I want to feel it

Okay so I found this website from a tiktok talking about it and the goyphers and meme wars and all this shit.

Well now I’m here and lowkey I’m so sad for them. A large part of me wants to save them all somehow, because living like that has got to suck and I can why they all atrophy into the incelness. But still! Some of the stuff I’ve seen on here and read like … I’ve never heard people talk like that irl. It’s like people weren’t loved growing up and that shit is fucking sad.
Also I never knew that this actually happened to guys and now I feel like I’ve met some in passing and while I always tried to befriend them and be kind, they always seemed like incredibly surprised that I noticed them. Which at the time did register as odd but I just chalked it up to them being shy or an introvert or something. Now I feel like I should’ve taken more time to get to know them and truly befriend them. Then they would have a friend or someone irl to talk to and help them out.


Sigh idk but I know most of the posters will laugh or just dismiss this.

Truly I hope each and every one of yall find some love or happiness.

I have to make amends to maybe two more people, then I can leave this shithole for good.

You are still my best friend, you don't need to kys

it's over.

>>33673739
This is just the beginning

bought my first bottle of vodka in a long time today. i wish you'd come back in my life ven as a friend. miss u

>>33673819
Same. After I'm gone from this place I'll remember you fondly regardless of what happens.

I'm tired of working a corporate job. I just want to sort mail or stock shelves overnight til I retire. Why do I have to hustle? Why is there shame in just getting by and enjoying vidya at home? I want to be an NPC.

My lack of attractiveness to the sex I'm attracted to makes me feel worthless. I've been cheated on, mistreated, misled and used all my life when the subject is relationships.
Sometimes I feel completely invisible.
It's been 20 years of this suffering, I'm losing hope that it'll change.
I've bettered myself so much. My life, my body, career. Yet, nothing suffices. Nothing makes me see even a glimpse of love, desire, attraction on their eyes.
I'm losing hope and suicide has started to pop up in my mind again. I won't do it, but it reveals how meaningless my life seemingly is to the world.
Either I'm not worthy of life, or life is not worthy of me. Or both. Nothing else makes sense anymore.
I can't stand this suffering any longer... Enough is enough.

>>33673972
wish you would just talk to me or at least leave me a line of contact open. i've accepted everything. i still care about you and just want to know you're ok and maybe update each other about what's going on. i can finally let go of this place if i have that connection, i'm only looking for you here. i wish i had just accepted it and walked away to begin with and not lost it like i did, i went over so many lines.

I wish they weren't such asshole/cunt bullies

>>33673507
The pills aren't working

>>33673973
Normalfags will still bully you at work anon

you were the best friend i ever had.

>>33674053
You're not alone, mate. I've legitimately never found a woman who was attracted to me, it's fucked up.

>>33674065
I asked your discord many times and also posted mine many times in the past and we never got into contact. If things are staying that way I'll move on for both your sanity and mine. I already posted my discord earlier in this thread, what you want to do is up to you, friend.

>>33674095
Thanks E2

>>33674053
You need to get sub 10% bodyfat, limb lengthen surgery, mew, gym maxx, big brain maxx, money maxx then get back to us loser

Mel

i think my ex did a number on my brain after years of emotional abuse. i can’t really place faces anymore. faces feel not real or distorted to the point of people not feeling real. the idea of others having thoughts inside of these faces too just makes my own mind melt. some days i feel it less and other times i can’t get away from the thoughts.

>>33674053
20????
don't worry, you'll either get good or stop caring.
30 and I was in your position before. You just end up stop caring if you're attractive or not. It's not worth it. It's not as if you live for others. You only live your own life. Stop letting others' supremacy dictate your life.

>>33673762
the beginning of the over.

I made the last of the amends I had to make. See you again as anons in the aether. Maybe.

>>33674382
The over blossoms into the beautiful new

>>33674274
Same but not really

I used to be relatively well mannered and respectful towards my parents for a few years when I turned 16 or 17 and eventually after years of bad vibes and decay, me trying to rebuild connections with my mother and having it shattered from what felt like psychological games and careless repeatedly on their part I just developed a resentment that I always found myself trying repair in short, repeated cycles. It made me feel worse than alone and I became very rude and mean over time. Frequently feeling like a piece of shit for it but it’s just what I became. I’m quite capable of positive relationships with people but I don’t expect anyone to believe it when I can’t and never could seem to have one with my mother. I don’t know what happened to my finger but I don’t feel comfortable around them whatsoever and I never will again.

I fucking hate this so much it's insane
Why would you just cut it off like this
We spent so long building up a genuine relationship full of mutual care and vulnerability and understanding
I thought you were gonna be part of my life for a really long time
A connection that magnetic is so rare, all the things we synced up and aligned on
I know things were changing for you but I really thought our feelings about each other would carry us through, none of it should've been too much
This is really fucking hard to get over and it's not fair you left me like this

I want to cry and scream and rage that I'm not having a super interesting and important life but the truth is i'm okay. Things are okay, and they will probably be okay. Its just not exciting and I don't have any hoes. But thats not even a bad life and I'm just unable to really give myself any validation for getting upset about it. So I continue to be disgruntled about my 'just okay' life. Its not hat I haven't done anything, I've thrown myself into the weirdest shit but nothing really stuck, at least not yet.

im short. i dont hate my body, im being conditioned to hate it and that makes me sad.
ill be alone forever

>>33674853
This is how I feel about (him)

>>33674886
Don't hate your body. Don't be brainwashed by sheeples.

I think you're great overall

>>33674896
This is how I feel about her

Sacred frick, life is going to be good in October, and December better yet.

I want to take her to trail of terror and screamtown. It would have been nice to take her to renfest. Maybe next year

something is wrong with the world and with me and I'll never be truly happy.

Are you into me, like I'm into you?
Do you wanna do the things I wanna do with you?

>Heh, Chud, freedom of speech isn't freedom from consequences
>NOOO YOU CANT FIRE ME FOR MY SOCIAL MEDIA POSTS

>>33673507
Still missing her and hoping some day I'll get another chance but there's less days where I'm completely consumed with sorrow and more of me remembering the good times. I just hope the universe allows us a second chance, I mean we went through so much together in just that short year and a half. Saw a meteor shower on one of our first few dates, even got to see a snow flurry in south Florida with her. Honestly the way she turned on me so quickly and became so unwilling to try and work past our issues feels like someone put a curse on me.

yeah im done trying to develop games, im just too stupid to understand the coding. i can literally make, rig and animate every asset for a game. i can draw the art, make music and sound effects. i just cant code, which is the only part that actually fucking matters. ive always wanted to make games but im just too fucking dumb

>>33675571
make a board game or ttrpg

I legit hate women so much that I kinda wish I was gay. The only thing they do is let me down and make life hell for me and everyone else on every considerable metric, there's very few of them that actually deserve being a 1st class citizen.

>>33676117
being gay sucks though.

Sometimes a bad day is better than a boring one.

I realize none of it's luck. Mine ran out a long, long time ago. Don't think I ever had any luck to begin with. All of my success has been based off of sheer ingenuity and inventiveness. Hence why it's isolated to concepts that are tied to nuts and bolts concepts like wealth, work ability, ability to work in a team and so on.

>>33674281
I'm 35. It's been 20 years I've been interested in relationships.

I feel a need for care and love, for being seen. Don't see how I can stop wanting that besides being dead or really fuckin old.

>>33676183
No it isn't, because cunts and assholes make it even worse.

Im Always nice and Smile, Help Others. Still Just there, Nobody would Care If i Just disappeared one day, and its hurting

mom blames all her personal failiures and character flaws on "mossad CIA kgb mind reading" and says shit like "watch out for their negative energy" but really shes the source of all the negative energy. she is responsible for all her failiures. she is responsible for her deteriorating mental and emotional state.
i know she knows this, she is just too weak to admit it to herself. let alone to me.
she "fears" me now because i regularly tell her to grow the fuck up and act like an adult. to find *a* job. any job. anything. she has skills. she used to work, made it pretty big. i know some of her consipracy talk is true, but its like she takes that and throws it to the stratosphere with stupid bullshit and shes still trying to evangelize me into her stupid shit because shes too afraid to bury herself alone.

My intuition is still telling me that there are more than one.

Anons are finally meming about the fasting thing I was posting. I matter. I'm going to try to set up the culture for like a decentralized fascist hermetic cult.

>>33676183
Yeah

i wish i had married you. this love is actually real, i was scared of it and now it's too late. i hurt you so bad on the way out. i wish i wasn't so self destructive.

>>33676330
Someone would remember you

Im special needs and I'm sick

>>33676871
It is ok. Someone will look passed that, love you and care for you.

>>33676666
>quads
Checked

>>33676790
Yeah my landlord because Rent will be due. Just waiting Till my pet dies then imma follow him. What ever

>most of my coworkers are lazy idiots
>September is start of busy season and predictably they're all floundering even with far less work
>manage more than any of them but I'm so fast that my manager wants me to pick up their slack
>I cant say no because manager hired all them personally they're all the same ethnicity, but I get nothing out of it because it's a mediocre government job
Fucking shoot me in the head

As soon as I tried to make things better for myself, my life turned to shit.

I quit smoking, quit all kind of drinking although I wasn't a big drinker, I started being generous and give out donations and never has life been so fucking cruel on me like this before.. I am out of a job and almost homeless..

I won't fall back in bad habits but I definitely want my life to be easier on me, it's unbearable right now..

>>33676913
The nsa? Whoever has a crush on you?

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Ive been prone masturbating since I was 8.
I would squish my limp penis against a pillow and rock my hips til I came. While limp.
I tried to quiet when I was 16, 18, and 22. No luck. I did nofap for a month and tried to masturbate the normal way. Couldn't cum.
Then I was sleeping 5 hours a night while wagecucking for 5 years. Killed my libido and boners.
Now I am a NEET for 3 weeks after missing 4500 hours of sleep and my boners are coming back a bit.
But I still have ED
I avoid masturbating at all.
I have tightness in the back of my scrotum, perineum, and where my scrotum meets my thigh it feels like there's a string in there.
Probably squashed some tube.
My mattress spring broke because of that and now it sags so I'm gonna have to buy a new one for the second time.
I probably destroyed my penis.
Only way I can have sex is with Viagra, but I also have fucked up sinuses (probably nasal polyps but the fucking doctors wouldnt believe me and just gave me fluticasone which barely helps) from my factory job where I breathed isopropyl and monoethylamine fumes.
So when I take the viagra it makes my congestion even worse cause of the lower blood pressure. And I have to mouthbreathe which I HATE. I'm not even fat!
Even then I can't cum and only lasted 5 to 15 minutes before going limp and even when it was 15 my erection was like a sine wave where it only stayed hard for like 3 or 4 minutes then I had to make out and touch tits again to get it hard again.
It fuckin sucks I am thinking of trying Cialis so I don't have to "plan ahead" when I get laid because it's a daily pill. But I also heard it fucks up your vision potentially.
I'm just fucked all around.

