Isn't there another gioyc thread?

>>33584805
im so tired of people thinking im something other than just me, im tired of people not actually confronting me and ruining every opportunity ive ever had, it makes me bitter to the core and everytime it happens i want to put them in my shoes like a sims character but i know that would be fruitless and in the end, an abuse of everything i stand for.

>>33584820
This one is better because the title makes it easy to search.

My father died 7 years ago and I found an exact copy of him only he's my age. I've been with him for almost two years and I can't stop to think how wrong this is and we should break up because we honestly have nothing in common and he doesn't get my autism. My heart aches. I can't live without him, but I can't continue with him either. I don't know what to do.

>>33584852
That's weird, break up, that guy doesn't deserve that

Heavily cringing at my younger self holy shit lol I should have been gatekept from things

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>>33584805
I keep thinking of you and I keep going through these cycles of being okay and then suddenly not.
I'm fighting hard, yet I have a lot of self-destructive tendencies clearly on display.
I want to apologise to you, for leaving you, abandoning you, but I just didn't know what else to do in the situation, you hurt my heart so much, I told you how much it hurt me, yet you kept pushing me away, relegated me to once a week call, accused me of using you for sex, I remember the tension, the resentment, the stress, what else can you do but leave before you're pushed off the cliff? In hindsight, it's easy to see you had made your choice to mentally clock out who knows how long before I actually left.
I remember you telling me playing that game we played together "saved our relationship", I should have pushed on that, asked why you wanted to end it, because in spite of all of it A... I don't know why I still love you, I proposed to you and meant every word, I love remembering your pretty face, your gorgeous smile, your charming little accent, I wanted to marry you, be so enchanted with you.

I hate how little I have gotten over you after all this time. I hate how frequently you come back into my head, I hate how I can't seemingly put the memory of you away.

I know you don't care about how much better I'm doing, I know you're just fine without me, but I want you to know that all I wanted, in my heart of hearts was to rest my head in your chest and have you in my arms, just once. Just to be able to whisper how much I loved you.

I did love you, I still do somehow, I hope I move on, I know I fight in everything I do.

>>33584884
He actually deserves much better than me, he just wants a partner who will go to family meetings with him and have a good time and I can't even do such a simple thing.

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>>33584805
yes, i am in pain. It doesnt stop to hurt, and i dont know how to live. but most of all, im just terribly, awfully and truly sorry.

I've been physically uncomfortable due to extreme suicidal ideation. I've been dysfunctional in my day to day activities.
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm ready to admit defeat and kill myself but I'm shitting myself out of fear of going to hell for suicide.
What have I done to deserve this? Please God at least let me terminate myself, I can't keep going on with this any longer

Yes you. The person reading this. And the person writing this.

You and I are both beluga whales.

>>33585134
dont fat shame me

She told me she stopped seeing a guy because she's just constantly busy and she takes things extremely slow in relationships. But she's almost always free to go to the gym or go out for drinks with me.
I get what's going on but I really just wanted a friend.

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So, I think I just lost my mom and only have a mother left.
>get deployed at 19, come back depressed
>mom sees I have 20-30k saved up from my deployment
>suggests I invest in a house with her
>give her 20k, she puts in 15k
>she rents the house out, I agree to have the money to help family
>fast forward 16 years, of her getting rent, the house is now worth over 250k
>my life has turned out better and am I in the position where I am about to get married and will want for a good home with my future wife who will be working as a postdoc. Me as a cybersecurity fag
>ask if we can sell the house so we can buy one here, and we'll send her more than what shes getting from her tenants
>shoots me down instantly, saying that "if you guys want something nice that you should work for it like we (her and my dad did)"
>I said that she would still be taken care of by me, she doubled down and said that the car they bought me (which at the time they said was a gift when i moved cross country, after I made multiple attempts to refuse it) should have been enough to cover my "investment"
>she tried to say that I told her she could it all when I was 20, so 16 years ago
To be honest, it's not even the money, it's more that for my entire life she always touted how she would always help us. My sister lives with her, pays only 6k a year in "rent" in a house that my brother paid off. They had cars and debt paid for over 10-20 thousand. And yet, I'm the only one she's told that those were not gifts.
My siblings make way more, and live closer but somehow I'm the one that is at fault for having responsibilities that I can't simply leave to go visit as I don't any of their help.
It sucks as I had always respected her. Always held her with regard. I'm not sure what to feel today. I'm at loss.

No, I don't have to live with my mistake. I don't have to live here with you in the middle of fucking nowhere. I don't have to live in your lies and work arounds to make me stay.

Finally ended, forever, my relationship.
Its bittersweet, but for the best. And I know I will be alright, that there's no point in worrying about the future. But the sinking feeling of the moment... feels bad.
And its normal. It will pass. I wish I wasn't going through this, but that is how like is. You don't always get what you want, but sometimes, you get what you need, and this is what I need right now.

Just wanted to externalize it here.

To the mistake I made choosing The lie I fell for for years
Trapped ruminations inside these walls
Where I ask questions I already know the answers to
Why do I feel sick every time I look at my hands.
Why when I take off I feel free, like there is hope again.
Thoughts of the other path
My dream far away from here
Why I get Butterflies in my stomach thinking of The one I lost years ago
what his kiss feels like running into his arms when I see him for the first time
Far away from here.
In a place where I am free from The one who trapped me here's voice
The one who when I look across the room and see is searching for the words to lock me inside.
Walking outside is just as much a prison.
Middle of nowhere

>>33585259
Eventually you'll learn to forgive her but you'll have to always remember the lessons.
I kind of had the same thing happen to me. When I was 19 I had about $50,000 saved up in investments and my dad convinced me to sell it all and buy a house to rent out and he'll pay me back in a few months.
It took him about 5 years to pay me back. 0% interest on it all and those stocks I had would've been worth millions now.

>>33585298
Yeah that this point the only thing I can really gather is that I can't ask for help from my mother. Nor, that I should accept a "gift" from her.
It sucks but it shattered the image I had of her that I allowed to be built from her telling me she was always there.
Her giving me the boomer answer of "fuck you I have mine" was something that I never thought I would have to worry from her.
It's a confusing thing that at some point my dad jumped into the conversation to simply say "I'm sorry, I don't know why she's doing this". I could hear the pain and desperation in his voice.

Accidentally dropped coffee all over. Had to change my pants. I will blame this on my mother because she is a bitch and should've been dv'd :)

Look; you don’t understand. They have a lot of random-ass buildings like that out in the open everywhere. Here in Los Angeles; we have a goddamn Freemason lodge that I used to pass every schoolday in sixth grade. I wasn’t even sure what it was until somebody on the internet pointed out, “dude, there’s totally a Freemason lodge in the middle of Los Angeles that hardly anyone ever talks about.”

>>33584839
gee thanks for killing mine

>>33585584
I didn't even bake the thread. Take notes for next time pussy.

I am so fucking stressed out

I'm realising why I hate therapy and why I detest the people who recommend it here, I keep thinking coming back here will solve my issues, or take the burden off.
I find in actuality I'm re-litigating the pain, reopening the wound, reliving the trauma every single time I want to ease the burden, lessen the cross I need to bear, I'm only deepening and deepening my own scars.
Heed my words Anons.

I need a creep to taunt like a brat daughter

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Please give your thoughts and advice

I wasted the opportunity of a lifetime. I had three FREE years of Community college in California and 3 years of post 9-11 GI bill given to me by my dad and after the past 6 years, I am only just NOW about to graduate with a degree that I am already regretting; zoology

I try to find comfort by reminding myself that COVID-19 utterly ruined my direction and motivation in life and made half of the free community college purely online, which it did, but it doesn't erase the fact that it still spurred me.

After those three years of community college, I moved with my parents to our homestate and I received an acceptance letter from a big University. I was really hesitant to accept it as I did not know exactly what I want but my mother INSISTED that not accepting it right then and there would be the worst mistake of my life

As I worked through college, I shifted from pursuing the degree that I applied for, physics, over to my "dream" degree, zoology. Truth be told, if I was guaranteed employment in the field and a good pay at that, I would have no regrets, but I am already doubting that I will find any worthwhile job besides shoveling elephant shit

There's potential light at the end of the tunnel. My dad was accepted with 100% disability and I now have 36 months of chapter 35 benefits. I already have plenty of stem credits. Should I say fuck it and re-enroll upon graduation to earn a second bachelors in engineering?

