>>33621816
Time stamp body in underwear or gtfo.

Do you pick your guys or do they pick you? How have you found your men in the past?

Try to find a guy in the real world. Someone you don't meet online.

don't date moids, they literally just want you to suffer.
i've said it before and i'll say it again. sometimes they admit that they all lie for sex, strangle women without consent (which can permanently injure u), rape, and cheat. imagine what they dont admit. do not fuck moids and avoid talking to them when possible. if u want to fuck so bad try fucking women

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the way you write remind me of poems by frida kahlo. unrelated but you should try poetry or writing

moids do not feel love.

>>33621852
I think I have a problem where I crave unwell men who love deeply. In the past I didn't date much, never felt people were interested in me, because I simply do not have much to offer. I met a guy in person one time, but he changed his mind. Its hard for ugly weird girls. I do not have high standards when it comes to men. Just want them to love and respect me and treat me like I am special. I'm too earnest. It can attract the wrong people.

>>33621871
This is awful to hear. I should stick to books and movies but there's something unwell in me that needs it. Wants to feel loved. Beautiful.

>>33621816
Just learn about nutrition and get in shape and do a skin care routine mostly based around washing your face, moisturizing, and using a retinoid. That's all you can do. Everyone is basically indoctrinated in a cult or feels like you do.

>>33621906
I already take care of my skin. I don't like to be dirty. I also try to workout.

>>33621916
Bodies are built in the kitchen, and sculpted in the gym. Namaste.

>>33621872
Thats kind of you to say.

>>33621878
If you have been craving for someone to love you for the last while then you might just need to take a break from it.

It's unfortunate but I think that for right now you just need to make friends or stick with the ones you do have.

If you don't have guy friends either then try to make some.
It might suck but if what you're trying to do now is find love and it isn't working out then maybe you just need friends until either a friend becomes your partner or someone new comes along and they become your partner.

>>33621953
I don't think the love I crave exists. Its a fantasy created from not going outside. Too many daydreams. Ive been told that I need to be more proactive when it comes to things like dating but I always end up disappointed. Why are men so evil? Are there no good men for ugly women who struggle socially? I'm not even someone who cares that much about looks.

>>33621983
Has it only been black guys so far?

>>33622000
No but this is funny.

>>33621983
>Why are women so evil? Are there no good women for weak men who struggle socially? I'm not even someone who cares that much about personality
Sorry niganon, us rejects are compatible with a lot less people. It's not going to be as easy as it is for someone more attractive. I wish that it's mostly in your head and you figure out how to fix yourself soon enough

>>33621816
You are off-putting by simply being a cat poster, also black is red flag because they arevthe ugliest with the nastiest attitude plus you adding cats its pretty much over.

>>33622233
That really sucks to hear

>>33622263
What is wrong with liking cats. Sir that's retarded. Cats are great.

are you white femanon?

>>33622396
Read post

Pure autism. Should have educated yourself ugly bitch.

>>33622466
You people are so unkind. Thats why you're on 4chan.

>>33621816
>>33621983
It seems like you have a lot going on. Many variables to consider and you're probably looping them in your head too.
Try to simplify and organize these thoughts.
You feel bad for one thing, and then your mind throws all this extra evidence at you to keep you feeling shitty.
Your own mind is playing a trick on you. I've done it to myself before, I wonder if there is a name for it.

But lets say I am your brain, trying to protect you from looking at the MOST hurtful memory you have.
What are the ways I can keep you from looking at it?
I could insult you, make you feel bad, direct your attention towards fantasy, I can even show you the 2ND Most hurtful memory.
So if you can organize which of these things are fodder, which are their own problem, you can parse out what is actually making you feel so terrible.

>I don't think the love I crave exists.
Probably not. What you're describing is a drug, not a feeling.
But that doesn't mean the version of love that DOES exist isn't worth having.
I have noticed the concept of intimacy disappearing from the world.
It's a really powerful thing, but it doesn't look storybook worthy from the outside.
And you can always enjoy the fantasy.
I don't put down a fantasy novel and become depressed that dragons and adventure are not real.
It's there for me to pick up again whenever I want to feel it.
Not to mention there is the whole process of falling in love, and what love is.
You're wanting to skip over all those for a guarantee that you will feel retarded obsessive brain chemicals.
It's not so much about giving up or letting go,
It's more like you just need to squint to see what you thought was a vase was actually 2 faces.

You touched on a lot of other things that deserve it's own consideration,
I'm not really sure which to answer.

>>33622513
Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I mostly want to appreciated for who I am.

