>What is /htgwg/?How to Get Women General is by men, for men, about women, so bring all of your questions about getting and dealing with women here. Some anons on this site actually get laid, and some of them even want to help. If you're trying to meet and date women, then this is the place to ask questions, seek advice, and share experiences. We know how hard it can be. We got you bro.>What is /htgwg/ not?These threads are NOT for whining, moping, incels, volcels, MGTOW, hopelessness, or demoralization. We're all aware that meeting and dating women is hard today, and even harder for some, but /htgwg/ is for trying to overcome the challenges. IGNORE the posters who complain, give up, or insist there's nothing they can do. This site has other boards and threads that they can pollute. BE SMART: Spot the bait, don't reply, and DON'T WASTE TIME ARGUING WITH THEM!>How to ask for adviceContext is important: be more specific than "This girl ghosted me, why?" We can't help if we don't know the situation, so try to provide as much (useful) info as possible ("I was at the bar, this chick was checking me out..."). What's your relationship with the girl? How long have you known her? Any conversation screenshots? Etc... Don't forget to ask an actual question.>Resources and Bookshttps://wingman.live/ (AI dating coach)https://pdfcoffee.com/318797392-mark-manson-models-2016pdf-4-pdf-free.htmlhttps://archive.org/details/robert-glover-no-more-mr-nice-guy-id-353324692-size-612https://www.youtube.com/@YourWingmamhttps://www.doctornerdlove.com/blog/Comment too long. Click here to view the full text.
>>34274149so are you getting ghosted or not?
Reminder for everyone here, not to let arrogant behavior get to you okay? The real rich man is the one who came home to get a hug from his mom, not the one who had it all.
How do I unconservative myself?In regards to relationships. Not in the sense of "I want kids", but "I only want a lifelong partner". I would never want to pass on my DNA.Even when a girl literally ASKS me out, I always chicken shit out because I'm like "it won't work because y and z and we will break up eventually". But I just drank tonight, at a bar that had only men and I'm still drunk right now and I'm going "DAMN ITD BE FUN TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND I SHOULDVE GONE TO A BAR WHERE ALL THE GIRLS GO". How do I make myself want relationships even if I can predict it might end in a breakup?
>>34274537the only girl i went out with didnt even thank me for the cappuccino i offered her
>>34274943wrong. I belong here because I'm giving motivation to you incels lolhave sex, incel!
So I'm on a bus and this lady brings her kids onboard and has one of them sit beside me. It's a forward facing two seater bench seat and I'm in the seat next to the window. The mom sits like a few rows away, of course.When it comes time for me to get off at my stop, what's the best way to get the kid to move out of my way WITHOUT being accused of attempting to hurt the kid IF and mean IF the kid refuses to move after me asking them politely to do so and the mom isn't like telling her kid to move?
You're obviously a complete weirdo. Anything you do is fine as long as you don't have a boner.
>>34276367Um... what?
>>34273708This look?
>>34276755
>>34276940That's inappropriate...
Good day, i am writing to you all regarding a recent health "concern" i have been experiencing. i am a 38 yr old male whos last sexual encounter was in 2011 so its been a 15 year dry spell, partly self imposed out of frustration and anger and partly due to circumstances. ive more or less become a hermit and have given up on romance in general and found that my libido slowly diminished in my late 20s early 30s. HOWEVER in the last year or so it has shot through the roof, im finding myself with enough energy to masturbate to completion multiple times a day, am constantly daydreaming about beautiful women and how i want to have sex with them. has anyone else experienced this before. what the heck is going on?! is this my body's final scream into the void to procreate before time takes its toll on my fertility? does it get better after you turn 40? dont get me wrong, its a sign of good health to feel sexually vigorous and know that all my faculties are working so to speak but its becoming a personal hell to deal with this on a daily basis knowing that i may be spending the next 15 yrs and the next 15 years until i die alone...fml
>>34275868Because your body is reaching the point that it's telling you to reproduce above all else cause that's its goal. Your dick wants to nut and create a kid hence why you're suddenly down to fuck anything with a pussy. I'm pretty much the same. I never really focused on pussy in my 20's, the occasional lay was fine, but now I find myself actively staring at women and seriously wondering what she looks like nude or how I would fuck her. Jacking off ain't helping you though. Channel that energy better
>>34275971>Channel that energy betteri have a stable career, am physically as fit as ive ever been, have hobbies both artistic and practical and intellectual pursuits. what else is there left to do
>>34275868same but mid 30s, for me it began after I started lifting again
>>34275868testosterone is fine, you'll just lose hair
>>34276028>what else is there left to doTalk to women?