Good news, I found my bracelets.

>>33585634
i would do engineering

>>33585394
When they're old, toss her ass in a nursing home and give the weak old man some peace and maybe take care of him a bit

>>33585124
If you do it, it's always better to take some enemies with you
But don't do it. It's not the right time

When did it start? Maybe if you get to the start you can find out the root cause

2 days left
Boss/uncle doesn't want me
All this vacation time for nothing
I find out she's with this dude
I never get the chance to party
My friend offers to bring me somewhere and I clam up
I'm watching reruns and not getting sleep
I'm done with life, I just live for a paycheck to take care of my dying family
A little love, that is too much to ask for.

I’m paralyzed

No, I don't have to live with my mistake. I don't have to live here with you in the middle of fucking nowhere.

Why was it you, marina?
Why did you mess me up?
We've become strangers now
Observe someone else, leave me be
If you won't, just talk to me

When I look up from my phone at you I only see a mistake. The reason I spend so much time in my phone is to escape from you.

I looked in the mirror. I need to wash my hands

I knew she was faking being a lesbo and she's still a cunt. I feel bad for what's her face.

You gave me shame, anger, pain, doubt, scars, loss, and I gave you rejection.

>>33585879
Yikes.

Is it possible to gain self-esteem when you have none, get rid of learned helplessness, and get rid of an inferiority complex? I basically think I'm subhuman, incapable of doing anything right, and inferior and worthless compared to everyone else. Everyone else is human and capable and I don't see myself as being worthy enough to be around them and make friends or try dating or have sex. I never leave my house. I'm too afraid to talk to people online too. It just feels like it's over and I'm fucked
t. virgin in my 30s with no friends

>>33585134
How many are out there and who is hunting the whales. . .

>>33585979
You

>>33585955
I'm sure this story has happened.

Do little girls actually exist? I went outside the other day and saw no little girls and ultimately concluded that there are no little girls, nor were there ever any. Of course: logic dictates that I simply didn’t see any girls the last time I went outside because it was, like, 3 AM on a weekday. But deep down I know: it’s a conspiracy. The North Korean government fabricated any memories of me seeing little girls before Last Thursday.

>>33586318
오늘 하나 봤어요
걱정하지 마세요

>>33586318
Unbelievable

>>33586318
We do exist! We are just hiding from you specifically, and only you.

I really need to make money... i really need advice about it... any way to make money online, e-commerce or whatever? appreciate it

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>It's another "wife bought some stupid build-it-yourself" puzzle bullshit with 1000 little pieces and got upset that I don't want to put it together episode.
I've been literally buying this chick things all year so she could afford the little business she wants this for, and now she's saying she feels broken because I didn't even want to try.

Spoiler: I did. I just sorted the 1100 pieces into their types and that alone made me want to bang my head into a fucking wall. She wants me to do this in a few hours, but the notion of touching it at all during her days off means "I won't have time to relax!"

Oh, the kicker, I literally offered to do it with her tomorrow. It goes layer by layer, so we could literally build the layers in pairs and stack them as we go. Just stone walls me and tells me to throw it away because she doesn't even care anymore.
She always says "you can tell me no" when she asks for something, but I've found that it's an empty platitude. I told her that, too, and now she says she's crying at work. What's more, she's normally a rational person, but when I shut some bullshit like this down she starts talking like one of our batshit mothers. "You didn't even try!!!" That's what my hoarder crackhead mother used to say whenever she did some stupid shit like sent her teenager under the moldy house to fix the pipes. I'm plenty apt enough that I don't need to prove myself to some indignant overseer.

What happened that turned me into what I am now. The people that are physically around me, the place I am and choices I have made make me look like this, fugly. When I look at myself I feel that.

You know that fat that wobbles under my arm? Don't worry about that. At least I'm happy.... Not

I fell in love with a muslim girl and I had to choose between becoming a muslim like her so we could marry and have a real relationship or following my passions which is art and music (which I would have to give up because its forbidden in Islam)

So I had to run away from the relationship.. but I miss her all the time what am I to do… Im also kinda atheist too.

>>33586025
You don't believe me?

>>33586519
NTA, but, how did this happen? How was your upbringing and stuff?! Too afraid to talk to people online is something.

>>33586418
Blue collar stuff. You sit around waiting for the money to flow into your account for the hour, and you'll be waiting for fucking ages. You go do real work and get real results, make real things, and someone's going to pay you for it.

I recommend delivery. I deliver and install furniture and beds. Money's good and it's engaging. You'll develop customer service skills, because you realize that there's a goal here, and that you have to say certain things to the customer, project certain attitudes, to reach it.

Could be the start of something bad, sadly.

Man I really hate myself

just had sex, i love pussy

fuck you

>>33586519
I meant people have been like you then their lives changed

Things are getting sukoshi better

it's over.

>>33586526
I don't know, I've always been an isolated loner as far as I can remember. My therapist thinks I might have avoidant personality disorder on top of other issues

>>33586635
Like who?

>>33586654
Probably lots of historically unknown persons. Who cares. Literally just get your life together and find things you like doing.

>>33586654
You don’t know how your upbringing was? Did you live near other kids? For example, when i was growing up, there was kids on my street and the next streets over I was friends with. We all formed a friend group, and it carried me into grade school where I branched out and met other friends. What happened with you? What’s your relationship with your parents like? What are they like?

>>33584805
so today she told me we should just stay friends
we had sex a couple times, but she has a bf
I don't know why I thought I could just come a break a one year and some months relationship with money and being a simp.
I mean at least we fucked I guess, but I was really in love with her, after 5 years of feeling nothing for no one (and I met pretty and kind girls these past couple of years, but I just couldn't feel a thing), I fell for her like a 16 falls for her class crush, it was intense, I had anxiety for weeks on end.
maybe the stink of anxiety is what threw her off? I seem to remember she was so into me the first couple of dates
but she told me she wasn't planning on leaving the bf even back then
man I hate this all, how can I get over her, we're still gonna see each other, we still have a lot of business pending

i'm losing my fucking mind

Fuck you Colton. Every single thing you do, whether it's space, ignoring, criticizing, whatever it's all word vomit to get me to smile and when it doesn't work then you try to convince me that it's all my fault with somehow that I'm a bad person and I'm just like you which is complete dog shit. I'm nothing like you and the worst mistake I've ever made is being in the same room as you. That's all I can think about every time I see you is washing all of this shit off my hands.

I looked at a photo of me then. I was happy. I was pretty. I was hopeful.

I look into the mirror now. I am sad. I am stressed. I am anxious. I am upset. I am mentally distressed. I am tired. I am physically unhealthy. I look ugly. I look fat.

What happened that turned me into what I am now. The people that are physically around me, the place I am and choices I have made home make me look like this, I'll have made me visually worse. When I look at myself I feel that.

>>33586651
Listening to the songs I can't listen to anymore because it's over.

When I look up from my phone at you I only see a mistake. The reason I spend so much time in my phone when I'm in the same room as you is to escape from you

I had suspicious that someone was stalking me online on my "anonymous" blog. I had an idea of who it was but I had no proof, so I decided to make a suicidal post as bait and it worked, she texted not long after the post.
If I ever see her again I'll punch her

I'm tired of living in this house with you. I'm tired of mentally grabbing all of my shit to leave. I'm tired of everything here and I'm just done with it. However I time it I'm just going to do it all in one movement, grab all my shit leav

>>33586726
I feel very bad about this but I don't want to start my own thread about this, I don't think it merits one
any advice for this kind of heartbreak, never had one before, my previous heartbreaks weren't after I was already intimate with a girl but didn't get to any romantic stage.

i frequently dream about having sex with my sister

>>33587239
i don't think there's anything deep about it either, i'm just legitimately sexually attracted to my sister

only a couple of women even close to as hot as my sister have showed interest in me

>>33587239
how old are you?
I used to have wet dreams about my sister from time to time when I was a teen and all the way into my 20s, but then they disappeared as we both grew older and I started to find other girls hotter, she was cute growing up and I just short circuited for a while, never tried anything IRL and in fact the thought of doing it IRL irked me.

