She speaks in short, incomplete sentences, often swallowing half her words. She can’t follow instructions, like changing a light bulb. When I try explaining things to her, or using online tutorials, she just can't follow the instructions. If it says>now put part A into BShe will put part A into part C, insist she did everything right, and become frustrated. I will fix it for her, she will see her mistake, she will be grateful for the help, but she will make the same mistake next time. It's adorable in short bursts, but dealing with it is getting hard. She mixes up her colors, and her left & right.Abstract thinking, planning for the future or discussing complex ideas, is beyond her.I can’t have vacations with her, without fully guiding, and planning every second. I try to talk about more complex topics, she will adapt to my views, without understanding them. She will go along with everything, because she trusts me. I feel like I'm brainwashing her, because she will eat any ideology I show her, as long as she thinks I agree with it. I feel more like a father, and she feels more like my daughter, so much that I don't want to be intimate with my girlfriend anymore.She’s kind and buys me small, overpriced gifts with money she doesn’t have. I love her, but my frustration is growing.She started calling things by baby words (potato = patata, and the likes), and shows a growing appreciation for having me do babytalk to her. "Googoo-gaga, who's my little cutiepie?" kind of stuff.She grew up in a broken home. She never got to have a childhood, or loving parents. I'm worried that the trust and stability I show her, is now making her regress more and more to try to re-live that safe childhood she never got to have. What should I do? I feel terrible speaking like this. I want to give her the safety to be naive, and innocent around me, but I can't deny that this isn't normal. Or is it?
>>33619461you have to reflect on two things here>1Is she capable of developing autonomy, and if so then how?>2Why are you with her in the first place? Could it be that underneath her incompetence you have a genuine connection?Find ways to encourage her to learn things and pursue her own interests. If she succeeds, it may even deepen the relationship, because she will have more tools and be more psychologically equipped for deeper levels of intimacy.Find out some hobbies or interests that she has and encourage her to develop those skills, that way she is gaining experience away from you at the same time that you're helping her.Try talking her through something without giving her the answer>"If A and B, then what should we do next?" kind of thing
>>33619502she draws OCs digitally as a hobby, but her skills haven’t improved in over a decade. She watches tutorials, but she doesn’t grasp them. She asks for my help when her drawings look off, but I’m tired of always being the advice-giver. I want a partner who complements my weaknesses, as I complement hers, but she doesn’t really make anything easier for me, save for my own emotional unavailability. I’m with her because she’s sweet, naive, affectionate, and honest, while I'm more the opposite, but these traits feel overwhelming now that I'm in the thick of them.>"If A and B, then what should we do next?" kind of thingsounds a lot like a dad trying to teach his kid as well. But maybe I need to teach her to be independent first, before she can actually act on being independent.
She's the dream girl for some of these guys here.
>>33619920You're damn right. She sounds like a godsend compared to the average woman in my gen (I'm a zoomer.) I can sympathize with OP though if he's older.
>>33619906I had a clingy girl once, she was actually really nice and loyal, and I ended it because I didn't feel good enough for her. Had I been in a better state of mind I would have stuck with her.I think in this case you should try to find her an actual professional art teacher that isn't you, like a professional grade art teacher not some online hentai artist.Encourage her to broaden her social circle, and maybe she will find teachers or role models that will bring about her self development. Be prepared to talk to her about those experiences though, and when she does, keep encouraging her to work through the issue yourself. You can still add your perspective, and maybe then you'll need to learn the balance of communication.Never fail to reflect on your own role in the relationship.
no way, ur gf is male?
Watch Clannad+Afterstory and think hard whether you prefer Nagisa or the other girls.Girls being childlike is kinda traditionally attractive trait, current society preferring independent women is a historical blip. Historically, women are meant to be lead by men and you don't have to feel guilty about that. But like with children, you need to help them improve and not just spoil them and solve everything for them. Being too retarded can be burdensome though. Is she too retarded to raise a child?