>>33622540
You're welcome, I hope I could help some.
>I mostly want to appreciated for who I am.
A good hypothetical consideration is:
Would you like to be appreciated, even if you doesn't feel like that book shit passionate love you described?
I think that's what intimacy is. It has it's own sweet feelings with it, just not the ones described earlier.
There is a philosophical concept called "the big other", among other things it says that we have to perpetually wear masks.
Work, Family, Friends, no matter how close you get with people, there is still some level of mask.
A partner is the one person, in your whole life, that you can actually let see you.
That's what I really want now. Being "Known" by one person.
Is that what you mean by "appreciated for who I am"? Or is it something else?

>>33622586
Yes, but when you're like me most guys aren't interested in that. They just want gross photos or other nasty things. Guys are grandiose sometimes and I fall for it because Im stupid and romantic. But guys just do that stuff to take advantage of girls like me. Its so messed up. I wish I were more pretty and normal.

>>33621816
If you swallow my cum and take it up the ass, I’ll do most anything for you. And don’t be a bitch.

>>33622644
Get out of here dude!

>>33622631
If you did those basic things, I’d treat you good. Make you the best cup of coffee every morning, I don’t need a mother or a maid, I need a real partner and a real conection, just a lot of women don’t want to swallow cum and take it up the ass and not be bitch. I have ptsd and I wear holes in the bed sheets from rest leg syndrome, so I’ll need to suck your tits to prevent that. I’m guessing your appraisal 1500 count Egyptian Cotten type.

>>33622359
Eh, it just means you'll have all the more reason to filter out normie assholes (and non-normie ones too)

>>33622752
Ugly people deserve love too

>>33622631
>Yes.
That's good, that means you're not really delusional on this point. There is hope there.
>but when you're like me most guys aren't interested in that.
>They just want gross photos and other nasty things.
It's difficult to explain because you're not wrong, but you're not right either.
You have to look at it as two separate problems.

>1 When you're like me
I can assure you, pretty girls that have their pick get the exact same treatment.
Just more of it and it probably bleeds into other areas of social experience.
You should really separate any physical insecurities you have from this.
Because men may treat you differently for being ugly, but your potential partner will look over that.

>2 They just want gross (fill in the blank)
I have been trying to think of a way to explain this for some time.
I know the answer, but I don't know how to explain it to women.
Or how to identify a man who is capable of intimacy.
Men don't really make it easy either.
Let me think on that for a bit.

>>33622761
>unattractive
ftfy
you're preaching to the choir, op. I am one of those

Come on brown sugar you in? I was married to a hot woman, she was a bitch, the ugliest person on the inside I ever met. I’m not shallow, I just know what I like. Illl bring you flowers too. Take you to nice places and make passionate love to you, after you’ll swallow my cum and take it up the butt because I don’t watch porn or jerk off, illl save it all for you. I’m older too but I keep in good shape. I’ll be coming to California in December, I’m working in Canada for an oil and gas company. Also I want dirty talk like “fuck my nigger pussy” and I wanna call you a nigger. I also want to dress us up in time period clothing and we role play master and slave and I get you pregnant, but I choose your love and the children you give me over the reputation, but I also go back to fight in the war of northern aggression and everyone respects us after and we can kiss passionately in public. I mean that will come in time obviously, right now sit on my face and see where it goes from there.

>>33622786
Sometimes Im not sure if Im ugly or not, but I know Im different from other girls. I don't have a perfect body and my face is odd and round. My guy friend says Im pretty but to be honest he's kind of not very attractive too. Ive been rejected for my looks but also looked at in way that seem like maybe Im not ugly. Ive been called sort of pretty. I think I am a 5 on a good day. Its all very confusing for me.

>>33622789
You must be trolling.

>>33622810
my bet would be you're too insecure and anxious and that's a factor in being a spaz, as well as in feeling like you're not normal
problem is you want to get feedback that isn't going to be just "ur stunning and brave hon u go girl" nor "ugly bitch you should be glad I give you the time of day"

>>33622789
I think you might be fully retarded.
>OP)How do I find someone to consider my feelings?
>Ignore how they feel
>Larp porn fantasy at them
>even in fantasy only consider yourself
The board you're looking for is /soc/

>>33622839
I think Im just okay looking but I feel like other people think Im hideous. But my guy friends says Im adorable. He tries to help me feel better. I think Im mid but people say Margot Robbie is mid so I must not be very pretty at all.

I have dated pretty girls and ugly girls. Ultimately what mattered to me was friendship. I just wanted someone I can talk to and savor the existence of.

Lately my inclination is more religious, particularly Jewish because I'm becoming more religious and want to feel bolstered by my partner on that journey. I'm engaged and hopeful that despite our religious differences we won't crash and burn after marriage.