>>33584805
Guys think I'm going to just leave my house, literally tried putting on the incredibles & the entire time my mother in law was scowling saying why are you letting the cousins watch "porn" because the wife's body was too "curvy" despite her literally seeing the intro with Pixar

I can't live with someone who's constantly judging you for your views thinking your always wrong & the things you watch are "evil"

>>33587266
You going to kill her then?

Aight I'm gonna cut down to two oatmeal raisin cookies a day due to concerns about sugar intake and to alleviate budgetary pressures.

Still holding out hope she'll let me back in to her life some day. I guess the fact that she didn't delete all the pictures I took for her Instagram is something.

MELINDA YOURE SO GORGEOUS EVEN THE WAY YOU SQUINT AT THE CONPUTER SCREEN WITHOUT YOUR GLASSES IS ADORABLE

Cute boys.....oughhhhhh ....... CUTe boys...........my God......boys.......cute...... cute boy anons.....I'd die for you all......good luck anon

>flashback to when I would sit on the family living room couch with my underwear around my ankles as I would fervently masturbate while my spread asshole would stain the white couch cushions
ugh

>>33587376
Oh...!

I used to fap to blacked stuff and I kind of forced myself to fap to gay porn. I didn't ever like it I guess I don't know, at the core of it I wanted idk. I guess I was just broken by something, probably something I can't remember or something I made up? I don't know anymore. I have been watching porn since I was a little kid. I have faint memories of being raped as a kid.
When I was a small child I played with another boy in my room. We got naked and danced around in a circle, I don't know why. Then we kissed each others penises and butts and I don't remember whos idea it was or why we did this. Nobody noticed.
When I was little I remember having a crush on a girl who my friend convinced me to make fun of. I didn't know why I went along with it. I was a coward then and I feel like a coward now.
I remember having a dream about kissing her and waking up and my dad was kissing me.
I remember having a dream about something and my stepdad leaving the room. I don't remember things so well anymore. I don't know if I'm making this up or if this really happened because I was asleep.
I was always good at reading, I read to my mother and could read full sentences on the first try. I could read so well but couldn't remember a thing I just read to her. I don't know

>>33587384
>I'M KYOOOOMING TO BIG QUAR'DARIOUS EBONY COCKSSSSSSS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I'M WATCHING MEN FUCK MEN HOLY SHIT I'M BUSTING HOT JUICY FUCKING LOADS ALL OVER MY FACE AAAH IT'S EVERYWHERE

>>33586378
You're not a little girl. You weigh as much as a minibus

>>33587395
Hey.....I'm 95 lbs and losing weight for what it's worth!!!! (=_=) 4'9 I think I count well enough!!!

>>33586318
why do you want to know if little girls exist

>>33587400
So he can do bad things with them..... spooky

>>33587387
I guess ever since I was a kid I watched porn and thought that was what sex was like. It made me think it was like, an image of what it really was. It hurt me a lot. I think it was a cope for what really hurt me and I don't think I'll ever remember it. I've been trying for a while and its like it hurts so bad that i'd do almost anything to not remember.
sometimes I say things to myself and I start crying and trying to remember anythign, anything at all.
I wish I could heal or something. I think I started pretending I was an adult for my mother when I was very young, and so I could never develop as a child, and so I never developed at all. I didn't want to dissapoint her. I can't let go of that.

Every time I'm reminded of my trauma, I pretend I have a traumatized, seperate tulpa who's feeling the onslaught of emotions instead of me.

>>33587399
You stopped counting about 30 years ago

>>33587421
Nuh uh! So sorry to prove you wrong <3 yes I am that small.

>>33587399
FAKE

>>33587432
Very much real :3 genetics amirite? And gotta thank calorie counting for my double digit weight

because I dig in my ass throughout the day and have eaten the cum off of my hands everytime I ejaculate i now have a mouth infection

>>33586635
>>33586646
>>33586662
>>33587274
Kill yourself namefag

my bullshit detector goes haywire every time I managed to read something from plebbit, those guys really will do just about anything for some internet points

Just not feeling good right now. My head keeps swimming around and I’m getting really anxious and upset.

>>33587472
I recently started browsing there again and it blows my mind just how stupid and worthless the average user is. Not to mention the prevalence of propaganda and astroturfing that infests that shithole. They really murdered Aaron Schwarz to become the ultimate sellout astroturfing website.

>>33587522
That's fucked up. Sorry to hear that, anonette

>>33587541
Kek I'd love to see those videos and have a good fap. Fucking slut

I don't find my girlfriend attractive anymore. She used to be bubbly and energetic, but her diagnosis and meds has been wearing her down. Seeing that she doesn't take care of her basic needs, like eating healthy and cleaning up after herself is a major turnoff. She just lies in her bed all day and eats junk. We had sex for the first time in a month last week. At the end it turned she had been in pain the whole time, but didn't say anything because she felt bad about the lack of sex. We are moving together next week. I keep telling myself it's a test, but in reality I know we are because I have let it get to this point without saying anything. I have tried to be more critical, but she doesn't take it well.

>>33587544
What was in those videos, queen?

>>33587544
Also tits or GTFO

>>33587556
Tits or GTFO bitch

I know this is 4shit but hm wow . Go be mad about the actual demographic that harmed you retard instead of pulling the "brown" card fag

>Take videos of daughter at 6
>> 55 years later
>OMG DON'T LOOK PEDOPHILE! I'LL GO ON RACIST RANTS

>>33587563
What color is your pussy?

>>33587569
Based. Fuck the brown niggers defending that bullshit. 14 words, sister.

>>33587569
Jews rape kids. Do you agree?

>>33587569
I was molested by white people once. Doesn't mean I'm gonna go all deathcon 3 on them. It means I hate molesters regardless. But you lot really do a great job at pushing me to white genocide

>>33587581
>But the browns are largely worse.
That's why whites run all the child sex trafficking rings for their chosen people, right?

Also, tits

>>33587584
I disagree seeing 100 percent of the people who've groomed or assaulted me is white or white adjacent but whatever. Can't expect you retards to give up ape brained generalizations. Coming from a 7-11 brown bitch, please stfu

>>33587587
All I'm saying..... trumps aren't brown and neither was epstein lawl

>>33587598
You could say Chinese people have high populations of predators and it would hold exactly that much substance. Zero. Wow no shit the country with a huge population has a huge population of creeps because there's a billion fucking people there. Just stop. I wouldn't hate you freaks this much if you weren't pulling this crap on innocent people

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>>33587598
Nice one, pigskin

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2 can play at that game. Picrel happened in Florida. Cute little girl was raped and drowned by the pigfaced demon on the right

Yawn. Maybe I'll dump this load onto my underdeveloped culturally appropriated tulpa or whatever, let him deal with this and nawt me &_&

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What color are these?

I haven't even gotten to the dogs part about white "culture"...

Anyways..... man I'm hungry as shit but I'm not sure if I wanna eat or not......hmm........weight loss or not to weight loss....that is the question (_)

>>33587624
Tldr pedos are everywhere, doesn't mean you can generalize everyone as a pedo or no one is safe in your eyes, regardless of race or gender or whatever. Simple really! Too bad most people really are more stupid than you'd think..... don't generalize and people won't be pissed off. That's about it if you don't want to be despised really

>>33587581
Fair enough. I hope one day you wake up to the reality of the world and support groups and systems that will undeniably lead to the best for you, your children, grandchildren, and all future descendants. The same people that brainwashed whites, and only whites, into denying the innate human tendency toward in-group preference are the biggest child abusers in the world. You already basically named them In the meantime, you and yours stay safe out there.

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>>33587637
Tldr indeed. Nice backtracking, only read the first few words and that's all I need out of you

>>33587616
Crush him to death. That said, brown people are disgusting savages that should not be allowed in white societies.

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>>33587649
How enlightened

>>33587642
Go make your own retarded thread if you wanna be a racist faggot. Quit clogging this thread is all I ask of you. Go call us slurs somewhere else where other like minded vermin can agree with you.

