don't want to throw away what I've already done for myself, I just want to take a different path from here.>My questionWhat would you do if you were me? Extra background:>Wasted 18-22 by being a retarded and badly misguided hermit. >Finally got a good career path at 22Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34071387I had none when I got my apprenticeship, which became remote after about 3 months because of covid, and after 2 years I got my current job.
>>34069308Honestly, I'm in pretty much the same position (years wasted partially from my own failure and partially from lockdowns). My plan is to buy land (houses are expensive but land is cheap where I live for some reason) and build a house from cheap materials. I know it could backfire massively if I'm a retard and can't build for shit, but I'm an American so my pioneer ancestors did it so why can't I?So basically I'm bumping in case anyone has a less retarded idea for me to do.
>>34072526So picture yourself in your crapshack on your acre of land in the arse end of nowhere, sending internet packets via carrier pigeon. Finally free from the shackles of society. Now what?We may be in similar positions but we're not in similar mindsetsOne of my failures was aiming too low, striving for mediocrity so I could aim for the next level once I'd conquered it, and play life in little baby step stages like a boring video game. That was stupid of me.
I'm in a similar position as you OP except I'm 33 with a STEM degree and in the US but I have to drive to my job. My job of like 5 years was pretty chill until the whole tariff shit happened and it's become intolerable to my stress so I'm cold turkey quitting in January. I've been applying for jobs that would force me to move out of my parents home (anything with 1+ hour commute) but only managed to land 1 interview in the last 3 months that I had these thoughts. Come January I'm going to be taking some community college courses, get some certificates, study for future exams if I decide to get a master's degree, get a nutritionist and personal trainer (got appointments set up already), and still apply for jobs.I guess what I'm getting at is that even if you don't have a plan written down, you want to keep up the momentum and do something that advances you personally. A remote job is a prized thing to have because it gives you leverage in how you spend you "work" hours. You just have to figure out how to best make use of that time. I wish I was in your position where I didn't have to deal with commute or pretending to be busy at work.
>>34074308Man I wish I went to college instead of being a neet lol
I worry that women won't accept it. Is my fetish that bad or not?
>>34068526All fetishes are bad, have sex like a normal human being
>>34072787this sick fuck has a vanilla fetish, gross fucker probably couldnt even get off to a bj anymore, really sad how porn rots your brain
>>34068526no, armpits are super based. my theory is it's sort of a crossing of the wires between the "leg pit" and the arm pit. and you know what's in the leg pit. they're pretty homologous
>>34068526You can typically play off any fetish if you're confident and aware of the message you give off. Slip it in naturally during intimacy though, don't start off with "I am attracted to your pits"
>>34072787>sex for any other reason rhan procreation is evilYou remind me why hatred is the proper emotion to feel towards christians.
There's this girl about my age, single mom, I've known her for about 20 years. Yesterday I met some friends and she was there too, she told me (not the first time) that she works two jobs, she's always short on money, the child's father is an asshole, usual stuff.I've had this idea that maybe I could offer her some money every month, helping with bills, in exchange for some sexual intimacy. I want to make it clear that I don't want to treat her like a prostitute: she's a friend who finds herself in need of money, I'm a friend who can help her and is need of sex. I have a good job and I sometimes spend money to have sex, but I think it would be better if I had sex with her instead.Any opinions, experiences, advice?Pic: not her.
>>34073213this will not go well for you.
I'd go for it. She's already a whore anyways so not like you are doing anything bad.
Do not do this you fucking retard
>>34073213That would be prostitution though. Make the offer though and tell us what happened.
>20 years friend>20 years>20>wants to pay her for sex aka prostitutionthe absolute state of you even making this thread. retards flock together i guess
>Don't put women on a pedestalWhy not?
>>34077372women are people, and putting us on a pedestal just puts us somewhere that we can get knocked off of the second we aren't acting the way you expect us to. women shit and barf just like you. acting like we don't is dehumanizing.
>>34077372Because that would be too easy and women have gone insane. In our dads' time, a man had to compliment a woman and buy her flowers. These days, you have to date dozens of women to figure out the weird hoops they all make you jump through.