I'm a feminine looking guy and mediocre height. But my type is conventionally attractive stacies (ie pic rel) pretty much exclusively. Is it over?
Just have a 8/10 face minimum
>>34277529What is an 8?
I really find it to be uncomfortable to hold eye contact for reasons likely ass burgers. its like they can hear my thoughts or are seeing into my soul. this especially happens when i am talking to a woman who i find attractive. also my self esteem is in the shitter in general. so ive been sitting and sort of meditating on images of beautiful smiling women with genuine expressions of warmth or fellow-feeling. i guess my question is, is this fucked up and cringe or is there some legitimacy to this practice. i reallly want to date someone but its so hard to find people who are patient and understanding enough of quirks like this. maybe i should just anhero and be done with it fuu
>>34277370>really find it to be uncomfortable to hold eye contactsame, thats why i just shortly glance at them and then away>hear my thoughts or are seeing into my soulyup, i do that when looking into the eyes (portals to ur soul) of people. thoughts only when they are emotionally charged>meditating on images of beautiful smiling women>legitimacy to this practicei dont get it. for what reason are you doing this exactly? maybe elaborate? also you should fix your mindset before maybe and have confidence. women and animals can sniff it out if you dont have confidence>cringewhy do you care what others think. if it works for you, it works.
>>34277370Everyone is shy around their crush, that's complete normalBut if you literally imagine them hearing your thoughts and if you get paranoid or something, unless ur 100% sure you spoke them out loud; then you might have schizophrenia
Im a senior in High School and I want to talk to a girl that I find really pretty and how am I suppose to pull this off???I don't talk with a lot of people at school and outside of it, and Im shy like really shy >_<We don't even have class together anymore but we have one class close to each other in the morning so Im gonna wait for her and try to talk to her.I tried that yesterday but when she walked by I couldn't say I word >_>Like how can I push myself to actually talk to her and have a good conversation?(also should I give her chocolate looking that it was valentines day a week ago? i wanted to give it to her last friday but she wasn't at school and I don't know if theres a point giving it anymore (also the chocolate have my phone number on a paper attached to it))Please guys help me out >_<
This may sound trite, but the best thing you can do is just walk up and say something.If you really think you need to build up to it, start greeting people in the halls that you don't talk to.
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take
>>34273521I'm a fat 25 year old KHHV still working minimum wage jobs while living with my parents. Just letting you know.
i cant talk to anyone. everytime someone is slightly nice in one conversation it feels so special. i have multiple of my online conversations saved so i can read them again later if i feel lonely. And i cant have friends without falling in love with them. i dont like having friends because of how much i will like them
>>34275910I was like you who would believe everyone is a friend if their nice, so I trusted people too easily then one day when I tried to check on them they called me annoying then blocked me. My heart shattered and to this day I learned a lesson not everyone is your friend but a stranger. Its why I can now talk with people without care, if they say something nice good, say something bad move on. If they say they no longer friend or hate me understandable, I've let go my standards and see how it goes, because its interesting. Reminescing the past is waste of time, when you could just talk with them.
>>34275910You sound like such a sweetiepie that i want to be friends unironically
omg i got so many replies >>34276241Thank you and yea i added you.>>34276282Thanks im glad it got better to you, but i have problems with being close without being romantic, or thinking some things are romantic. >>34276524So sorry you got blocked, and i hope its better now!>>34276533You didnt say very much but you seem nice too :)
>>34275910>. i dont like having friends because of how much i will like themWierd. You must have a strong social interest.
