My childhood was a nightmare. I was not fed and was yelled at every day for hours. The longest time I recorded was 3 hours. I will say I was not raped, so it's not too bad.My sister took it much worse than I. She is a single mother in her mid 30s so severely depressed and unhealthy that my 65 year old mom has to take care of her financially, emotionally, and physically. I'm also 90% sure my sister has become my dad and both my sister and dad are abusing and manipulating my mom.Since I was 7, it used to be my own death yearned for but I'm still here.What am I supposed to do to help my mom? She is at my sister's beck and call even after my sister drove her out of the house making my mom cry.
>>34076319If you're on an airplane and there's a catastrophic failure, oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling, and the instructions are to put on your own mask first before you help anyone else. You MUST help yourself first before you help anyone else. If you try to help someone else first, then you are liable to be trapped inside of a mental fog, dazed and confused and unable to see the situation clearly, and so you are liable to make grave mistakes while attempting to help them that only end up hurting everyone involved.Make sure you've already helped yourself before you help your mother, because you won't do her any good if you aren't helping her with a clear head. And when you truly are ready to help her, when you have both internal and external readiness, make sure that you put limits on how far you're willing to go. If she's cold, you can't set yourself on fire just to keep her warm.Talk to a therapist about this. Not just because a therapist has better training and insight than we do, but also because a therapist can be a regular fixture in your life who continues to give you evolving input as your situation evolves too.
>>34076340I think I have healed (enough)? I was away from these people for nearly a decade but I recently moved back.I just try to tell her what they are doing. It took her more than half a decade to finally stop fighting me about it and realize what I've been saying was true all along. She knows now but she is afraid if she leaves my sister will kill herself. Which I highly doubt will happen.I think I am fine. I only text her. But she's basically stuck there. She's got blood in her stool now, possibly from stress from my sister. My dad will not let her come home because he's constantly cheating on her and my sister knows she can make her stay with her "depression".
>>34076319>What am I supposed to do to help my mom? She is at my sister's beck and call even after my sister drove her out of the house making my mom cry.you can't control other people. your mom makes her own decisions. you can take my word for it and try to fix your own life, or you can spend 10 years smashing your head against this problem until the truth sinks in. your call.
>>34076319>I'm also 90% sure my sister has become my dad and both my sister and dad are abusing and manipulating my mom.You need to find out if your niece/nephew is OK. If not, either take care of them or call CPS.But I really think you need to bail on your family. Explain to your sister why you are cutting off contact. Ideally get her to come with you. But get as far from that bad situation as possible.
>>34078263The dude ended up taking the kid he lives with his parents and has a gf now. Should be fine.I mean I did. I already don't talk to my sister. Last I saw her was Thanksgiving 2020. I don't talk to my sister or dad.I am far. It's my mom who's stuck who's not willing to leave.
Hi, it’s really late at night where I am but I just wanted to take this out of my chest and maybe get some advice on how to let go. When I was 8 I moved out to a different state to live with my single senior aunt, I don’t have any problem with her, I’m very thankful for her care and love all these years but she is a hoarder, I lived in a 7 square meters apartment for 10 years of my life and it really changed me to the core, every single wall was covered with something either a bookshelf, pictures or her 40 year old degrees, every centimeter of the apartment was covered with something, even the windows were covered, I lived in darkness for years, I never really had a bed, we shared one or when I was a little older I preferred sleeping on the couch just to have a little more space for myself, the bathroom was the only place where I could have privacy and I remember staying there for hours just to have alone time. Now that I’m older I look back and I feel so bad for my younger self, I always wanted to be a normal girl, have parties or sleepovers at my house, be able to record a video or take a picture of me while in the house, I never wanted to be home, I remember when my mom came from work usually two or three times a month we would stay outside in the car for hours just to not get inside. This is something only two people that are not my family members know about and every time it talk about it I can’t control my tears, I’m not saying it was the end I of the world not having my own bed but living in a hamster cage for 10 years really changed who I am now
>>34079521>Checks out, but that was just 1 incident, probably no context on the scenario made him spiral instead of just move on.Nah there were more incidents and all of them shared the same core theme. When his dad (my grandad) was stationed from home during WW2, or when his siblings frequently tried to commit suicide and almost lost a brother trying to jump out a window, when a severe sickness spread through the slums and specifically pregnant women were dropping dead, the common theme was loss and the fear of loss and losing shit. It got drilled into him that he has to fight against loss and the possibility of losing things. And the shortcut the mind takes to try to achieve that is picking the extreme opposite, hoarding shit and never letting go, whether it's objects or people don't matter what matters at that point in the mind's fight for self preservation is to never "lose" no matter the cost. I got no clue what OP's aunt went through but it tracks that her aunt is or was a doctor. Doctors are typically people who experienced a severe or sudden loss way too early in life. So they obsessed over trying to prevent it and choose to become doctors to gain control over sickness and death. And also they become desensitized to death they stop feeling good or bad about it, they become numb, which ends up making them even better doctors since they won't meltdown when patients die in front of them.