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>>33677291
I did the same thing except on the floor starting when I was 7 and I don’t have the same problems as u. I recently pinched and loosened up some of the muscle at the base of my cock which resulted in ed for about a month until I finally woke up with wood again last night and the night before. I loosened some muscle at the creases of the inside of my leg and things drastically improved the next day. Went weeks without being capable of getting hard without touching it and it finally worked again yesterday by itself.

I know it's a poor sample of the population, but whenever I get on dating apps, I feel like I can relate to and have interest in women less and less. Not that I'm into guys, but it seems like interests just never align.
I like books, but I hate that women who like books tend to be obese and/or read shitty romance and smut. I like to get up and be active, but I'm not lean or hulking.
I disdain the wastes of the rich and wannabes with their flashy international trips, high-end restaurants, and designer clothing and whatnot. But at the same time, I can't escape the tattoos, smoking, piercings, and single mothers at the other end.
I also can't relate to the religious either because we seem to have different systems. A lot of them come across as the whole, "Jesus is king and #1 in my life! I need a christ-centered relationship!" And I'm over here like yeah, Jesus is cool, but it's the messages and lessons that are important. I don't care if he's the so-called son of God or not. Heaven knows enough people appoint themselves divine relationship. It's the teachings that got him a following.
Then there's being conservative on the outskirts of a very liberal city. A lot of the liberals are the excesses of riches and rags I mentioned earlier and none of them want anything to do with me. Meanwhile, the conservatives tend to be the redneck kind who fish and hunt and 4wheel and whatnot. Being from a lower middle suburb, I don't hunt or 4wheel or own a boat.
I don't know, man. I may be an NPC in their eyes with my simple bicycling, gym, reading, and free-to-play gaming, but they disgust me with their tattoos, "omg roadtripping", "foodie", and otherwise sedentary lifestyles.

>>33677291
For your nasal issue it may help if u extend your tongue out while smiling and pinch out some of the muscles around your cheeks, brow ridge, throat and neck. It seemed to help me.

It's an uphill battle

>>33677291
U larped just to get me to admit this right? If anons could refrain from doing so that would be kind and respectful because I am judged by what I ignore. Someone already mentioned the “floppy fish thing” itt about two years ago so I figured that the people spying on me spread the word about it already but there are still things that I obviously don’t care to talk about.

I’ve spent two years being reminded of my past and facing what looks like false accusations from the algorithm so when I ignore something that applies to me then it gives my trespassers validity to assume that false accusations apply as well and I’m tired of dealing with it.

Almost three years ago I stumbled into a position where I had to lay out all of my secrets to prevent someone being more capable of fucking my life up even worse and it looks like they’re still trying to cause me problems.

I can’t find it in the archives and I don’t have a screenshot but someone posted “u want to look at each other while we do the floppy fish thing?” during summer of 2023 and I always had my own idea about what they were referring to.

>>33673507
im out of my mind really and out of sorts. its too little time for all the things to be lived and not enough know how. nothing to feel love, only to use my energy for. and i never thought i say it, but i feel utterly, completely alone.

There’s a lot that I wanted to keep to myself but if I did then there was serious potential for my life to end up worse by means of manipulation.

These job requirements on job listings are so fucking retarded. College degree, 5 years of experience, a list of industry certifications as long as your arm, have to be an expert in 15 different technologies, all for like tier 1 helpdesk that pays like 32k a year.

>>33677971
Just find someone your friends with connected to that job area or acquaintance

>>33677816
That's what happened to me. Dealing with it now and fixing what was done to hurt us.

I'll fondly remember you. I would have loved to meet you, befriend you, develop things further if we liked each outer.

I'll just remember how I was treated forever. I'll treat people the same.

It's so hard and easy to get my life together. Maybe I should just come forward with it all, pack my shit, and leave to be completely alone? I'm acting as an assistant to my old and fat aunt. I put down money to help mom with her down payment on this house. I pay the bills and groceries while mom handles the mortgage. She still lives in another state and is taking care of shit like a lawsuit my now deceased brother started. She's also trying to sell that house in that state while refusing to retire. My family, everyone except the youngsters are the judgemental type. Hell, even some of my cousins in my generation feel pretty cold. I don't like my uncles. I don't feel any love or appreciation here. Whenever someone says something nice, it comes off as fake like they're using me. I volunteered to do this, but I regret it. It feels like I can't leave or else my aunt will join my brother. I want to leave. There is a reason I don't engage with any of you and just sit in my room alone or do errands or just work. Maybe if I took my SSRI again, I would think clearly, but a part of me thinks that the moment I do, I would just get fed up and ask permission to move out and leave all this behind. It's weird to want permission to stop supporting your family as an adult, isn't it?

I had a dream where I accidentally called my friend mommy in a public setting and she was disgusted by it. We do joke about the age gap between us with me being 23 and her being 33 but it's nothing too serious comes out of it cause she's already in a relationship. I don't mind the things she says like calling be a bottom bitch cause we both understand that it's just teasing but I think the only reason why I'm like this is because life sucked for a while and I never got this type of attention before...

If you spell faste the old way then the it is the letters of feast rearranged. I like that.

Each time I am on the internet it irritates me with how people hurt themselves when they read my statements. They forget what antcedents are, what figuritive language is, and what the key statement is. What they do is skim through my statement missing out on key facts and details, take the entire thing out of context, misread the tone and attitude, and for the dumbest reason ever because a few words or statements pop out, mske a ridiculous characterization of themselves and me. You have no idea how many times I've dealt with people ridiculously acting like a martyr when I try to reason with them. They claim to be intelligent, but they read me like an idiot.

>>33673507
being mixed is fucked, someone thought I was 100% native american, then got triggered when I told them I am a mutt. Also, how in the fuck am I 50% european, and even able to decieve full blooded natives.... fucked shit my guys.

Feels like self destruction

legit having an existential crisis.

I have a huge fucking crush on this girl at work, but I cannot talk about it with anyon. It's killing me

Smoking kills

he's attractive and cool, why doesn't he just get a gf already? he's single for what 6 years now, it'd be so much easier.

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Still cannot solve the problem of wanting to go out and socialize but not wanting to drink. If I go into a bar and order a coke I will feel like such a faggot. I just want to hang out and make friends and play pool with people but its so fucking hard when you don't drink. I cant drink because both of my parents are alcoholics and its like 95% chance I wind up fucked up too if I drink.

>>33678170
>They fingered my butt, I'm going to finger theirs!!!

i am sexually attracted to my boss. i cant do anything about it.

>had a dream I was finally going back over to her house
>her mom and cat answered the door
>cat is sniffing me
>"Oh you remember [Anon]"
>go to her bedroom
>as soon as I open the door I wake up
I haven't seen her in 4 months and it's been 2 since she crashed out and blocked me. I miss her so much.

>>33678439
O algo. Yeah.

Avoid dating people who are broken.
No good can come if it.

>>33678393
People who think this way are dumb, you can make your own adult decisions without using your parents as a horoscope for what to do or not do.

Both my parents are alcoholics and I just see alcohol as a mostly too expensive food item that is only fun to drink when everyone else is drunk as well, so like a party. I drink every 4-5 or so months and since I'm kinda a lightweight I never manage to have more than 4 drinks. After 4 you just feel bad so not worth it in my experience.

Not that abstaining is bad but muh parents is just an excuse. People who just say they don't like the taste of alcohol are more respectable.

a girl I was kinda giving up on sent me a picture of something she did at work today with her smiling really cutely in a background mirror.
And phew, that image really did a number on me just now. soo, I guess I'll try a little longer, as I have just noticed that I might be in love with her, or at least am crushing on her

>>33678393
alcoholism is often about coping with some unresolved things you're carrying around. you might be better of in that respect than you parents.
and in any case, you are not your father, nor your mother.

>>33678595
She got you whipped, my boy
She knows she just has to send a goofy pic and you'll come crawling back

>>33678640
>>33678595
This. Cucked bucked and broken

>>33678483
Avoid people like you

>>33678461
if she blocked you, you know that it is time to move on. don't miss her anymore. look for someone better.

I've been lurking the monger threads and I think I might just do it. 34 and after everything that has happened, specially the last few months I don't know what else to fucking do. I spent my whole life trying to avoid all this shit only to always explode in my face 10 fold. I even ran the numbers, all those months of therapy and taking her retarded advice of joining dating apps again I could have spent on a fucking okish hooker or a good run house. It's clear It's never gonna happen and all the shit I've ever done is worthless. Whatever this weird thing is of love I either don't understand it or am not supposed to have it.

I'm broke, jobless and I feel like a fucking loser right now. Sucks because this is usually my favorite time a year but I can't even really enjoy it with no cash

>>33678774
What do you usually work in?

>>33673507
Feel like it's an irony of ironies, I get this feeling that I want her back, even though I know I wouldn't likely stay.
And it feels gross as it comes from this sense that I didn't love her enough when I was with her. Feels like borderline double think.

How long does it take to get over someone you didn't even technically date
2 months and still feeling like shit about her is kinda wild

Why do redditors end every other sentence with an exclamation point? Everything they say is just so exciting! They're so enthusiastic! about everything!

Do any of y'all have tinnitus? How do you manage it? Can it go away?

>>33679075
I'm going on almost a year.

>>33679342
>Do any of y'all have tinnitus?
Me
>How do you manage it?
I've become used(read: numb) to it
>Can it go away?
maybe yours can, my doctor told me that I'll have it for the rest of my life

>>33679342
Yeah, for as long as I can remember. When I was little, like 5 or 6, I just thought that's what silence sounded like because it's what I heard when nothing was happening. I hear the high pitched "eeeeeee" right now as I'm typing this. But like I said, I've had it forever, so it's never bothered me. It's always been "normal" to me.