>>34277612I dont want to because i will end up falling in love with my friends who are just my friend and wont like me back
I just went to the mail to pick up 7g of shrooms I bought, but Im not really sure about this. Im not really in a particularly good place mentally spiritually, and thats the reason I want to take them, just to figure out whats the deal with me. I live my life in a sort of dissociative state, I barely talk to people, or feel emotions, so Im expecting this stuff is really going to slap me hard if I take it.
>>34277325 (me)Also, I took 2g, I'm underweight. 7g is insane dose.
>>34277325I would say that I have very high openness to experience but at the same hand very high neuroticism. but yeah apart from that I feel in a very strange place spiritually, like far away, disconnected
>>34276097>If it doesnt bothers you, could you explain to me how it was that state for you or the others? with detail, i need "testimonies"Sure, not a problem. Late response from me as I fell asleep. It was very similar to you, I felt disconnected from life, but at the time I didn't quite know it had to do with a disconnection from God. I did not believe or care to believe in Him. In this state, my mind was fogged, life felt like a blur. I felt like I was trapped in my own skull, viewing life through a peephole in my minds eye, like I was cast out or in mental exile. And that peephole was made of frosted glass, everything and everyone was 'blurry' emotionally. I could look my own dad or mom or brother or old friends in the eye and I didn't feel connection, they felt the same to me as a stranger on the street. I could no longer identify any feeling in myself, couldn't tell if I felt an emotion as it happened couldn't tell what that feeling was. "I don't know" was my baseline emotion. That and a perpetuating sense of dread or loss, yet I could neither identify what I dreaded or remember what it was I supposedly lost. For a long time I normalized it and existed in this way, which lead my life down some very fucked up paths. Id let myself be hurt but I didn't care. I'd hurt other people and didn't care, nothing mattered. Whatever happened to my body I didn't care, whatever happened outside of my mind, out 'there' in reality, I didn't care. Because my reality was my mind prison, I was lodged in my own whirlwind of thoughts non-stop, that's the only realm I took somewhat seriously. But I had no feeling inside my mind, I could never feel serious about myself so any time I endeavored to live better, it felt fake, phony, pointless. I did what you did to, tried therapy, tried telling someone. They never understood, instead I'd get stupid assurances "Wow well you seem very self aware anon, you seem very mindful." But they didn't realize, my mind is what I had too much of.
>>34276097>>34277573>ContinuedThat was the big pain in my ass that I couldn't explain to others and had a difficult time verbalizing to people, and why therapists couldn't seem to help me either.My mind was fine. I could think clearly, my words were coherent, I wasn't insane. Neurotic maybe but definitely not in an state of stupidity or madness. So every time the therapist dug in my mind and told me shit about my past or my present, I already knew. Nothing was a surprise and the therapist would always give me this awkward tone or tired look, because they hit a dead end and that made me feel like a dead end. My emotions, although near dead and buried, I at least knew why they were a bit fucked, they didn't surprise me either.So I was stuck. Found no answers in my mind and none in my heart. Yet there was this third barrier, this third and final place I didn't check and couldn't see, and it was the part of me the therapist couldn't speak on, or myself. That third place was my spirit. My mind was clear, my heart scuffed but still beating, yet it was my spirit that was broken. And that's why I had a hard time knowing what was 'wrong' with me. Because in this life, people rarely if ever check that place. A lot of people don't even know they have one. Time was, psychology knew. Psychology is Greek for "study of the soul". Modern psychology abandoned it's roots a long long time ago. That is perhaps why you go to the therapist thinking they will know, but most of them don't. Those who know, know. And those people can be anywhere. A parent, a friend, a priest, maybe a good psychologist who actually knows his craft, though they are rare. But without fail, the one person who knows at all times. It's God. That's why you should take it to Him.