>>33619461You're simply gonna have to talk to her about this. there's no alternative solution here.>I’m tired of always being the advice-giver>I'm worried that the trust and stability I show her, is now making her regress more and morethese are your emotions proper and the rest of your post is just wordsElaborate on those, tell her in plain terms that you're gonna burn out if this keeps up. Tell her you can't think for her, nor should youMaybe set up some rigged situation where she has to act independently and succeeds, as a booster
>>33619461Did you think this wouldn't be the case getting a bimbo gf? Honestly the more homely they are the more intelligent they are.
>>33619461Learned helplessness is never acceptable, be gentle and safe but enforce accountability. If she leaves you because you won't enable her, it's for the best long-term.
>>33621848>Watch [anime]I don't even hate anime but this is too autistic.>Girls being childlike is kinda traditionally attractive traitWhen they know how to act childlike. Op has a child... forever.>historical blipWe live in a time of plenty. Women supported their husbandos. >Historically, women are...Not useless burden that fall over dead when times get tough.>But like with childrenThey're adults of the top species on earth. Wtf?>Is she too retarded to raise a child?Mother's intelligence and education is the main determination factor of how well her sons do. Get daughters and sell them for money.
>>33619461my mom is like this too she's genuinely so retarded that for the last ~20 years i've been telling her how to bookmark tabs in chrome and it just never stuck... can you believe that? clicking a little star icon never stuck. if this was a man he'd be deemed mentally retarded by all clinical definition but some women are genuinely just that retarded.i like to watch women play outer wilds on twitch because it's funny as fuck they always just stumble around, fly directly into the sun and go "what happened?" i mean that's fly level intellect right there, that's some moth to flame shit man...you ever read a woman's writing? no logical edge to it, no bite, no promethean spirit... it's all fantasy bullshit or domain specific academic bullshit and the only good female writers were ugly as fuck i mean carson mcullers and flannery o'connor both ugly sickly women who were functionally men for most of their lives. but there will NEVER be a female shakespeare or goethe or celine or robert musil, NEVER in a million niggeryears which is more than 6 million holocaust lightyears if my math is correct.women will NEVER shape epochs they will NEVER take an active role in the transformation of human consciousness they are merely reiterators of its preexisting flows created by men, shaped by colossal intellects they could never hope to understand much less equal in their impotent and cumbersome undulations...anyway virgin master race incel till the day i fucking die
>>33622256>needing things-skills when you have people-skills and get way more gainz from those
>>33622256>flexing by throwing your own mother under the busIt is legitimately comforting that even if you're a useless neet there is always someone further below you>20 yearseven if it's another useless neet. Too busy shaping epochs to get a job?
>>33619461>now put part A into B She will put part A into part C, insist she did everything right, and become frustrated.She isn't suitable to be a parent. While it is true that women have different logic to men, that they still need to be able to function in the same physical world when they have to.. So they only question is: What is your long-term plan?
>>33623592my mom abused me lol
>>33619461It could be that she is pretending to be retarded because she loves the attention you give her. She's like an attention leech, sucking and sucking you dry. The more attention you give her, the more she demands by pretending to be an infantalised adult baby. Before you know it, you'll be dressing her and putting adult diapers on her and carrying her aboutOr, maybe she is actually mentally disabled. If that's the case then she's your responsibility now, good luck
>>33619461Is she by chance traumatized and/or neurodivergent? Was she competent at some point but somehow collapsed under pressure before being with you? This is nothing I can speak for, but I'm just taking a guess based on what information you've provided. It's implied that she may be experiencing some level of age regression, as a retreat from previous struggles that she may be finding difficult to process. It's also possible that if she has been subjected to narcissistic abuse at some point, she was probably talked down to, gaslit, spoken for, and treated like shit to where she got overloaded with stress, then left with mental exhaustion. Which over long enough periods of time, can alter a person's brain. The amygdala can increase in size, while the hippocampus will weaken and decrease in size. Which will make them struggle with memory, comprehension, executive function, problem solving, abstract thinking, reasoning, and make them more likely to respond with emotions above all else. Optional suggestion: Therapy/counseling for her on her own, which could be attending appointments irl, or through vid calls. Couples therapy, so you both can work things out and unpack some shit. She may potentially need medications and/or supplements, since what could also be related to having deficiencies in nutrients, which could influence her overall cognitive function.
