I don't like to complain but I feel I have nowhere else to go without bothering friends or family. I just feel at a weird, lost point in my life.I'm 29, I have a decent job, my own place, a girlfriend, Hobbies, friends. But I just don't know what I'm supposed to do from here. I don't feel a purpose, or a goal, each day feels so empty and unfufilling.I followed the track I thought would lead me the right way, school, university, job, girl, and then family and you win. But it all just seems empty. I don't really like my job, and I struggle keeping up with it, not out of competence but out of disinterest. Ive been with my gf for a year now but I don't feel any special connection or bond with her, shes nice and all but like, if this is really the person I spend my life with... thats it? Just running through the motions doing what I'm supposed to do feeling like I'm just floating through my life. The things that I thought were supposed to give life meaning and joy are just, alright. Nothing special. People talk about how much they love their work, or have passions they pursue, causes, they have deep relationships and love for their partners, and despite being in the same spot, i feel none of it.What am I supposed to do to feel alive, and have something to aim for, and feel fufilled and that life is meaningful? Did I just make all the wrong choices and have to redo it all?
>>33649466Purpose is gay just consume resources and laugh
>>33649466Ikigai
>>33649483This seems extremely difficult. What I love, What i'm good at, and what makes money have almost zero overlap. The job i work I work only because I knew it would mean stable good employment, I'm neither very good at it, nor do I enjoy it but I make do. I'd have to reset my entire life, pursue new eductation, career, and lifestyle just to achieve this. I feel like i'm too late
>>33649491>I'd have to reset my entire life, pursue new eductation, career, and lifestyle just to achieve thisNothing wrong with that>I feel like i'm too lateRealistically it takes 5 years to learn a completely new skillset, which isn't that long in the long run
>>33649494Sure I could do that. I am worried that by abandoning my current stability for more meaningful work, would mean losing my ability to have a stable family/home/relationship. and I am scared to put that off further as it seems harder the older you get
>>33649491>This seems extremely difficult.Difficulty is irrelevant if you're doing something you actually love and is beneficial. If you're making excuses to NOT do something you love, I'd question how much you actually love doing the thing or if you have some kind of learned helplessness.
>>33649500Okay, then do nothing because your afraid of change. Thread over.
>>33649518I mean its not an excuse its just realism.I like history, language, humanities. And I enjoy spending time with and talking to other people.Theres not really a career path there, and I don't have the money to go back to school without my current job. Nothing I like or am good at is marketable job related skill. I got into computers in college specifically so I could support a lifestyle for myself and a family, but it is so boring and i've hit my skill level at it.I thought it was worth doing something I didnt care about in order to make money so that I could find a woman and have a family and that would give purpose to my life. And now that i've had a woman for a while now too, its equally unfufilling and I just feel robbed, and unsure what to do, short of just nuking my entire life and rebuilding from scratch.>>33649519i'm not afraid of change I'd just like to figure out a realistic path to goals without risking everything i've already worked for and more than likely ending up flat on my ass.Also to be fair, i have genuine intersests like I said before, but i dont really have "goals" There no specific "thing" or "focus" I greatly want to do or pursue. The only thing I ever genuinely felt that way about was again, getting a girl and settling down. Now that thats turned out to be equally unfufilling, i genuinely am not drawn to much of anything and I dont know how to find a real "Goal" or "Passion" for myself
sorry to double post but. I guess to put it into words. It seems like people have "something" that drives them. They want to be famous. They want to be the best at a game, or a trade, or a skill. They want to see a change in the world. They want to fight for something, or achieve something and they gear their whole lives around it.I never felt that way about anything. I like things, I care about some things, but it usually fades in and out and changes over time, i've always ended up a jack of all trades kind of person, nothing ever holds my interest for long.The only thing that ever felt meaningful was romantic pursuits, and lo and behold once I finally figured that out, It's become boring and I doubt I've done the right thing.I just want to know what drives others to pick something, dedicate their lives to it, and do it. What that feeling is and how to find it, because I never have
>>33649466Do you have like an attention deficiency disorder or something by chance? Let's say you had all the money in the world and you could never have children/get married, so that's no longer a driving factor in your decision making.What would you do with your life?
>>33649466Is there something you care about? There’s a lot of suffering in the world. Maybe you can help alleviate this suffering?Or maybe part of the way the world is not to your liking? Maybe you can involve yourself in a group to help that aspect of the world or your community? Frankly, starting in the community level probably makes the most sense.
>>33649582I had diagnosed ADHD as a kid. But I mean I get distracted and bored easily now but I just kinda figured that was because I hadn't found the thing yet that really grabs me.As for your hypothetical, fuck man I don't know. That was the only real life goal I ever held, and felt I was working for, everything I've done in life has been "I do this so I can get to a point where I'm settled down, in love, and done" and just coast from there.With that no longer as an option. I dont know. Play video games, hang out with friends, drink. Maybe travel and read more? Move back home and stop working. I could see myself doing some kind of entertainment for fun If i literally had nothing else to do
>>33649591I care about like history, and conservation. Animals and archalogical preservation. I think I would like teaching or research but I never did it because it basically meant a 30k annual salary for life and never having the means to meet the family/relationship goals I had aspired to.I'm actively in a masters program, which I need my work for to afford, to at least try to pivot my career in that direction but thats about all I can see for now as far as a path out. I only really feel like life is meaningful in the presence of others, and interacting with others, when i'm alone for extended periods, i literally just do nothing.
>>33649600Maybe volunteer with a local conservation group? I used to volunteer at a park where I was around other likeminded people and helped improve the environment. Give it a try.
>>33649524People have drive because that's what they've dedicated themselves to it's not the other way around they don't get drive and then dedicate themselves to something. You put the logs on first then you get the Roaring fire motivation the opposite never happens and never will happen in 10 billion years. If you spend the rest of your life waiting for motivation and drive to strike you like lightning I promise it will never ever happen.
>>33649626That sounds good, I would like to do that and have been looking around. Unfortunately theres not a lot where I live but I'll keep looking thank you.>>33649655so I just have to pick something and do it. How should I know what to pick though? And what do you do when you start getting bored or feel burn out?
You don’t know what to pick that’s why you need to make a choice instead of spending your free time in your skull reasoning why things will not work out, which you can do endlessly until 20 years have passed and you realize you’ve been wasting your time ruminating instead of doing anything productive. And if you get tired or burnt out, you take a break and do something else. You’re asking questions that are mostly irrelevant to your problem. Asking questions endlessly and ruminating instead of just doing something is the perfect formula to wasting those 20 years and getting nothing done. It’s just another highbrow neurotic form of procrastination.
>>33649466I'm going to base my answer on your not suffering from some short-term depression or mental health issues.You have outgrown your life and you want new challenges, but you are also comfortable in your current life. Thrown in a quarter life crisis and it is causing you to question your life.Why don't your hobbies fullfil you?I usually see hobbies as the springboard that leads to the next opportunity.I would say switch out some of your hobbies for something that might lead you in a new direction in the future.Also make new friends that align with your new hobbies.I don't think it is healthy to think of right or wrong choices you made in the past. Yes, learn from your mistakes, but you made your choices based on what you knew at the time. You cant go back on time with your current level of knowledge and make different decisions.Also I wouldn't make radical changes. Start with small changes and see if they spark something in you.
