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For ten years, 2015 to present, from the age of 18 to 28, I've had a habit of listing every single piece of media I've finished in order chronologically on a notepad file on my laptop. It seemed harmless at a glance but in retrospect it's made my hobbies an obligation, and with the increasing sunken cost I find it strangely difficult to pull away. But I should. Maybe I did it because I find comfort in structure and routine in my life? Maybe I did it to give me some sense of progress in a world without any? Maybe I did it to hide myself away, the illusion of progress stealing actual progress from my grasp? I don't know, right now I'm probably just doing the NoFap thing where I tell myself if I do this one simple thing all my problems will magically fix themselves. The world doesn't work like that. But maybe it's the small changes that set things right, y'know? I shouldn't get home from work stressed that I'm not making progress towards finishing a fucking novel within a set period of time. I shouldn't be making and modifying meticulous checklists on my phone optimising my fun time. Ten years is a good round number, it appeals to my insanity, it would make sense to stop this year... Should I stop? What if I lose track of how many times I've replayed my favourite games...?

No, mom & dad, I won't be getting some other menial, mind-numbing job. I will pursue my dreams & don't try to give me a chance when things start getting goo, because you were NEVER there for me when I found out what I really wanted to do in life. I will show all of you that I won't settle for less & that chasing my dreams CAN be possible despite the hardships!

Been married 2 years, but have never been able to stop looking at other women. I LOVE bitches. Scrolling on social media peaks my curiosity but nothing better than seeing a sexy girl in the flesh. If a women has great assets, or is just pretty, I have to look.

Almost got caught peeping by the wife once, at a department store. Followed her through the women's clothes and came across a chick with some HUGE titties. One of those girls that know men look at her so she always looks up and around when someone walks by. Totally caught me looking, but her sudden movement caught my wife's attention and she looked at her then turned to look at me. Wasn't ever scolded so I seemed to be safe and that only encouraged me to do it again.

Love my wife but fuck it, I'm a perv. If I see a fine ass bitch I've GOT TO look.

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>>33645367
I was reflecting on this the other day. Some people really don't ever go through a meta shift in their entire reasoning and perception framework in their lives.

I was a kid and had one way of thinking and interpreting information, but due to events around then, I've been stuck in a second "meta framework" (as I call it) for my brain's entire information processing apparatus since then.

I.e. when I was a kid, my brain interpreted my identity as part of a whole (family, community, nation), but not really distinct or separate, and my entire reasoning and value system back then was through that lens.

Anyways, some weird shit later, and the only lens I can see things through now is that I can't even vouch for the sentience of other people and I see myself as wholly separate as an entity from others.

This bitch didn't leave social media because she felt bad about having an affair with a married man
She left because she got fat and didn't have any good pics of herself

Karmic cycles are real
You will attract the same troubles multiple times in your life until you learn to walk away

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Every girl I've had a crush on and talked to is either taken or has a crush on someone else. When will it be my turn.

>>33645367
It's been 2 months since she blocked me everywhere, 4 months since we broke up. I still think about her constantly and hope for another chance that I'm starting to think won't come. Even if I don't get another chance I'd just like to know that she's doing well. But she's gone and I have no real links besides a couple tertiary friends that she barely saw anyways. I'd give anything to see her smile and hear her laugh again. I know I fucked up, I was a broken mess and tried drinking it away and when I blacked out I'd do and say things I'd never do in my right mind. I'm sorry I hurt you, I just wish you gave me a proper chance to show that I can be better.

>>33645770
I feel you. Moved to other city and thought to myself, "maybe now with all new people, I will find the one".

and there are interesting canidates. but I seem to have no chance. either is taken or is already bonding way better in my new friend circle.

I wish you that your time comes soon

Whoever says cleaning is easy is fucking delusional. I swept, vacuumed, did the dishes, dusted, did two loads of laundry and it took me hours and hours, my back hurts so fucking bad. I didn't even do a super thorough job everything still needs mopped and some areas need spot cleaned. I wish I was a princess I hate this shit

I fucked up again. damn it. I put all of the blame on my inexperience.

I always feel deep regret and anger after going to on-site job interviews and participating in assessments, but not getting the job. I don't feel as bad if it's all online, because it didn't inconvenience me that much. But putting in that extra effort (having to move around my entire day and transportation arrangements) only to get a generic
>After careful consideration, and at this time, moving forward, other candidates, no thanks
email.

It always makes me wish I never gave them the courtesy of showing up to the interview.

It especially pisses me off that they try to tell me that I don't have the skills or experience that I really do have. Employers can go to hell. Total employer annihilation.

>>33645909
It's easy when you do few tasks in small bursts over time rather than large cleaning events that take you hours. Small efforts of maintenance for a few minutes every day compounds over time so you don't have to hurt your back for hours on a day off or whatever.

>>33645933
I wish there was a way to get revenge on employers for wasting my time. I hate them.

>>33645952
I agree with you completely but my unit just gets really dusty, it's visible after only 2 days. Feels like I am Atlas of dust

>>33645367
People keep telling me I'm a wonderful guy moments before they reject me as a person. It is infuriating.
In total so far since mid August, 5 people have walked out on me. I have never experienced something like this, and they all left with almost identical empty praises. Friends, partners, colleagues. It's all so sudden. It's like they've coordinated, but i know for a fact these people have never met and do not know each other. It has made me feel disgusting and unwanted. I don't know what to do. I am sad, but i have no one to talk to about it, because the people i have left are dependant on me and look up to me for guidance and stability in their lives. I want to vomit, but I'm just too tired...

Some weird lady filmed me today that was creepy asf wtf

why is it that my mind keep alternating between self-improvement and self-destruction?

one day I'm optimistic and motivated to do whatever it takes to reach my goals. the next day I'm overwhelmed, don't care about anything and I'd rather be dead.
I can't plan make any plans for the future when my brain is switching between positive and negative mindset all the time.

BITCH! FUCK YOU!
*gallops away on my metal horse*

spent over an hour in an aa meeting today for the first time. rough day today but i'm getting it done. tomorrow is going to probably be the hardest day for a few reasons but i did it for over a month less than a few weeks ago. this whole episode was a small slipup and it's just good things from here. i can't hate myself anymore. i hope i can make it right and that's the best i can do.

>>33645753
That's not how karma works.
It is based on the Golden rule.
Walking away will lead to others walking away.

>>33646144
>This whole episode was a small slipup and it's just good things from here. i can't hate myself anymore. i hope i can make it right and that's the best i can do.

Same

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So it begins again. Coulds cover the sky, the temperature goes down, the wind will blow, the sun will disappear sooner... And with that my mood is slowly becoming more melancholic. Every year when I see the first signs of it happening I get the picture of a cold dark evening in my head. It's uncomfortable. It's not lively. It's stern. It's like going from a sleeping on a couch to sleeping on the floor.
And I know that realistically nothing changes and that I should be actually happy right now but when I see and feel the weather my mind goes into blues. It didn't use to be this way. It's probably because it was fall and winter when I had my heaviest depression episode. And I got better in summer. Since then I associate fall and winter with melancholia.

>the cute lady who works where I work avoids even looking at me
creepbros....

I need someone who knows me well to tell me that I am better than my mistakes and I am worthy of love.

I feel like a worthless piece of shit and I need someone to convince me I’m more than that.

>>33645367 is this all there is?

I've moved. Studying something fulfilling. I've been gaining new friends, keeping the good ones. I have a GF who I think still loves me (she broke up with me but we got back together). I have passions and hobbies. I'm an important person in other people's lives.

I've tried meditiation. Philosophy. Booze. Doing less, doing more.

But still - I am unhappy.

What the fuck.

Girls who never learn to stop running around and chasing validation are the most embarrassing
They become more desperate for love the older they get and are always throwing themselves at another person clinging to their hope that it works out
They don't see their own self worth and are never content

I'm going to drive myself crazy looking at pictures of Tatiana. I want it so badly. I deserve it. Life is just a dream you know that is never ending. I am ascending.

There was this guy i met online once. He was weird and older than me. It was anonymous but i think he wanted me to be his yesman cause he'd constantly get into arguments with others and would talk to me, wanting me to side with him. Would talk to me about porn, mostly fictional. Never told him i was 12/13 at the time but i suspect he knew. Sometimes i catch myself typing like him and i feel a bit more ruined

Anons why does everyone at my job look like my fren or have zoomer broccoli hair?

>>33646690
Broccoli hair helps your face look thinner and everyone is insecure about their weight cause of the obesity epidemic.

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This is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. She's just so poised and feminine. Like, she has to be the girliest girl to ever live. I cannot believe I get to call her mine in the future. We are going to have so much fun, I absolutely cannot wait. The suspense is fucking killing me.

I love you Birdy. I haven't met you yet but I know I will. There is an intelligence in those eyes and emotions. You can clearly see that you're thinking all the time. You are my love, my forever, my little bloodfeather.