>>33619461It isn't normal, and it would be irresponsible for you to enable this behavior from her. Knock off the baby talk now. Speaking of babies, have you talked about marriage/family at all? Can you trust her not to accidentally kill the baby and take the responsibilities of being a wife/mother seriously? The answer is probably no if she expects you to fix every problem.It sounds like she has a genuine learning disability, which can be mitigated by strong initiative on her part to learn problem-solving strategies. Asking you to fix it for her is not a strategy.On the one hand you've got a girl who's loyal to you and whom you can provide for, which is great. But you need to focus on providing the important things to her, not advice for her crappy drawings.
>>33628169>>33624266Kids would be nice some day.>Can you trust her not to accidentally kill the babyWhen I run the scenario of having a baby with her through my mind, I see a very real chance of something terrible happening to the baby while I'm at work, and her going >I didn't know it was bad!When I come back home. And by that time, the baby already ate something poisonous, or was sleeping face-down on his pillow.I think I'll have to have the talk with her, and bring up the prospect of her having a learning disability. Things can't improve if I don't acknowledge them.>>33628138She was actually very mature, and a "proper woman" when we first met. She tried very hard to seem mature, and like she has her stuff together, but the more our relationship became carved in stone, the more comfortable she got acting like a child. I think at least with that, I can maybe nudge her to cut it out. Even though I'll always know that she loves getting babied.
>>33630454>Even though I'll always know that she loves getting babied.I don't think there's anything wrong with this, so long as there's a time and a place. But clearly she knows how to act her age yet simply chooses to have you pick up the slack, which I personally would find very disrespectful.One thing you to keep in mind is that she almost certainly knows that she's an idiot who mixes up her colors and it's probably very upsetting to her deep down. She will need some encouragement that she in fact can solve issues herself. I would present it as an issue with her 'soft skills' (problem-solving) rather than 'hard skills' (school smarts, which I think at her age are fixed. If she mixes up her colors now, then that's just the way it is).I recommend discussing some kind of therapy for her so that she can be more functionally independent. She needs to learn how to follow a simple recipe or know the practical cost of items. How to read a calendar, how to make a grocery list, how to plan for the next day. There are books out there which break down basic life skills for the incompetent. If she wants your love, you need to be clear that she can earn it not by buying pricey trinkets but through putting in the work here. It sucks she never got a good childhood but the honeymoon in this relationship is over and she needs to get with the program.Now, if your problem with her really is just that she doesn't try very hard, then the relationship is still workable because you can cooperate together on this. But if it drives you up a fucking wall that your gf is innately a dum-dum, and you're uncomfortable with that, be honest with yourself because that's not changing. The world will always be a little too big for her.
>>33619461the way you wrote that really evoked some feelings in me. I really get your gf. I really want to give that to a girl, much like your gf..but what I'm lacking aside - I really understand where you're coming from too because you write so eloquently.normal is a construct. you don't have to uphold anyone else's standards. It's your life, It's your eyes, It's your legs. without them you can't see and can't walk. no one else will tell you what to do with your life, you only get 1.You yourself must evaluate if you want to stay, what you can do to change the situation so that you're comfortable, or if you prefer leaving. In any case, I think you're not in the worst situation. I would just concoct an exit plan because boy, as a man being alone is so difficult.I'm telling you as someone who's been alone for just over a year now, after breaking up with my ex of 5 years because she cheated on me. And we lived together for 4.It's difficult man. Just make sure that you got a social network of people and a couple of different communities with separate, different people in each, so that you can line up the next potential relationship. Don't let yourself be alone. Your GF will move on rather quickly and someone else will pick her up, but you gotta make sure you take care of yourself man. Don't let go of your assets so quickly. ask me and share more if you have anything more to ask, and good luck man!!
