I dont know, everything feels like it's going wrong. I got hit by a car and am crippled now. I feel like I hate everyone and can't empathize. I logically can run through their emotions but I always feel so disconnected. Everything and everyone is a lust filled degenerate, including myself, I try but I can't pull myself out. I feel an intense rage/sadness pouring over my soul and I want it to stop so badly. I dont want to go to therapy, I dont want ssris, I feel like these are modern crutches. Natural selection is taking me out and I dont know how I can push myself to be better. I am addicted to weed, and nicotine, I pulled myself from alcohol but it feels pointless as im still a slave to other substances. All of my peers are stuck in the same cycle. Everything and everyone is all so corrupted and I honestly want to change my outlook but every chance the world gives me to change it, it's almost as if something turns on it's head. Even those that I see as good I pick apart their flaws and analyze them critically, this also manifests in myself and I feel as though I am a demon. I want to be good, I want to be better, I want to improve my world but it feels like everything is stopping me. I took the blackpill too hard and I can't help myself... I see nothing but bitches money and death, it's all anyone lives for. Im not trying to be edgy, or miserymaxxing but this is truly how I operate and I want it to stop.
>>33595697Imagine a bullet strewn nomans land. You must walk across as the the streams rip through and shred you. If you keep walking forward there is a slim chance that something good will happen. If you don't, thats it.
She is coming home to me now and that is why there are so many negative LARPs attempting to trap her there and push me away. I persist. I am the truth.
>>33595697You hot hit by a car, you are allowed to be mad as hell. Process that.Than wake up one day and see if you want to be mad forever about people following their evolutionary drive.