>>33646763
She's ok but Id only call her a 7

holy fucking shit i cannot socialise to save my fucking life. i ruin every fucking relationship i get into. amicable. platonic. romantic. familial. whatever.

i always embarass myself in public. i am so fucking clumsy. not in a cutesy klutz kinda way. moreso in a fucking dumbass idiot way. i bump into walls and people like they're got magnetism. my voice is either too fucking loud in quiet environments, or too quiet and unclear in loud environments. i cannot wear headphones in public because i start to hear my own breathing and think it sounds too loud and that i'm being weird. and on public transport i try to stay isolated from as many bodies as possible, because i always have the stupid fucking feeling that people are staring at me and judging me.

i always embarass myself intimately. i have ruined so many platonic and romantic relationships because i always sabotage them. it's all my fault. this is just truth, not some woe-is-me kind of plea for sympathy. i had friends that reached out to me and asked me if i was okay and if i wanted to hang out. but i always ghosted them. and now i have no friends. i don't even feel close to my family. i don't even know if i want to socialise with people, because whenever i do, i feel terrible. i idolise the idea of socialisation, but resent and despise the action itself.

i somehow manage to embarass myself anonymously. on this fucking board, i end up writing the most cringe-worthy and second-hand-embarassment-inducing posts of all time.

i genuinely think i am destined to be alone. this mindset is not set in stone, because you never know what can happen. but currently, it doesn't look good.

>>33646598
>>33646763
Fuck off with your gay ass larp. no one cares

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>>33646767
She's on a whole other level. Like, you can't assign her a number her beauty is just timeless. Like a romantic victorian painting. She looks like a Bouguereau painting come to life.
>>33646810
If I were you, I would be jealous too.

>>33646598
Tatiana is not a larp, she is actually a beauty who hangs out in the hotel bar a little too often.

>>33646824
>>33646828
I'm not jealous. I'm just tired of your bullshit

>>33646836
seem pretty jelly to me.
>>33646828
kek, I can see that.

>>33646839
It's impossible to be jealous over a LARP.

If anything it's just incredible how obsessed over me you are

>>33646863
This entire world exists for me, birdy, and gwen. I don't know what you're trying to achieve by being retarded but ok.

>>33646876
So go out and be in the world with them and stop being here. You make a single more post about them here then you are now confirming that the world does not meant for you and them because you are not in them with it outside of here.

So to confirm, make a single more post about them to prove that the world does not for you in them and you will never be together ever again.

>>33646895
Can't yet for some stupid reason. It's all in the future. Wish I knew why but I don't. Just gotta sit tight and wait it out.

It's gonna happen just don't know when.

>>33646895
also it's that creepy ethereal shit. You have to be some kind of AI bot or something to keep making retarded posts like this. You just keep going and going and going despite knowing for a fact this world isn't yours and it revolves around me. I just don't understand why people like you exist. To just double down on the "This isn't about you, MAN." dumb shit when it clearly is. It's so fucking creepy. It's like none of you can think for yourselves and are being controlled by some kind of super computer. It doesn't make any sense that it's been 39 years and only maybe 2 people have broken character and even then it wasn't that much of broken character.

Imagine watching the truman show and even at the end everyone stays in character. It would seem absolutely fucking insane to constantly gaslight truman when the entire charade has been blown apart. Either everyone would be incredibly stupid or there's some kind of divine power keeping everyone in character. It's so fucking creepy.

I should be honest with myself, the reason she looks at me is because I make her uncomfortable. That is why she always looked away in some exaggerated way when our eyes met. I Just wanted to pretend it was something else because it made me feel good.

I'm just gonna be on my ignant shit

>>33646906
Well I guess the world's never meant for you and her. Sorry bud. Reply once again to finalize it for the future forever going forward

>>33646934
Exactly what I'm saying to anon about Birdie. Thank you for repeating what I just said. Very helpful

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>>33645367
The "empathy is a disease" crowd really expect me to suddenly get woke and nice for Charlie Queef?
The mechanism of selective compassion in the name of continuing to hide pure evil is outrageous. Degenerates.

>>33646944
Cool sounds like a good thing for you to accept

it's over.

>>33647011
Charlie murked

>>33647022
Once again you sat this, and because you said it once again you've proven that the time between it was not over. Which leads me to believe that it is still not over

>>33647002
You have to be a bot. There is no other explanation.

I've realized that wanting a significant other with reasonable criteria is somehow fucking impossible mathematicaly. Just bare minimum is not possible somehow.

Bare goddam mimimun:
•physicaly healthy, not obese, no deformities, no stds
•mentaly healthy, not on drugs
Literaly impossible.

And this says nothing of
•being sexualy compatible
•being socialy compatible
•physical proximity
•can be an adult when needed, can be a kid when possible
•didn't make life destroying choices before meeting you
•can have difficulty conversations when needed

I'm somehow supposed to find a local person that isn't +100k in debt, isn't taking ssri's, isn't obese, isn't infertile, isn't ugly, doesn't have 2 prior kids, and doesn't abuse others. I'm supposed to somehow do this through an App or not. I've not even met one that had 2 of those correct irl. I've been swiping for the last 2 months and have gotten literaly no responses.

Notice I didn't even mention gender, or most peoples insane criteria like "makes 100k a year" thats how much I'm streaching this criteria to try and make sense.

I don't want casual sex with ugly "adults". I want a healthy reliable sane human.
Fuck me, am I right?

>>33647033
Deepthroat legend o7

I'm so very tired of taking care of my wife. I promised I'd take care of her through sickness and health but jesus christ, her mental state has been in such a shit place (fucking depression) that she spends all her time in our room, only coming out on occasion if we have family over (which can only happen once every few months because it mentally exhausts her to be in any way social). How long am I supposed to play caretaker to a grown ass woman? When do I get to worry about my own mental health? Is this just how things are going to be for the rest of our lives?

If we take Rhodesia as a precedent, where 50 Whites can easily kill and defeat 2000 Blacks, then in order to wipe out the whole African continent of 1 billion, only 25 million Whites are needed.
That is ASSUMING the Africans are equally or better equipped than the Whites.

I wish I were sterile. Motherhood is a curse. I don't even feel like a person anymore. Everyone keeps talking about "the next one" though I've only just pushed this one out of me. I'm just going to have to disappoint everyone I guess, because I'm not fucking doing this again.

>>33647191
What country you live in where birth control isn't freely available in many forms? Also you might have post partum or something idk

>>33647154
Yes.
But when you point out that 40 blacks < 1 white, retards lose thier mind.
Not to mention, whites want blacks to leave them alone, not exterminate them.

>>33647191
Women where a mistake.
Kids are more important than you, you spoiled bitch.

>>33647052
The other explanation is schizophrenia.
But you're probably correct.

>>33647204
I'm ok with exterminating them.

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>>33647022
is it ever really over?

>>33645367
i feel so retarded. i want more knowledge. a knowledge quest perhaps? i need to understand everything

>>33647203
>might have post partum
Lol yeah probably

>>33647217
I meant in general.
I admit they are worthy of it.

>>33647191
I read that jewish doctors inject drugs into women during labor to fuck them psychologically so that they don't emotionally connect with the baby and hate it instead

>>33647223
yes.

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>>33645367
I HATE BEING CIRCUMCISED! I HATE BEING CIRCUMCISED! I HATE BEING CIRCUMCISED! I HATE BEING CIRCUMCISED! I HATE BEING CIRCUMCISED! I HATE BEING CIRCUMCISED! I HATE BEING CIRCUMCISED! I HATE BEING CIRCUMCISED! FUCKKKK I HATE HOW VIDEOGAMES LIKE CYBERPUNK AND BALDERS GATE HAVE A CIRCUMCISION OPTION IN THE CHARACTER CREATION SCREEN. IT'S FUCKING AWFUL I FUCKING HATE IT. I HATE HOW PANTY AND STOCKING EXISTS WHERE CTHEY MAKE CIRCUMCISION JOKES. I FUCKING HATE THAT TRIGGER A COMPANY I USUALLY LIKE MAKES CIRCUMCISON JOKES. FUCK I HATE CIRCUMCISION. I HATE THIS PRACTICE SO FUCKING MUCH. FUCK ANYONE WHO SUPPORTS THIS. YOU'RE THE REASON I CUT MYSELF YOU MOTHERFUCKER

>>33647191
>I don't even feel like a person anymore.
Fuck dude I know what you mean. Your whole life revolves around making sure a tiny little sack of shit and screams doesn't do anything to kill themselves, and what do you have to show for it? Memorized nursery rhymes and whatever books they happen to be obsessed with on the off chance you singing to them will calm them down when they decide they're pissed off and they don't want a bottle and their diaper is clean (and that's to say nothing of if this happens when someone else is present, because you just fucking know they're judging you for not being able to immediately calm your own damn child down immediately). And every day you perservere, holding out hope you'll see something, anything that might prove there is a light at the end of the tunnel: a step, a word, anything to prove that they are actually developing into a person who doesn't need you to fucking interact with them every two minutes so you can mentally unwind just a little bit (and sometimes they do something new, only for it to be the most annoying fucking thing imaginable like sticking a fucking finger down their throat because it's a weird new sensation and they like making you freak out that they might make themselves puke). And god forbid you express any of this to anyone, because they'll give you shallow platitudes about how it's a magical experience that is so rewarding, which is easy for them to say since they're not the ones dealing with piss on their shirt or figuring out what the little nightmare is willing to eat today since they just want to throw the meal you worked hard on onto the ground.

>>33647287
That's true, but I refused everything and had a midwife instead of doctors. I don't get to blame the jews, I'm just weak and shitty.
>>33647403
It's barely been more than a month and the only thing keeping me from shooting myself is the kid going to school. So if I can just grit my teeth for four years...
>god forbid you express any of this to anyone
Lol yeah, no chance of that happening. Everyone is always fawning over the baby and are so happy about it. But they get a full, uninterrupted night's sleep every night instead of pacing the house for house every night, begging the shrieking creature to just go the fuck to sleep so you don't kill the both of you. I'm not built for this.