Ultimately OP my story is to tell you that you can find what you want even if you look strange. There is beauty in eccentricity. I and my partner are both a little spectrum in our own way, which is probably why I don't express standard behavior.

>>33622840
Little bit, but it’s tbi, not retardation. Unfortunately for you, I would love to slide into a brown peice of ass, it would
Mimic a solar eclipse with the white in black. Everytime I try to meet one they think im fucking with them. Beauty is truly on the inside man, like I’ve been called handsome my whole life, when I was in the army, they said I was way to pretty to be doing this, when I got into oil and gas they said I was way too smart to be doing this. When I told friends that I like women who been left under the sun longer than ours, they all thought I was joking, but when I did jerk off and watch porn, it was always the ebony ones getting fucked in the ass. Lady, if you’re an enchanting nigress, I’d run you down with cocoa butter Lotion, but the right amount of old bay on your eggs, and a healthy dusty of lowerys for the chicken.

>>33622897
You crazy man

>>33622915
I have a small dick tho, but she can peg me if she’s into that. I love a fat black ass in tight jeans too. I would dry hump
Her everytime she bent over. If she had bits of toilet paper in her snatch while eating her out, I wouldn’t care. She could fart in my face and it would be a love cloud, be so hot to her one day “fuck my nigger ass white boy”

>>33622931
Watching black tits jiggle in brightly coloured bras cause the contrast too. Doesn’t take much for a nigress to turn me on, they got those purple assholes too. Big lips. She could degrade me, I’d even let her shit and piss on me.

File: IMG_0106.jpg (1.06 MB, 1170x1311)

1.06 MB JPG

If she looked something similar to this, fuck yeah it’s be like making love to aunt Jermiah.

>>33622810
>>33622862

I think women underestimate the versatility of what men can be attracted to.
Women seem to have a hot or not camp with general concurrences.
When I talk to men about preferences, they typically would have sex with anything with a pulse,
However they give weird specifics like "but I really like girls with a big nose and long feet".
Men are weird, and their proclivities are often unconventional.

My point is, don't be so hard on yourself about the specifics of where you feel ugly.
That is how women value each other, not men.
I'm not saying that looks don't matter, but they definitely don't matter in the way you have described.

I think this is where attractiveness gets very complex for women.
There are different scales for judging attractiveness.
On a linear scale of Danny Devito in a dress to Margot Robbie, your attractiveness is judged by women and gay men.
This scale dictates how nice women are to you (on a bell curve) and how much free shit you get.
Margot Robbie, gets a lot of free shit.
But the scale of finding a relationship looks more like the political compass chart.
The only way they correlate is, the closer to Margot Robbie you are on the first scale, usually the wider your diameter on the chart.
If I was in a room with a 5 and Margot Robbie, I would choose the 5.
Because I would never want to marry a famous actress, that sounds like hell.

So you really gotta separate your attractiveness from this problem.
What you're missing out by not being hotter is free stuff, and more gross pictures.

>>33622953
People really just get on here and say the most insane shit.

>>33622955
Im just trying to make sense of where I stand in the world/

I worry about what Im willing to put myself through to be loved. Girls like me are stupid and easy to take advantage.

>>33622955
There is also a huge dietary/neurochemical component to experiencing love.
Women primarily bond through the hormone Oxytocin, which is released from physical contact among other things. Sometimes called the Lovey-dovey or Cuddle chemical.
Men bond primarily through Vasopressin, which has more to do with "Hey, we make a Good Team".
I've come across a lot of women who say "I'm obsessed over this guy, how come he's not obsessed over me?"
Because the requirements for deep emotional bonding are different.
Post orgasm, a woman's brain floods with Oxytocin, and a man's brain floods with Prolactin.
Which just makes his brain relaxed and sleepy.
Men really bond to women when things go smoothly and they’re better off.
They feel like you make a good team together and things get easier with you, not harder.
They can accomplish more with the same effort.
Then their brain floods with Vasopressin, and they experience the same bonding women do on Oxytocin.

So a 100x more valuable than how attractive you are is how you can make a guys life better/easier.
Think about the kind of guy you want to date, and what would actually be valuable to him in that way.
>>33622870
>I'm becoming more religious and want to feel bolstered by my partner on that journey.
Like this guy, he's asking for support on his religious studies.
I don't think that means "You must also learn the Torah",
That means, "give me some space when I'm studying, listen when I want to talk about what I learned, don't make fun of me for being into this."

