1) Met this girl in the library. Went on a date and arranged for second date but she called sick and ghosted me. Did miss signs where she wants short-term intimacy eg. a hookup? Should I always try kiss on a first date? I noticed when we were holding hands (which i initiated) she didnt grip/close her fingers. Is this an indicator that she wasn't ready/interested in doing so?2) Met another girl from my class. We went out together and it was very nice, but on our second date I confessed to her and she said she had a boyfriend, and that he cheated on her but gave him another chance. She even told me: Even if she's single she only considers me as a friend. She said I didn't show any signs that i like her on our first date. Question is: I know I'm doing something wrong. How am I not showing enough interest? Even if she isn't looking for long-term then hookups are fine by me but how do I actually ask for one? Of course I prefer a relationship. Please teach me the art of dating.
>>33619099Discuss values, not interests. If she's capable of defining who she is and what she actually wants out of life thoroughly then she is worth your time, if she can't then she isn't a worthy investment of time.If you can't define your values or engaged in long conversations about your principles, then you should reflect on those before getting into a relationship. It will save you a lot of time, and set you up for finding a life partner instead of some wishy washy person who just wants the illusion of a relationship.
>>33619124Thank you for the answer. I have been to many dates before and almost none shared the same values or interests as me. I think i just want to feel wanted, or validated in that sense,
>>33619163You want to find a life partner, you have to define what 'Life" is to you. Prepare yourself for frustration, because most the time when you ask women what their values are they will say "I've never thought about that before" because they don't have values.Some might respond when asked, if given time to define themselves. Culturally we don't encourage these types of things, so that's why most relationships are shit. But from my experience, every successful relationship I've ever seen is built by people willing to talk about their values and communicate who they are as people, even through those moments of "Change" that most people fear, i.e. growing a part.Marriage is through thick and thin, yet most people don't build this strength, they just divorce when it gets tough.Start defining who you are, and what you want out of life. Though the search will be a lot harder for you, it will be all the more rewarding when you actually find your person.
>>33619177thank you. ill ask future dates about this.
>>33619099>she didnt grip/close her fingers. Is this an indicator that she wasn't ready/interested in doing so?just tell her to grip your hand. It’s frustrating for men when women fail to take the initiative, but the reality is that women love it when men tell them what to do.>She said I didn't show any signs that i like her on our first date.you need to make a point of doing the following:break the physical contact barrier by starting with a hug.look her in the eyes. especially while you smile and laugh.flick your eyes down to check out her body.physically get close to her; invade her personal space.Put your hand on her shoulder on upper arm if you’re both standing (you can also do this while walking but just briefly or as a joke, it’s super awkward to try to sustain)did I mention SUSTAINED EYE CONTACT and SMILE and LAUGH?
>>33619270>but the reality is that women love it when men tell them what to do.Yet there is a such a large number of men who read the signal wrong and got called a creep or uncomfortable for doing this. Not trying to be a naysayer, but with the modern climate you can't really trust actions like this. At least not in the beginning of a relationship, which is arguably the hardest part in this case learning how to communicate with your partner.
>>33619099you literally just described how two women you met are the ones that fucked up. stop blaming yourself, women are toxic shits. you will gain confidence in not caring about their feelings. do not become emotional around women, do not share your feelings with them. they will reject you for it because they do not percieve you (men) as human beings if you show emotions.
bump
>>33619310Men don't want to date gnats, and if procreation can only be maintained by appealing to the absolute worst in us as human beings then what's the fucking point? What are we even striving for in the first place?Women will say >I want you to be open and share with meAnd then be repulsed by it>But I want you to be rational and sternAnd then they call it abusive or neglectful because you're not meeting their needs.Literally doesn't matter either way because as a civilization we are so fucking unhealthy and deranged at this point that nothing works.
>>33619099If a woman makes any excuse to cancel plans with me or says some backhanded, shit-testing thing like I'm "just her friend" after we hung out I just stop talking to them entirely, why you are you even wasting your time worrying about this shit or thinking about what you need to say to please them, that's retarded and childish
I couldn’t sleep yesterday.
>>33619099Gorsh! Seems like she doesn't like you that way. Whooda thunk? So move on. /thread
