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16 replies and 6 images omitted. Click here to view.
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fuck off r/4chan
I did the same thing but it didnt work
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pls include me in the screencap

reddit samefag

I gained 15 lbs since January, I was actually looking half decent with a flat stomach, Im trying to get back in shape now and need quick results plz advise
Self bump
Start eating at a deficit
Alright so I'm a fat, lazy, weak, piece of shit. I'm too nervous to go the gym and start working out and have decided to start to get in shape at home. I'm too weak and pathetic to do normal push ups. So which are better, wall or knee push ups? Despite the fact I'm talking shit about myself I'm dead serious. I want to get in shape and stop being this pathetic fat fuck
You would have to do a lot of them and lose weight so you can to real ones
Read the fucking sticky

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This is not strictly fitness related but how do i transform from a skinny beta nerd who is even scared to text girls to one of you guys?

im 21 and tired of wasting my life playing videogames. Im lifting and trying to eat more but its so difficult because i feel sick so often and have a condition meaning my knees are shot so cant squat.

i try to use apps like tinder and stuff but hardly get any resoponses.

In real life approaching girls my body starts shaking and i feel nauseous, obviously im a virgin. basically I want to change my life because im sick of thi fucking shit. at this point unless shit changes I wanna kill myself.
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one thing that helped me alot with girls is >>42965910
when i first transitioned from beta to alpha(not really the most alpha but can get laid now thank god) i had confidence issues. after i while i learned to say fuck it and never took no as an answer. at some point it starts to lose it's meaning. girls like assertive men so if they reject you keep pounding at it. best advice i can give really that's what helped me
There's a fine line between "no means yes" and "no means no". Follow the rule of 3, like a fairy tale. If she says no 3 times she's probably serious. Otherwise lay a little pressure on; she might be waiting for you to get her to crack.

Note the general body language though. If she's looking at you like you pissed all over her Christmas presents, then don't try a second and third time.
I like this analogy.
if she says no, just say something like
>no problem, was gonna see if we could cancel anyway. Had something else planned
you'll be hearing from her very soon.
Have done this. Can confirm.

Once in a while if I need to be busy and I don't have any projects/work to do or I'm just feeling lazy, I'll drive around town and listen to some new music so any mutual friends of ours can't give away the fact that I'm actually dicking around.

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What are some good fitness?
What are some good fitness?
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Is some good fitness

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Is this a body type I and all guys should aspire to?(see video). I've noticed guys who look like this have had increased sucess in picking up women. How do I get a body like that?
Stop promoting your shitty channel.
Not my channel, just an example of a guy whos got the body type I'm referring to
WHY the fuck would you WANT man tits? That dude has serious gyno!

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Can't stand this cunt...
Why? I don't know much about him.
hes a cocky cunt

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What is the minimum level of /fit/ to achieve a chubby Mexican Girl like this?
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>5. get Tinder
what if i don't have any friends and haven't had a pic taken of me in years?
>can't just take pictures of himself
This. And what if I haven't talked to another human being in so many months I'm not even sure my voice works anymore. I had put "Hey You, Pikachu" for N64 the other day and I almost passed out from the panic of speaking. Don't worry, I text my mom for money and tendies.
this would have been funnier if you used a lowercase a

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What happens if your traps fail before your legs on heavy above the knee rack pulls?

if you're doing 1 inch ROM with straps and your legs are really strong relative to your traps, could you eventually reach a point where your traps couldn't support the weight that your legs push 1 inch off the floor? Would you tear your traps or something else? How do you know if the weight on rack pulls is too much? I know the traps are really strong, but so are legs especially when doing 1-7 inch rom
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I don't think you can tear your traps unless you fuck up really bad. You will just drop the bar from muscle exhaustion like with any other muscle.
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your traps cant drop tho, you could only drop it by caving in the legs or stomach, or by letting go of your grip.
Your core will collapse because your nervous system will not allow you to output force that is dangerous to your body. Same reason you can't just rip your arm off by pulling something very hard.
Yeah that's what I meant, you hinge the hips just like when you unrack it.
proof that manlets can make it
should be /fit/s idol

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Must be pretty embarrassing when Jason can piss his underwear and still be more of a chad than 90% of /fit/
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no it piss
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>taking pygeum for kidneys
>leak precum like a faucet even when not horny
>mom asked if i pissed myself first time she noticed
>couldnt tell her it was precum so now my mom thinks i'm incontinent and suggested diaper briefs
Dat aint pee
Dat squirt
Jizz on her pillow. She'll get the message then.
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why is he always pissing himself?

all that crew live in filth it seems like, did you ever see that video of Lenny's house? hoarder level filth

*takes the only vacant power cage just before you get there*
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>nice chair, why don't you use my face next?

getting some mgtow vibes from you lad. who hurt you
You're talking to more than one person lad. When I said somewhere else, I meant somewhere else in the gym, like on a cable machine which is they're actually meant for, not in a power rack. She's obviously in the wrong but maybe if you keep making excuses for her she'll be ur gf :3