My name is cat poster and it has been 6 years since I felt whole.

When you guys use a can opener, do you turn the handle clockwise or counter clockwise? I've always gone counter clockwise and turning in the opposite direction just feels wrong

>>33679342
Never don't have a fan on

It’s be nice to cuddle with you. Scratch your back and just gently touch you. I wanted to do more of that. Sorry I got too emotional about all of it. Something’s wrong with me and I - I feel like I’m looking down a barrel. I want so badly to be done with all of this. I hate being here. I don’t wanna be here. Sorry I just didn’t want you to know that. You’ll be happier living your life with someone else.

>>33679688
You know how to make amends
The path to higher karma lies in the small acts of grace you perform today

Im ugly. Legit unsightly. So i had to compensate for it in other ways. Like art and good grades. This has led to me wanting to kill myself whenever id get shit grades. It was the only thing i had going for me. Even when id thought back then id have killed myself in a few months so what the fuck did it matter.
I need to die. Im fucking hideous. Like a corpse. Fucking nasty subhuman freak. Fuck my parents for their shit genetics and fuck my "friend" for not wanting to reach out. That bitch. I have to initiate conversations now. Hope you feel shallow guilt when you hear ive died. But what do i know. You dont care about me enough to even say hi on occasion. Fake bitch fake bitch fake bitch i hope my death traumatizes you somehow. Of course i wont tell her any of this. But its clear that her concern is virtue signaling

Maybe i should start cutting myself. So what if my mom sees it and loses her shit. Ill just tell her its the result of her bullying. I dont deserve anything nice

>>33679757
uhm. Not the response I expected. 4chan will never cease to amaze. Buddha’s wisdom, huh.

I want to die anon. I genuinely don’t feel any sense of dread or despair at the thought. I kept consciously and subconsciously sabotaging myself until I’m an isolated sobbing wreck, when in reality I’m relieved. I get to be alone and miserable, and no one bothers me.

I like going for walks in the quiet woods. Soft cool tree shade. Gentle streams and rivers. I just don’t want the rest of it. Work and life and monotony, bills, stress - even joy is tiring. Happiness is like an awkward smile. I just want to sleep for a long while.

He’s not someone who misses me. He barely even knew me. I desperately fed into my anxiety and fear so that I had enough emotional leverage to force myself to break the connection. I’m sorry I did it to him, but he’d be grateful in the long run. I always end up here.

Things could always change. One day things might change. I’ve just felt this way since I was a kid, and I’m tired of fighting.

Im so anxious and nervous. I'll never be ready

My life is literally a fucking movie.

I had an intense backstory, then I had a prologue that was straight out of a movie with scripted lines and all. Now I'm in the current events part of the movie. I wonder what the epilogue will be.

>>33679342
sleep with a fan on and have a white noise app on my phone just in case. Surprisingly has not negatively affected my life at all to have pretty bad tinnitus.

If u loosen the muscles at your face it’s important to do so with your face stretched in various ways. If u stick your tongue out this will make a forward extension at the throat thus stretching. Collapsing is just as important as stretching so if u can figure out how to drop your esophagus downward while pinching muscles out while maneuvering your neck and shoulders around then u will target what seems as an absolute essential step for making progress. If u get pops in your neck and shoulders then it’s working correctly. It’s easier to dictate if u are lowering your esophagus correctly if u have an Adam’s apple but u should still be able to feel it by touch regardless. There are muscles at the upper part of the chest as well that effects air flow which are easier to loosen if your esophagus is lowered. Just as important as it is to work muscles with your jaw extended it’s also important to jut your jaw inward as well. A lot of it is tucking/bending, essentially “collapsing” then pinching and extending. Relaxing while pinching and making several quicker and less as tight grips will unbunch a lot as well. Scalp is easier to loosen with your head tilted back and u kind of need to work your way up around the entire perimeter of your head, face and neck. Scalp is most difficult and u really need to pry underneath muscles wherever possible and gradually more loose spots will emerge. Having stiffness in the upper back or shoulders or collar can prevent room for progress at the neck. Stiffness at the neck can prevent progress at the face. Stiffness at the ear or forehead or side of skull can prevent progress at the top of skull. This can potentially change the dynamics of the eye muscles as well and the only way I’ve possibly figured out a way to loosen them is to roll my eyes as far as I can in all directions while squinting and then tuck my neck and shoulders in while rolling my head around, popping my arms out.

If anyone can help or give advice. I’m trying to quit porn after about 10 years on SSRIs and while my libido wasn’t killed on them now it is getting to the point of being chronic. On the SSRIs it was once a day and now, it varies from 1 to 7. I maintain a job, but it is affecting my sleep and depression is returning. I’m a fucking wreck and don’t know what to do. I’ve even gooned with people and I want to stop but I fucking can’t.

>>33677643
trying that, we'll see if it helps.

>>33677623
Yeah I'll get morning wood now that I sleep better.
And I'll massage and do frog pose stretch like the PT told me.
I can get hard a bit now but it's not long enough for intercourse.

Stiffness at the chin has caused issues as well. I believe that positioning your face as if u smell something foul and jutting your jaw to the sides while pinching the muscles out may be the best method along with extending the tongue and pinching it out as well. I overlooked between the lip and nose until recently and I think that making the stinky face is the best way to address it as well. If u jut your jaw forward/inward and upward while making that face, pinch your inner cheek vertically and drop tour chin then it should loosen that part too.

>>33680031
I think that having a suitably stiff pelvic floor is essential. Probably supposed to be strong enough for retaining blood but not too stiff for any flow either. Not sure. I think the area of concern that may constrict flow is more at the crease of the leg. Still trying to figure it out. Changing muscle balance and condition at my lower abdominal from loosening may have fucked me up as well, hopefully temporary. They say kegels are good for pelvic floor. As cringe as it sounds I have this thing called a thigh master that seems like it targets right where I need it to in order to fix myself but I’m not sure. Used it recently but only like four times. Google says it doesn’t work for that but I think google might be wrong. Kept my legs straight last time instead and it seemed like more of a proper technique.

>>33678350
Why not

I'm not ready

>>33678393
You don't have to drink. No one knows what is in your glass unless you share your drink. You can get a soda water with lime in it. You can also buy really tasty non-alcoholic beer that Corona makes called Cero. It's 0%. I was actually very impressed with it and I do drink alcoholic beer. It's identical to real Corona and with a lime, it's really tasty. Thing is, it was like $8 each at the bar. Real beer was cheaper lol. Apparently Heineken makes one too that's really good, but I had the Cero as I was having tooth surgery and couldn't mix booze with the pain meds. It was a weird feeling not having any buzz at all after having the Ceros all evening. But I was actually a lot happier and I didn't have to worry about transportation. To me, this is a purely psychological issue you have and it can easily be solved.

My friend told me tonight that she discovered, via social media, my ex's mother died today from very aggressive cancer. She was a very sweet woman who opened her home to me several times and had a lot of love. I haven't spoken to my ex or her in a year and a half, but this news hits me hard, for some reason.

I sent him a message. I probably should not have, but I did. It said this:

"Hey [Anon],
[Friend] told me she saw today on social media that your dear sweet mother passed away today. I am so sorry to hear this - I'm heartbroken for you and your sister. I can't imagine how difficult a day this is for you.

I am praying for you and your family. May your mother rest peacefully in the arms of her savior, and may you find strength and comfort in the coming days. "

I have zero feelings for my ex and am happily taken now in a healthy relationship, but the melancholy and sadness are strong tonight for some reason.

>>33679075
I'm 7.5 months on and lately it still comes back to fucking crush me at really random times. Not all the time but just out of the blue. It hits us guys a lot harder than it hits women. They don't give a fuck because another one will be trying to hump their legs every time they go out to the bar. We're just ATM's (banking machines) to them. We probably never even really truly mattered to them at all...

I’m a retail manager. My job has evolved from making sales and goals and such, to lately catching a bunch of my associates clocking each other in and stealing. Just partnering with HR on the next steps and loss prevention and stuff. They’re making me hate my job. Like damn I’m literally looking and time locks and emails and patterns and such. Perhaps it’s time for a career change.

>>33680197
Damn im sorry anon, I understand how you feel, im not a manager but retail is hell. You should tell your supervisor to keep an eye on them.

>>33680197
Please describe the ethnicities and genders of the most egregious employees. I'm curious.

>>33679342
Yes, 24/7/365. So badly in the beginning I wanted to off myself. It was 10/10 rock concert bad. I actually lost my hearing for 1 year in that ear. You have to sleep and eventually your mind tunes it out since it can never get rid of it and it never stops. Get yourself a multi-stage air purifier tower that has a sleep setting on it (lowest setting). It's just loud enough to mask the tinnitus but not loud enough to be annoying. The cool air helps you sleep too.

Also, get yourself WhiteNoise Pro (get the pro edition - buy this app) and download a bazillion free sounds for it. With headphones, they immerse you in a 3D sound setting and it is very relaxing. I like some of the space ship engine or sleep room droning sounds. Airplane cabin is nice too. Fan sounds are good too or heaters. Trust me, get this app. Get good comfy in ear buds too that you can sleep on without poking your ears out or getting fucked in a pillow. You can set an alarm on the app so it will wake you in the morning still. It's a life changer. Hopefully your tinnitus improves a bit. There is also the Epley Maneuver you might wish to try...look it up on YouTube. Orange foam squishy earplugs are excellent too. You can wash them in hot soapy water and dry them to reuse. I could write a book on this shit. If I've survived 10 years of this hellscape, you can too...

>>33680206
It’s so annoying. Like I’ve mastered my position desu, but this just opened my eyes to like yeah I need to leave after this holiday season. I would like to focus on career growth and such, why the fuck am I focusing on Anon texting me he’s running late yet I see he’s clocked in, it’s a whole little scheme. LP will take them in and make them pay back the stole time and give me a little bonus, but I’m just here like the fuck am I doing I’m babysitting retard potheads.

>>33680211
It’s roodypoos and ICE targets. Think your typical Marshalls or Walmart employees.

>>33679528
Get an electric can opener. It will make the decision for you. I love my electric can opener. You'll throw your twisty one out.