>>33623023
The dietary component is there is a gut bacteria called Lactobacillus Reuteri, you can get it as a supplement. Mix it in some yogurt.
Lactobacillus Reuteri is the primary gut bacteria that generates the hormone Oxytocin.
Men do have Oxytocin bonding, it's just not as strong as it is in women.
This bacteria is almost extinct from the general population, because fast processed food actually kills it.

So as a species, we have virtually eliminated the building blocks to feel deep love from our bodies.
Because McPlastics are so tasty and cheap, now no one can feel love as strongly as they did 3 generations ago.

>>33622992
>Im just trying to make sense of where I stand in the world/
By which parameters?

>>33623009
>I worry about what Im willing to put myself through to be loved.
>Girls like me are stupid and easy to take advantage.
That is difficult. It's dangerous on 2 fronts. the unknown and the vulnerability.
Like going into the woods with no weapon. You don't know what's in there, and even if you did there's still no way to defend yourself.
Is that kind of what it feels like?

Also, sorry for the rambling, I'm kind of organizing a lot of thoughts for the first time here.

>>33623030
>In mice: gut L. reuteri clearly modulates social behavior via oxytocin pathways.
PMC
>In humans: we don’t have causal evidence that absence of L. reuteri (or similar microbes) impairs pair-bonding. Human pair-bonding is multi-determinant (oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine, life history, context). Intranasal oxytocin studies in people show mixed, context-dependent effects on social reward and bonding—underscoring that even direct oxytocin manipulation doesn’t yield uniform outcomes.
>Practical takeaways
>Treat L. reuteri as a potential modulator, not a “source” of your bonding hormone. The gut can signal to the brain (vagus, hormones, immune mediators), but we can’t apportion “how much of your oxytocin” comes from microbial influence
t.otally unbiased AI

>>33621816
Ignore all that stuff. How big are your tits?

>>33623090we
>No causal evidence that absence of L. reuteri impairs pair-bonding
I wonder what the study was.
>Raise your hand if you hate your husband more than you did 20 minutes ago.
>Results inconclusive.
Or maybe it's not been tested outside rats because no one gives a fuck about nutritional science.

>>33623082
Whats available to me and what's not. What is and isn't reasonable fo someone who is where I stand in the world in terms of personality, looks, etc.
I mean its like knowing somethings bad, but some is making you feel nice or you a false hope that maybe this person is different.

>>33623102
Dude

>>33622931
Your pee pee small

>>33623641
>I mean its like knowing somethings bad, but some is making you feel nice or you a false hope that maybe this person is different.
Could you rephrase this?
It's a little confusing.
Maybe write a hypothetical scenario?

>>33627059
I mean its like knowing somethings bad, but someone is making you feel nice or you have a false hope that maybe this person is different.
fixed that sentence. Im kind of retarded at typing. Idk its like talking to degenerate retards because they act nice even though they have less than noble intentions. Im vulnerable in that way. Girls like me who aren't too pretty and are a little off and haven't always had people be nice to them are easy targets in that sense. Its real bad.

>>33627125
I see, so does it feel almost like gas-lighting yourself?
Rationality says "This person is abusive".
Feelings say "You can't do better and maybe they will change" (lie)
And so now you're stuck, feeling bad, tolerating abuse.
To afraid to leave to afraid to stay.
And you feel like you have a higher chance of this situation occurring if you are considered "low value".

If I perceive that right, It sounds scary.
My first thought is, I don't know if it's so much about "targeting" as like a statistical outcome.
I haven't met everybody, but I don't think guys generally "target" women SO THAT they can specifically take advantage of them.
Unless it's like a sex trafficking thing, but that's something else entirely.
I think guys take anything they can get, and if they are self involved + Think you wont leave = it's fine to go ahead and abuse her.
But that's all after you're a ways in.
If you are a 5 like you say, absolutely don't go for a 9 - 10 dude.
They will treat you like that for sure.

I'm doing a lot of guessing and generality here, so I'm gonna think on it a bit.

What do you think?

>>33627249
I guess it is like gaslighting myself. I just want someone to love me real bad because mental illness. I try to stay in my league when it comes to guys. Im open to even "low value" men as long the person is kind to me. I care more about the inside.
Maybe they don't target, but I have been in situations that make me sad. Luckily not too many.

>>33627336
>not too many.
Good. Protect yourself.