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>>33587652
Everybody agrees with me. I don't need to put others down
You're literally the one that started with the racism here >>33587556

>>33587656
Nta, and my phone colors were inverted so I couldn't see that he was white. Cool. Post somewhere else and stop clogging the thread ether way. Coming from the curry anon

Hey man how's it going

>>33587651
>France
>Paris is minority white
You played yourself, Sandheep

I don't care anymore. I like being brown
(@_@) seethe and cope

>>33587683
Good for you, brother. Hitler wanted all races to be proud in themselves and for all nations to do what is best for their own people. Such is the essence of National Socialism.

>>33587696
Testicular torsion

>>33587698
Sorry that you're dealing with that, homie. But that isn't really relevant to this thread.

>>33587702
Ulcerative colitis

>>33587706
What is this? A list of your grandpa's ailments?

>>33587712
Leon Scott Kennedy

Bruh, something every man has to learn is there's a difference between a woman and a boorish whore
I see a lot of guys tricked into simping for the whore when she's heavily propped up by make up and only gets guys through her skimpish outfits
When you are with an actual woman you realize not only are they physically different but a woman acts and is motivated differently

I’m an alcoholic and finally accepted I have a serious problem. I was getting drunk everyday for over half a year. I actually drunk myself into having an alcoholic induced psychosis. The fuckin shadow people were trying to do jump scares on me and I was hearing voices. Realizing I was slowly killing myself in front of my whole family and making them watch is what made me seek help and go to a rehab.

I’m thankful I’m alive but I can never forgive myself for what I put my family through.

>>33587933
Isn’t the second step to recovery giving all your troubles and blame to a higher power?

>>33584805
I like to leave a little bit of cash in my winter jacket pockets when I put them up for the summer so I get a nice little surprise when I put it on again with the first chill.

My eye bags hurt

>>33587935
Yeah I’m doing the 12 steps and going to AA

>>33587935
It’s just hard sometimes is man

I support carrying guns actually. Fags need to know that if you fuck around, you will find out. Can't wait to bear arms

Normal people need to realize they are only tolerated to be a resource for shareholders to make more money. Nothing else about you matters

>>33587979
The people who need to hear this won't listen to it (basically everyone on this site)

>>33587933
how much were you drinking each day?

As I’m getting control over my mental health and pinpointing sources of problems I will NOT be tackling the Thing For Fat Curvy Thick Brunette’s because good god do white soft bodies do things to me

Work found at I was slacking now I'm freaked out wondering if they know I've been stealing. Plus I'm on vacation this week and I don't won't to stop feeling anxious like this.

>>33588019
Same

i desperately need a rich milf with more power and money then i can ever comprehend to kidnap me and take me away from my family city and basically my entire current life, she could enslave for all i care as long as i can live without too much harm i feel it would be better then the shit i deal with now, i want to kill myself, or get killed or kidnapped or anything i just don't want to deal with this endless stream of problems and bullshit give me hope, or a silver lining or anything please I'm begging

>>33588160
I have a similar fantasy where I'm in a throuple with two rich bisexual women where they use me for sex and spoil me

>>33588256
>>33588160
I want to marry a decent guy thats semi rich in health mind and has stable income,

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>>33587610

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPW1ptSErIs

>>33588256
Unrealistic, in order to give my abused psyche hope, i need to give it unrealistic scenarios that are "possible", so in such fantasies i need to be kidnapped or tortured or raped, sure it doesn't reach the point of death but it has to be reasonable so that i can believe otherwise I'll call out my own lies

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>>33588326
>raped

be an agricultural worker in israel

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>>33588334
>Israel
>Hope
If i were to run such thoughts by my brain it would shut down out of sheer horror at the mere thought
>Women
I honestly thought they were raping thai men, since they tend to do that

>>33588011
a fifth or so. Sometimes more sometimes less.

My sibling was just let go and I feel extremely pressured. We both live with our parents and I'm almost done with my degree but I keep worrying we may run into financial trouble before I manage to get a job

Anxiety has been constant all day every day for the past two months now
It was gone for awhile but now it's back worse than ever and I'm not coping well with it, every day is just trying to manage it and not really being able to put energy or focus into anything else
I don't wanna go back on benzos and ssris
I don't even know if they really helped much last time, I mostly remember the nuked libido
I wish I had a normal brain this shit sucks so bad, I was doing so well for awhile

should have bought two of these delicious treats.

I feel stagnant. I remember feeling clear and fresh at times but it was fleeting. I remember a kino feeling at times too but it was fleeting. I wonder how I can capture that feeling.

Don’t lie to me, 4chons. I can smell the dishonesty from a megaparsec away. Lying through your TEETH like the dog you are, you corporate fat cat.

Pig.

OINK OINK!

No but seriously though get out

I'm thinking my issues are more so clinical depression than adhd now. Can't know for sure though. Therapy is expensive

>>33587442
Go live Anonymous

>>33589000
You're a narcissist. You have a personality disorder, you know that?

Holy shit, spending 4 hours with my ex was an olympic-level exercise in shit testing. I feel like I've been emotionally raped or something.

sometimes i worry but then I see the 4chan banner that says "everything will be fine" and i feel better

>>33589090
>emotionally raped
How do you feel about that?

Well, good luck, babe

after we ended in a sweet note things yesterday first thing she does today is asking me for money
maybe she was with me for money and nothing else after all.

I think I got through to you and you finally realized that fake is gay

I'm spent but fine now, going from suicidal to "fine" and content is weird maybe I'm mentally ill, as if I'm two people who suddenly get control over me. that aside i wish someone would make me whole and hug me, and allow me to cry into their large bosom(pecs or boobs idc) i want them to run their fingers through my hair like a cat petting me as i cry and comforting me, i wish it would be genuine and then i drift to sleep, and then i wake up and they're there sleeping so i hold them tightly and they're larger then me by alot, and then i feel pure love and happiness at being near that person wanting to be better simply because they deserve better.
>>33589090
>like I've been emotionally raped
i know that feel

I got the job! This is a really good job! And I got it!

I got my dick sucked in a dream once; but, it was merely a dream, and a long time ago.

They don’t suck my dick in my dreams no mo’

No mo’…

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>>33584805
M, 33, german, never had friends, no social circle, kissless dateless virgin, hidden severe disability / cripple
> My life has come into multiple dead ends early on, that's how it went:
> was bullied as a kid and teen, got fat
> changed school, was left alone, got fit at gym over 2 years
> looked good for like 5 months, then got ill
> no doc knew what I had or if I was faking, I did not get better
> got weak, walking became difficult, constant muscle pain, got fat again
> studied (bachlor) and tried to balance illness, commuting and working parallel
> no student / social life, stress at home
> finished bachelor, moved out for master in related field at different uni and town
> 1st master semester: shocked with amount I had to catch up, managing illness
> 2nd/3rd semesters: lost weight, kept studying, managing illness
> got rejected from student activites, was not fit enough - I could not keep up
> 4th semester: severe flare up, ended up in hospital for weeks, got diagnosis
> had to pause studies for 1 year, got on social welf-fare with problems, lost all conections
> finished studies, alone, loking for job, disease treatments do not work
> got some fixed-term jobs, then corona broke out
> corona restrictions did change nothing for me, trained and got fitter
> got corona, affected me for over 6 months, new symtoms unlocked: breathing hurts now, got fat again
> changed job, moved to other town during that time, got fatter
> one year later got diagnosed with another disease
> not curable, new symtoms unlocked: always fatigued, burning headache
> medication hurts gut, eating hurts, lost weight
> trapped in job, need money, for future nursing
> monday-friday occupied, global buissness trips, barely get through the day but manage job
> friday and saturday I break down, fatigue overload
> sunday I try to catch up, housework, preparations for next week
I don't see how I can keep that up, get to know someone let alone persuade a women to want to fuck me

talking to girls is easy lads

>>33589678
what sort of disability is both hidden and severe at the same time

>>33589687
many, severe describes how your daily life and your abilities are impaired
it is also a legal categorisation on the degree of disabilty

visiblie disabilities are e.g. when someone lost an limb in an accident, needs a wheelchair or has tremors and can't control their movement

invisible disabilities do not have directly visible cues, like in many auto immune diseases, metabolic diseases, or some psychological diseases

>>33585955
Think about it logically. Who gave you these values, and what do you think their intention was with you?

im dying

I've gotten so used to ad blockers that whenever a pop-up gets through I panic, close everything, do a full system scan and spend the next 24 hours worrying that someone has magically stolen everything from me. I'll come home from work and stare at the computer, afraid to turn it back on. It's a Schrodinger's Cat sorta thing. I'm getting real paranoid nowadays, it's not doing me much good.