>>33679528
I use a japanese can opener and just puncture along the edges.

>>33679776
You should try a different hairstyle or clothing choice. You could go see a style consultant. They can do amazing things. Like jaw dropping changes. It's usually easier on a woman because they color their hair and use makeup or cut it and dress them up slutty or something...but it can work for guys too. Seriously, give it a shot bud. It may be a game changer for you. If you wear glasses, maybe even just a simple frame change or different lens shape.

>>33673548
Anon, life is life and such, and you have the autonomy to do as you will, but give life a little more consideration.
It’s destructive on an unimaginable level to the family.
I’ve seen suicide twice. Once ~45 year old mother blew her head open with a .38 during Thanksgiving. Another was a 14 year old girl who hung herself, but the rope was too long so she knelt to hang herself. It’s haunting to see the family afterwards. Moments are forever altered, forever tainted. Just give it a little more thought, if not for you for those you care for.

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>drunk is who i am
yeah but the problem is drunk is me
help

>>33673973
Them don’t! Be happy, there’s more under the arches of Heaven than money.

>>33680183
You did the right thing. Grieving in your own way for him and yourself shows you have a good heart. Good luck in your relationship. Make him know how much he matters to you. Kiss him and say you love him and cuddle him closely. You don't have to explain...just let your body tell the story. Peace.

>>33680017
You need to listen to this audio book by Dr Anna Lembke called Dopamine Nation. She talks about sexual addiction in it but it applies to all addiction...from social media, to food, to drugs, whatever brings pleasure in excess. She even speaks about her own smut reading addiction that almost ruins her marriage. Very calm and soothing voice to listen to. In short, your dopamine levels aren't in homeostasis and you are suffering from withdrawal symptoms. You're addicted to dopamine bro from the high.

The audiobook is 5.5 hrs. WORTH LISTENING TO. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nj8KBsEl5gQ

Research her, she's all over YouTube. She's pretty grounded and famous.

>>33680253
I wasn't on about suicide, I was on about making amends to two people and then moving on. I took a weight off my shoulders, I accepted the fact I made mistakes, forgave myself and moved on. I'm not thinking about the past at all in this moment, I'm thinking about the future, a future that doesn't have anyone I already know in it.

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an old friend blocked me on steam. we had a falling out a few years ago, but i feel bad seeing him block me. we knew each other since middle school. used to play games and talk on discord for hours until 3 am, all throughout high school, college and after. went to all the different restaurants in town, rating the best sushi places, best Mediterranean places, best fast food slop. i still feel like he's as close as family. i hope he's doing okay. i miss my friend.

im married and moved countries to be with my wife 2 years ago

i still have 0 friends here and no idea how to find them
ive tried posting on local friend finder sites but i almost only get responses from women
i also have no social hobbies and the idea of going out to a bar or something makes me want to die

>>33680301
You can be friends with women too you know. Just introduce your wife to them too. Maybe your wife would let you have female friends if she can be a part of that friendship circle too. Maybe you can join couples friendship groups together? If there isn't a couples group out there you can start your own group. Take the initiative. Do you have any hobbies? Can you join any activity groups related to those hobbies? If they don't exist in your area, create one. The world won't come to you...you need to go to it. Create it and they will come find YOU. You just have to start somewhere - baby steps.

>>33680313
i really dont want female friends and would also be sad if my wife had male friends so i see it as fair
cant really think of any hobbies i could go to stuff for
usually when i go places i just end up sitting quiet in the corner wishing to go home and feeling unwelcome
my good friends at home were all from school

>jerking off
>get happy birthday message from female friend right as I cum

Thinking about this cute asian dude I used to know. I saw him online on Facebook and for some reason I decided to check our old conversations. We were very cute with each other, but lacked the means to meet since he was always traveling and I was drowning in debt at the time. At some point his family took his to Spain and we both kinda parted ways by not talking as much and him being busy with the new life. Back in 2022 I tried talking to him and noticed he changed a lot. Almost like he became very religious and was no longer into what he was back then. Maybe he wasn't even into dudes anymore, I couldn't tell. At some point he simply stopped checking the messages I sent and I gave up. Kinda miss what we had, but I hope he's doing well. A shame that people can simply part ways like that, but that's life.

>>33680294
>we had a falling out a few years ago
Why?

I spent all night watching anime and I'll deeply regret this when I get up at 4 in the afternoon. I would have rather done something in the morning, maybe going for a jog, but I'll sleep throughout it instead. Too bad.

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>daughter died when I was 21
>wife died when I was 22
>turning 35 in a few minutes
>celebrating alone again
Going to be wishing for the same thing I do every year when I blow out the candles.

>>33680357
told me he was trans. i honestly didn't give a fuck. i told another friend he was and he got shit from the other friend for it (even though the two hadn't been friends for years because of politics). he just slowly stopped talking to me and then blocked me on steam in the last week or so.

he had constantly been telling me to stop talking to my other friend since at least 2016 cause he's conservative but I refused cause they're both my friends.

so bored of 4chan but i cant stop spending hours every day refreshing it

>>33680385
I know this will sound harsh, but this one's on you.
It would've been possible to keep both friends, but you told one something about the other that they didn't want known.
This is the best advice I can give anyone: Don't open your mouth when you don't have to.

>>33680402
fair enough. I admitted it was a mistake and he accepted my apology but he just slowly stopped chatting with me, so i guess my apology wasn't enough. just sucks

>>33680283
Also, I like how I'm feeling at the moment, especially the fact I can't stop thinking about the future. It's as if after making the amends I had to make my eyes opened. I finally listened to my own advice of not dwelling on the past. This could get better only if I magically were to meet the one and only girl I ever went on a date with and fugging her. I will ask her out again one of these days.

>>33680464
People who are usually "trans" are not mentally well because of emotional/mental issues etc. Perhaps it was for the best anon.

>>33680484
I'll ask her out exactly after I wake up, first thing in the afternoon. I want to start the day then right way, and I'm sure she will even ask a day off from work just to see me.

>>33680218
Wish I could leave like you but I need to pay bills and wait a few more years

>>33680504
That's what I say to myself. He was severely depressed, obese, with a bunch of health problems and just sat in his room watching anime all day. I tried helping him out a ton, even bought him new furniture and helped clean his room top to bottom a few times but he let it get trashed within a week afterwards so I just stopped. His mom even asked me to help him figure his life out, and I didn't know what the hell to do. I even rushed back home from a vacation i was on to visit him in the hospital after he attempted suicide.

I guess I just always saw him as the guy I knew in middle and high school who was this awesome funny guy who was super smart and I just wanted it to get better for him.

My luck's finally run out. My workplace has been going down the shitter for years, dragged down by bottom of the barrel employees, terrible pay for most of us, and the very top hiring friends and relatives to management positions with inflated salaries. Well, the money's finally run out, we're in massive debt, and this time the purges look like they're going to get me.

We had this happen several times over the years--business gets in a bind and people get let go. We've gone from 14 in my department down to 9, then 6, and now we're at 4. Every time someone leaves, we get no replacement and everyone else has to pick up their slack. I've largely been insulated from it because my job is essential, if easy, so people have been reluctant to rock the boat in case it flips over. But recently, other departments have been cut wholesale and replaced by contract workers, and I suspect we're right around the corner.

I'm not entirely worried because I never planned to stay here as long as I have, mostly sticking around to flirt employees in other departments and to have a mostly easy, mostly unbothered night shift. But I was hoping to make it until the first of the year before the job hunt began again, and I know wherever I go next will probably pay a lot better and expect me to stay busy all shift.

The only thing that makes me feel a little better is it looks like a lot of the people making bad decisions are about to get caught too since it'll be our whole department. We're already losing some of our administration and it looks like the CEO is about to get hung out to dry soon, so I think the whole thing is going to crater.

>>33680552
He probably wasn't trans he probably has deep rooted issues he needed to talk to a professional preferably a male who wasn't too judgmental. Who knows perhaps he's doing better?

>>33680585
he went to live on the other side of the country with his transbf/gf so maybe. it's been radio silence for at least a year, i hope he's alright and getting the help he needs, but i have a feeling the issues aren't over with.

>>33680607
Don't dwell too much on him anon. Focus on putting finding whatever makes you happy. But if you really want to reconnect with him, find a way to? But be cautious.

I really hate my job because I have to work with Indians. I'm beginning to fear I need to switch careers to avoid them. I hate working so much, I hate having to be something, I hate stress. I have no friends, never have, and I'm 32. I think it's time to an hero. I'm so mad.

>>33680618
nah, I don't want to interrupt if he's genuinely living a better life outside of here. Maybe it was just where he was. he's smart enough to figure it out. maybe in the future we'll reconnect, but honestly I've felt this before. lots of friends just fall theough your fingers, although not usually ones you've known for so long or were so close to.

I think it's probably time for me to grab some friends that aren't just holdiver high school buddies. and maybe a girlfriend while I'm at it.

>>33680632
Change to a different job. Don't an hero yet anon. Don't give up

>>33680649
Do that and explore more hobbies interests. Get a new haircut etc

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>Several women at working having kids lately.
>By the time their kids are 10 years old I'll be pushing 40 and my parents will be dead or dying.
Children I knew the names of before they were even born are already walking and talking and going to school on their own. Time is really starting to catch up and I know I'm not ready, even though this anxiety has always been in the back of my head. In the words of one /gioyc/ anon, the comfy times won't come back until we're ready to do uncomfy things. I don't want my parents to die lads, for all their flaws they're the only family I have.

I dont want to associate with any of you, youre annoying

>>33673507
>be me
>regularly go out to favorite bar
>absolutely cute chubby bartender starts working there one day
>feel like we're building rapport
>god she's so perfect
>tfw overhear her talking to coworkers when she says something about her "mother in law"
Fuck, why does this keep happening?

>>33673507
I did so much terrible shit in my life and I'm starting to feel like it's going to catch up. I feel like I've been getting away with something for years. Always running away. Running from my problems. Don't want to form connections with people. I think people notice this. I think there are people that hate me that I don't even know about. My greatest hope is that people forget me. Forget I exist. I think I'm on some government lists. I feel like any day something terrible is going to happen to me. I wish I could have just been normal.