>>34277587>>34277573>>34276097>LastlyThe tricky thing about the soul/spirit is if you try to brute force ways to mend your own spirit, it either never works or has the opposite effect. Much like trying to run or walk on broken legs, it delays the healing time. I had a pride issue back then. I knew I was stuck but I wanted to be the one to deliver to myself my own healing, to prove something to myself. The more I did that, the more stuck I got. Like quicksand. Spiritual brokenness behaves exactly like quicksand. The more you struggle or try to climb out yourself, the faster you sink. That's why I tell you to take it to God. Because the way to heal is to do nothing, let God handle it. Ask Him to His face in prayer, even if you only feel silence and absence, tell Him. Be honest with Him, you can even get angry with Him, be as brutally honest as possible and scream out for help. Then you allow yourself to do nothing, to just rest. Because you need to rest to mend broke legs. You cannot walk on them, you need a physician and time. Likewise for the broken spirit, you need God and you need some time. And God has all the time in the infinite kingdom for you, bud. He won't vanish or abandon you even if you take a lifetime. He's like a taxi that's always waiting patiently outside the house. And the fare doesn't increase, you won't be in debts for struggling or failing. Because again, the grace is free. I wish you all the best brother. Don't be afraid, do not despair. If you are a prodigal son, you are a prodigal son. Remember God loves the prodigal son. The reward for the one who ran away and disconnected is a celebration and a feast when he returns.
Have you ever met someone who was a pyromaniac? Or perhaps you are one yourself?If yes, what is it like? I am curious about it.
>>34276048>t.
It’s just nice to burn things. You start learning what burns, different methods, how to make colored fire, etc. The only downside I’ve had so far is bad burn scars.
Its awesomene. its domething you can learn to do yourself its just calming and makes me feel better after. but try to not burn down things because there is a 99% the police will get involved :l
I wake up every morning with a horrible neck pain and headache Am I dying?
>>34277548Dont think you are dying lol but try maybe sleeping more early or exercise or something. you didnt write a lot so anything could be the problem
Are your desires based off of your habits or are habits based off of desiresCan you form a life you want to live based on the belief that acting in a certain way will make you desire a certain thingI ask these two questions because I feel myself having less desire to do things I currently enjoyed even though I’d know I’d still enjoy themBut if the desire isn’t there is it better to wait for it to return or can you shape the sort of person you want to become based solely off actionsLike imagining who you want to be and how that version of you would act then doing that with no desire as motivationOr is it more important to just ban certain habits and behaviors that skill prevent you from acting in a certain way / keep you too paralyzed to take action in any sort of project hobby or interest i.e. doomscrollingI have these cycles where I don’t wanna do things anymore then I return to my hobbies and I’d like it to stop and reach a state of homeostasis I have wasted so much time of my life just not doing things recently (or sometimes finding new niche interests which is fine) but I know that the “me” I want to become and be would be doing the things I used to enjoyIs this a mind problem or a heart problem
I live my purpose
>>34273794They both follow the dick
>>34274657>They both follow the dickThat's actually true funnily enough. It stops doing that after hitting 30-35 years old and/or you succeeded in reproduction.
.
>>34274645I love my porpoise.
I need to a place in Europe to start overI’m 40, I have a steady income
>>34273065Ask /trv/
>40>glowniggeryou can go to the place "go fuck yourself"
>>34273065Are you this guy?:>>34269730
>>34273065Unless you're already in the EU you cant just move someplace to start over. They have to let you in, and every country has immigration laws to keep outsiders from either stealing jobs form locals or going on the dole.
If this sounds stupid, I am sorry. This morning, I was using some tools and accidentally cut myself on my finger. Now I have been on an apathy streak for a while, but this made me feel unbeliavably alive. I wont be cutting myself anytime soon (too pussy) but what are some ways that I can "accidentally" cut myself and feel alive like that again? I need to draw blood like that. It's been 10+ hours and I'm still on that high. You can call me a faggot, gay, retarded, whatever. I just want to feel alive.
>>34267728combat sports. i used to do kickboxing and you get a similar rush. i stopped because i became a perfectionist bitch about it
>>34273568I was seriously considering this, but the possibility of brain damage is absolutely harrowing. Ik I wouldn't kdo it for long enough to actually get that, but A punching bag is enough. Time and money for the possibility of brain damage is not worth it imo. I'd rather shadow box.
>>34267728sometimes when I hit my knee really hard on accident against a table or something like that I miss the way I would hurt myself while skateboarding when I was younger, it's such a nice manly feeling. cutting myself IDK about that though. I don't like cuts but I like bruises. My teachers would always ask me if I got beat up at home rofl
>>34267728Unironically you could start praying and fasting, wanting to cut yourself is influence of evil things. Or just lifting heavy stuff maybe. I used to do it to relieve frustration and seeing blood coming out was sickly satisfying because it meant emotional pain was "coming out".