"ahem" *clears throat* "You do realize that due to your handicapped situation that you will struggle to find a long term partner in a relationship, right? You see, most other guys will get frustrated after awhile not being able to do normal couple things and having to cater to your extra needs. It's okay though, because that wouldn't be something I'd do. *winks charasmatically* I could be there for you forever. I will push your chair to wherever you want to go, just tell me what to do and I will make sure it happens. Whenever we do the Sex I will be gentle with you, whenever you want it just roll to the bed and climb out of your chair. Lay there with your hands by your side and I will come running to deliver you pleasure."
fucking lol was waiting for something like this

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Quick post your /fit/ programs ITT:
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Weightlifter, when not with coach:

(Everything is supersetted with light rows or low rep chins unless its a back exercise)

Front or Back Squat to Heavy single, double, triple, or, occasionally, 5
Some kind of heavy row 3x10
Some clean or snatch pull variation, intensity and deadlift vs clean pull vary, sometimes use thick bars
OHP/Bench, hit 5/3/1 once a week w/ FSL
If OHP, pushups/dips variation, if Bench, overhead variation, 10-15 reps at RPE ~7
Some type of strongman exercise for lower body, high rep deadlifts or squats, loaded carries, not strongman but prowler, etc.
Any calves or arms, just based on feel, don't really care much, if its a Friday I'll probably do arms though, gotta live the Chad life

That's generally what it looks like if I'm left to my own without a coach.
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dumbell press 5x5
tricep isolation 4x whatever the fuck
front raises 4 x whatever the fuck

pullups 5x5
planks 4x 1:00
face pulls 4x whatever the fuck
lateral raises 4x whatever the fuck
rear delt flys 4x whatever the fuck
bicep isolation 4 x whatever the fuck

zercher squats 5x5
good mornings 4x 10

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Azn thread

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hey bois
new to cheffing
I hear cabbage is really healthy, does it matter how I cook it?
I was planning to use it in a stir fry
2 replies omitted. Click here to view.
It does matter. If you want to preserve the nutrients, a stir-fry is sub-optimal and you'll lose quite a bit of the nutrients. The best way for cabbage is to saute it in veggie/chicken broth for 5 minutes at low-medium heat. At the end, it should be softer but still have a slight crunch to it. This is the way that will reap the most nutritional reward.
fuggg mate that's so much more difficult
i mean what if i'm not making broth
what should I be stir frying then?
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Honestly bro?
fuck off, i wasn't talking to you
at least i dont think i was
No need to be a snappy brappy

Best exercises to reduce loose skin/fat on your stomach?

Best products to fade stretch marks?
7 replies omitted. Click here to view.
just fast
didn't you read my post, i'm a fatass. i can't do anything fast.
Does loose skin affect your dick?
Only in that women won't like it
As for the loose skin, you aren't going to get rid of it. Sorry to have to tell you, but you have to realize it eventually. There aren't any bullshit creams or exercises or anything to make it go away. It might tighten up a little in few years, but not much. Accept the fact that you were a fat fuck and move on. There's nothing you can do to change it, so don't stress it. Putting on some muscle will make it less noticeable

As for the stretch marks, give it some time. They'll fade, trust me. They won't go away completely though, so you could see a dermatologist about it if it really bothers you that much.

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I work 60 hours/12 hours a day from mon-friday and I usually only consume about 500-1000 calories due to not being hungry at all for some reason yet having tons of energy. On the weekends I totally binge, as if all of those calories were finally showing up. Can any relate?
2 replies omitted. Click here to view.
I would imagine some hunters 200000 years ago would only feast once in a while when they got prey
I thought that bottle with the orange shit in it said ''dick suckers'' for a second.

it may as well

I mean,,,an adult "man" decided to buy a bottle of diet orange soda
If you want to up your calories during the week just get a small bag or something with a few ounces of mixed nuts. 3 ounces has 500 calories. Literally an entire meal.
this, nuts are pretty crazy for calories, taste way better than shakes

>be me
>set stuff down on a bench in locker room
>nobody else in locker room
>old man walks out from shower
>places his stuff right next to me
>drop his towel to floor
>lets his old mozzarella testicles loose
>all of this is happening right next to me in a big ass empty locker room

How have old men not become banned from the locker room yet?
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Only if you want to be a Real Ass Dude (tm)
This is how I know most /fit/izens are betafags. Playing a sport in school you see teammates dicks since 12 or 13. To be ashamed of your body or of seeing someone else's is a red flag for insecurity. You faggots need to stop worrying so much and stop giving a fuck. So what if old fat geezers hang around? It's nice to hang around a while after showering; it feel's good. Stop being pussy faggots.
settlw down puertorican rattlesnake
This isn't worrying about being seen naked or even being naked. This is about disgusting fucking faggots getting their jollies tickled by perving on people in the fucking locker room.

Does Stacy the secretary really blow you?

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