>>34079805>>34079521>Wonder if he can change given the new and more complete sort of "interpretation" of his scenario?Also doubtful. He doesn't trust therapy or therapists or psychiatry and I don't blame him because modern psychiatry is a fucking joke. Most shrinks these days would just label him a controlling narcissist or something made up disorder or label, throw him some pills and some breathing exercises and CDs of whale noises and yoga meditation tapes and call it a day lol. He knows where he gets it from, I told him and he knows but he knows he can't stop it. And I don't think he should either cuz that's just part of who he is, the problem isn't that he hoards. The problem is how he hoards. His big fuck up was hoarding in the house. He should have turned that weakness into a strength and rented out a warehouse or storage facility and hoarded to his heart's content and even turned it into a money maker, like upselling retail or flipping for profit. That way his coping mechanism becomes useful to himself and his loved ones. Modern psychs these days would lie to him, make him gaslight his own instincts and bullshit him into becoming some copy paste cookie cutter "normal person" or some unrealistic fake positive shit.
>>34079820>turned that weakness into a strengthInteresting, I have a similar view (channeling that extraneous energy) - kinda like in the doctor's example they become a doctor, something constructive to sort of prevent the same traumas from happening again. There is some backstory to explain the motive and decision/choice/life path.Everyone should not seek to erase their "traumas" or whatever personalised circumstances but to channel it
>>34079860>Everyone should not seek to erase their "traumas" or whatever personalised circumstances but to channel it.100%, absolutely. Because the brain & the mind is a very robust piece of organic tech. It has clever mechanisms to preserve itself and adapt, which is why humans are the top of the food chain to begin with, adaptation and adapting is our ace up our sleeve. Trauma is the mind adapting to brutal conditions. The things we may get in trauma can either be gifts or curses. What separates the two is how the person uses it. If they refuse to use it and fight it, its a curse. If they accept it and channel it, its a gift.
>>34079943Another thing, the "trauma" bar is so low these days, good times breed weak men tropeNot that one SHOULD seek trauma like a masochist/perma-guilty-self-punishing-sort, but one should still understand say the historical perspectives and be informed, so they can navigate with better understanding, not fall for the same mistakesBut I agree, that sort of "threshold" for when a "trauma" is so bad that it produces all sorts of "excess energy", it's best to investigate/understand/tame/harvest/convert it
I wanna know what you guys would do on my situation:Im 23 years old and I have absolutely lost my capacity for empathy, i cant feel anything for people, even childs, dogs, etc. To put you an example, yesterday I got into a rock climbing accident: where I was belaying a friend and the rope went out of my hand, and he fell to the ground like from 5 meters, he broke his ankle, I drove him to the hospital, and did everything I had to do technically except apologize to him or even say something upbeating to him, I ruined his summer vacations he was about to go to a trip of rock climbing and now he is unable to do anything. The thing is my brother and father started overwhelming me on how I should say something to him, and I know, but I dont feel anything, I barely can feel sorry for him, it sucks I wish it didnt happen.Anyway this is just an example of how emotionally fucked up I am, and how dulled my capacity for empathy and caring for other is. I cant imagine myself having a gf with this incapacity for feeling for others, I can barely talk to people.So yeah, idk what to do, am I some kind of psycho? I wasnt like this as a child, something corrupted me, and I becoming more cold hearted as time goes on, my moral compass is getting more corrupted and diffuse. Should I kill myself before I keep hurting others?