>>34077803>These days, you have to date dozens of women to figure out the weird hoops they all make you jump through.Idk about that anon. But you are 100% correct about the old days of complimenting and buying flowers, that was the common courting ritual and it worked every time. I would be as bold as to say that it would work even now, in fact it would work INSANELY well. I’ve seen women cry their eyes out with tears of joy when receiving flowers because no one, absolutely no one, bothered to buy them flowers even once. Flowermaxxing should come back
>>34077372Because putting women on a pedestal makes them way less attracted to you.
>>34077372They can be on the pedestal, but you have to be the number 1. Narcissistism works even better than listening to a woman and caring about her (both work actually).
How do you cope with constantly having to work?Getting up at 5 every weekday, coming back in the evening with barely any time for yourself. I worked a lot harder in Uni... But that was in "seasons", preparing for exams or projects. There was set holiday time too.Now, I get PTO yearly, and not much of it so I always feel guilty not saving it for a trip.I just feel like crap with the constant chug of it. There's no breaks, no "relief deadline" to work towards because at the end of every finished task is a new task...
don't work hard. coast. you hard work will never be appreciated or rewarded. don't have any company loyalty. continuously look for other jobs and leave the second you find one that pays better.
>How do you cope with constantly having to work?By reminding myself that its cold in the winter. I'm thankful I found a job that has 6 weeks of PTO I use at the end of the year since summer is a busy time and it stacks working over 40 hours a week as I work a half day on Saturday to get ahead for the week ahead. >>34077438I dont know. The place I'm at is pretty great. My judgement maybe biased from working at shit jobs for around 20 years, but my worst days at my current job are better than the best days at my prior employers.
Why do people who treated me badly try to come back into my life ;-;
>>34074222Idk but its not as simple as "just stop caring" I feel attached to certain people and is hard to let go ughhhh>>34074220Yes I fapd
>>34074184Because they want to revenge, closure, to patch up the lost time, lots of reasons
>>34074184So they can treat you badly some more
>>34074184Every person who has treated me like shit never came back into my life because I went nuclear on them with righteous anger, and now they fear me. The women are now begging for me to come back to society, but I'm just going to continue being maximum comfy in my house, because it's not my problem.https://files.catbox.moe/u4vrpf.mp4https://files.catbox.moe/nhyjin.mp4https://files.catbox.moe/eew135.mp4
>>34076068But I feel bad and always hope that they've changed and we had a connection and knew eachother for quite some time
I have never felt sad when I hear about people dying. I had a lot of close friends and relatives die on me, and sometimes in front of me. A lot of them were surprised because of how unemotional I was.I didn't think about anything except myself. I often tend to, however, reminisce, and that's when I get sad over their death.I don't care about how they'd see it, but I get sad knowing I'd not able to speak to them again. Is this normal? Is there a disorder or condition that I have? I've always been suspicious of people who immediately get emotional once someone dies. I don't know.
>>34077440It’s because you normalised death at some point, or loss, or grief. Like you said, you had a lot of people die on you. Some even right in front of you. That’s normal given the way grief works and how the mind responds to repeated grief, it eventually hardens and loses feeling, doesn’t mean you don’t actually care though. Care is not an emotion, care is a choice. It can either come from unfeeling thoughts, or purely compulsive emotion, doesn’t matter which. You can still truly care while feeling close to no emotions about the dying and the dead. That’s completely normal. There is no right way or wrong way to grieve.
>>34077470Midwit post lol “educate yourself on cluster B disorders” let me guess you had a bad breakup and you were angry that your ex didnt want you anymore so you convinced yourself its because your ex must be le heccin personality disordered for even thinking of disliking you, almighty (you), so you swallowed a bunch of fake pseudo-psychological bullshit from YT, reddit, quora and now you spam “cluster B” like a buzzword at anyone who you deem to be not emotional enough.
>>34077501found the nasty little psycho
>>34077605>doesn't have empathy for narcissistspsychology really is just astrology these days
>>34077760Kek, right? I love when these “empaths” pipe up about how they THINK they know what empathy is. But the minute they suspect you are the villainous cluster B, then magically all empathy goes out the window. Which goes to show they don’t have empathy either.
As a 33 YO Hetero man in the "west", how do you know when to give up with women and that you'll never be any woman's (you like) first choice?