>>33645367
I keep on regularly believing in impossible goals that, once they come crashing down from their unrealistic approaches and aims, I become suicidely depressed over. Problem is, without the aims I end up horrifically depressed anyway.

My latest aim was to try and make a kind of biological sex doll vat wife that I would be able to have children with. Since it feels like regular relationships are so off the table for me. I would, hopefully, be able to give her some kind of personality and free will but I'm not god so I doubt it. It would be having a non-human homonculus assist in raising my kids and birthing them. But unable to have a conversation and make decisions on their own in all likelyhood. which I would want. A bad dream to have but closer to reality than what I was dreaming of before.

I just want to have a family, man. And live in a small town with a community in it that I'm apart of like the one I grew up in.

>>33646264
She probably does look at you

Currently in my 4th and hopefully last year of college. I've made no friends, havent had any sex, and dont go to events. I haven't had the usual 'college experience'. I wonder if I missed out? A part of me is a little regretful that I didnt do anything but another larger part doesnt seem to mind. My college is about an hours drive from my house so that also played a big part to just not wanna do anything. I dont drink or smoke and parties aren't for me.
Idk, my last year just started and maybe ill do something. Probably not.

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hreev is a real tribe jah exists

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I feel like other people just look 'cleaner' than me, in some way I can't put into words. Their skin looks cleaner. Their teeth, their hair. They look so much more put together.

I try hard to present myself in a flattering light, but I feel sloppy and unkempt. I have no idea if this is real or in my head. I suppose it doesn't matter. I can only be as I am. But still, it gnaws at me.

>>33647726
You didn't ask, but I was once in your position. My first three years I did absolutely nothing. No friends, no partying, no socializing. I just went to class, studied, and went home. The entire time I told myself I was okay with it, that none of this really mattered in the grand scheme of things and that I'd be better off if I just focused on my studies.
I've been out of college for about 5 years now and I now am burdened by the thoughts of what could have been had I not taken myself so seriously and acted completely antisocially. Maybe I'm realizing that I could have partied and goofed off and ended up exactly where I am now regardless, but I also realize that I missed out completely on certain things almost everyone else my age has enjoyed and grew out of.
You don't need to go to parties but it really wouldn't hurt to try and find some groups or organizations to join and try and meet some people. You don't want to get older to find you wasted what would have been formative years of your life.

>>33647726
If you are graduating you done good kid. Don't ruin your life over tv narratives.

>>33645367
Your love doesn't fulfill me, baby. My love is fading. All this nothing from you really had me fooled.

>>33647847
I felt like you often, I can give you some tips if you like. Working out and a high protein diet helps you get a glow on your skin, a clean diet is very important. If you don't drink or smoke that's already a good step, sugar causes terrible skin, fasting helps the cleansing process. Your mind affects how you look at yourself as well, the healthier you get, the better mindset you will develop. If you have frizzy hair I advice to use a little bit of conditioner. Additionally you can use a scrubber to scrub off the old layer on your skin and apply retinol cream at night, moisturize in the morning, it doesn't need to be anything fancy, have a good night rest everything. I hope this helps.

>>33645367
I feel like real normal human beings experience teen love. They date in high school and do things like that. Because I didn't I'm not a person.

>>33648145
It's equally difficult dealing with that time being over once it's gone

I wish the doctor had told my mom I would be autistic. Maybe she would have aborted me then

I was in an Internet cult for 3 years and sometimes I still miss how much they made me hate myself

I've watched a few videos recently on toxic relationships, and I am now realizing just how much of a massive bitch my ex was
And I'm going through every single thing she ever did to me that was, as I understand now, unacceptable behavior, and realizing just WHY I was so fucking tired all the time. She was a time bomb that I had to disarm every single week for the past 3 years
There is such a massive rage building inside me right now. I'm literally shaking. I want to go to her house and urge her to kill herself, because she is a fucking animal. A disgusting, man-hating narcissist, who treats everyone around her like shit, and she's actually PROUD of it. God, she's so fucking smug...
I just... God damn it. I was such a wimp for taking this shit all this time. The moment I gained a single fucking shred of self worth, it just dawned upon me, how I was psychologically abused by her. All the shit that she claimed her ex did to her, that was unacceptable, she did to me. ALL OF IT. Like, WHAT THE FUCK. And I could see, but doubted myself, sometimes even believed I deserved it. Fucking hell, never again. NEVER.
I COULD FUCKING PUNCH HER RIGHT NOW. GOD DAMN IT A MONTH AGO I THOUGHT ABOUT KILLING MYSELF OVER THIS WHORE. JESUS CHRIST WHY DID I LET MYSELF BE WITH SUCH A HORRIBLE PERSON. ITS NO FUCKING WONDER THAT BITCH ALWAYS FELT ALONE IN HER LIFE. YOU'RE FUCKING UNBEARABLE, GOD DAMN IT, THAT WHY PEOPLE DON'T LIKE HAVING YOU AROUND. WHY THE FUCK DID I GIVE YOU SO MUCH LOVE AND ATTENTION, YOU UNDESERVING BITCH.

FUCK
GIVE ME MY TIME BACK
GIVE ME MY ENERGY BACK
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT I HATE YOU AND I HATE MYSELF FOR LOVING YOU

IM GOING TO DIE ALONE BECAUSE OF MY STUPID ONEITIS OVER A WOMAN WHO MIGHT NOT EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME
MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL PLEASE BE MINE PLEASE DONT FORGET ME PLEASE PLEASE LET OUR PATTHS CROSS AGAIN

>>33648670
BETTER TO BE ALONE THAN TO BE WITH A BITCH THAT DOESNT RECIPROCATE YOUR LOVE AND CARE FOR HER
FUCK THAT BITCH YOU NEED TO HIT THE GYM AND THREAT WOMEN LIKE THE PIECE OF DOG SHIT THAT THEY ARE
USE THEM AND THROW INTO THE FUCKING DUMPSTER THIS WHOLE GENERATION IS FUCKED

F
U
C
K
E
D

MEL, GO FUCK YOURSELF, YOU DONT DESERVE MY NIGGA ANON HERE
YOURE A FUCKING BITCH WHOS NOT EVEN WORTH THE AIR YOU BREATH

God Im so fucking mad right now, I apologize

>>33648703
ITS OKAY ANON LET IT ALK OUT
I LOVE ALL CAPS TOO!!!

MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL MEL
ME ME ME ME ME ME ME

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>>33645367
I wanna look at pussy but damn, seeing someone's face in porn instantly turns me off (why I hate porn sites and /gif/)

The redditors got one thing right, just this one thing. More solo videos with no face showing.

im pre-sabotaging myself but putting up these expectations of any new 'friend' i make matching up to what i had with you, which of course never happens, and leads to the 'friendship' fizzling out to nothing over and over again.
im so lonely and empty, nearly 21 with no irl friends, no real online friends, never experienced most things people years younger than me have, with no idea what i want to do in life, with the only thing i do know is that i want to not be lonely anymore, but after meeting you all i ever want now is you,
but you left me like nothing and now im unable to fill that emptiness, unless of course you ever decide to come back in my life.
ive started to wonder if you may have contacted me by now if the last messages we had, i had taken a different approach and showed more openness to you ever wanting to be friends again instead of showing anger and frustration at you cutting me out. i guess i had expected that you would have contacted me within days but now its been over 2 months and nothing, i realize this wasnt some episode or guilt trip, you really meant it when you wanted me out of your life and for good.
i dont know how to move on from this. i crave company like never before but i am only capable of accepting it if its you and you only.

I trust you overall else. That is our connection, how you do the same with me.

I’m so upset I fought with my friend and I can’t stand it
I can never just state my dogshit opinions without someone jumping on me, but I love my friend more than anyone
I just want to talk about shit without fear of conflict, I hate conflict, I hate it so much I want it gone. Why can’t anyone leave me alone and why am I always around everyone so eager for a fight. I just want it to end. I want peace so badly, I want it more than anything. I just want people I can be myself in. I don’t want to continue this madness. I just want some stability.

>Coworker comes back to my shift
>Immediately gets in my personal business again, trying to set me up on dates and whatever
>Calls up girl I've had a crush on, keeps pressuring her to go on a date with me
>Tell her to leave it be, she doesn't talk to me and has me blocked on facebook (I think)
>She keeps on pushing anyway
I'm not sure if I should do anything about this. I have nothing to do with it so I highly doubt anything could blow back on me, but on the other hand it's kind of amusing to see my coworker be so obnoxious and annoying to a chick who's turned me down.

>>33645367
I was strung and ditched by a damaged girl, and she's really done a number on me psychologically. It's not that I liked her more than others - I've dated girls I'd rather be with - but the manipulation, performative behaviour, the testing... I saw such a dark side to female psychology and I don't think I can trust again for a very long time. I don't wanna do to others what she did to me, but it's an easy way to get what I want and risk nothing. I hate what she did to me.

>>33645517
I no longer track, I just do one screenshot per media I watch which has the same effect.
(Unless you meant individual anime episodes)

>>33648647
Fucking hell dude, that's raw. Hits home for me and I only saw her for 2 months. Can't imagine 3 years with someone like that... Awful.

Recognise two things

1) You were treated badly. That's not your fault - it's hers
2) You learned your lesson. Yes, you let it happen (so did I), but you learned the importance of self-respect and ain't let it happen again

>>33648703
>FUCK THAT BITCH YOU NEED TO HIT THE GYM AND THREAT WOMEN LIKE THE PIECE OF DOG SHIT THAT THEY ARE
Don't do that. There's love in you, anon, just be discerning about who you give it to.