>>34079291Zach, would you kindly stop? Op is signaling directly that he is thinking about ending his life and that his emotions are blocked, that he is suffering, and your advice is for him to go to gym so not to drop ropes in the futureI apologize, but your advice is not just useless, its harmful. As well as whatever you emotionally vomit on people in /how to get women general/It may be hard to hear, but you are making things worse out of your arrogance>>34079288You are semi right, let me make my point clearer. Its not just about travelling, its about changing surroundings to increase neuroplasticity, paired with actual active reprogramming
>>34079379Have you tried approaching it a bit differently?
>>34079469Yes, I professionally help humans to navigate through their lives. Even from extremes states of suicide/heartbreak/loss/addiction/betrayal/rape/torture/abuse/sexual deviancy/depression into healthy and fulfilling life we all hope to live tomorrowI wouldn't advise anything I didnt live through myself, or what didnt help others
We don’t need 4-5 suicide threads a day t b h
>>34079108You speak about having a girlfriend, being alienated, inability to form relationships... Why?You're clearly internally oriented, yet you're waiting on external stimulus to fix your "boredom".You're not bored because your surroundings don't entertain you, you're clearly empty on the inside.No one will fill that emptiness for you. Neither will drugs. Neither will a psychologist. Nothing external will. Not with your approach at least.And especially not a trip to Bali like that fuckass is suggesting.You need to start seeing things differently.
Unsure whether or not this girl is hitting on me>begin uni>party>same girl randomly compliments me three times on how I dress, also has a thing for specific watches>she always smiles when she looks at me, with a grin (I know it's genuine because her eyes are also little closed when she smiles)>at first I believe that she's onto me, ask friend if she also talks in high pitched voice towards him and he says "yeah she does that". Learn that she apparently has a boyfriend and has a thing with another guy going already but not confirmedffw few weeks>we don't have much contact but lately she asks me a lot for help, take it as she's just using me (lol)>need I mention she starts convos more than I do>help her, she deeply appreciates it and she tries her best to help me back and looks like she feels genuinely sad when she can't help me back>sometimes we talk about random stuff and chats look equal (not like I'm the only one putting in the effort in the convos)>heart reacts to a lot of my messages which doesn't look like a particular sign to me, just a sign of agreeing with me>sometimes when we have a convo going up and she gives shorter answers, I feel like I'm interrupting her>she still smiles at me every time she sees me but it just looks like she's trying to be friendlywhat do you think
>Learn that she apparently has a boyfriend and has a thing with another guyEven if she was the answer has to be no
>>34077661Answer has to be no to the fact she's into me or that she has a thing with other guy (and her boyfriend) going?
>>34077640good rule of thumb opif you are unsure it means she is NOT hitting on you
I'm a fairly obsessive person, I think. I met this one girl on here, and I miss her. She's going through some issues now, so she blocked everyone indiscriminately without regard for friendships. I try to move-on, but I'm kinda attached and worried. I'm starting to wonder if it would be best for my mental-state to just disengage/move-on from her. She has a blog that she writes on somewhat frequently, so that's not really helping if I can just read it. I was moving vaguely near her for unrelated, coincidental reasons, so I thought we'd eventually be closer friends.Hope she's okay, even if she really just decided that she's better off without 4chan in her life.What should I do, Anons? I know it's pretty pathetic, but I'll take advice.
>>34079664Think of it as a celebrity crush, and realise that she's probably unattainable to you, and slutting it up with about 4 guys right now, women are whores and shallow like that.
>>34079664Plus I'd know, I can relate to a first love being someone you can never reach, it sucks and it's hard, but you'll have to fill the void with something else.
Ignore Your bullshit
how do i know if i have a testicular torsion?
I don't know because I'm a girl. Let me tell you however, my period cramps are stabbing me in the back right now. Ouch.
>>34075267>How are you supposed to call an ambulance and open the door for the paramedics in a situation like this?you dont you just die.
>>34070907Interstitial cystitis
>>34070968>>shittiest board on this websiteThe "shittiest," you say?
You would be in immense pain. Like vomiting pain. If it’s twisted, you might have bell clappers. It’s where the membrane that’s meant to keep it from twisting isn’t there. As long as there’s blood flow, you should be fine. I’d still go to the doctors tho, speaking from personal experience
So you're saying women are sexual objects that only go to the men willing to learn how to obtain them?
>>34078974Its a self-fulfilling 4chan autistic sperglord contradiction. 4chan virgins say they want a trad waifu who doesn't have tattoos and didnt sleep around and has no daddy issues and isn't BPD and is demure and submissive but they also want to treat women like dumb objects. Ironically, the only women with self-esteem low enough to allow themselves to be treated like dumb objects are slutty bpd girls with face tattoos and daddy issues. Funny aint it?