>>34267728find a spot in nature where its quiet and youll be alone, take a bookbag with some water and fruit of your choice. go walk for a few hours.
I've been playing the violin for about 11 years. Started when I was 17. Despite all my time playing, I think I'm only intermediate but it depends who I compare myself to. Relative to your average adult learner I'm pretty advanced, but relative to classical musicians I'm about ABRSM level 6 or 7 somewhere around there.However I have some serious weaknesses that are holding me up:>Can't sight read at all, and even reading normally is hard, have to read note-by-note>Still haven't learned a real piece all the way through, just parts, usually first few bars and then I give up or lose interest, can't seem to stick with it>I never learned proper scale fingerings, I practice the flesch scale system but find it confusing w respect to fingerings for 3 octave scales, not a lot of detailed information about this online that I've found>My music theory in general just sucksDo you think it's possible to remedy these things despite my age? Sight reading is particularly worrisome because that seems like something you need to start young to get good at. Maybe I should get a teacher?
>>34275165people on mu don't play instruments unfortunately theyre all fl studio ninjas
If you're serious about improving, get private instruction. Tell them up front that you have working knowledge but want to brush up on your fundamentals (scales, fingering, sight reading in that order).Theory isn't necessary unless you want a degree or just want to learn it. You learn that like any other academic subject.As far as learning a "real piece", assuming you are in the US, you go to the music store and ask/look for the high school district/state solo material. Get the audio for that piece, break it up into the movements and practice those. If you can't sight-read then trying to play it through all at once is going to be an exercise in frustration.
>>34275143>Can't sight read at all, and even reading normally is hard, have to read note-by-noteAs an advanced piano player since I was 6, that has been my number 1 problem and killed my desire to play later in adulthood, because it takes 3 months to be able to play anything simple without interruptions.The advantage of this "feature" is that once you learn something, it stays in your muscle memory almost forever. Also, music theory won't help you with that, though I would recommend music theory overall because understanding how music works is interesting and enables you to be able to compose yourself.
>>34275143ive been playing fiddle for around the same amount of time as you. i never learned to read sheet music, have learned hundreds of tunes just by hearing them, internalizing them to the point that they are stuck in my head and i am humming them incessantly and then boom they just flow out naturally. just keep doing your thing. the history of bowed string instruments is massive compared to the tiny spec that is classical technique. hell the baroque era style bows and hold were only a few hundred years ago.
>>34277356>once you learn something, it stays in your muscle memory almost foreverDamn man you nailed it. I can still play the first Scott Joplin piece I ever learned nearly 20 years ago from memory despite not playing it for 5 or more years. But I'm still struggling with a piece that I printed the sheet music for in 2011 -_->music theory won't help you with thattoo true. I can't internalize how chords fit together and improvise something new at will like other seem to effortlessly. Can't create, only copy.
My gf recently broke up with me, so i started thinking about my ex-girlfriends in general. i realized i think about them frequently (i don't feel anything when I do) but does getting over my failed relationships mean forgetting my ex gfs?
>>34277052Every experience serves its purpose in one way or another. Moving on isn't forgetting, as if that's an option anyway; moving on is not letting it control your mind or your life anymore. It's acknowledging the past, but not ruminating on it, and finding a way to be excited, curious or hopeful about what comes next. What's done is done, for the good and the bad it brought you, and the lessons you took from it. What's next is unknown, new, and so you shouldn't carry judgement, pain, anxiety, or fear into the future. Don't let what hurt you before dictate your future. Pain isn't meant to reveal what hurts you about another person, it's to teach you about yourself. Interrogate the pain, and ask not what they did to hurt you, but why it hurt you, and figure out what about yourself the pain is trying to show you. Don't live by it, don't live in fear of it, live with it and let it help you grow.
nah, theres a reason she messaged me and said those things to me. I'll keep the path because her words are not the only thing I hear of us. Soulmates is different than anything else.
>>34277052Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting. You won't forget any of those things that bother you. There's only forgiveness and/or moving past.