>>33589707
embrace the release from suffering

Need more memes of subverting expectations of animals

>>33589717
sounds stressfull
while it does not solve your add problem or rather fear, maybe doing offline activities like reading a book provides a safer enviorment?

>>33589724
Yeah unironical

>>33589756
how old are you?
I envy you a bit desu

one day I'll get a gf but first i gotta get money. I'll take any girl as long as she's not too ugly. I'm not really that picky. I'm not exactly a 10 myself. I'm really skinny but average looking.

>>33589791
are u 17?

Grown ass men working out several times a week, eating very good diets, being in better shape than 99% of the population and instead of being great they are angry about a tablespoon of canola oil to cook some food here and there

>>33589796
I'm 29. I still dress like I'm 17 tho haha

I've been reading my own thoughts that I wrote down about 3 years ago. It's depressing to realize my situation hasn't improved a bit and I'm living the same miserable life. There's so much I think I'd like to do, but at the same time I just don't want to and dwell on feeling like shit about it every day. I'm too scared to change or just unsure about what I really want.

>>33589886
well, a start is what you don't want. It might show you what you want to avoid and point you into the opposite direction of what you might want.
then it is about sticking to the routine to do what is necessary to change.

but you are scared about your current situation and you are scarred to change, isn't that some sort of deadlock paralysis?

>>33589776
no. why? do you wanna died?

>>33589918
yes

>>33589907
I think so. I've been procrastinating and avoiding my whole life basically. I don't know how normal people make decisions and do things. I understand that logically if I'm in a bad situation I need to do something to change it, but I'm kind of stuck mentally.

>>33589923
Every middle has an ending. Your time is coming. The shinigami will come and wash away all the weight your karma in the fountain of souls, and then weigh your heart before recycling it. Namaste.

Fuck man, my reward chemical levels are absolutely fucked. I've been on sick leave for the whole week and spent most of that time in bed, on my phone or in front of my PC. Feel no motivation to do anything at all and not even YouTube or video games feel fun anymore
I know this is temporary, but fuck me this sucks. Can't even go outside and enjoy the nice weather because my throat and head hurt

>>33589929
I think so. I've been procrastinating and avoiding my whole life basically.
> you can't change that, only thing you can invluence what you do in the current moment.
I don't know how normal people make decisions and do things.
> Out of necessity. You have to estimate / forsee the consequences of your actions. WIll they only serve to quench immediate urges or are they (also) progressing long term goals with impact (wealth, health, connections, etc.)
I understand that logically if I'm in a bad situation I need to do something to change it, but I'm kind of stuck mentally.
> reeds like avoidance. as stopid as it may sound, do something, anything. even something like getting up, doing your bed or going for a walk. just to get going again, to get a start. like a stepping stone for the next "projects"

>>33589929
I feel you, bro.
Being a man-child made me lose my gf of 3 years. I respect her so much, she is such a decisive person, self-reliant. I'm not too bad myself, but... not on her level, if I'm being honest with myself.
I've stumbled through my entire life, manage to find a half decent job, and had 2 pretty cool girlfriends. They weren't perfect by any means, and to be honest, I feel good about being single again. But the shame of being left... It's been tough.
At the moment, I'm really, really lost. Wish I could just flip a switch in my head. My therapist says I have like, negative self esteem. I want to have hope for the future. It's all I can really do right now, have hope. Hope that I will figure things out.

>>33589969
How do you generate hope? Did the therapist give any advice?
Asking for myself, sry.

I'm feeling so completely worthless. Everyone's leaving me. I can't even find a date. And work has started shaming people by sending out a list of people's mistakes for the previous day for the whole department to see. I don't fucking know how to not feel like a failure right now.

>>33589999
wow quads!?
>And work has started shaming people by sending out a list of people's mistakes for the previous day for the whole department to see.
that's fucked. seems to me like a case for HR

>>33589678
I am kinda dissapointed that just 1 person replied to my post.

>>33589964
>only thing you can invluence what you do in the current moment.
>do something, anything
I'm aware of this, funny thing is I keep complaining and avoiding the things I could be doing as you suggested I should do.
>or are they (also) progressing long term goals
Feels like I can't even set long term goals to stick to, everything is too big to handle and I can't plan for shit even though I know planning is the only way to get anything done in life.

I really appreciate the response anon, I've already complained too much and don't want to waste more of anyone's time. I either do shit or be stuck in my shitty situation, no one's gonna save me.

>>33589969
I'm sorry to hear that anon. What's so shameful about being left? Is there anything specific you need to figure out? Being indecisive sucks.

>>33590005
Maybe the quads will help. And it's an audit of the daily report. I understand the purpose of it and helping people understand mistakes they make but when you put people's names next to the mistakes found on the report and send it to the whole department, it kinda makes it feel like they're just trying to shame everyone into not making mistakes. And our HR is worthless.

>>33589981
Bro... hope is something you generate yourself. Again, advice from others have never worked from me. My therapist is helping me sort my shit out, which I suppose gives me a bit of hope. My sessions are the only thing I look forward to nowadays.

I generate hope, because I don't have another choice. I won't kill myself, because I don't want to bother my friends and family, or the police. I really wished I just died in my sleep, of natural causes, but that's unlikely. So all I can really do is hope. Hope that the future will be better than the present. Acknowledging that my life could be much, much worse, and that there are people who are going through worse, kinda helps. A bit of gratitude for the little I accomplished.

>>33587440
go to hell Henry.

>>33589678
>>33590009
Can't really speak for the medical issues but it sounds like hell to bear physically the way you're talking about. Are these illnesses life-threatening?
Being ill and working your ass off either working or studying sounds like a lot to handle. I think you've done a lot more than many could manage to do if they were in your situation.
It seems to me like a gf would be the least of your worries right now, no? And I don't mean this in a bad way. I'm sorry you're dealing with so much with your health.

I hope this year we move in together and that all of the evidence they promised to delete I can retrieve.

>>33590023
Ah, it's complicated...
Basically, I've been psychologically alone my entire life. As an adult, I've been really protective of my autonomy. Too much. I'm at the extreme end of the avoidant spectrum.
My girlfriend and I really hit it off on my things. I was a good boyfriend on many aspects, and she really loved me. She wanted to live with me. But the idea sent a shiver down my spine. One day, she gave me an ultimatum, and I preferred to end things.

Since then, a gaping hole opened in me. I feel regret for not trying, because that has been the story of my life: when I need to act, fear takes in, and I let the opportunities pass. And I have my reasons, my ex was a bitch to me on some specific occasions, that made me really reactive and generally tense around her. But I feel like I should have been more mature, more capable of dealing with the situations. Less of a coward, more of a MAN, you know?

I tried to get her back... but she didn't want to. Like I said, she's a very decisive person. And that makes me feel like a manchild. Like a loser. I'm 33 years old and I still haven't learned basic shit about life.

>>33590023
>I either do shit or be stuck in my shitty situation, no one's gonna save me.
True, nobody else is coming, there is only you.
Seems to me that you should stop trying to plan anything.
If you can not do a task, devide it into smaller task. do it as often until the portion is small enough to do.

>>33590028
I feel you. I am an auditor myself and this practice is fround uppon. You usually annotate deviations and findungs to department parts or procedure steps...

>>33590038
I don't know how to hope anymore. I see my situation and future only worsening.
How do you generate hope, what is the action. Is is it like breathing or shitting, where you zone out and let your body do it?