>>34073453You are not special
>>34073079He could just go outside where theres no age number tacked next to his picture. All those numbers ( height too) matter A LOT less when women meet you as a person first and not a dataset.>>34073422If he actually stoops down to dating apps, theres little choice. Most women have a filter set that automatically hides men above 30/35. Real life of course offers no such filters.
>>34073201Putting in the reps is a term from weight lifiting, to progress there you need to put in the repetitions, actually lift a bar loaded with heavy weights, repeatedly.Same with social/romantic stuff, gotta pu t in time socializing, with men and women. For a denizen of 4chan, I would also recommend therapy, from a guy specifically, they're more likely to function like a coach than a hugbox, guys need a coach more than a hugbox.
>>34073056>and that you'll never be any woman's (you like) first choice?if you are consistently falling for women you'd never be a choice for that means you have a mental problem you need to address. you are afraid of the risk of opening up to someone you would really form a connection with so you seek situations that will end poorly and safely confirm your inertia is the only answer
>first choiceGrow up and learn why settling down uses the word settle.>Not a native english speaker here, don't know what that entails.No excuse for being retarded.
should i buy an art? i've been living in my house for 3 years and all of my walls are bare. i think it's weirding people out. what kind of stuff am i supposed to put there?
>tfw have good arts but no guests to appreciate them
>>34074791Better but for a wall you want something closer with a point to focus on.
>>34072407I've never understood the purpose in putting up abstract shit on the wall like paintings that have absolutely no meaning. I have family photos, pictures of my pets, Pokemon posters, Land Before Time screenshot printouts, Star Wars stuff, etc. You know, stuff I actually care about that has meaning. I don't care about putting up what I'm "supposed" to as an adult. That boring generic shit has no appeal to me. I'm 34 so I'm not just out of high school or whatever. I've always decorated my house the way I want. I don't give a fuck what other people think.
>>34074964>meaningEnjoying an aesthetic in your space is sufficient meaning.>supposed toPeople judge, often stupidly. If you want to interact with them then you have to pay the toll.
>>34072407There has never been a better time to decorate your house with art. Just generate stuff with AI and then get it printed somewhere. AI makes great watercolor paintings and stuff like that. If you can't think of anything make some still-life paintings or landscapes.
Unsure whether or not this girl is hitting on me>begin uni>party>same girl randomly compliments me three times on how I dress, also has a thing for specific watches>she always smiles when she looks at me, with a grin (I know it's genuine because her eyes are also little closed when she smiles)>at first I believe that she's onto me, ask friend if she also talks in high pitched voice towards him and he says "yeah she does that". Learn that she apparently has a boyfriend and has a thing with another guy going already but not confirmedffw few weeks>we don't have much contact but lately she asks me a lot for help, take it as she's just using me (lol)>need I mention she starts convos more than I do>help her, she deeply appreciates it and she tries her best to help me back and looks like she feels genuinely sad when she can't help me back>sometimes we talk about random stuff and chats look equal (not like I'm the only one putting in the effort in the convos)>heart reacts to a lot of my messages which doesn't look like a particular sign to me, just a sign of agreeing with me>sometimes when we have a convo going up and she gives shorter answers, I feel like I'm interrupting her>she still smiles at me every time she sees me but it just looks like she's trying to be friendlywhat do you think
>Learn that she apparently has a boyfriend and has a thing with another guyEven if she was the answer has to be no
>>34077661Answer has to be no to the fact she's into me or that she has a thing with other guy (and her boyfriend) going?
can self isolation lead to regression of social skills?I've essentially become a hermit since my ex cucked me, and now whenever I do go out I drunkenly embarrass myself or obviously step out of line with people without realizing it. Before the whole ordeal I used to be the popular happy go lucky type, but since then I've moved countries and botched EVERY single first impression I've had since getting here, be it with girls, workmates, authority, you name it.I've become a hateful, drunken shell of my former self and I don't know how to go back. Why do I dread social interactions? Why do I fear and hate women? Why do I drink myself into a stupor before every single social event I attend regardless how rarely it happens?Honestly I think I've started to enjoy wallowing in self pity and vegging out all day, it's scary.I didn't even realize how bad it's gotten until a workmate told me the shit spewing out of my mouth when I was drunk during an office party, ironically on the same day where three other unrelated people asked me if I was depressed.Holy fuck I need to get out of this vicious cycle ASAP
moving countries, even to ones with basically identical culture like from Canada to the US is still harrowing in terms of learning the little bits of etiquette and expectation for a highly functional normie. you are in a frustrating position because of that. the unfortunate circumstances of your relationship suck, but you are rushing to make connections and draw conclusions from that series of events. you are trying to make a grand narrative about what this means about your identity and how it is specifically malformed and has led you to disaster. this sort of catastrophizing is common amongst posters here. i don't have any magical advice that is going to resolve your situation for the better, but in the meantime, i could just advise you to compartmentalize these separate difficulties in your life, and think more in terms of having run into 2 or 3 difficult situations at once, where any part of one might turn out better or resolve even if the others are stuck. what i see too often on this board is people taking real but separable problems and instead tying them into a huge gordian knot that destroys their desire to take action to make any one difficult situation any better because it won't solve all of them at once.