I’m 25 and a half years old and I have no college degree and I’m not cut out for the trades and I am gonna be working retail and living in my dad’s house until he or I die(s), I’ve had one long-term serious relationship and then I was single for like 3 years and then got dragged into a situationship for a month that really fucked me up and now months after that shitshow I’m talking to multiple women but am too autistic and scared to actually flirt with them because I feel like I’m verbally molesting them and I don’t want to make things awkward, so fuck me I guess. My life’s fuckin’ over

If things were different and I got the help I needed it wouldn’t have turned out like this. Maybe I should have killed myself back then if I knew it was going to be like this. You know at some point, it’s like why the fuck do I have to deal with this shit like give me a fucking break all that shit back in high school where I lost my god damn mind, being so fucking helpless that I could ‘t help myself anymore and honestly why the fuck wasn’t I helped like there were times a therapist was advised but I was really scared that they were in on it and I just wasn’t me anymore and it’s like why didn’t you dig deeper on what was going on or even talk to me. I just didn’t want to be in pain anymore and just wanted someone to love me and hold me it’s just so lonely. It’s like everybody just gets to ignore what happened like it really hurt to even read back then. I just don’t know what to from here after the things I’ve done and everything that happened it’s like why do I live like this. Maybe I should just give up on love because it’s like I am pretty much a burden at this point and I don’t want to involve someone in their life with me. There really is no going back I guess I just have to live.

Found out today the girl I've had a crush on and been attempting to woo off and on for a while apparently only like women. Her coworkers goaded me on to keep trying as a joke because they knew.

This is the fourth woman who's turned out to be gay that I've attempted to court. I need to stop chasing tomboys.

I still think it's gross and weird nonwhites use bidets

Here we go. I thought that went too well, too smoothly. This place really has turned to shit in the last year.

Well I'm not going to be screwed around by some lying idiot. You will regret this decision.

>>33681663
>comes to /adv/ to post bait about him having dingleberries
Here's your (You)

>>33681663
Europeans use bidets too. They dont waste a lot of paper but they do use a lot of water. Supposedly "doctors" say its healthier on your anus and skin, probably would help with your constipation and poop getting stuck on your anus hair.

Good morning anons.
I've been lurking 4chan since 2007.
This is my first time posting on /adv/.

I had been talking to and flirting with a female coworker for about a year. I took things slow. I showed her through my actions and not my words that I was a good man. We had lots of fun together. She always gave me choosing signals, physical touch constantly and it was obvious she was attracted to me. She would play games like hot and cold, love bomb me one day and then ignore me for a couple days. I never chased. I always gave her space. I thought she was just playing hard to get or taking bad advice from other women or magazines or something.
I asked her out twice and she said she was busy. Both times I gave her space and after a week or two she would come back and things would return to a flirty normal. The third time I asked she said yes and we had lunch together. That's when I noticed she seemed off. She would be relaxed and comfortable then on edge when other people around us got too close. I didn't trust my gut and continued to pursue her romantically.
One day I was leaving work and saw her get picked up by a guy driving her car. Suddenly it all made sense. I confronted her the next day. "That guy is your boyfriend?"
"Yes."
I walked away without another word. She had been using me for attention and to pump up her ego the whole time. She was keeping me warm on the back burner while she had a boyfriend. I really liked her but her lack of loyalty and game playing has really turned me off. She says she likes me but I don't trust her at all anymore. I only ever say hello to her anymore and always keep it strictly business otherwise. I know I should just move on and find someone better.

Thoughts? Advice?
Thank you

>>33681788
She's a bitch anon, I'm sorry. Don't let it get to you

I come to the conclusion corporate world is detrimental to my development.

The torture has been ramping up extremely slowly over the last 2 weeks. Usually they can't help themselves for an hour, so it's weird. It's been knife world for awhile now though, so that fucking sucks.

I don't know if I'm suppose to dig up the riot or not. 5 minute dementia faggot is gone at least but again, they are ramping it the fuck up so it's going to get bad. It seems they learned they lesson by shutting the fuck up and not saying anything. I can't tell if they are foreign operatives or not at the moment.

They pretend to not know how to use the tools but they have done two things that show that they absolutely know what they are doing. The weird noise this morning and the spit thing from before. The dreams are also really, really fucking vivid and memorable. These things show they know what they are doing.

The question is though... fucking why? What is the point? The deadpool is gone, Gwen isn't going to help them, the NSA is destroyed and most everyone is in prison. It has to be the final level for real this time. The actual shadow group is clinging on to hope that they will be able to make a deal of some kind.

Welcome to the Panic Room

NOOOOOOOOO I DON'T WANT TO GO TO WORK TONIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOOO FUUUUUUUUUUUUU

>>33681828
Thank you anon. You are right. 100%.
I'll be okay. It's her loss and honestly I dodged a bullet.
Have a nice day

Ignore a woman today

I'm getting better at drawing but im not improving as fast as I want to

One more chance...let's see if I get one more chance then.

>>33681684
>>33681728
Why the fuck do bidet users get so angry at me calling them disgusting it's so weird. There is nothing hygienic about using a tool that others use to clean their buttholes of diaherrea hell it probably spreads disease. It's not like you freaks are using soap. And what am I supposed to do with a soaking wet asshole just use a ton of more tp or have a dedicated BUTT TOWEL for a full anus shower every time I wanna take a shit? I take daily showers I don't need a butt carwash every time I dump

Sike

I cant get this fuckin bitch outa my head

>>33682160
Im not being offensive or defensive. It's not unhygienic, dermatologist and doctors say its better for your butt skin.

>>33682160
>It's not like you freaks are using soap
Keep talking about things you don't know about, I'm sure that will get you places lol.

My dad might be a closeted tranny and I'm not okay with it. I don't want my dad to be a tranny. How do I save him?

>>33682371
Take him to see a psychologist(male)
It's probably because he's losing his testosterone. Make sure he sees an endrocologist

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I went to four different tobacconists looking for my favorite tobacco, usually at least one of them has it. Not today.

>>33682365
So you have a mini butt shower with soap and water every time you take a poop? Kek

>>33681788
Never date coworkers. You shouldn't even be friends with her in the first place.

The lady at my work is so cute, I get so nervous just walking past her. I don't know how I'm going to break the ice.

I find it funny how you're obsessed with carrying out revenge on a person that doesn't particularly care about you and you post things assuming that's what that person thinks. I wish I could laugh in your face IRL. But on second thought it would be funnier if I recognized you, I greeted you by your nationality, and then carried on as if nothing happened.
And by the way, you almost managed to trick me into hating your nation as a whole in the past. That's low. Even lower than your usual.

>>33675571
Then you need to work as an artist on somebody else's game, go hit up /agdg/

>>33681036
No one wants to associate with you either. Trust me. You have that loser reputation for a reason.

>>33682371
Publicly humiliate him online and especially at his work but do it anonymously or you might get kicked out of the house and not get an inheritance one day but this should clear up the faggotry and faux girly shit.

I know I shouldn’t date coworkers especially when they’re good friends with the last coworker I dated and higher up than me in the leadership hierarchy and incompatible with me long-term on the basis of religion and being an OnlyFans whore. But she’s soooo fucking hot, I get so excited just from her perfume, electric eyes that you can’t ignore. And she likes a LOT of the same shit as me and has similar music/fashion taste. Wallahi I’m cooked, I have lost my dignity and my self-control and perhaps my free will

I get nothing in return

No ones noticing your sociopathy at all, you're so damn clever LMAO
Get rekt.

I have no problems whatsoever withh admitting I dislike 90% of people. I am honest, unlike you. Are you enjoying the granny? I hope you are, I stopped caring about her a long time ago.

Wish I became autistically proficient at something during my childhood. A sport, an instrument, at least talking to people properly, anything. Trying my best to make the most of what I was given is the only thing I can do but man do I wish it was at least a little easier.

Saw a 50 year old that looked no older than 30, I understand MILF enjoyers now...
I understand Benjamin Franklin now...

Damn, not only you're severely brain damaged, you also have bad eyesight? 'm so sorry bro, really.

I'll always be wrong

>>33681788
She has a boyfriend and is manipulative. Cut her off, it's game over. Nothing good will come of pursuing this.

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I'm fake from back to front. I have lied so often and so frequently, that my entire personality from the ground up is a complete fiction.

Gender? Lie.

History? Lie.

Trauma? Lie.

Everything i am is fraudulent. It's not the social persona we all have, it's genuinely that the person I parade around to others is completely 100% made up down to the name. The lies are so big and so thorough that if i come out on them now, it's going to be total social collapse.

man i fucked up this coffee

Im honestly afraid of people finding out my race/ethnicity and thinking I ai gen my art or sum shit because they think non-whites can't do anything mildly well

You have some embarassing conformist mentality

>>33683325
Pot calling the kettle black
Shove it up your ass

>>33682906
She's got stds

I swear.
Some people will really go out there and choose the stupidest and most shallow reason to be with another person just to break up because they're actually not compatible and then bitch about it online.
I'm not a hater I'm just like what the fuck do you expect.

I DON'T WANT TO GO TO WORK
I DON'T WANT TO GO TO WORK
I DON'T WANT TO GO TO WORK

>>33683564
>WAGIE WAGIE

>>33683564
I DONT WANT TO CUM
I DONT WANT TO CUM
I DONT WANT TO CUM

>>33683507
This

I wonder what's fueling the dissemination of anti-vax stuff? I understand pharamaceutical companies are evil and corrupt, etc. But, from the perspective of the political class, isn't that a GOOD thing? Wouldn't our equally evil and corrupt rulers want to beef up their benefactors as much as possible? What do they gain by creating a world where their worker bees are dying off? Or is that the whole point?