>wake up this morning
>bf is horny and playful and makes me cum twice even though his stomach hurt
>eagerly eats weird zucchini frittata I made and compliments me
>goes to fair with me and looks at stupid shit
>puts up with me yelling at him about festival traffic
>goes to pub with me and buys me lunch and two drinks
>makes special bbq sauce for our meatloaf for dinner because I asked him to
>goes to work out to get sexier for me while it cooks
I love him I love him I love him I love him

>>33590055
Ty for your response and symphaty
> Are these illnesses life-threatening?
Unfortunately not immediately, my abilities will decline over the years and eventually I will die. I wont become very old, but I expect about 70 years.
> It seems to me like a gf would be the least of your worries right now, no?
Well, I have nobody and yes, I do not have the capacity to date or for a girl.
I just would have like to persude at least one women to desire me, or to have sex.
I guess my only option is to pay a prostitute at this point to at least "have done the deed once". Yust for the motion. But I fear enjoying it and like a poisend apple it could show me what I have missed out even more.

>>33590129
sounds nice to have someone so dedicated and tolerant of you.
I feel envy, but I am unbearable and it would not be fair to any person having to endure me and my uncertaities.

>>33590157
I guarantee I am 1000x worse than you there is a lid for every pot anon
>it would not be fair
Don't decide for others what is fair or not maybe you'd be their reason to live

>>33590072
>But the idea sent a shiver down my spine.
>One day, she gave me an ultimatum ... I feel regret for not trying
>when I need to act, fear takes in, and I let the opportunities pass.

I see. As an avoidant myself, I relate to this so much and understand how much it hurts. I learned you can't sit on the fence forever about some things. Sometimes you're forced to make a choice and you must stick to whatever you choose because even if you regret it you can't just go back and pick the other way. Even if it feels like the wrong choice, you just pick something and learn from it. I'm sorry for your situation. For what it's worth, I don't think you're a manchild, relationship shit happens I guess. It's still mind-boggling to me how people are even able to get a girlfriend to begin with. Maybe you'll be able to find someone more compatible with your lifestyle. Maybe try to find something to distract yourself with in the meanwhile.

DO I HAVE TO TAKE A SHOWER? I JUST ITCHED MY BELLY BUTTON AND SNIFFED MY FINGERS AND THEY SMELL LIKE CHEESE

>>33590177
My mom and I were just talking to each other about procrastinating showers- she said even my grandma would do it, but then lament she always felt better afterwards. Procrastination is a genetic thing I swear. We even put off pissing

>>33590177
>THEY SMELL LIKE CHEESE
what kind?

>>33590096
I really don't know how to explain. It feels kinda weird, now that you asked.
I guess I just hit rock bottom. I just get so down that eventually hope wells in me. I really wish I could give you a step-by-step, but I wouldn't know how to.

>>33590171
Thanks for the words, king. Yeah, that's how I've rationalized it all. Can't learn without making mistakes. It hurts like hell, but if I learn from it, then it will be for the best.

You seem like a pretty chill guy, dude. I'm hoping you will find your way. We have a tendency of being hard on ourselves, sometimes I get to the point of self-hate, but even then, there are people who see the good in us. Just the fact that you are aware of your situation, means that there is hope for you. For us. Just gotta believe. And keep on trucking. Making mistakes and learning from them.

>>33590131
Probably doesn't help to hear this but 70 years doesn't sound too short, that's plenty of time for anyone to live their life I think. About the abilities going to decline, I can see that being a problem depending on what the decline is and what you want to do. You might have to reframe your ambitions or goals. Sorry to hear that anon, the gene lottery really sucks for some people and there isn't much that can be done. It's a miracle we got the chance to be born and have consciousness at all. For the girls I don't know, I'm a lone retard myself, I pretty much gave up, lost interest and don't think much about it anymore.

>>33590187
moldy kind
>>33590182
tell your grandma she's cool for me

HOLY FUCK I'M CUMMING LOIS HOLY FUCK I'M CUMMING LOIS

Just got lunch with Dad. It was a nice time.

>Nobody:
>Absolutely nobody:
>Me:

I hate everyon who does this

>>33590211
Thank you anon, I am pretty chill although me being socially stupid sometimes people misunderstand me and hate me. Wish you the best as well.

>>33590265
Yeah it happens randomly sometimes

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>>33584805
>got to the FINAL interview stage again
>only competing against 1-2 other people AGAIN
>still didn't get the job
I was genuinely the best candidate possible for the job. I say that with full confidence. I was the best option. YET AGAIN lost out in the last round. I don't know if I've gotten a job when it was actually competive in the last round even though I've been in that place dozens of times now. The only jobs I get are the shittiest ones there's not even any competition for. Yet still I am not being arrogant one of if not the best worker everywhere I've worked. I'm competent, intelligent, not a spazz or autismo. YET STILL I get nothing back in return because I guess I'm just a piece of shit and I deserve nothing. I don't know whats wrong with me, that was my job to lose. Everything else in my life goes the same way. I don't understand why. I'm just a piece of shit loser I guess.

I think God and the universe hate me I don't know what else to think. It's all so pointless.

>>33590305
What do u mean u are dying?

>>33590072
She is blind and makes assumptions of what she sees here. Disregard and know who you are. She's the one losing out.

>>33590171
It's never too late to change and take the right path. Never settle. True love overcomes all.

Here's the facts

>She knows you were a good boyfriend on many aspects, and she really loved you
>She wanted to live with you.

She still feels this way because the idea sends a shiver down her spine.

It's not over. Do the best you can on your side and she'll come to you.

Do you ever, like- No? Okay.

Anyone willing to invest in my idea for a peanut butter cheeze whiz snack called an "I Wouldn't Either?"

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I FUCKING LOVE MUSHROOMS SO MUCH. THEY'RE HEALTHY AND PACKED WITH NUTRIENTS AND THEY DON'T TASTE LIKE ANYTHING AND CAN BE DICED UP INTO INCREDIBLY SMALL BITS SO YOU CAN INCORPORATE THEM INTO ANY MEAL SINCE YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL THAT THEY'RE THERE.

YOU CAN SEASON THEM TOO WITH SOME GARLIC AND ONION POWDER AND ZOO WEE MAMA THEY'RE SO TASTY I COULD BUST MUSHROOM JUICES ALL OVER THE KITCHEN

>>33590471
shroomjak is a real one I'm on my shrigma male millionaire grindset

>>33590388
Man... thanks.
She's a good person, we just... hurt each other too much, I guess. I've got work to do on my part, I know this for a certainty.
But, thanks for the words. My therapist says I was very reasonable when I made my choice, given the bad stuff that happened between us. But I have a tendency to downplay her part and exaggerate mine. I can see some things where I was a more mature person than her, specially regarding her anger and general lack of manners towards others. I don't know... people are so complicated. Sometimes I feel like a retard, other times I feel like I'm the only sane person around

>>33590351
I ate too much and felt bloated. Also I am worried I have silicosis or something from early but maybe it's fine and I'm being a hypochondriac. Also I feel depressed that for me to not feel financially insecure, which is relative for each person, will take maybe a few more years and that makes me feel bad so I feel like I am dying emotionally. I worry something could derail my path to security before I get there as well. Sorry to rant.

How do you married-fags avoid beating the shit outta your wives? Women are so fucking insufferable it's insane.

>>33590621
>Women are so fucking insufferable
for you
I'd rather deal with women all day than a second with an average dude, couple of friends nonwithstanding.

>>33584852
I think I can help you. As a woman, you are thinking and talking too much. Just stop. You will be so much more happier.

>>33585634
Yes, re-enroll to get a real job. That said, don't overlook that zoology degree. Always make it a point to tell people that you don't like that they have personality incredibly similar to a monkey.

Then when they look at you funny, say, "oh, I'm sorry I have a zoology degree. I'm not saying YOU ARE a monkey, just you have a few traits incredibly similar."

>>33585634
The more I think about this whole zoology thing, the more I get into it. Got a tender diner date? Bring her to McDonalds. Remark to her in a convincing fashion that she smells like a llama. This might not be so bad after all. She has no idea what a llama smells like... Maybe ask her when was the last time she went to the zoo.

If your on a date with a school teacher, you could tell her "you and I... we're not so different."