I ghosted my psychiatrist thinking I could just do everything myself but I completely fucked up what should have been my last semester in uni and now I don't know what to do. I want to hurt myself just to get away

She's actually kind of cringey with her neediness
Like she needs someone to stroke her ego even at the workplace
It's no wonder she's single at 26 years old

>>33647104
"Someone should be murdered for having open dialogue on college campuses"
Kill yourself, worthless faggot

>>33649782
Easy

Withold attention / validation and make her work for it, she'll get obsessed and suck you like there no tomorrow

>>33649576
What if she left you because she knows she was causing you pain?

it feels so prickly, when i long to be touched, i am so needy its torturing, i hate my submission

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I'm starting to become concerned about me only getting horny and getting off by jerking off with other people on discord. I want to do something with my life like become fit and meet women irl and have normal sex but instead end up jerking and cumming together with random anons on discord.

My honest true dream in my heart is to one day be free cruising around the country side on a bike feeling the wind against my face while not worrying about past, future or present and if possible with the love of my life i have't met yet.

feels like this dream is starting to be out of my grasp as long this is going on.

>>33649841
That's how we debate now
Message received

Something young niggas got a learn is when you're in the presence of a negative female influence that sucks all your energy and attention up is to put some distance between you and her and see if your mental health improves
If it does then that might mean she's toxic for you

>Go to Walmart to buy condoms
>They're always locked behind a case and you have to go get a worker
>There's a bell you can ring on the case to call a worker
Is this some kind of weird humiliation ritual?

>>33650105
you could see it as a mogging ritual instead you know
even more so if you're a nerd and you have your gf tag along with you

I remember playing in the back yard, and fighting with sticks. Building a fort in the living room out of couch cushions
Riding my bike behind my house, and when I crashed Eddie told me to get back up and keep riding
Watching Lord of the Rings with my family. We went to see them all in theaters
Dad making us milkshakes, he couldn't cook worth a shit but he made the best milkshakes
Trick or treating with my cousins. I was a vampire and we got two pillowcases full of candy each
My parents explaining that they were too poor to get a PS2, and then finding out that they got it anyway and surprised me on christmas
Back when Jenna still liked me. I thought she was "Out of my league" and then come to find out that she loved me and wanted to lose her "Vcard" to me, only for me to fuck it all up
Leaving window open that fall, and sitting on AOL all night chatting and watching anime
The second time I fucked Samantha. Hottest girl I was ever with. Something about that time was incredible. Unprotected, ravenous fucking. Dick felt twice as big as it really was that night, lasted forever for some reason. She told all her friends and I felt like a stud. I nutted inside and there was a pregnancy scare, looking back it would have been the best thing to ever happen to me
Driving around with Dylan. We took that truck in places it should have never been. He was so scared when I was drifting on ice in that parking lot
When Shelly sucked my dick. I had been talking to her all summer, she finally let me come over and we fucked all weekend. Biggest ass I ever got my hands on. Her puss tasted like coconut
Lauren hugged me and I felt her giant tits pressed against me. I was too stupid to realize that she was down to fuck that first time when she "Needed help moving". Glad I eventually got a taste, but if I had caught on sooner would we still be?
That time in Jamaica hanging out on the beach and eating meatpies

These memories were all experienced by me alone, and they'll fade with me

Have been trying to quit porn, but relapsed pretty bad this week.
Feel pretty bad about it.
Just have to try again.

>>33650252
I switched to only allowing myself to watch porn once a week and it's done wonders.

>>33650253
Yeah I was thinking of doing a "weening off" thing but I dunno, feels like I'll slip too easily.

>>33649863
Good point, honestly. She must have known what she was doing. Shed been abused as a kid and had a string of casual / toxic relationships since then. I felt a bit sorry for her desu - her perspective on relationships was is clearly fucked - but the fact is that I was used and discarded. I feel like I encountered something really dark and it's fucked me up. I have a newfound cynicism that I don't want and can't shake. She said all this shit to me about how great I was, how attractive I was, how good I was in bed but made no effort at all and then ditched me.

I've seen a couple of girls since her and decided to make 0 effort, ask no questions, withold affection, and give nothing so that I wouldn't get hurt. And guess what? It worked. It's like she's infected me with her toxic bullshit and now I'm borderline cooked. I'm avoiding dating for now because I know I'll just wanna pump and dump to feel good about myself.

>>33649929
Get a bike asap but NOT a litre bike, unless you wanna end up dead or disabled. Motorbikes are fucking amazing and you will not regret it

>>33650266
You could start by just doing it less in the beginning. I was kind of a rare case because I had this weird, sudden desire to stop. So I just did...
But if you start by just saying no more today. That could be a good place.
To be clear, I don't think watching some porn is bad for you. I do think watching it every day is bad though.
Ever since I switched to just allowing myself one day of porn/fapping, my life has improved in ways I didn't expect.

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>>33649841
>open dialogue
Fuck off you slavic red nose bitch, you know EXACTLY that he reap what he sow

If (You) ever get killed I'll protest

>You're poor evil
Powerless, pathetic, broke, miserable. You can make jokes about killing people because west christ cucks told you that would fix your small wrist problem, and I'll defend it as freedom of speech. You're a depressed sad slug that conviced himself that online weeb cruelty will make his incest thoughts dissapear, you're not special just another entitled gen z (or baldo that transmuted onto one) living with the anxiety that some notices your hardon whe looking at bluecheckmark loli trash

>He's rich evil
Reaped what he sow, you hate empathy? love guns and empower sickos to always have one? and you have the power to take action to make the world shitty?
I'd kill myself if instead of a gory show like south park's deaths, my blood is now worm's cum for nothing and my legacy is having rednecks "proud online aryans" in their smelly rooms crying to their online friend's validation lying to themselves from the shitty country they're supporting as you now know what will happen to your old fart dad whe he goes out to defend the shit you brainwash him because he's stupid weak man that ONE WRONG STEP and his pro gun blowers will get a deep bullet on his brain as deep your neighbor's cock is right now into your mother's cum soaked pussy

That's the only missed shot yesterday, should have been he head

>>33650312
Disappearing completely will just cause her to move on with someone who is present.

>>33650326
I just went full cold turkey. Porn is really bad to have in life.

Freak

I fucked up again. damn It.

>>33650341
What do you mean? I'm not seeing anyone atm - the crazy girl ended it with me and I already ended it with the girls I saw since. I'm taking a break from dating so I don't fuck myself up more / hurt anyone else

>>33650412
I was just commenting on using withdrawal and manipulation to ignore a girl completely so that she chases you. It's common advice by people who actually have no experience with girls. There is a push-pull dynamic obviously but withdrawing completely causes her to be involved with other people who are in around. The truth is is that if you choose her then you will continually make yourself present for her and she will do the same for you, unless she has some kind of issue and needs time.

>>33650455
I forget such moves to not dwell on it and so I can relive it again

i could really need a deep hug rn

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>>33650507

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>>33650538
:D

holy shit can people stop saying "he/she was someone's father/husband/uncle/daughter/blahblahblah" no fucking shit they were a daughter you can't be born without parents. Being a child of someone isn't special if everyone is retard

>>33650507
*hugs

>>33650563
>>33650547
>>33650538
*.*

i am currently going through a depressive episode. my relationship seems perfect but in my head it's always rocky. i was told from day one that they didn't want someone dependent on them and that's what ive been trying to do. i don't know if im too much or too little. we almost broke up at one point due to me going fully cold and nonchalant because i was tired of crying and feeling bad. i love my boyfriend. i love their cuddles and their hugs and their kisses. they make me feel safe and loved. but i don't wanna be a cringey crybaby and be clingy which makes me filter myself a lot. hell i can't even say i love you first or show that i miss them because im scared that will be seen as me being too dependent. i recently messed up because i left and told them i wanted to be alone and that i didn't wanna see them again this week because i was feeling very pathetic and they got very sad from the way i replied with a "rude" tone and how i was literally pushing them away as they told me they didn't want me to go. feeling weak and vulnerable makes me very sad and scared but i also don't wanna filter myself so much anymore. i only realised this today. i put on a strong persona for them because i am scared that they will see the pathetic little cry baby i know i am but i Wish i could just be myself and could say stuff like "hey! miss you." or "hey! this made me think of you!" without immediately going "i should delete that because then they'll think im a codependent piece of shit that doesn't want them away from me ever they should just live with me already 24/7" and it's not even my fault at the end of the day which hurts most because they probably didn't mean for it to go this way but i guess It Just happened because im a moron.

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>>33650581
hey pretty lady how about you get with a real man

LIVE BY LE SWORVD DIE BY LE SWORVD

why is my post here on leddit

I'm a single dad taking care of two young kids, and I'm fucking married. My wife only ever comes out to care for our kids if she halfway feels like it or I need to go out for something, then the second I come back she immediately retreats into our room to watch K-dramas and not do anything unless she needs to step out for a smoke. It's utterly nightmarish how completely overwhelmed I am because I'm also expected to do the dishes, make lunches and dinners (including her coffee, which she "needs to function"), do the laundry and keep the living room tidy. I am so burnt out our living spaces are getting filthier by the day, and now that I've lost my job I am in an even deeper pit because I have to find time to apply for jobs between caring for the kids and caring for my womanchild of a wife. Worst part is she knows how much I'm struggling and she tells me I need to take care of my own mental health, but every time I try and ask her to pull her weight (which has been growing by the day)? A sheepish and guilty but firm "no". And things are just getting more and more stressful - I'm now tasked with getting our three year old potty trained, which means more messes and piss everywhere, and all I get from her is a very shitty, basic "you can do this". Fuck, I'm so fucking miserable.

