My dad was at my mom’s funeral. I don’t know how the son of a bitch knew it was happening, I guess there’s a traitor in my family. Anyway, I tried my best to ignore that asshole. He used to beat me and mom it was the best thing when abandoned us. My stepfather and stepsister told me to be cool about it but then after the funeral my dad kept trying to talk to me and I told him to fuck off but he wouldn’t so I punched him. Sadly I didn’t kill him, which as very possible given his age. My stepfamily stopped me from finishing the job and kept the cops from being involved. They talked to my dad and apparently he wants to make amends (too late to do that with my mom, since she’s dead). I made it clear that if I see that fucker again I’m going to kill him. The rest of my family insists I should at least listen to him and try to forgive. He’s a worthless excuse for a human being. Why does he deserve my forgiveness? How can he possibly make up for what he did? If there’s no atonement there can’t be forgiveness, can there? Would letting me strangle him qualify as atonement? I’d be OK with that.
>>33605169They weren't in your shoes. I couldnt respect a man who beats his child and wife. Hear him out, perhaps he has had some epiphany and wants to make up for what he's done to you, bite your tongue while he explains it to you, explain how he has fucked your brain up from a young age, then punch him again.
Violence is never the answer. You should have learned by the bad example set by your father. Obviously you two have a lot more in common than not.
You’re retarded. Someone obviously doesn’t believe you in your family and probably already reported you. The cops might read this. They all beat the fuck out of their wives too so
>>33605169How do you know there's no atonement there?
Nah OP, tell him to fuck off and loose your number.
>>33605169its a damn good question op. if it is something that has a specific context which forced those people in a certain behaviour in such a way, that they would not behave like this, if the context would be slightly different, then you can try to view it from their point. however if you see several times over a prolonged time, that they do not change though the context does, or if you see that what they did is indeed very hard to forgive, then i dont think you should. in fact, it is very healthy to draw a strict line, if they were unnegotiably evil. as reference, i forgave within myself a couple of people their evil, though it is an act of balance, that requries uttermost sensibility and discipline. thus, if i have the opportunity to give second chances, i have become very discerning, particulary i know the toll it takes to forgive. ultimately, it is about your wellbeing, how you can consolidate your experience.
>>33605283Not OP but how do you think someone could atone for that? Just going “gee sorry” isn’t enough.
>>33605169He doesn't deserve forgiveness, but you should forgive him anyway. This hate you have is only going to eat away at both of you and for what? This doesn't mean let him back in your life. It's totally possible to hear him out, say you forgive him, and tell him to never contact you again
>>33605418>Not OP but how do you think someone could atone for that? Just going “gee sorry” isn’t enough.I don't know. But just because I don't know the answer to that doesn't mean that the father should be banned from trying.
>>33605169It's important to remember that forgiving someone doesn't mean approving of what they did. It simply means letting go of your own anger and pain, and not allowing them to live in your head rent free for the rest of your life.
>>33605169you're spending too much energy on hating him and it's probably affecting other parts of your lifeI wouldn't say to forgive him because I'm hard to forgive too, but forget and stop caring.the moment someone I hate stops occupying space in my mind I feel so relieved and I have so much more energy to do other stuff.and I have people that almost left me sterile by abusing me during school, so not small stuff.
If your father has tried to be there for your life, you can forgive him. If he abandoned you, and you don't know him, then you do not have to forgive him.
>When should you forgive? Whenever the fuck you feel like it OPLosers don't get to decide when the fight endsIf he ends up in the grave before forgiveness then ripbozo he fucked around and found out
>>33605169First of all, violence is not a practical solution. In the worst case, you could be arrested for assaulting an innocent person.As to whether or not you should forgive him, what you should think about is how to determine whether he’s really sorry or if he’s just pretending to make himself feel better. Anyone can say they are sorry, but what action is he actually taking to make amends, if anything? If his actions convince you that he is really sorry, then you should forgive him.
>>33606178What if violence is the means of making amends? OP’s father beat him and his mom up. So wouldn’t it be ethical for OP to beat his father, and he’s not allowed to call the cops like a little bitch? If the father believes he should be forgiven for his violence then he should forgive his son’s violence.
>>33605169fuck the dogbegging for forgiveness is selfishi'll forgive someone for ruining years of my life when they self immolate