>>34079171The girls glasses looks like I can get along with her, talk to her about interesting subjects, her like me as a person
>>34079127>So then why do they make porn and have such sexy body's? Explain that one einsteinWomen typically don't make porn, they star in porn. Their pimps and handlers make the porn the guy with the camera the guy who owned the website domain, he collects most of the $$$. The woman gets a cut. And the reason women have such sexy bodies is because you are a man and you are attracted to women you find it sexy because your base level animal part of your brain wants you to have sex with the opposite gender so you can maybe multiply that's just how it works for humans and animals. If you were born a faggot you'd not say women "have such sexy bodies". Also reality is that 1% or less of all women will do porn or any type of "sex work" aka prostitution, receiving money for sex. But the reason it seems to (you) like most or all women do this is because the only women you bother to look at are the whores you fap to online. The ones who take clothes off for a camera. You should stop using the internet before it rots your brain
>>34079833>Their pimps and handlersThe 1970s called. They want their bullshit anti-porn rhetoric back.
Is it a good idea to take in a cute homeless girl? There's a girl I see on my way to work everyday. Sometimes I give her money and she smiles and says nice things to me.I'm thinking of asking her to move in in my spare room. There would be conditions like she has to shower and keep her place clean.Thoughts?
>>34078582don't, i never went this far, but i got scammed online by a girl who claimed she was homeless but in reality was "kind of homeless", at the very beginnings of a fent addiction, and her boyfriend was trying to get her off the shit before he totally kicked her to the curb. at this point, she could very well be dead. only lost $150 bucks, but i look at homeless people completely different these days. they all have stories. all of them are sad, but a lot of them are complete bullshit.
>>34079831Offer food instead of cash. If they only want cash, chances are they did it to themselves and just want to get high. But if they accept food, it's very likely they're just in a shit situation. It's how the good homeless and the druggie homeless are differentiated in my city.
>>34079835I've seen a homeless druggie accept food, act grateful, say "God bless" to the charitable soul who gave the bag of food items and then gets up and goes and pawns off the food to other homeless people for $$$ and then gets the drug money that way lol. The way I differentiate the good homeless from the bad is by finding out whether or not they were offered shelter or housing and figuring out how they responded. The legit homeless people I knew, the kens who didn't do drugs, they were offered housing but declined it, they chose homelessness on purpose. The druggies didn't even bother signing up for the offer, they got no idea how and don't care to know how. The legit homeless guy I knew rejected housing because he was scared of being alone in a home by himself. He was an ex army vet who came home to find out his wife and two kids died in a house fire. So he never wants to go back home. The druggies homeless people don't give a shit about finding shelter really, and they don't want the responsibility because it means spending drug money on rent
>>34079841It's different here. When offering food, you go with the homeless person to the place (often just some simple fast food) or you bring it back to them and sometimes sit with them and eat together while talking about whatever. Some of them are quite lonely and feel shitty enough as it is, so it's a nice thing people do here for them.
>>34078582Don't she'll rob you and or has a homeless bf too
Ever since the covid hoax I stopped interacting with the goyim cattle. I just look through them and pretend they don't exist. I don't even greet them or acknowledge their presence. I'm not staring either, I'm just looking straight through them as if they weren't there.My life has significantly improved. I am at peace
>>34076338>I am at peaceand yet you can't fight the compulsion to post this every day.
>>34076604Triggered (you) Checkmate gaytheist
>>34076338Good for you. Get the fuck off of 4Chan then.
>>34079760Way to necrobumping faggito
My ex got caught trying to have sex with someone underaged.What do I make of this? I'm still trying to process it..
>>34079383The normal reaction is to be shocked and to laugh at how fortunate you are to not end up with such a loser. Beyond that, nothing, unless you were underaged when you started dating or something.Many predators aren’t exclusively attracted to children, they just pursue children when the opportunity arises.
>>34079440Past tense, it doesn't effect you any more
>>34079440>>was"Was" tells you everything you need to know about the situation. You dodged a bullet, good job.
>>34079383Hot.
>>34079440>Well I was dating him?this isn't a counterpoint. im with the other anon, i fail to see how this is your problem. let him rot and be happy you dodged a bullet.