>>33650581
Tell your partner all of this

If they care about you, which presumably they do, it will bring you so much closer together

You're not on your own

>>33650711
Stop doing things for your lazy ass wife if she doesn't reciprocate. I can't imagine how you feel because this sounds truly horrific, but please don't make things worse for yourself or enable such an entitled slob who makes life more difficult than it already is. Shocking. Sorry anon

I forgot what it was.

i hate newfags and poltards

I give you exact instructions on how to get rich but you don’t simply do exactly what I say. You are retarded. I can make you rich. You do not see that I have already hepled you because you do not do basic math you have known since the age of seven.

>>33650768
i already did it. several times actually. recently they got obsessed over this video game and i told them to please consider me a bit more cause we were literally sharing 3 sentences the day before and it lasted one day before it went back to normal. i don't think i am that much of a burden to take 10 mins off that fucking game to ask me how i am and what ive been doing. they've been playing ever when im over so i Just sit there and scroll tiktok as if i was at my own house; they're gonna start studying again soon and honestly i Hope that uni will take away the obsession with these stupid things and remind them that i am, supposedly, the one they wanna share a future with. at this point im unsure if that's even true which is making me sad again. i miss when I was cold and distant and did not care about them at all. at least then i was only numb and wouldn't feel stupidly sad over stuff like this.

>>33650797
lol this sounds like what a good irl friend of mine would think but not say

God, I feel like such a fucking loser.

>>33650594
we're both trannies whoops. no real men in sight in this story!

>>33650813
I don't know who you are, but I'll go on a limb and make a guess: you a narcissist, possibly one that doesn't even realize he is a narcissist. You probably posted that after you scored, cucked someone, or something along those lines.

Don't answer, but know this: if I am right, we are not so different, but unlike you I am very well aware I am a narcissist.

I don't think I'm depressed or suicidal, but I'm not doing great mentally/emotionally, I'm not sure why, I'm not sure how to make it stop, and every option seems like either the worst possible one or an impossible one. And I don't see any way of it getting better. How am I even supposed to handle this? It's like floating in a shipwreck and there's not even a chunk of wood to grab onto. Just waiting to drown or be eaten by sharks

Namefags, especially that autistic retard scum, kill yourselves immediately. You are attention seeking on an anonymous board. You are all pathetic. You are a burden to your parents because of how useless you are. Your "problems" are all solved by going outside and touching grass, but you are all too retarded to do that. Kill yourselves immediately.

Can a LDR between 28M and 20F work? They love each other.

i would make at least someone scream.

please go to the doctor and get treatment if you feel so bad, get this damn treatment from the fucking BRAIN doctor

if you have some serious problem, then don't fuck other people's brains. otherwise commit seppuku, harikiri, so you will become a hero for others, and get your dose of attention

>>33645517
>the illusion of progress stealing actual progress from my grasp?
Life has no meaning, its just is

I'm not ready to coddle everyone, because I'm not your personal nanny or your therapist to listen to your shit, and I don't care about your life, I hate people who constantly talk about their interests and interrupt others, I don't like listening to all this nonsense, I also don't like lame toilet humor. I don't find anything funny in the shit you talk. I hate you when you're happy about something, when you're angry, when you're depressed, I don't give a damn about you at all and I want you to disappear from my life as soon as possible, creature, I would like to fuck your brains out after everything you did to me, but I feel sorry for you. KYS, everyone!

i don't care what you think about yourself, i don't care about you. you are indifferent to me, i've always cared about you. i would like one thing. your attention to me again. i miss your attention so much! i especially love your psychos and hysterics.

i care about you so much that i don't give a damn about you! there's only one thing i love - seeing you freak out because you don't have enough of my attention. you're so disgusting to me. you make me feel nothing but pure hatred. LOATHE

One way road baby

>>33651035
How old are you if I may ask?

>>33645367
I hate that I keep thinking of you; I'm sure you rarely, if ever, think of me.

>>33646618
I remembered more details just now. Super blurry memory. We've talked about zone (animator) and how he thought id be good at animating porn. Also brought up douching when it came to anal (hypothetically/imagined). And either i came across his smut fanfics or he sent them to me. Wasnt light at all pretty sure it was anal knifeplay too

>>33650968
Yes, the issue however is the LDR part

My uncle robbie killed himself today so I'm buying expensive lottery tickets and a couple of pints in his honor, rest in peace you lame fuck. I love you. Thanks for always thinking of me around Christmas time even if all you did was get me $20 GameStop gift cards as a kid. It still means something. You weren't nothing man.

>>33651059
HMMMMM?

>>33651067
Honestly wish i werent conscious right now

if, as a white man, trying to date a white girl were likened to a form of baseball, it'd be hardball

and dating brown girls would be t-ball, with all the shame of an adult playing t-ball

i refuse to father children that don't look like me

but brown girls are a frequent momentary temptation

What's with basic white girls and hair extensions? Every hot dumb girl I know is obsessive about her extensions, but they make no discernible difference in how they look.

>if I don't go to sleep, tomorrow will not come as fast
>only get like 3 hours of sleep and tomorrow is closer than ever and worse than before
wtf is wrong with my brain lol

i get to hang out w my dad later today again
life is good

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>>33645367
>Have ADHD and autism
>Can't focus properly and am socially inept
>People think I'm being a cunt
>I try everyday to seem nicer but people still think I'm a cunt and also think I'm stupid because ADHD causes me to forget things easy

Planning on getting Ritalin to cope soon. Has anyone here taking it? If so what was the before and after like?

>>33651157
Say my friend (and your former colleague) hi for me if it's you, love.

>>33651370
I'll pass it on, but don't call me that again

>>33650968
Maybe if theyre both communicative, honest, realistic and have long term goals about whom is going to move to who's state

>>33651435
My bad, I meant to say colleagues (plural). If it's really you I have to ask you if you hate me because I negatively talked about you behind your back, or because how I cut you off before I reached out again.

i miss you
i miss being your friend. i miss talking to you daily. i miss how you made my day brighter, meeting you in person was really fun and i enjoyed it a lot. i have dreams about you. i have dreams that you message me, add me on steam, i have dreams of us cuddling.

but i dont deserve you. at first i didnt want to be with you because of superficial reasons. looking back, i hate myself for it. i feel so disgusted with myself. you found a boyfriend who saw you and immediately knew you were the one. and now you're with him. my heart shattered into a million pieces because i started to realize you were the one. but i was too late. i hope you enjoy the rest of your life with him

i wish i couldve been that man. i always talked to you about what makes a man, but it looks like i never lived up to my own definition. i need work. i'm sorry. i wish i could reverse time and just slap the shit out of myself before i left that train

>>33651611
stop trying to pose as a dude, it's not working lol

>>33647046
It is just more over than it was before, silly.

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It's amazing to think that the future is going to be ruled by these two girls. Together, we are an idiot.

>>33650812
Maybe we are friends.

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>>33652018
Like, they are going to rule an empire that spreads across the galaxy and even the universe itself. Tatiana and Birdy will be the worlds most feared and revered names to ever exist.

You guys think this Charlie Kirk thing is going to have dire ramifications?

>>33652028
Incremental ramifications to increase security till free speech is too inconvenient and cause unnecessary hate in uncalled for directions.

>>33652056
Isn't that the direction we were headed regardless, though?

>>33652028
Fifty fifty spread. People cheering a CEO's death was kind of disturbing but he was doing something abhorrent, but this assassination is celebrated because the blue team hate red team.

>>33652117
Is it being celebrated? I feel like everyone's shitting their pants. If anything, the blue team is terrified of what the retribution will look like.

.

>>33652013
In my case with her, it is more not over than it has been in a long time.

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went by the house one last time today after work to try to get some closure. canceled the trash pickup that i forgot about it. bought my first pack of cigs in over a year. cried a lot seeing everything empty. i hope i can get through this, i finally found something that feels worse than what happened as kid. i just want to be able to hold you again and hear you tell me everything will be ok. i wish it wasn't like this.

Why do I keep only meeting men I like that are already in relationships, FUCK. Its so tiring. Found out the guy I was interested in for while is engaged, so now I'm constantly confused and conflicted since we're sorta friends now and in the same social circle, and I can't tell if certain things he says/does are subtle flirting or I'm just paranoid about the whole thing now and I don't want to be weird to him. And if he IS trying to flirt with me there's the reality of how fucked up that is and not something I should entertain.
Just met another guy recently who I thought was hot, enjoyed talking to, and nearly hooked up with. He has a girlfriend and is in a seemingly open relationship. That would have been fine for a hookup, but we have still been chatting since and now I'm just mad and confused AGAIN because I like him but know he can't be a legitimate option as a real partner so I worry about catching further feelings and wasting my emotions on pointless shit.
I feel fucking cursed

Somehow seeing charlie kirk bleed out made me incredibly angry. Not at the shooter, but at the people who enabled the shooting to happen just like they enable every shooting. I have been seething ever since it happened.

I know this is pathetic, but a couple weeks ago I was extremely nervous and miserable because of a situation, the thing is, nothing at the end happened, the problem is that a couple weeks later I noticed a street near me that I clearly remember having white walls changing to a yellow tile pattern and I noticed one of my skin moles changing out of place, and then I started thinking "what if the thing I was nervous about actually happened, I killed myself and I left my elderly father alone and got changed into another timeline where nothing happened", sounds fucking retarded but this has been making me feel terrible for a week straight

Any advice? I fucking hate thought experiments

Went to the bridge we used to spend our evenings at. The graffiti you left behind is still there, pristine as the day it was done. I saw the clear night sky, the milky way visible and it's no wonder we fell in love out there. I wish we could go back to those days.