>>34077546they aren't inseparable issues dawg. Me moving was a direct consequence of losing a long term partner and half a friend group.I had nothing there except for my aging parents who rightfully don't want me to stay. The country and the differences in cultural minutia aren't the issue, I am.People I do meet are more often than not busy with their adult lives, or loser gamers/druggies I'd rather not gel with.
>>34077513the less you do something the worse you become at it and that applies to social skills too. the bigger issue is your alcoholism, that needs to stop. get into religion, use it as a vehicle to stop being a degen.
>>34077531not what i said, the greentext was pulled directly from your ass. i see now that you are a paid demoralizer here to push an agenda and not to get actual advice.
>>34077656I was talking about my therapy
Ever since the covid hoax I stopped interacting with the goyim cattle. I just look through them and pretend they don't exist. I don't even greet them or acknowledge their presence. I'm not staring either, I'm just looking straight through them as if they weren't there.My life has significantly improved. I am at peace
>>34076338>I am at peaceand yet you can't fight the compulsion to post this every day.
>>34076604Triggered (you) Checkmate gaytheist
Should I do it ? I've been dealing with crippling social anxiety and even tho recently I've made some progress, I think having my place and being forced to work, to go out for groceries, to pay the bills and so on would make me progress much fasterMoney-wise it's not the best but what's the point of having money if I never use it, I'd rather have experiences, also my parents have money so I'm not really worried about dying of hunger even if I failI wanted to go abroad but I'm working in my dad's company right now and me leaving would give him a lot of problems, I live next to a border (Europe) so I could probably still live abroad and take the train to be able to work with him, the countries I can go to aren't the ones I dreamed about but eh better than nothing21M no degree no driving licence btw (working on the latter)
>>34077382Move out but stay in town and continue working at your dads company. Small steps at first if your social anxiety is really crippling. Reevaluate in a 6 months-1 year. Always make sure you're employed.
I want to hug a girl and never let go. I just want to feel the touch of a woman.
>>34072342>Hating your brother over muh bonerProbably fake as other anon said, but this is depressing to think about. Why would you ever treat your own brother this way?
>>34072499If in theory it was a true story then I could see it being fair for her to treat him this way depending on the way he ACTED during the boner. As in did he get embarrassed and tried to distance himself from her somewhat so it doesn't poke into her as much OR did he lean into the boner by moving forward and pressing his boner up against her real close and then beginning to slightly move from side to side to purposefully rub his boner up against her for titillation purposes? If it's the former then yes she's a terrible sister. But if it's the latter it's perfectly understandable for her to react that way as it would then be a form of sexual harassment.
>>34072342>Hot adoptive older sisterSo you’re willing to throw away a once in a lifetime connection just so you can get your dick wet? Really Anon? You’re that much of a step-sister porn addicted gooner? You fucking retard?
>>34072733Right? Like bro. If you lose a friend you can just find another friend (somewhat easier said than done but it's true) but you only get one sister. You can't exactly just go out there and find another sister. You can make new friends but you can't make new siblings. The closest you can get is a close friend who is like a sibling but it's just not the same. So anon is a fucking retard beyond repair.
>>34068057Bro. I'm just in your shoes. Every man deserve the soft touch from a woman. I'm a 35 year old virgin incel. I'm built like King Kong so I don't expect any women to ever love me/give me a chance. One thing that helped med was finding a amazing Thai masseuse. Experiment with some different Thai saloons. First time was fucking intense (but in a good way).