>>33683612
Catfished.com

>>33683602
GET IN THE FUCKING CAGIE, ANONSHI
t. work I hate despite being the easiest I've ever had

Prima donna S with spotlight on: Oh doth thy know how offensive Zach was when he told me I disagree with your feminism..
Crowd: OH MY GOD We love you S we get how tortured you are!
-throws flowers and applause.
MEANWHILE IN SYRIA
South Syrian boy: lalalalala just enjoying my ice cream lalalalala
North Syrian terrorist: الكافر
North Syrian terrorist shoots rpg and he explodes

>>33683649
Uh the elite want the world to themselves. While we're all dying off from disease and climate change, they'll just fuck off to their bunkers for a decade or so

I'm sick as a dog, but I remembered a super hot memory from an Ex of mine. I showed her Blade & Sorcery and showed her the binding spell on female fighters. Through pure autism I didn't realise that seeing me "tie up" a red headed woman like her in that game made her soaking wet as she kept telling me to get behind them, bind them up, hurt them, basically asking me to pin them and rape them.
Shame I wasn't the man I am now, FUCK I miss her and her crazy ginger pussy

>>33683707
I guess I'm curious to what extent they're being honest with themselves about this. Like I doubt there are closed door boardroom meetings where corporate elites are giving powerpoint presentations on how to kill off large swathes of the population. Even the most vile person has built-in empathy. I guess they just speak in justifications. Overpopulation is a serious issue, we have to set our populace on a new path for the sake of the future - that type of speak. Make yourself feel like the hero making the tough choices no one else could make.

>>33683729
>Even the most vile person has built-in empathy
Genuine psychopaths don't. I have the displeasure of knowing one such individual.

>>33683711
Ew she had syphilis

I'm going to forgive myself

I don't think you forgive yourself for something you have intentionally done while lucid. If your state of mind can be defined as lucid at all, guitarist.

The bad. My ears are currently knife world and so are the random sharp pains in my buddy, including my asshole.

The good? My asshole is not vibrating at the moment. Why is that such a focal point for them.

>>33683649
The discourse of antivax had been prevalent for some time before Covid because people knew that there were heavy metals and didn’t trust our government. Then David Icke began warning people that depopulation agendas were going to be fulfilled a few years before Covid. He told people that they were going to create a problem simply for the purpose of offering the “solution” which would have been rejected had the problem not been created. The “solution” being gene replacement therapy along with implementation of cybernetics inside bodies the population. Data is highly valued so linking people to the internet of things isn’t surprising. Karmic debt can be a concern among upper echelon manipulators of society so they likely figured that it was a good time to begin the process due to the fact that they could easier expect the majority of people to end up being warned about the danger of inviting detrimental compounds into their body from a government that they don’t trust so that they may keep others safe and even seek virtue or shame those who reject it even tho it never had potential to keep others safe, simply themselves which ended up being the opposite of the truth.

>>33681788
Whenever someone says it's the first time and makes a point to say that it's very clear it's a LARP. Youre setting up a narrative for someone to think something of you and to think badly of someone else. Using words like take it slow to promote yourself in some way and love bomb to make her think something badly about someone else. You're trying to warn someone else off of her because you feel like she's yours because you're dating right now. Too bad your larp is very clear

>>33682095
Good. Break up with her then and stop larping and same fagging to manipulate her

>>33683278
Cool nice story Colton

>>33684290
wasn't the whole anti vax thing some british guy that was paid to shit talk the mmr vaccine so the company could sell m, m, and r separately to boost profits, and his original paper was "combining vaccines causes autism" (to undermine mmr) rather than just "vaccines cause autism" (which would fuck over the company funding him)?

I don't want to be in this house anymore

>>33684422
Why anon?

Are ethots attainable? Despite their hyper sexual online image, I don't get the impression they date or even have much sex. I don't even think they have an 'offline' life. But maybe that's just cope?

I feel incredibly demoralized by their perfect image. I see a girl's instagram - her perfect smile, skin, hair - and then look at myself in the bathroom mirror and wonder how I can even get people to look at me. I know social media isn't real life, but fuck me if it isn't persuasive.

I wish I wasn't a broken weirdo that didn't know how to act around people. I'm regretting not offing myself when I planned to months ago.

I forgive myself. I love myself. I love forgiving myself. I'm going to keep forgiving myself forever.

>>33682793
I have so many friends you wouldnt believe my list if even the rapper drake told them to you

LOL @ the delusions of this retard.

Listening to Kraftwërk while at work feels ironic. But the question is: does taking 6 smoke breaks in less than 3 hours count as being a shitty worker? Asking for myself.

>>33684344
I don’t know anything about that

>>33683649
>What do they gain by creating a world where their worker bees are dying off?
Independent studies have indicated discoveries of graphene oxide within the vials as well as common food so if this is true then it would be creating a society where they could utilize 5g frequencies along with the graphene to eliminate whoever they choose very easily without being held accountable as it would be disguised as a heart attack.

I'm married. Wife was asleep, I decided to jerk off. I got horny and decided to go to an omegle-like site and chat to people. I kept refreshing conversation until I matched with a woman. We both said hi, stated age and gender, relationship status. She said she liked that I was older and married. I asked her what she's into, she mentioned CNC, infidelity, domination. I said impregnation, she said that was hot. She asked me to give her instructions, I didn't and just quit the chat. The whole time I was jerking off though. Another chat was similar and the woman even asked if I was jerking off, I just said "guess" to avoid saying anything explicit, but I was enjoying that she said something explicit. I also left that chat early.

The guilt is putting me on the verge of a panic attack. I just wanted to go to the edge of cheating pool and look in, I feel like with listing kinks and the overall context, that I went to far, and actually went in. I feel sick. I can't bear to think how upset my wife would be if she knew. I feel like our marriage is now based on a lie, and I can never undo this.

>>33684649
Bot post.

>>33684649
If you would get upset at your wife; then yes, it is cheating. End of story.

I’m obsessed with cyber stalking my ex because I still want to fuck him instead of moving on.

Don't care if it's a schizo post, I'm making it. I wanna vent it.
You could have posted nothing you fucking idiot.
You could have said nothing. You knew people were being doxxed.
You had to say something. Dumbest part is I have no clue what it is you said but I honestly doubt it was something "milquetoast". I seen how you post in the past part of the year. The militancy. The anger. I know damn well you didn't just "reshare" something.

The only grace I have now is that I wasn't the one who reported you....but I least know that among all those big lists of friends you have? 100 people? Maybe more? Most of them mutuals? Someone else disagreed with you on this too. They just did it in the worst way possible.

Wanting to be owned by somebody you don't even have ever privately talked with is absolutely pathetic. That's why I laugh at you. It's not that you you can't change, you don't want to, and that's why I don't want to be "fixed" by you. So I'll laugh at you, and laugh hard too.

>>33684638
But assuming that's the case, wouldn't the ruling class be uber pro-vax? Instead (at least in the US) they seem to be aggresively anti-vax.

>>33673507
>be me, 24

I still miss my sociopathic boyfriend from high school. I miss how he made me feel, genuinely unapologetically wanted. Even as a toy, like how he treated me, at least I felt useful and desired. Nowadays I am not entirely sure even my closest friends actually like who I am or are tolerating me in hopes that I turn into something more worthy of their time, eventually. I think people are fucking bored by me and tired of hearing me speak. Annoyed by me, seemingly, at every turn, and I do actually feel so FUCKING stupid about the whole thing.

I feel like as much as my fiancé loves me, she grows tired of my mental illnesses affecting my life and is sick of seeing me fail at things.

I miss what hope felt like. I had it very, very briefly and it was addictive. I went into every day believing I could improve my life and just up and change everything, like I had a real opportunity. Now, I go day by day applying to jobs on Indeed and training on some life insurance sales course bullshit.

Even after getting my accident, health, and life insurance license for my state, and even with what I can do in a given day, even with losing weight (about 80 pounds since a little over a year ago), I still feel like I'm never quite doing enough and I feel like shit for enjoying my hobbies. It's stupid. My life is a bad joke and I'm the fuckin punchline dawg.

Most days, even though I will never fucking do it because it's weak ass faggot shit, I feel like blowing my head smoove off. I feel like it'd be peaceful to be gone. No tomorrow. No feeling weak, no feeling like I'm unwanted.

Half the time or more, my feelings of being weak or unwanted are wholly unwarranted. That's the real bitch of it. I have a fiance and several friends. better than most of you fuckin retards. I have held down jobs before. I know I'm not FULLY retarded.

But it's just enough, all things considered, for me to hate myself more than anything else in the world. I despise being me.

Awful workout today. I actually had to lower the weights on some exercises. Shit man.

I would never tell them, but the only reason I haven't killed myself is that it would ruin my mom and brother's lives. Sometimes I wish I could just be erased from their memory so I can get rid of myself guilt free.

>>33684749
Live, anta no baka. Use your brain, you can get exactly what you want if you were to change one thing about yourself. Do it for yourself and nobody else. I think those are almost the same words you once wrote me.

>>33683729
>any corporate person (with greater influence over others) being honest with anyone, even themselves
>any possibility this could happen

It's never been the case, it'll never be the case, being a corpo at all and climbing the ladder in any meaningful way to attain the kind of power they have, requires that they sacrifice most of their personality... If they even had a mildly interesting or multi-faceted personality to begin with.

Sacrificing their personality, their morality, anything of any worth (imho), is even required of people who start from an old money background. Even those spoiled idiots have to lay down whatever decent human traits they had, to enter true corporatized influence in the world. Power comes at a price of the self, always. They're incapable of being honest with themselves because it's the barrier to entry into true power. The gap between the average citizen and the actual elite... (they don't care whether they're Jewish or not, yet again they leave that behind along with their other traits) ... is so vast, that the conversations we're thinking they may be having with themselves and others regarding morality were never even considered a viable thing to say. They probably have it so mentally and physically ingrained to be robotic and cold towards the world at large, that the prospect of telling the people they "love" or mildly care for, about what they *actually* do, is also discarded.

The true blackpill of analyzing corporate America and geo-politics is that the average person is a fucking complete and utter imbecile compared to even the top twenty percent of the global population, in terms of intelligence and neuro-plasticity. There are people walking around today that think there are nanobots in vaccines, that trans people are all secret misanthropes, that black people are born with sub-human IQ potential or inactive frontal lobes, all manner of retarded bullshit. Those people are capable of obtaining corporate power.

>>33684801
"Garden path" sentence? How cute.

>>33684829
Bitch, I'm adorable. That's why I fucked your dad.

>>33684649
>marriage is now based on a lie, and I can never undo this

I am severely depressed and have only myself to blame. Wish I could talk to my therapist about the root cause.

>>33684668
How does your boyfriend feel about you wanting to fuck your ex? Does your ex know you cyberstalk him?

>>33684688
The worst is feeling trapped. Felt like even if I walked outside how long would I have to walk until I actually reached somewhere I wanted to be.