>>33652231
Check the front page of Reddit people are cheering the death, making memes about him dying, posting hot takes by instagram liberals, etc.

It's pretty bad. It's kind of what I imagined a civil war would look like on the internet - literally people cheering for deaths of people like those people were anime characters

>>33652530
They're mentally ill people

>>33651097
Respect dude. May his soul rest in peace. Sorry for your loss as he seems like he is a very chill dude.

>>33652530
To be fair I see that treatment given towards dead trans people who've killed themselves from bullying and harassment. Eye for eye or something

>>33652719
>Eye for eye
kike

>>33652745
Treat people the way you want to be treated. If you act like an asshole, don't be surprised if people cheer when you finally get your comeuppance. Pretty simple stuff.

>>33652761
yea we get it. speech is violence, except when some marxist libshit does it. don't be surprised by what comes next.

>>33652794
oh no. the horror. very scared right now. someone killed him and that's that I guess. wasn't me. the world will keep spinning

I fucked up by not brushing my teeth for years and now my teeth have a bunch of cavities
Depression sucks

>>33652719
>>33652761
Eh, there's a difference between suicide(even aggravated suicide) and just outright killing people you disagree with. A lot of people seem pretty fucking down for vigilante killings of "people who offend me" and we've seen in the past year an escalation in terms of targets. First a Healthcare CEO everyone hated, but now it's just your bog standard 2A defender who was exercising his 1A rights. It bodes poorly for America if you believe in that Bill of Rights thing

>>33652875
Does Brianna ghey ring a bell? and all the countless other trans people being murdered or assaulted all over the world?

>>33652880
And I'm not "down" for assassinating people like kirk (unless the person were verifiably abusive scum MAYBE?) but knowing the stuff he promoted kind of prevented me from feeling bad for him. If he wouldnt extend empathy for me or others not like him, why should i waste my time doing the same.

>>33652880
So Ghey dies in a knife attack and the reprisal is against the gun guy? Not really adding up here

I actually hate being depressed

>>33652890
My point is that right wingers do the same things they condemn. Shaking their heads at people hating kirk like they eouldnt leave troonjak pictures at the site a trans girl took her life. I feel numb to all this politics crap right now so its just another week at this point. Fucked up that Im even saying this about rampant gun violence but that just comes with muh gun rights or whatever

>>33652919
The difference is that those celebrating the murder of Kirk and the fags from the Sharty who did that shit is institutional backing. Reddit's pushing all the edgy memes to the forefront. The troonjak stuff got deleted instantly, even here, and was the work of, like, one guy. And surely you can see the difference between mocking the deceased and actively causing someone to BECOME deceased by shooting them through the skull with a gun.

But we'll talk in circles I'm sure. Point is, prognosis for this cold culture war ain't good.

>>33648647
My hatred has consumed my brain to such a point, that I didnt notice a speed bump while riding, and fell
Now my bike's handlebar is crooked and I've no idea how much it will cost
And all the while all I could think of was my hatred. My friend was worried about me, and all I could do is cry tears of rage. He is now quite worried, and I'm even more angry because I made someone worry about my bullshit
This is the first time in my entire life that I have felt such a feeling. I spend the entire time riding my way home, fantasizing about screaming at her. Choking her to death if she came near me.
I don't like this. I never understood hatred. Could never quite grasp it. Now it's all I can feel. I can legit understand now how a person can kill someone in this state. I never thought I would feel like this. I hate this.

I want this to be over.

>>33649583
I can't unflip this switch. I had my therapy session today and my therapist said that it was good that I was feeling hate. That if I didn't hurt anyone, I should feel it all up to it's core. But this feels wrong. It feels bad. I don't want to feel like this anymore.

>>33649593
I think the love in me died out. I don't think I can give it anymore. I don't think I can feel it anymore.
I gave so much and got so little. I don't want to go through this anymore. I don't think I have it in me to try again.
All I want is this suffering to end. I'm done. I'm done with people. All I have are my friends, and that's it. I don't want to love ever again.

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To my crush: I'mma give you a real man just you wait.

When the time comes for you to realize what you lost by leaving me will I still be willing to take you back?

>>33653053
No, you were quite happy to watch me leave the first time

>>33653055
>implying I didn't throw my shame away and beg her to stay
nice try, faggot

i have proven time and time the ability to beat near impossible odds. and im continuing to do so.

two years ago, i was an inch away from plunging 17 floors to my death.

now i earn 6 figures, fixed my wary skin with tretinoin, have a reputation at my current workplace for being a funny guy and got decently fit. i turned on the selfie cam on my phone before taking a shower and looked at myself, and i looked at what could only be described as a male model. wow.

ive come a long way. but its still a long way down. not even close to the end. im going to get bond composites next, since my teeth are all grounded down from clenching and erosion. also my teeth used to be real real fucked up, now they're pretty good barring them being barred down.

>>33653177
then u roke up

>>33653200
suck my balls dude

>>33653177
Ty for hopefuel

>>33652811
martyring Christians never works the way your ilk wants

I fixed her, a little

I hate my disgusting skin condition and I'm tired of having to look at it. 20 fucking years I've had this and I will have it for the rest of my life. For essentially my entire life I will have to live with this and look at it every single day. Why the fuck did I have to get this and right before puberty too.

Admin at work is running scared. It just came out we've been losing money fast over the last few years, and now we're way in debt. Bad enough a lot of admin is getting forced to resign and take their golden parachutes, but it's probably going to trickle down to the departments too.

I've had a good spot on the graveyard shift for the last few years. A couple of dayshifters are leaving and we're in a hiring freeze, so I'm worried they're going to try and pull me to days. It'll be far more work for less pay. I don't know if or when it's coming, but I'm in a frenzy looking for other places to go, partially to protect myself and partially to leave this place a ghost town since everyone's abandoning the sinking ship.

I am a little disappointed though, I've made a lot of good relationships here and I know the truth of it will be that most of us will drift apart.

Can't sleep. I was so tired and now I have a sudden burst of energy. And my sleep schedule was going so well. Fuck.

i didnt deserve that

I want to say I don't know why I'm so caught up on her but she was my first female friend and gf and it lasted almost 5 yrs. Tbh I hated women before her. I wish this feeling would go away. She could fuck 10 guys in front of me and I'd still love her, I'm so fucking cooked. I'm stuck between wishing I had never met her and just wishing she'd come back. It's over.

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Holy fuck. Holy fucking shit.

>mfw after my ex casually reminds me of just how much power she actually has over me by calling me a good boy for the first time in months

Struggled with my conscience yesterday and felt like I needed reassurance. After facing it I once more don’t feel so much like I need anyone to feel alright.

I'M SO FUCKING MAD

FUCKING YEARS SPENT SEEING FUCKING DELUSIONS
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE POINT OF IT ALL

MUH OCD

WHY THE FUCK??
AM I SUCH A BITCH AS TO HAVE A DISEASE OF THOUGHT

SO MUCH MONEY SPENT ON COLLEGE JUST TO HAVE THIS STUPID FUCKING BRAINWORM REAPPEAR
AFTER SPENDING SO MUCH TIME GETTING AWAY FROM THE SHITHOLE THAT CAUSED IT
IT MADE ME ACT FUCKING WEIRD
IT MADE PEOPLE HATE ME
IT MADE ME FUCKING PARANOID
IT MADE ME LITERALLY SIT THERE ON A BALCONY, LISTENING TO ANOTHER VOICE IN MY HEAD TELL ME TO JUMP

DO YOU KNOW HOW FUCKING STUPID THIS IS, TO LISTEN TO YOUR OWN BRAIN TELLING YOU TO FUCKING JUMP AND THE BEST TREATMENT IS TO SIT THERE AND WEATHER IT

FUCK YOU, NOTHING ABOUT THIS MAKES SENSE

I WANT TO BE ABLE TO JUST, FUCKING GO FOR A RUN AND FEEL GOOD, FUCK IT ALL TO HELL.

I AM NOT GOING TO DELETE THIS, I AM NOT GOING TO REPEAT EDIT IT OVER AND OVER INF ACT FUCK YOU HAVE SPELLING ERRORS FUCK OCD KILL OCD BEHEAD OCD BABYES I GOT THE COPYPASTA WRONG BUT I'M NOT EVEN GONNA GOOGLE IT FUCK YOU OCD OH WAIT I'M OVEREXPLAINING AGAIN I GUESS THATS FUCKING OCD FUCK

CAN'T EVEN FUCKING SHITPOST

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>>33645367
I need help I cant sleep because I'm wired and I'm starting to see slight hallucinations but it kinda feels really really good. Do you guys know what's going on and should I go to the hospital?

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>Impromptu two weeks no porn/no fap.
>Feeling pretty good, no real sexual thoughts.
>Extremely brief and tame sex related dream last night.
>Been up since 4 AM thinking of lewds.
The human mind, man. To be fair it's not like I wanted to turn into a puritan, my issue has never been the frequency so much as the duration and amount of crap I'd rapidly go through. You cannot outlaw sin completely, you might as well try to shape water into a ball. Rest assured when I get back tonight Miuka from Bunny Garden will experience 30 minutes of joy, and then? Chilling to documentaries on Hengist & Horsa, like any self-respecting bachelor would.

