File: aikyan sudden shock.gif (3.89 MB, 465x472)

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Can someone tell me what is wrong with my mind / methods to circumvent how it works? For some reason my brain keeps switching between two modes, for months on end. I am mostly referring to hobbies / studying skills here.
I have periods of time where I do not want to do anything. Not necessarily in a depressed "nothing is enjoyable" way, I acknowledge things are enjoyable but the act of doing them feels daunting or like a chore. I don't want to do anything despite knowing I should, no internal drive to be proactive. Sometimes doing something feels like I am "locking in" a specific amount of time which is off putting, marking myself just another hour closer to sleeping, losing free time, etc. rather than viewing this as the opportunity to get to do something I enjoy for X amount of time. I spend months doing nothing because setting a daily quota is too stressful, and have no real thing binding me to do anything at all. Time keeps slipping by, I waste more and more of it, and could have been so much farther along had I stayed consistently normal.
I have moments where I feel a resurgeance, I recognize the person I want to be, the life I wanna build but just....can't...........until I can - everything I just said will suddenly 180 one day and last...a month or so before reversing.
If I sound familiar with all this it's because I am. When I started my current job I had a 6 month malaise, so, I thought it was stress at first, set very low quotas for myself, but also didn't stress about doing things each day - acknowledged focusing on the long term vs. short term, etc. but it just only lasted a month and i barely got stuff done....
I just wanna be productive with my hobbies and goals yet never want to do anything, I go to work, come home, and that's it.