No matter how much I try to work hard, job and freelance at the same time I never get ahead. I didn't manage to get what I want, no wife or kids. Recently the small company I worked with failed and we all got fired for economic reasons. Should I give up on everything and accept failure and let it all rot? Why should I contribute to this society?
>>34073108I won't read threads that are just a whine rather than a request for advice.
>>34073108Are you asking whether you should kys? I mean, I don't know. Sorry. I just like bumping random unpopular faggot threads.
>>34076742Yet you reply. People here usually vent and that's ok. I really don't like people like you, constantly looking down on others.Op, obviously you should keep trying, there is no other road. God bless you.
>>34079783Thanks I appreciate you. God bless
>be me, university>hang out with this dude during class, better than being alone (but not by much)>don't stay in contact after>last couple months he's been trying to speak to me again>we hang out/play games once a fortnight nowProblem is he's so fucking dull. I dread spending time with him and only do it out of obligation. I don't want to be rude because he's generally a well mannered guy but holy fuck he's boring. He's also sort of miserable and self-depreciating which makes me feel bad cause I don't want to hurt his feelings. Am I a bad person for thinking this way?What do anons
>>34077751>>be me, universityyou can't be a university though. universities can't post online
>>34078653>this nigga this dumb
>what doit is what it is. at least he has good manners, so thats that. maybe ask him why or tell him how you perceive him, if you want to know?unfortunately the bulk of ppl nowadays is boring, but it is their right to be that way.let them be.
>>34077751Maybe you gotta get him outta the shell. I have had the rare experience of working with boring fucks for years but, when I got bad news from the doctors, I started fucking with everyone, asking what happens when we die, or what kind of animal would they have sex with, if they had to pick one, and I called out the CEO for making us pay more for shittier health. People that I found boring for years stopped being boring and people that never talked to me started bugging me. It may be better to let boring dogs lie, if you do not wanna open a can of worms.
I'm the dude in the OP.The reason we are full is because every single time I've tried to do, say something interesting I've been mocked, laughed and beaten up like a dog. So yeah, I'm not your personal clown.
How come I can be sexually attracted to other women to the point it's a real problem for me and I think I'm a lesbian, but then I'll see some guy in a bookstore or at the gas station and think "I FUCKING LOVE MEN"? I'm not a coomer brain either, so that's not the cause. I just wish it was one or the other, because liking both is a problem
>>34078156You are bisexual. You get to have the best of both worlds.
>>34078183I don't find it a blessing. What it's really like is me finding random girls attractive and knowing there's no possibly way. And then I'm also afraid of being on a date with a guy, or having a boyfriend, and suddenly being attracted to a girl. It's hell.
>>34078227Femcel. Join me and we'll be losers together.
>>34078227Also just be poly? If you're afraid of having feelings for someone while you're already in a committed relationship, resort to finding a fag who will consent to a poly relationship instead. I don't fucking know, I've never even held hands before.
I looked it up and it doesn’t exist. I thought there was r34 of everything. PLEASE where do I find it (it’s a character from a Japanese game)
>>34078756I guess you're right except I can't draw. Is there a NON worksafe requests page here
>>34078767Oh LOL i found it i will update you people if it works
I thought women weren't gooners
>>34078891You thought wrong, cel.
>>34078769Tell me the character and I can judge you. Chances are I'll know him.
Hi, Im a guy in my early 20s working in a corporate environment with no end in sight. I have a good bachelor's degree, looking to get a masters next year. However, I'm just so depressed thinking I will have to do this wage slave shit forever. I'm willing to take all risks in the universe not to be in this position. I have some intelligence and creativity and would love to content create on ytb etc. Yet, I feel very nauseous when I think about how of a risk this truly is: if it all fails I'm doomed, becasuse very few people actually make it in avenues where creativity is at the forefront.
>>34076654Fake having a disabilityhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKIaHJvlR6s
>>34076654The US Army is always hiring, son!
>>34076654Create content on youtube before you decide what flavor of slavery you want to be your 24/7 life. You might suck or lose interest when you actually have to do youtube for money.
Yeah, same here OP. I realized early on that I dont wanna fucking work only for my money to disappear into thin air for taxes, rent and other bullshit. Homelessness or off grid cabin life it is.
>if it all fails I'm doomedAccording to your post you're already doomed, so if you failed you wouldn't have lost anything except maybe a bit of time which as far as risk taking in your 20s go you can afford