>>33683278
You're the kind of person I hate the most: Liar.

>>33684923
You'd think you look past my lies because you live in my home. I gave you a roof

>>33684555
No one believes you and worse, no one cares.

>>33684681
If the ruling class was anti vax then laws requiring federal employees, health workers, military personnel and large employers to be vaccinated would not have been implemented.

>>33684833
As if lmao.

i was at a military dining facility, and for celebration, i dont know if it was the people who make policy that were there, or their families. but holy fuck they were so soft and arrogant. one bumped into a service member, then proceeded to bump into him again. didnt even say excuse me. literally expected him to just move aside instantly.

that seriously pissed me off. now i understand what the communists are getting at. i understand that the vast majority of millionaires in america are self made, but when you have guys who never work a day in their life and are just born into wealth, didn't achieve it themself, you have... guys like that.

I personally like my new ruleset: don't flirt with anybody in 4chan if you're not in direct contact with them.
Keep interactions polite - with one caveat: if they try pissing me off, laugh at them.

>>33684801
It's interesting because, in a world that isn't in hell, the idea of sacrificing self for office seems like a noble one to me. But of course, in the world we live in, these people aren't sacrificing their personality for any ideal. They're doing it out of a blind impulse to see the line go up, the number get bigger.

ok
this me telling you this
you are only male that has ever had to use a motorized wheel chair
you do not suffer from nerve degeneration
does that make
thanks
ZE VOICES TRJ FORCE YOU VIEW ZE SCENES
you are not actually because of ************ hearing ZE VOICES currently ZE VOICES ARE TRJ INDEFINITELY HARASS you at this stage of things
you have a vacoder on
if we turn the vacoder off you will notice something
does that make sense
thanks
the thing about that you are only male that has ever had to use a motorized wheelchair was because you are queen bug
even in human form you had to do that and for long durations of time
IT DOES NOT ZE LAUGH ABOUT THAT
is a bulblax still reminding you over and over about vacoder
good

>>33685143
Lay off the paranormal shit please, it's not having a good effect on you.

>>33685036
>What to say to isolate someone away from everyone else 101

>>33685185
Well yes: in the past flirting with girls from here got me in contact with them like three or four times.
One I wasn't expecting, she reached out herself. I blew it. I regret that immensely and I'll never forgive myself for it.
Another one gave me her contact and it wasn't who I was thinking of. It fizzled, too bad.
The last one... May or may not have been who I was initially chasing. I fucked up again.
I know how the rules work now, I did for a while actually. Now it's only a matter of abiding to said rules.

Every time I begin wanting nothing to do with anybody and to be alone I wonder if it will last forever and I don’t know why it doesn’t.

Okay, I have a bit of a slump to get through then my real life begins.

I’m not allowed to be useful for anything because nobody fucking likes me. My life is absolutely limited because I have zero skills or opportunity. What is the point?

I’m quite competent and capable of doing everything I apply for but I’m not allowed.

Petty as fuck

>>33685284
If you start getting control over your life these feelings will become lesser over time but like study philosophy and religion and stuff too.

All the remains of a cadaver of days
I keep hidden away, keep them there just in case
I wanna visit that place
Blow the dust from the bones
Off a body of years that I leave all alone
Just a body of years
See the skin disappears
And the blood turns to stone
In a body of years now a pile of bones
Like a sheet of veneer
Each a piece of my soul
It's a body of years that I leave all alone

Get my foot in the door
And my face on the page
Make my mark in the world
With a bat and a blade
It's a body of work that you can't ever change
Like a body of years that you take to your grave
It's just a body of years that I leave all alone
It's just a body of years, now a pile of bones

>>33685202
That's why I always lock the door so there is no where to go. They need to feel obligated to stay here with me, whether that is by physically limiting them or by giving them a status with me they can't easily shirk. Works every time.

>>33685306
>getting control over your life
Wdym?

>>33685324
Damn you sure are a paragon of virtue. How many kids have you molested so far?

Whats it called when you remember something bad that wasnt traumatic in the moment but you still get nervous and upset

I don’t understand how I wouldn’t be in control of my own life. If I’m not then who is? Just because people refuse to hire me doesn’t mean I’m not in control of my life. I can’t control whether I get hired or not. I need a job so I can make my life better. My life which I have control of…

>>33685346
I'm engaged to one as long as I can keep controlling her

>>33685378
Sound claustrophobic

>>33685426
See, at least you're being honest now for once in your life, guitarist. What is it that you desire?

I don’t want to feel this way and I can control that by drinking alcohol if I choose to because I am in control. I’m choosing to abstain today because I want to feel less lethargic and sick and make progress at the gym. I’m thinking that improving my mood with alcohol is more important than being healthy. I can control whether I want to sacrifice my health to improve my mood or not. Fuck my health. Why bother preserving or improving it if I’m not allowed to be anything except a loser?

Where is saviour, the one who knows what I've seen?
Where is he hiding, will he know where I've been?
I still search for you, lost in time
I wish you protected me, I wish you were mine

if you guys were going to do somethign to help this would be the fucking time

miss you. wish you'd talk to me.

>>33685559
A foid from /r9k/ used to have this attitude with me.
I already expressed my thoughts on the matter in >>33685036. If your post is not for me I suggest you directly to to whoever you want to talk to.

>>33685618
*I suggest you talk directly to

I also drink because I’m addicted to alcohol.

>>33685756
I like to drink because of the taste and the effect, I never really got addicted to alcohol.

Fine. I love you too. I hope you're happy.

>>33686037
I miss him so much and I'm nervous to talk to him again. I haven't seen him in a long time

>>33686050
I haven't spoken with her in a long time too. She practiced the occult, probably still does. More than once I felt her presence even if she wasn't there, many times I felt I could hear her thoughts. I was sober and back then I didn't particularly believe in the paranormal, and yet...

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I miss the late 2000s/early 2010s internet. The pre-Gamergate/Trump era. Yeah, people would say this is when the internet started going downhill, and they're not wrong, but this era still has personal significance for me.
I want to freely post my honest opinions about things again. I want to be free to be myself, and not get wrapped up in stupid divisive culture war bullshit.
I also miss how much better torrent sites used to be back then.

>>33673507
>ruins the panel
oooh oh ohh

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>Work in IT
>Back to being basic fucking helpdesk because I need a job and don't want to move
>One of the system analysts leaves me some work one day, they just need an old program uninstalled on some computers but it leaves a bunch of registry files and breaks user profiles when removed
>Hands me detailed instructions
>The instructions don't actually work
>They tried to use a remote tool to remove the program before, so now it's stuck in a halfway state where it's blocking installation of something else but isn't actually installed in the traditional sense
>Decide fuck it, just use the instructions they gave me since it appears to work

>Get a call next day saying it's still there
>They give me a patronizing "I know it's hard to remove, but just follow the instructions I gave you again and it should work."
>Instructions were linked from a shared drive and the file was updated with additional instructions, get told they were always there after I ask
>Took a picture of the old instructions with my phone, so I send that back to them
>Point out the "date modified" was set to be a few hours ago
>Show there was a previous version identical to my phone pic that our backup versioning software caught
>Get told it doesn't matter, just use the instructions this time

>New instructions don't work either
>Dig around online and find out from other people that this is a semi-common issue, do x, y, and z to fix it
>Automate the process with a powershell script, works perfectly
>Deploy the powershell script on a few more computers for testing, no problems
>Log the script on our server with my name on it, explain to the sysadmin this is what the script does, it does it silently, so you don't have to physically go to computers and kick people off to do it, just ask them to restart when they finish their shift
>Schedule task for the next 200 computers to have it run over the course of a few days
>Script breaks because sysadmin took the script from my folder and put it in theirs

>>33686337
>Get told my script doesn't work
>Manually run the script and it works fine
>"But it didn't run at 3 AM when you said it would!"
>Tell them why, and put it back in my folder
>It runs fine overnight
>Next night it's back in sysadmin's folder and logically breaks

These are the people making twice what I do who can't even execute simple tasks, and no one even cares.

>>33686279
>people would say this is when the internet started going downhill
desu it's when everything started going downhill

>>33686078
What I said has nothing to do with you

I feel suffocated in this house with him. I don't want to live here anymore. I never did.

>>33686439
Good.

>>33675571
hire a coder, collab with a coder, or use AI coding. there's no real excuse

>>33677625
i think this has always been the case, that people are boring and they themselves have to just settle with other boring people. i don't think any of these people on dating apps are ever content with their love lives. see when they're so shitty themselves, i doubt that they'd find anyone better. i don't envy them.
i'm starting to lose hope that i'll ever find anything truly meaningful. and if i happened to, i'd be afraid to lose it, so would it even be worth it i wonder?
when 99% of people live such shitty lives (think of all the thirdworlders) where they don't even have the luxury to even grasp something beyond pure survival, i try to count my blessings.

>>33678393
one of these days you'll realise that if you respect your reasons for doing what you do, it's not you who will be ashamed but others for their lack of it.
if they ever ask you why this and why that, and you can give them an infallible argument and still not even understand, then they are stupid and you don't have to have any respect for them.

I'm having manic episode. The only difference In feel from my baseline is that I can't sleep. I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing but I would like to get at least three hours of sleep.

>>33686673
Take some benedryl. 2 tabs should do it. I hope you feel better.

>>33686686
I'd consider it if I had some. But the thing is, I really don't feel any different from what I'm like when I'm normal save for the fact that I feel more awake.
And thanks Mike, I appreciate it.

I was in a doctors waiting room today, the doc was more than half an hour behind so I was waiting a while. A dude walks in with his kid for some special appointment, probabably between like 5 and 8 years old, completely non-verbal autistic or something. Only made awful shrieking and growling noises like a wounded animal. They were headed for a doorway when the kid homed in on something to the side and wouldn't go any further. The dad was there for probably 15 minutes
>come on, this way, quick!
>we go this way and sit down, quick!
>com on
>doctor now, yummy later, come on!
>quick!
>this way, lets go!
>quick, in there, sit down!
>lets go, ready?
>come on, see doctor now!

It went on for so so long, the only response he got from the child were shrieks and wails, grunting and groaning while it shook one of the chairs up and down thumping it on the floor.