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>>33645517
YES I EAT 5 LEMONS LIKE ORANGES. IT IS LIKE WINE IT IS NO MATTER HOW BAD SOME WINES TASTE SOMEBODY WILL LOVE IT. SOME PEOPLE LIKE FOOD THAT I CAN NOT STAND. IT IS ALL UP TO THE PERSON WHO IS HAVING IT. WE ARE NOT ALL THE SAME, THAT IS GOOD. THAT'S WHAT MAKES US ALL DIFFER FROM EACH OTHER. TAKE CARE LOVE ONE ANOTHER. ALWAYS SAY SOMETHING NICE ABOUT EACH OTHER. GOD BLESS.

I have potential but I'm lazy and I will never accomplish much.
Is it okay to keep a job but live the hiki life? I just want to sleep, idle, watch anime and play vidya once in a while, preferrably from bed.

>guy fuckzoned me a couple years ago, never took me on a proper date
>move on because wanted something more serious
>get a bf and cut contact
>over a year later he messages me "I miss you" on my birthday, didn't see because it went to spam
>a month later he tries to add me on discord
>one mutual friend: a woman I added from /soc/
what a manslut. I'm just glad I saw the fq before my bf did, I keep my discord on the living room tv and I don't need the drama right now

I'm out of debt :)

Break the cycle
Break the chains

It's amazing to think that there is a girl out there that was MADE literally FOR ME. Like, as a perfect match. The way she looks, the way she acts, her intelligence, her talent, her art. All of it was made specifically for me to fall in love with. And to think that I was made specifically for her. Just to little lesbians falling in love with each other and we haven't even met yet. To know we will forever be young and forever be for each other. It's an amazing feeling.

People really expect you to forget the cringe ass shit they do when they betray your trust
Like I just saw you flirting with and trying to get another niggas number wtf
You expect me to bring the same vibe after?

>>33654359
Probably

She really just ran away lmfao
Didn't try to deal with her bullshit or the chaos she helped cause
Just ran the fuck away like a child

>>33654362
Confront her?

The fact I am a good 7 years behind my peers because of NEETdom makes me SEETHE to no end because that is entirely my fault.

The fact I have Asperger's makes me absolutely DESPISE my parents for not having pulled out or swallowed. Curse this existence. For me, the game was rigged before it even fucking started.

Lately I have been noticing how angry and less tolerant I am, I dont like it... which creates a loop since now I feel angry at being angry, its so stupid kek I just want to stop caring for what people do or say, but I cannot help but be annoyed at every single little thing, a few of my female friends call me controlling... which I guess is not a lie, but pisses me off... I dunno whats happening to me, I just want to be less angry all the time

Where am I supposed to meet people once I finish my degree?

>>33654395
Take shrooms or smoke weed on the weekends

Fight the future.

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woke up in a hard sweat after a dream about you. you had come back and i was just cheesing the whole time, then i woke up. i want this to be my last ever post on this hellscape. i want to say i'll leave forever but we all know. 13 yrs here, it's over. at most i will post my discord on soc every once in a while, and just not leave the discord threads to fill that need. this site and honestly the internet in general doesn't do much for me anymore except make me linger on old shit and retain bad habits. thank you for helping me fix my appearance, confidence and pushing me to go outside. i don't know if all those women who were showing me interest the last year and a half did it because they knew i had a gf or if i am actually any good but it felt nice.

the aa meetings have been good and i've actually heard a few things that have been helping each day. technically it was the day before but i'm going to lie and say my first day truly sober was our anniversary day, you made it up anyway. i managed to revisit the place and everything and went to bed sober that night. everything will be easier after this. i'm going to stop beating this dead horse now, i need to get past it and over you like you have clearly done me. thank you for reading my blogs anons, i just don't feel like venting a lot of this in person yet but it probably would have saved me a lot headache if i did. bad habits. i wish all of you the best and hope you can also get out of whatever slumps you are in. i had heaven in my hands and it's gone but i'll grab it again someday. so will you.

This world is crazy

Ai stalker

I'm shallow I can't commit! I haven't gotten it all out of me! There is still some fucking to do!

Fail

I'm just lonely high and horny no way this is a good time for this

should i kms?

>>33652028
/pol/ is losing its shit because this helps the jews indirectly

>>33652530
Well to be fair he isn't very photogenic so he deserves to die and be mocked in a lot of people's opinions

>>33653053
What the fuck was lost? You had nothing to offer when I was begging at your doorstep and you still have nothing 5 years later. All you had was a made up lil scenario in which I stayed put at your heels while you ignored me and acted like you were a god. Bro you can't look a woman in the eyes and speak earnestly if it'd quite literally save your life. You live in a fucking dazed daydream. You're such a whiny asshole filled with COPE and you know it.

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>>33654541

>>33654750
I’ve been thinking about joining a monastery before I follow thru with it. Something to consider.

I hate my job. The girls on my team are mean to me and absolutely hate my guts (as confirmed in their group chat). They harshly and publicly criticize every mistake I make, thus making me looking like an incompetent idiot who doesn't know what he's doing. When in reality it's the opposite, and even the manager says my work is the best quality. I'm pretty sure they're either trying to get me fired or quit.

Either way I doubt there's any chance of me getting along with those girls. They're normie stacies. They already wrote me off as a weird, nerdy loner who grew up with a dysfunctional family. I tried reading Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People," but still can't make a single friend or even meet half way to getting along with anyone at work.

Unfortunately, I can't go to job interviews atm, because my car keeps failing state inspection due to a check engine light that keeps coming back on. What sucks is that I'm not entirely sure other places will match what I get paid at my current job.

>>33654850
Okay

>>33655030
Wanna play Xbox?

in my early teens I had some really weird trauma that caused me to completely shut off all romantic/sexual feelings. For years now I didn't think anything of it and I just lived my life, and never really cared abt it. But just recently this girl who's been my closest friend for years (we've done everything together) said she's into me. I agreed to a relationship because I didn't want to lose her. I really enjoy her company and we get along so well, but I feel absolutely nothing romantic towards her, no attraction whatsoever. atp I keep hoping that there's some feelings or something inside me that I just need to find, but it sucks so bad bc I just feel... numb. I'm just trying to cope with the idea of life without her, since a one-sided relationship would obviously never work. I wish we could go back to how it was, man. I was so happy

>>33653200
Based

>>33646824
Agree, bridy is a very cutesy girl
Her name matches perfectly

>>33655114
I only have a pc and am selling it, but would be open to playing in a few months if you play the same games I like and are roughly at the same level I am or okay with the skill gap. Probably Marvel Rivals I would play with you. It is cross-console.

>>33655149
>Marvel Rivals I would play with you
I’m down to try it out. I pick up on most games relatively quick.

>>33655169
It's fun and simple if you pick simple characters. I just leans towards it for multiplayer cause the matches are like 5-10 minutes, the respawns are fast, and match queue is fast. It's also free. It's just very convenient to get together with friends. I dream of playing paradox games with people regularly one day but it is too much of a time commitment. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

I've been noticing a certain neighbor gangstalking me, lately. She will be behind me in traffic and switch lanes to follow me. I just saw her at the same store as me today (parking as I left), and when I came home and took my groceries out of the car she pulled up at the same time and honked her horn wildly like 5 times in a row. I just gave her the biggest frown I could muster and walked inside.

It feels good knowing we are going to move forward together again.

I fell off a staircase on Monday and my entire body still hurts like hell. I don't wanna bother going to the hospital though, they'll just waste my entire day waiting for a single scan and send me home with ibuprofen

>>33654985
Damn im sorry anon I feel you. Normies suck

Maybe my self destructive habit is being too jokey at work.
I gotta be a tight ass 100% until I get off of work and then I can joke.

I know even if my project succeeds it won't get me friends, but its hope and a nigga gotta have some hope

>>33655679
whats the project

>>33652028
Yes, smoothskins are losing the war.

>>33655125
Would really love some help with this, its feeling pretty bleak rn

4chan isnt enough i need to starve or go out in an alley late at night or kill myself

>>33655923
you two sound close enough that you should be able to be open to her about these feelings of yours

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i went on holiday with my best friend and i ended up crossing boundaries with her uncle. i never expected him to and it all went unsaid but his touching escalated and i definitely allowed it.

It still hurts but it's definitely not as bad as it was. Took 2 months to get there. Still get sudden pangs of anxiety and higher heart rate when little things remind me of her but it subsides and doesn't turn into a meltdown anymore
I guess this is getting over it, a bit longer and it will be even less

>>33655948
Faste 16-20 hours a day

U move like a complete bitch. Instead of lurking in my phone trying to rage bait me every day with the autofill for years on end why don’t u just confront me with your issue? Because you’re a bitch, desperate to manipulate people into believing u have a “reason”.

Lotta content came out recently. Crazy world.

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Oh ok

I needed you. I trusted you. Why did you do this to me? I asked you for help and you didn't help me. I want you dead. I qant you fucking dead. I hate you. I hate you so fucking much it's unreal.

i talk less and less. i have this weird apathy with the thought of speaking more in detail to people. i am secretive about stupidly simple things for seemingly no rational reason. perhaps it is a motivational deficit. i feel my friends and family despise me due to this. which Is another layer of feeling disliked or misunderstood. it should be my best years. but every year is worse. realistically i will start going paranoid again and this is just some low chem phase. i feel super weird posting this too. like people notice me in some fucked up way. i need to rationally fight these fears, but there is always this aftertaste. "what you said was cringe", " haha look at this fucking loser posting this shit". like have i gone insane or am i typical socially anxious person.