I don't hate you. I'm just.. disappointed. Really it doesn't matter. I just worry about you. I shouldn't but that's how I am. I've known all I was was just a tool for you to use when you needed a pick me up or ass pat. I've known a long time. Sometimes I wish you never asked if I knew. Because that's what brought it to the table and got me to rethink shit. Yes I thank you for your patience and kindness when dealing with my socially adept ass when we crossed paths. I want to tell you you shouldn't lick the buffet servingware. But you do you. I just want you to be okay.

All I know is that happiness doesn't exist in a constant state. Sometimes it's just that hour or so of drinking and listening to music outside alone. I'll be okay. Even if it's just adding more oil to the gaslight I keep going inside myself.

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>>33590541
based and shroompilled by the shroomGVDs

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>>33590889
>whites think that they were egyptians

>>33590906
geg

I got a 10 minute post restriction for posting in this thread, letting someone know I shared a commonality with them. The restriction was for violating rule 1 because my post wasn't directly advice. Most of this thread and this board in general violate the same rule. I hate mods. They are worthless stupid niggers

>>33590931
>The restriction was for violating rule 1 because my post wasn't directly advice
same thing happened to me, because my picrel wasn't immediately related to helping someone I got banned from here for a while

>>33590906
No whites ruled over egyptians before they were genocided by arabs who are demi-whites

>>33590968
sars are 1/16th white

>>33590889
White people were Egyptians and Romans though. We have the bodies and the DNA. Look at Pharoah Ramses Ii here with his straw-blonde hair.

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>>33591038

How I miss you. Won’t you come back to me? I’m so sorry, my little love.

Won’t you forgive me? Please. I love you. Come back.

You told me to KMS but what you don't know is that I have a history of attempting and you saying that brought back memories.

>>33590591
It takes two to tango. I know I do my part and she has to step up and do hers

FUCK STICKY KEYS

>>33590906
>>33591038
>>33591045
Here is where I think you guys get it wrong. Yes, there were White Romans and Egyptians. The problem with this though is that our access is mainly restricted to the nobles and elites. I think it's safe to say that most elites and nobles were White, but the majority of the population? I think not. Don't forget but Ancient Egypt experienced high amounts of emigration and migration, the lower class was mainly comprised of brownoids.

Do you ever wonder why skin bleaching is such a huge industry in say Asia or Africa? It's because the aristocrats had servants (no, not slaves) to do the hard work in the sun for the most part which is why the elites were much paler in comparison to the rest of the populace. And well, anything associated with rich people becomes a sign of beauty, just like how being a fatso was considered a sign of prosperity during times of famine. It's why they're still huge industries over there (and couple this with more people adoring White than they did back then, not out of a prior disliking but more so the world was more separated).

I guess what I'm trying to say is, the successful Egyptains (basically the ONLY ones we have mummies of, we have a couple more of "normal folk" but they were done much later) were White, successful people are the minority so therefore White people were the minority in those places. I didn't really touch base with Rome but I'm honestly too tired to.
>>33591070
lmao

>>33590790
Everything else can be perfect but there's a part of me that will never be okay

>>33591082
>>33591093
That's the general thing but you say it in a way that twists how it's interpreted. It's not needy to love someone and miss them. It's simply that.

>>33591150
https://i.4cdn.org/wsg/1756607668164947.mp4

>>33591150
Ancient Egypt literally erected giant stones along the Nile saying "no niggers allowed in the country beyond this point, except slaves." Also look up King Tut's shoes. Yes, eventually these once-great civilizations became ethnically diverse. This was during the downfall, as ethnic diversity is both a symptom and one of the primary causes of civilizational death.

Also the earliest mummies from China were white as well, as are the oldest human remains from the Americas. White people literally circumnavigatwd the globe tens of thousands of years ago creating advanced civilizations and erecting massive monoliths, only to eventually be replaced by brown masses, either through interbrreding or genocide (like the Paracas), and the spciety would collapse and the advanced knowledge would disappear until you just have a bunch of superstitious boogedaboogas worshipping the ancient relics of the people their ancestors genocided.

>>33591187
>Ancient Egypt literally erected giant stones along the Nile saying "no niggers allowed in the country beyond this point, except slaves."
Oh, I'm not denying the fact that they probably by and large hated browns/blacks.

I guess if what I'm trying to say, mummification was an economically intense process that only the upper percent of the populace (typically White) could achieve. Think of my example as Whites were shepherds and the browns/blacks were the sheep back then. We only have access to the remains of the shepherd since burying sheep would've been pointless since they're just a number whereas the shepherd is the one behind it all. The sheep easily outnumber the shepherd so there's simply more sheep than shepherd in a barn.

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>>33590596
Fuck silicosis. I’ll say a prayer for u before I sleep tonight.

God I fucking miss him
I want to cope and say it's his mental illness that made him lose ability to care or something
But he just stopped liking me
It fucking hurts
I gotta move on instead of stewing in it, there's nothing here. It's just not fair how intense and vulnerable it was to just cut it off that quick with no explanation. I just thought we cared about each other more than that
Okay I gotta stop being in this headspace now

just remembered the time my ex had me over for valentines day

i was thinking we were going to get back together or something, she said she had her own place, but things seemed off when she tried to jump my bones at the door

that was conformed when i got in her apartment, which was clearly occupied by a dude who little did i know at the time was on his way there to fight me

i could tell she was in a rough spot and told her she could still leave with me and i'd help her get set up with a new place

but "i wouldn't be able to bring all my stuff" she said

>>33591296
are you a girl or a dude?

>>33591296
this is freaky, the exact same shit happened to me, literally everything u said i can relate to. i will say it does get better tho, wishing u well anon.

>>33591277
Thanks anon. Sometimes that's all you can do. It's calming.

>>33591350
You can or I can just buy you new stuff. In the end that's just a junk, we are what's important

>>33591360
Bi guy
It gets more complicated but I'll leave it at that
>>33591370
I hope so
I feel like i should've moved on by now, it's been weeks. I've never met anyone like him or felt like this before. I'll get there I just need some more time

I know who I am to you and what I am worth. Do the same or keep spinning and have a unfulfilling worst life

>>33591408
You mean years.

>>33591408
what's a bi guy

>>33591461
bisexual

>>33591465
?

>>33591483
what r u confused on

>>33591483
Literally what is there to be confused about

>>33591486
>>33591487
what's a bisexual

>>33591499
having attraction to both men and women

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>>33591187
>Also the earliest mummies from China were white as well

>>33591499
Are you 11 years old or some shit
I am a man who is attracted to men and women and am talking about another man (also bi) who I had a fling with

https://youtu.be/BhFWCcnGj6Y?si=jyepcodji-YNbvhL

This is one of the funniest YouTube meme videos I’ve seen this year please let me share this with you

>>33591506
>>33591508
oh cool

I watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail for the first time yesterday
Uh, yeah

>>33591517
can't watch it, it's a member's only video

>>33591596
Here try this

https://youtu.be/BhFWCcnGj6Y

Why the fuck is it that (nearly) literally everyone I meet isn’t normal? They either lie to themselves that they like me as a person more than they do, and before they even know me, OR they act fucking passive aggressive and cunty toward me for no reason
Where are all the normal niggas gone?

>>33591517
it was not funny at all, are you sure you didn't just clapped laugh instead of laugh at it?
I've seen many comedians are doing that lately "let me tell you something you agree on politically so you clap and laugh instead of thinking something clever everyone can laugh at"

>>33591702
No no I didn’t actually laugh but I find it sufficiently amusing to the extent that I sometimes re-enact the pose and dance

>>33591508
You should just stick to men at this point. Don't give women your fag plagues

>>33591082
>>33591093
I wish he would say that…

>>33591507
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarim_mummies
There are older ones too, and they are even more white. These ones were already becoming mongrelfied.

>>33591755
Yeah yeah, 4chan retard conservative fascist typical bullshittery, etc etc

>>33591797
Good luck on your bugchasing. But try not to give monkeypox to too many 6 year old boys and dogs.