All I could think was how the fuck have you not necked yourself and/or the child by now, like, fuck man. This is his life, until the day he dies, trying to reason with a creature that has next to no sentience let alone reasoning. Knowing if he ever loses his cool or tries to force the kid to do/not do something, he could end up with a black eye or a broken limb when the kid is older.

In that moment I realized how easy my life must look in comparison.

>>33686699
Actually... He said tabs, not tablet. Funny, one time I had LSD during a manic episode and the results were me going on a rampage on /r9k/, traumatizing a lot of people and pissing off all the people that I should have not have had. Benadryl is even worse than LSD when it comes to that.

Nice try Mike.

>>33683254
Thank you anon.
Yea I now see and understand she is super manipulative. She was always heavy on physical touch with me, like hitting or grabbing my arm when we laughed but now that I know she had a bf and actively ignore her she tries to hold my hands or acts like a child to get my attention at work.
I don't believe her for a second. She just wants to have control of me and misses the dopamine of my attention.
Just a few weeks ago she was telling me about going to see the movie Weapons on a Saturday night and I thought to myself "Late night, weekend horror movie? This sound like she's going on a date." This was before I saw the bf so if you think about it she was bragging to my face about her date while flirting with me. Disrespectful. Also a coworker just told me a few days ago that she has bragged about being desirable. Its an attention and ego thing for her I guess.
Its funny. I wanted to get to know her better and I guess I did just that.
Nothing of value was lost.

One thing I have to say though is she will never find another real man like me and will probably compare me to every bf she ever has in life. I predict many hard years of relationship problems and divorces in her future. The crazy thing is I don't wish that on her and I could never do the awful things she did to me to anyone else. It is what it is.

Thank you anon have a nice day

>>33684301
Here is my 3rd post on /adv/ ever.
I'm using it to advise you you have
Schizophrenia and shouldn't post in the advice board if you have no advice to offer.

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>>33686823
Your story is similar to mine except I knew her for less than a month when I asked her out, after bailing on me she asked me out herself, there was no boyfriend involvend, I missed all the signs like me slapping my arm during my date, and most importantly I told her not to look for me again after she quit work, because I know she was fucking two more people at work. She texted me out of the blue and was manipulative right off the bat so I throughly talked shit about her behind her back.
I told her that I had no time to waste with her via text.
I try mending things a few weeks later... I pretend I just imagined things. I ask her when her day off is and I gauge her interest. I lovebomb her thanks to inexperience plus autism. When her day off comes, she says she is busy all day so I basically stop talking with her.
She starts an 'everyone but you' club with my colleagues, I ask each and every single one of them to greet her for me. She does other shitty things too.

So I make a whatsapp status update that only she could see that is just picrelated, and I actively suppress all of the emotions I feel about her. Be then longing, sadness, happiness, hunger. Not my problem.

Also, your post has some specific wording I used a lot while texting her, and I find it very funny.

>>33686859
....the specific wording being "action, not words", which is something I say sometimes and comes off because that's a literal translation from a language that is not english, and "real man", what the meanest of my colleagues told me I am after I apologized to him for having started an argument that could have devolved into a fist fight there is no way I could have won.

Mh. What a ((((((mere coincidence)))))).

>>33686871
*comes off as weird
Proofreading is for faggots.

I've been rejected so many times!!!! but every now n then I get lucky

Anyways

>>33686966
Fortunate fellow

The best thing is that empty headed woman was posting songs about longing in her whatsapp status updates, as if she meant any of them and as if I couldn't tell she was in it, again, solely for boosting her ego. I bet if I told her "oh btw I am a virgin" she would have acted very differently. I will give you a protip: if you want to manipulate people, don't half ass it, you moron. Hopefully I never see you ever again.

Oh and this other protip is free: my birthday is not on the 18th, if you wanted to do maximum emotional damage you should have gotten fucked by that faggot from /r9k/ the right day, which also shows how much you cared. I do remember your birthday however, because I used to care, until I found out you didn't give a shit that is.

the urge to be randomly lifted and having a panic attack from vertigo

Time to move on.

>>33686859
Walk away anon.
She is not worth it.
She is no good for you.
She doesn't even like herself.
Walking away is the only way to leave her alone with her choices. Do what I did and walk away for good.

Love yourself. Show her how much you love yourself by cutting her cancer out. When I found out she had a boyfriend the whole time I broke my own heart so she couldn't. I picked up the pieces and marched forward. She's almost in the past now. When I'm ready I will find someone better than her.

>>33687068
I already did, and I hope you are aware of the fact I realize your story sounds extremely similar to mine just with a few changed details. It's a manipulation technique that requires a little bit more effort than usual, and still doesn't work if you use it on someone that isn't a literal 89iq mentally challenged individual.

I will also remind you that you said it yourself in /r9k/ you don't even like her that much. You can keep her, she doesn't look too bad for being 48... save for her flabby arse and tits that I bet are absolute saggers. When she's stressed and dehidrated her wrinkles also really start showing up. This tells me more about me than her, I must have been absolutely desperate when I was still suffering over her.

Took some meds that, as a side effect, affected my sexual preferences (only while on it).

It made me like more violent and degrading porn.
Made me want to see women violently (gang-)raped. It made me want to humiliate men and make them cucks, making me like NTR porn.
Women getting punched, stepped on, used as toilets, bound, crying, raped by disgusting ugly men... all the fucked up stuff.
The ones I liked the most were POV oral rape. I liked the ones where they were crying, but those weren't my favorites. My favorites were the ones where the women were brimming with rage and staring directly into my eyes.
Like the moment they would be free, they would try to kill me in the most painful way possible.

All my life I avoided this type of porn, not because I object to it, but simply because I wasn't interested in it.
When I took those meds, it's like an entire ocean of new porn opened up to me that I never touched before.
This culminated in me having jerk off session the likes of which I haven't had in years.

Once I came down from those meds, I realized how fucked up all this was. (that was the last time I took those meds)
Is this what those types of men who like this kind of porn feel?
I never believed anyone who said porn was harmful, until this.
I thought "no way what they say is true, those are just prudes making shit up, just like when they say jerking off makes you blind".
But most of all I didn't believe it because those effects never happened to me. Most of what I consumed was tamer or soft core.
Yeah, I've always had some nasty fetishes, but those didn't affect how I think of women and sex in any way.
When I ACTUALLY had sex, I was always gentle with my partners.

I still don't think porn is INHERENTLY harmful, but now I DO believe that CERTAIN kinds of porn are harmful to certain kinds of people, and those are kinds of porn that get pushed the most, sadly.

>>33687082
You got the wrong guy.
Its almost like more than one woman (read:women) will play with men for attention or something.
Good luck with your problems.

i miss your smile so much.

>>33687131
Whatever you say, I don't believe you. Especially because you use exactly some the same lingo I use that sounds very odd in english. I wouldn't be surprised if the story was written by the old tart herself.
And my problems are none of your concern. Good luck with developing empathy, maybe you'll get it one day.

Knowing someone for two months shouldn't destroy your emotional state like this what the fuck is wrong with me

Bruh, be a manager for people that cant maintain healthy work life balance and boundaries.
It's so frustrating because they're in a new relationship they have to walk off and be on their phone at all times during their shift.

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I keep romanticising the idea of having less hobbies. I want to have less fun, or at least stop feeling like I'm committed to things that by definition are non-committal. I want my brain to stop being that annoying kid that keeps talking about trivia 24/7. Even as I was typing this post my brain was thinking about movie directors. What a fundamentally fucked up first world problem. I can't even touch grass, my brain just keeps going. It's almost impressive.

I'm legit worried by how much influence I have on some people I see online I barely if ever interact with. I wonder what would happen if I were to channel that energy on improving myself.

>>33687140
Mental illness.
You are single for a reason and it has everything to do with you.

>>33687140
The fact you think your broken English is anything but a pantomime of a language and is in any way comparable to my language is embarrassing and reveals how delusional you are schizo poster.

>>33687598
>>33687603
>and then the kikes screamed "we've been found out"

>>33687598
>You are single for a reason and it has everything to do with you
That is true

>>33686749
It's incredible how strong a parent's love can be. A lot of parents are shit, but it sounds like this kid lucked out.
>This is his life, until the day he dies, trying to reason with a creature that has next to no sentience let alone reasoning
This kid's probably a lot more sentient than you think. Odds are you'd be acting like that too if you were non-verbal and had severe sensory issues. But, you're probably neurotypical so you wouldn't get it.

If i can't do anything right then ill just do everything wrong.

Since there's nothing good to do I'll just do something bad!

Tonight I'll make an effort into spending more time reading than staying here and bullying people.

>>33686699
you are welcome. Benedryl helps sedate and will calm your anxious mind. I hope you feel better

>>33673507
Grateful to be out of the toxic environment I was living in & to have a new start to a career.

I’m still getting pulses of frustration. I can’t seem to fit in, nor talk to people. I can’t seem to properly articulate my emotions in a tact manner. I haven’t felt fully in privacy and I still have to deal with the toxicity of my family members. I hate it and I hate missing sleep because of the culture shock of being in a big city with people at different times doing things. I hate my bucking destitute credit score and the fact that I may not be able to rent on my own or have any loans for a while is so frustrating. I hate my bucking insurance company that l called to have access to my account and they bull-dropped me and I get way too upset to wait in a call and deal with BS.

It’s only been 3 weeks here and I really want to be able to feel bucking happy, but I haven’t had the chance. I barely feel content at work and I do my best to have a fun and productive shift every day, but the lack of sleep and the fucking remnant toxicity that just won’t go away is killing me.

I just had a bucking long exhaustive emotional release just laying in bed and letting it out. I bucking hate having to suck it up to not look weird or weak, but I need help.

Can’t even get an exercise routine going because I’m too much of a whimp and I have no proper privacy / non-caring attitude to just start working out where I stay.

I’m being charged double under an app, yet the same place is listed for half the price per month. I’m needing to move out, but I have to suck it up until the end of this month because “it’s a loss”.

I’m so bucking frustrated I had the same emotions back when I was in my hometown, but this time it felt less massive. I still have a job and a place and now, soon, the power to buy what I need.

I need help. Someone to talk to, someone to share that I’m not a stuck-up cactus, and that I just want to be happy like anybody else.

>>33674853
... Mason?

>>33688908
I'm open to talk and even just chill with if you don't want to say anything but just need someone there with you.

FromSunToMoon