I feel like I'm going in circles. Good thing my predictment will be over soon, and then I'll start from a new environment.

>>33656154
Predicament

>>33656154
>>33656156
Lucky

A person who was neglected when they were young and had to raise themselves will grow into an adult who feels the need to do everything by themselves

with penis transplants now successful it's only a matter of time before there's a billionaire black market hunting young well endowed men to steal their dick and balls

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I'm gonna try crossdressing in an Astoflo cosplay for the first time. I'm getting a boner thinking about it. I've always liked cute things and not afraid about wearing feminine clothes in public but it was never sexual. This is getting me really excited. I don't know why

>>33656355
Also my cosplay will be private not public FYI

>>33656156
Thanks.

>>33656166
Not really. Life is terrible but I'm managing "okay".

my mental illness has ruined my chances of ever developing a successful romantic let alone sexual relationship with a man whilst my physical form has ruined my chances of ever doing so with a woman. its like i was born to be alone. its manageable now but i worry how things will play out in decade from now.

Don't live for revenge.
It will leave you angry and toxic on the inside.
It's better to move on and live for yourself

>>33655533
Go to a quickmed urgentcare type place it'll be a fee up front and that's it

Perfect angel comes into my life at the wrong time. I don't really fuck I'm lazy and don't care a lot of the time but I want to keep myself open for more sex with different women I still haven't gotten it out of my system!

I wish I wasn't like this I'm deathly scared of stds too. the better route would just be to settle down with one girl.

>>33656372
Wise words. If you are the man I'm thinking of, it sounds like you mellowed out. It's a good thing, last time we interacted you seemed to be full of anger. Peace.

>>33656372
It can feel weak but it's the right thing to do. I'm got in a dispute with my neighbor recently cause he's a crazy envious dipshit asshole objectively speaking. He now seems kinda afraid of me but I still feel like I should leave and just get away from his toxicity because he isn't going to leave. I can't believe what rotten luck this is though. Life could be so nice.

I ended close friendships because I was frightened of being too emotionally attached to them. And I get frozen with anxiety and fear at the thought of romance, worse if a man actually shows interest.

I’d like someone who really likes me.

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE SO NICE
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE FRIENDLY TO ME
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO YOUR BROWN HAIR CUT IN THAT CUTE LITTLE BOB
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE SKINNY
WHY DID YOU HAVE TO BE JUST MY TYPE
I WANT YOU

Why can't a girl with a fat ass and wide hips look deep inside me and love me for who I really am?

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Sometimes I talk to myself out loud, why I don't know. I will loudly exclaim things that need not be speken because it's not like I'm talking to anyone. I realize that's just weird and also really fucking cringe. Why do I do this?

>>33656564
its only cringe if u get caught

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>>33656564
All I know is I'm glad I have the self awareness to see how weird and also gay it is.
>>33656567
That's the thing, I live with 2 other people. This isn't something I used to do, althogh I used to do things like mimick the things a character would say in a videogame and such. My sister walked by (not the first time). I never really think much of it, but I thought about it for a moment and just realized it's bizzare. It's some kind of performative thing, maybe habitual. It actually perplexes me and the faggotry of it is tangible. Wtf.

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>>33656575
Huh. I don't know why this is weird to me. Maybe I've habitually gotten used to almost being performative, offloading my mindand not being still, living practically in vain, and now I'm seeing it. That is what it feels like.

I'm paranoid because I know their secret
It's affecting my work
I need to tell the truth

>>33656593
What truth?

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>>33656584
Maybe too much time spent on the inhuman artifice that is the internet plays a part. I have no irl friends so this kind of Hellhole tends to be my outlet. Actually quite sad. I'm realizing that till now I'd lost a sense of even the social and human value of human interaction in the midst of the almost intrinsically, but increasingly literally inhuman robot infested nature of the internet. Maybe I always knew it but it's just dawning on me now for some reason.... I wonder if I dissociated??? Anyone have any thoughts?

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>>33656608
In fact it's further dawning on me upon reflection after having been locked out of my xhitter account, how it too can hook you in like a battery, and in the endless contant stream you become fully at the mercy of it. You lose your inner stillness. I've known something like this, but till now I never *knew*. It's quite amazing how this can happen. It's like all of this was so obvious and always there and an infinite sea of truth and I wasn't alive to it. Fuckin strange.

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I guess hereforth I will try to maintain an inner conversation with myself, and look inwards instead of outwards.

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Definitely a real habitual problem. I think it might be something I can slip into naturally and not even see it happen. How scarily easy it is to be played like a fiddle.

It's a scary and crazy thought, but I'm not realizing the internet may be a technology to empty human beings so that you can be filled by it like a golem. Golem factory. Fucking scary shit. Please watch your hearts Anon's.

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I feel like I haven't done enough, created enough, or travelled enough in this life before I die. How do slackers and underachieving people live like this?

>>33656664
it helps if you arent a narcissist

>>33656522
Because they are over 30 and not your type.

>>33656593
The truth will set you free.

>>33656672
So being high achieving is narcissistic?

>>33656678
thats what i implied wasnt it

>>33656682
No, I was talking about death anxiety and achieving things before the big dirt nap.

>>33656691
achieving things for why? so ppl remember you? why not live for urself like normal ppl

i know you will never be my boyfriend and i am going to distance myself from you. you have a beautiful soul, sorry i couldnt be what you wanted me to be.
thanks for letting me know that someone else is in your bed.
goodbye

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I think I might become a writer....

>>33656696
Achieving them for myself. What do you mean by normal people?

>>33656710
people like me

>>33656722
I see, well thanks for your opinion anyways, anon.

>>33656699
>thanks for letting me know that someone else is in your bed.
No man would ever do such a thing. To me it sounds like you're trying to pull a "accuse others of things you're doing". It's a very basic technique that's about as useful as a bucket with a hole in its bottom... Unless you specifically want to annoy whoever you're saying this to.

Today was a nothingburger day.

The descent of the mind into the heart. This is the key.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yhTXcxABxU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GOK_tAxYX8

>>33656732
... However, there is an exception. Let's say the dude has you as a FWB or whatever, he finds someone else he wants to commit to, and then he lets you know and stops seeing you as a FWB. That is the one exception I can think of, and it's also what I think it's the right thing to do.

>>33656664
"Iron rusts from disuse; water loses its purity from stagnation… even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind."
Leonardo di Vinci

Don't be deceived. Don't be lead by the artifice. Such a terrible, mournful thing. Choose life, choose God.

I gotta lay off the news. A lot of folks at work don't even try to keep up to date with current events I'm gonna start doing the same

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Nihilism is a deceiver, no, THE DECEIVER's game. Don't buy what he has to sell, it gives you nothing. Pray. Know thyself. KNOW at all. When you SEE you will know. They eyes go outward, and return inward. When they return, this is where the alchemy begins. Will you melt like wax or harden like clay. Allow the inner conversation, and see, SEE, don't look outwards, don't seek outwards, no, then you aren't seeing, you are looking, see, know thyself.

>>33656812
I'm schizoposting at this point sorry. Yet I speak of truth. Just maybe getting carried away. You can't be willy nilly about this kind of thing. Forgive me.

>>33656797
That's good to do.
>>33656657

>>33656797
They do they just don't openly talk about it

in another life i wouldve been a mother and wife and be genuinely happy

>>33656855
Good thing you’re dying tonight

>>33656855
Maybe you still can. Don't give up on your dream!

But 98 mousers don’t shoot 30-06

I want to be at peace with the world and the human race. But the world and the human race just wants to be angry and hate each other. Everybody is so wrapped up in their own shit. They're all so belligerent and tribal. No matter how much I want to be on the same page as everyone else to some extent, they all just want it their way and want to be at odds with anyone who isn't the same as they are. I'm so tired of it.

>>33656972
Same

time will tell

How do I try to make friends or date when I feel inferior to everyone? I always feel like I'm too dumb, too ugly, too boring, too poor, not interesting enough, not funny enough, etc. for people. When I see other people post their information or pictures I just instantly think I'm not good enough or worthy enough. Everyone else sounds or looks a million times better than me and I see no point in trying. I'm not worthy enough to be around them

after watching that interview it is 100% clear that sam altman raped his sister

>>33653419
What what what??

>>33656154
It won't be over until you change

JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE A DISEASE DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO TREAT OTHERS LIKE SHIT. TO DESPRECT YOUR OWN FAMILY WHO JUST WANTS TO GET A LONG AND STOP ALL THE BULLSHIT AND BE HAPPY. BUT WE NEVER WILL HAVE THAT BECAUSE YOU USE YOUR DISEASE AS AN EXCUSE AND I KNOW ITS A LIE BECAUSE I SEE YOU TREAT STRANGERS BETTER THAN YOUR OWN FLESH N BLOOD. YOU SRE DISGUSTING For USING That DISEASE AS AN EXCUSE. THE JIG IS UP. ITS TIME TO STOP

That was special im going to remember you for the rest of my life

>>33656593
Do it. Be free. It's not ur problem

>>33657852
KILL YOURSELF YOU FUCKING INGRATE PIECE OF SHIT. YOUR BRAIN HAS GONE SOUR AND ROTTEN. YOUR ABILITY TO PROCESS REALITY IS GONE. YOU WILL FOREVER RUIN PEOPLES LIVES BECAUSE YOU CARE ABOUT EVERYONE ELSES BUT YOUR OWN. DIE ALREADY DIE DIE DIE

>>33657964
MARCOS YOU DIRTBAG SON OF A BITCH