>>33591633
geg, I forgot about that meme

>>33591507
To be fair its western china, not around the area where chinese civilization began, however there are definitively mummies in China from thousands of years ago that had red hair, light eyes, and pale skin. This is all very well documented archaeologically, genetically, and through ancient sources.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tocharian_languages
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OB8eeVd7R_M

/gif/ is by far the worst board here

>>33592011
Forgot to say linguistically too

>>33592013
Someone told me once that they believe porn is really bad for us. I absolutely agreed but never had the opportunity to tell them that.

>>33592011
not the anon but part of me wonders if that's because humans were a lot less genetically diverse back then. It's kind of ironic how at the start we were pretty uninspired, racemixed a bunch, and soon we're on our way to being a big glob of the same shit

I have a porn addiction and I want to stop.

>>33592093
It is because the different races are different hybrids of hominids. Whites are Cro magnon. Jews are neanderthal. Blacks are cro magnon + homo erectus or homo habilis. Asians are cro magnon + denisovan. In an intellectually honest world the disparate races would be classified as distinct subspecies.

CAN YOU GUYS SHUT UP ABOUT IQ FOR 5 MINUTES? I'VE HEARD ENOUGH PSEUDO-SCIENCE FOR THE DAY

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i never struggled with math, i understand it crystal clear; but, why is it so damn time consuming?

>>33584997
I'm year of the rat too

>>33590238
> 70 years doesn't sound too short
true but that is just the life span, my health span was very short and I am already at breaking point. suffering through 35 more years does not sound appealing.

It is kinda cruel, from a superficial pov I look good, am tall and work in a responsible position, but my windows of oppurtunity for any form of social interaction were so small and I did not utilize them. Now I am crippled above my physical ailments by my lack of any experience to get along with people socially - now I not even have free time anymore.

I am just functioning

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>>33592755
im neither mouse nor rat, but i find it endearing how people put a soil shaped animal onto a gold coin.

People come and go but sometimes, they come back
I think I'd be much better off mentally if she didn't come back
Maybe it's that prick, if I ignored him I wouldn't even know anything about her, I wouldn't be told to contact her, I wouldn't have contacted her, and I wouldn't have been stupid enough to think that I had a lucky second chance

>>33591158
I've given up being completely put together. As long as I work on the broken parts to keep them fine it'll be okay. Because that's all we can be. Woke up so go to work and keep moving forward.

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>Check out the online fandom for an IP I have fond memories of.
>It's still active somehow even though it's decades old.
>Full of only the worst kind of schizo gender confused autists imaginable.
I mean it's sort of a given, but it makes me feel bad inside. I know that fandoms are always awful, that you should never engage with them, and that they shouldn't impact your enjoyment of something, but it's just that Sword of Damocles hanging over your head at all times you know? That feeling of "What if deep down I'm actually just as crazy as these faggots and I just can't tell?"

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>>33593345
>What if deep down I'm actually just as crazy as these faggots and I just can't tell?"

To some degree you probably are. But youre better at keeping it under wraps or are one of the few mentally stable ones. There are a few fandoms I enjoy that are old as hell that are like that. You'll be alright

He will never hear Carti for the first time in his life ever again

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>>33593345
If what you like hasn't changed, and it hasn't changed you already, then you have nothing to worry about. "Fandoms" are just nonsense. The mentally ill would have been mentally ill if they didn't come across the media you enjoy. They'd just invade some other "fandom" and try to mold it into what they want, and sometimes these people are just too damn loud.
You're giving them a win if you start doubting yourself just because someone lumped you in with faggots upon checking what you're into.

I should go to bed in like half an hour, I have work tomorrow. Do I have one more drink, or nah? Vote now

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>>33593373
>>33593404
You're right lads, I won't let them live rent free in my head. Keep fighting the good fight.

It's getting a lot worse
For awhile it was anxiety in the afternoon and one crying breakdown a day, now it's waking up sobbing and feeling intense panic all day with multiple meltdowns
I've struggled with anxiety and depression before but it's never been like this
Feels insane because it is
I guess I need meds again
I wish I were normal
I wish I still had the one person who understood to talk about it with

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I have no idea where to post this (unlike most OPs, I don't feel the need to pollute /lit/ with random garbage) so I decided to post this observation here.
I've been struggling to articulate what the difference between a lot of modern fantasy shite (shite as in the crappy ones, not the good ones. So don't give me "well did you read X? It's actually good", that isn't the point. I'm talking about books my friends like/royalroad) and classical books. By classical I don't even mean old, just stuff we regard as greats like Discworld or Dune. I was bored on the internet, and I encounter this site called world anvil; it's a website to basically write up settings. I was curious on how it works, so I clicked around and found this. The line I want to draw attention to is
>Reader Experience
>It is a place of great danger, mystical and terrifying. Adventurers in the world are faced with the challenge of survival and if they are skilled enough or lucky enough, may even make a tangible difference in the world.
And like a weight off my shoulders, I figured out my chief problem with these settings: the shift is away from normal people/setting/day to day life, and unto this nebulous profession of "adventurer".
You know whose an adventurer in real life? Mercenaries, hitchhikers, soldiers, con artists, wanders, hunters. People who don't have a home/don't go to it, and instead go off on physical missions. But the stories that we herald as classics aren't about adventurers. Bilbo was offered the job/had to be convinced very heavy (and his family already had adventures in them too!), Frodo wanted to follow his uncle/mission, Paul got swept up in something bigger than himself, Rincewind was running away from danger. These characters if they had the choice, wanted to stay home. These characters are people who became adventurers, not the other way around.
But now a lot of literature has it backwards: they just want to have cool set pieces without any emotional heart.

>>33585259
I think I get why people hate boomers. My parents are the opposite: I would plead my dad to let me pay for my wedding, while he insisted that he/mom/I split evenly.

I planted some jalapenos and cayenne peppers, I only got one plant and now the peppers look neither like jalapenos or cayennes.

It wasn’t one of those creepy-as-fuck video game dreams although it did have a few video game elements

Still creepy as fuck, though

Probably creepier than the video game ones

FUCK YOU, MR. SANDMAN

WHAT THE FUCK, MAN

I DID EVERYTHING YOU TOLD ME TO BY 2023

>>33593302
Just contact her

I wish I could be the one to break no contact but you have me blocked, two months without hearing from you has destroyed me much like I told you losing you would. No chance to wean myself off of you and you knew I was in just a bad mental state as you were. I know I was the one that fucked up first and my pleas for forgiveness started to fall on deaf ears very fast. I wonder if you ever even intended to give me a chance to make amends or if your mind was made up. Hell I wonder if it was an excuse for you to leave me. And yet I would still take you back in an instant. What is wrong with me.

>>33594129
> wean myself off of you
Nigga that is a whole ass person you’re talking about not a fucking cigarette, get a grip

>>33594144
I don't know any better way to put it. Her break period of just talking was hard enough, then when she started spiraling worse in to depression and blaming me and getting angry it already started to fuck with me maybe getting to hear from her once a week. I was overthinking every message and trying to figure out with someone I thought I could trust if there was anything I could do. She saw those chats and called me crazy as if she didn't know I was just as vulnerable and fucked up over the situation as her. Instead she cuts me off. I feel actual pain from this even months later. So yes, that is the best way I can describe it, anything else?

>>33594170
> anything else?
Yeah
It’ll get better <3

>>33594186
Hardly feels like it, especially when all I want is to hear her voice and see her smile. There's no way the past two years really mean nothing to her just because I was unaware of myself and felt her up at the wrong time, right? Surely she'll remember the good times we had, how we could comfort each other, how we'd count down the minutes until each of us were off work and could see the other?
Fuck I'm making myself more sad now.

I’m tired of this modern social media mating ritual and all the mind games and guesswork that go along with it that we have to do now, used to be you could just ask a chick out and get a clear yes or no and move on

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This couple I know just got married, meanwhile my crush barely greeted me before hiding in the corner to stare at his phone

>>33594225
Go talk to him, he’s just nervous.

>>33594243
Correction, not "just" but "last night" and we weren't invited to the reception. I'll try to talk to him next time I see him though, he didn't look too good

>>33593445
Just grow up. Stop indulging your immature feelings.

>>33594097
A third time isn't the charm and surely she's happy with the dude she's with