Maybe a good way to know is to judge the guy.
If he has something he's trying to do, you can support him and he will be nice.
If all he wants to do is play video games then it's not support it's enabling.
But even that isn't the worst thing if he is still grateful.
I say that because I can think of 3 categories of guy off the top of my head.
Some guys, make it their full time job getting laid.
(Click around, you will see some on this board)
Some guys are just hateful incels, they've been alone too long and they're not ready to change.
The last is a guy trying to do something that needs help and probably a cheerleader.
When you're meeting guys, think which box they might belong in, and it could save you some heartache.
The other major thing is working on your own mental illness.
If you can give your partner clear instructions about what you need, they can usually do it.
But it can't just be your partner, you need a team.
A psych, pills, health, friend, therapist.
You dump all of that stress on one person and it's too much.
I've both done it and had it done to me.

So if your future guy sees, you're not making him an enemy, you're telling him clearly what you need, and you are working hard to not let it hurt him, I bet 99% of guys would be understanding.

>>33621816
>>33627336
Have you been able to untangle some of this yet?
What do you think overall?

>>33627654
I mean I go to therapy, I do things to help with my mental health. I don't expect someone to solve me. I haven't for a couple years. I'm trying to work on my self worth and dogshit websites like this don't help. You can meet bad people who say awful things. Makes you feel hopeless.
Its hard for me because if a guy comes off sweet and is nice I can't help but want to give him a chance. Even if he's not totally ideal. I like when people are nice to me and feel this need to give something in return. I'm not always totally helpless. but I'm susceptible. If a guy says I'm beautiful enough times I might fold.

>>33621816
Ill date you op we can close this thread. Unless you only posted this for attention then keep whining

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>>33621816
Mid women give me the -ick. Ugly women I just feel sorry for them for maybe one second then look away but mid women give me the ick, especially when they open their mouth about some inane bullshit nobody cares about.

>>33622953
Do you realize how nasty that women you posted is? Not only is she overweight but also middle aged with saggy skin. Black women are fucking nasty in general and many of them stink bad down there. You'd go soft immediately if she took her clothes off. At least post a sheboon in her twenties next time moron.

>>33628184
I posted this because I was feeling really empty and alone.

>>33628273
Thats not very kind. Are you attractive?

Its not inane bullshit to me. It means a lot. I jus t want to be loved by someone who makes me feel lovely. But I have to sort through so much bullshit because of my looks and the other stuff. I just get so depressed.

>>33628168
>I do things to help with my mental health
Good. It can feel hopeless, but keep working on it. You CAN live with it, you just have to learn how.
The most important part for this purpose is not letting it punish your partner.
For that you have to know what it does to you, know what you need to treat it, ask for that help clearly.
If you can do that, that dude will feel like a hero, not an enemy.
>If a guy comes off sweet, I want to give him a chance.
Let me know what you think about this idea.
You recognize you have this compulsion to be vulnerable.
Which is good, that is normal. I think you should try to honor that.
However, how do you differentiate an actually sweet guy from a manipulator?
There must be signs, red flags.
Make a list of these signs in advance.
Then when you feel this, you will know:
Imagine your list is 10 things that manipulators have tangentially.
>0/10 Safe
>3/10 Proceed with caution
>6/10 DANGER
You can raise the standard if you feel that isn't careful enough, but I wouldn't lower it.

Part of why it's important to write the list BEFORE hand is idk what you have, but cluster B is common among women and a symptom of most cluster B involves evidence collection.
Some people call it list building.
So if you have one of these, and you're looking for reasons this guy is potentially unsafe, your brain will give them to you.
That's how people break up for strange reasons.
"I dumped them because they have a pathos plant and an electric toothbrush so I just couldn't..."
What?
So you need a metric by which to judge all of these guys against.
And if in the moment, your feelings are pressuring you into giving a guy a chance,
remember there is nothing wrong with asking for a day to consider.

>>33632258
In fact, I might make this the first test.
This primarily will work for extremes but it's probably a good practice.
No matter what, when you have this feeling when propositioned, ask for a day to think about it.
A good guy would be understanding, at worst a bit nervous.
I think I would be more interested, excited to meet a girl who is thoughtful.
However a "nice guy" is trying to be nice to use women to sate his ego.
There's no consideration for the woman and her feelings.
the entire interaction is only about fulfilling HIS desires.
There can be no intimacy without reciprocity.
So this kind of guy is likely to "blow-up" become angry.
If you only represent the validation or denial of his ego, that provokes an anger response.

This might only weed out the most extreme guys, but my gut tells me it's a good practice.
Also to note, all guys probably start this way and have to grow out of it.
It's part of perception development. So it's less a question of categorization and more about maturity.
I know I didn't understand this until I was about 25.
I've met guys who got it way before me, and guys who never get it.
But that's to say the younger you are, the more likely you will experience the manipulative guy.

I know a few other ways to test if a guy is into you,
If you are interested in that advice as well.

Weird question, did you ever work at Dell?