Turning 40 soon and contemplating what to do with the rest of my life. I come from a lower class family. Became a workaholic myself, and spent my whole life building up a career. Went from actual $0-1M twice and lost it immediately both times (once a bad business partner, again on stonks). I’m exceptionally skilled as a developer, but haven’t been able to find work for a few years now. I’m tired of always working on projects or trying small businesses that don’t pay off. I’m at a do-or-die crossroad, and I find myself starting to plan for the worst. I figure, if I wasted my youth and am destined to bag groceries till I’m 80, I might as well sell everything, move, and do it somewhere a lot nicer than where I live. I used to feel reluctant to move because of family/friends, but ever since Covid my friends have drifted away until there was only one left, and I feel tremendous resentment toward my family for only accepting me when I had money, and constantly badgering me to go get *any* job in times I was not so fortunate. I’m not a bum. I do no drugs, don’t smoke, and even drink, and I never have. I’ve always been very straight edge and healthy, and tried to share that with as many people as I could.I would have liked to have a family of my own, but I don’t think that’s likely anymore. I just don’t want to live a life of regret. More than anything, I just wish I could go somewhere I am appreciated. I’ve always gone above and beyond for the people around me, but it is never reciprocated. It was a real wake up call to go through severe depression and not even have my parents notice. I can’t do that kind of relationship anymore. I would rather be completely alone. I have beaten myself up for my mistakes every day for years on end. I don’t need other people to do it for me.Have any anons given themselves a fresh start somewhere? What was your experience? Where did you go? Did you end up happier?
Poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling.Read it out loud to yourself. You must speak the words out loud. You are going to be okay.
>>33605970HAH
>>33606053I hate that poem like you wouldn’t believe. Mostly blame conservacuck radio for ruining it.
>>33606107Yeah, they really make everything they touch perverse. If you can't separate the messenger then there is other longer ways.Read the myth of Zagreus and his many incarnations.Then learn about the Zayin in the Hebrew Alphabet.What is the connection to the number 7?Sounds crazy rn. But if you can't read the poem in a vacuum, then you have to read a lot of other stuff for the same answer.
>>33606213I don't understand what you're trying to say, anon. I'm not looking for a cope here. I did that too much for too long. I understand that even with my best effort, I may just be fucked at this point, but there is nothing to do but try.But whether I am poor or not, I at least want to feel like I want to be where I am. Even if not a sense of "belonging", at least a feeling of "I was right to come here". That place is not where I am now, and I'm not well traveled.
Sounds like you need to build a better network. Going from a million to zero two times just reflects your lower class background. Anyone with a modicum of common sense could have just put that in a general index and made $80k a year.But money doesn't seem to be your main concern.From what I am reading, you are wanting connection and you think that if you go somewhere else that will magically happen. Most likely you would encounter similar problems in the new place you moved because the issue isn't your location, it is you.I would say this is 90% of the time the case.Start meeting people who are outside your comfort zone. You probably have an affinity for lower class people because that is who you grow up around. Church would be a good start. Keep going to a different one each week until you find a group of compatible people.
>>33605970>I’m exceptionally skilled as a developerWanna start a business together? I am also a developer. I have some SaaS ideas.>I would have liked to have a family of my ownYou should start a family, having no money is no excuse, look at people that live in 3rd world countries, they have 10+ kids and they're poor. If you are in a 1st rate country, considering you are in your 40s, you will probably have to date a single mom.
>>33605970You'll be fine.> I do no drugs, don’t smoke, and even drink, and I never have.You'd be better off if you did. You'd have more friends and less of a stick up your arse.Could be far worse, you could be stuck with some terror exwife and special needs kids and continually divorce raped.Just pick something somewhere and go do it. If it doesn't work out go somewhere else. Sounds like you are able bodied and don't have debt, you're smart and don't have any disadvantages except the ones in your head. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and things will work out.
>>33605970I can be your roomate no joke also straight edge no drugs nothing ever. Just point me to an objective and i will do it. I need to find a fucking job god damn i want to kill myself, if i fail.
>>33606309The low class background thing is interesting, I think there's some truth to it. Granted, I didn't lose my money like "idiot hits the lottery and spends it all", it was more like "doesn't know how to not get fucked in business, doesn't have anyone teaching him to stash money, etc". Also probably true with the relationship aspect. I'm not even sure what counts as high class in the US anymore. I used to live in a much wealthier part of the country, and even then I could instinctively sense that everyone was putting up a front. You're definitely spot-on with the need for networking. I've been putting a lot of energy into that as of a few months ago, of course it takes time. But I also feel like what I'm doing isn't going to work, it's part of why I think I might need to try being somewhere else. The little business meetup groups here are frankly a joke compared to where I was. I have absolutely no interest in church. I used to try to meet people at the gym, gaming competitions, etc, but it's probably a good idea to aim higher.>>33606354Ha, who can say? I know a lot of people who are decidedly not better off for "taking the edge off" or whatever. But yeah of course things could be worse. I'm not saying my situation is the worst, or hopeless or anything. I'm just tired of stumbling through life and making big mistakes figuring everything out myself. Anything I can learn from that comes from another person is potentially a big help, so I wanted to ask.>>33606338Unfortunately I don't need a dev, I need help selling. I imagine you have the same problem. Can't hurt to know what you do though, maybe I will come across something.>>33606418Ha...thanks anon, wish I had the ability to pay you right now. Finding a dead end job isn't that hard, so you must be looking for something better. What do you do? Any way I can find you? Never think "I want to kill myself" even if you are thinking "I want to die". Only be like a corpse - no fear of loss or getting hurt.
>>33606495Im a college drop out in Arizona, decent looking, /fit/ couldnt even find a dead end job at mcdonalds, chipotle, jack in the box, karls jr, etc. Everything is taken by pajeets or latinos. I wish i was fucking kidding. Now i have zero doubt about whats causing the homelessness epidemic. I have no car, i just want a god damn routine, get a job at walking distance, work whatever fucking shift i done 13 hours shifts and closing shifts at night then go back to my studio apartment at 2 am. Now i have fucking nothing just rotting away wasting money fml. I didnt expect getting hired for <literally anything> getting so damn hard over the span of 6 years.
>>33606536If you’re just looking for anything to get some routine, one resource you probably haven’t tapped yet is your state representative’s office. They will have a little office they rent somewhere near your town, just walk in. The staff there is paid to answer questions and do a certain amount of busywork involving constituents. In your case, tell them you’re trying to find work within a certain area, and you’re wondering if they can help you get in somewhere. There’s a good chance they can. If not they’ll point you to your state unemployment board, which at the very least will have actual real jobs posted.
