Kind of blindsided right now, and I had no idea this was coming. He sat me down, and told me in no uncertain terms that four years ago he added someone he had spoken to briefly on the dating app that we had met on on Snapchat after seeing her in his recommendeds. They proceeded to talk, and send nudes. Later that same day he cut things off with her, and blocked her. He claims to have not done anything like that since, or before. He has said that he regrets not only the infidelity, but keeping it from me for four years and in doing so lying by omission. He has called his decision to cheat disgusting and awful. He's also said he's willing to do anything to keep our relationship together, and has offered to be a complete open book about everything, and came to the table offering me full access to all of his devices and accounts going forward, as well as anything else I can think of. He has also acknowledged that I've been hurt terribly, and that it's my decision on whether to walk away or not, and that he completely gets that I might have to. In all of this he's repeated that he's so sorry for hurting me, and taken full responsibility for everything that he's done.The reason he's coming forward now is because we're planning on moving in together, and have talked about marriage. He acknowledges that he should have come forward a long time ago, but was a coward about it (his words not mine). Basically it's been gnawing at him for a long time, and (again his words) that it would be an even greater disservice to me to go any further in the relationship without full disclosure.He's remorseful, he's contrite, and I don't think I ever would have learned about this if he didn't come forward. I don't know. Has anyone come back from something like this? And can anyone think of anything more to be done?
>>33697400>>33697400It's a risk, but he admitted his stuff. You choose what kind of person. You want to be, to him and to others. He'll carry a burden whatever your decision is. Think of it in simple terms, do you like spending time with him? If yes stay, if no leave. Will you miss him? If yes, stay, if no leave.I've had several relationships before and I as cheesy as it may sound my heart is pretty much shattered, the most painful one is not the one that lasted the longest or the one I had more sex in nor the one with the model type partner. It's the one I left even if she went with another guy and came back.I am giving myself one last chance to get with someone I like. If it doesn't work, there won't be much left of me anyways and I won't be able to pick myself up again.
>>33697517So you regret leaving the one who came back after leaving?
>>33697400NGL if I had this kind of confession from a girl it'd be a dealbreaker. And I say this as someone who has cheated in the past, like hard cheating, fucking other women while in a relationship cheating.I confessed, lost my girl, learned my lesson, and now if God ever gives me a chance to find someone else I will never cheat and will have zero tolerance for cheating.It's up to you. Nudes is definitely a line. Some spur of the moment sexting might be forgiven, but getting naked in front of someone else pretty much means you're DTF if the circumstances came up.
>>33697746Yup, my life went to shit afterwards.
>>33697517>It's the one I leftMy biggest regret in most relationships was not leaving sooner. Sorry it's the opposite case for you.
>>33697821Depends what you want for yourself. I don't want to end up alone nor play with opposites, I want a relationship that lasts, in which me and my partner can look in the same direction and build something together.I am no longer a teenager, and if I can't get that, there won't be anyone to catch my fall. It's make or break, living a life within which you can't get to what you hold dear isn't worth living.I
>>33697400Once a cheater, always a cheater. It's like when people try sex with their same sexes. They can never, ever, ever be straight again. It can't be undone. So you either have to accept it, green light his actions basically by doing that and always have this nag you forever...or tell him, I'm going to fuck someone else and then we'll be even. Then we can maybe patch things up but maybe not. Personally, I'd break up with him and just say, you had your one and only chance with me and you're just not worth forgiving.
>>33697400I think that there is more good to this than bad. Consider, your boyfriend has the ability to experience guilt, whereas there have been many other cheaters which have not. If he is being honest, then in all of the time you've been together, he has only done that four years ago, and not even physical contact, just nudes as you said. In addition, he decided to tell you all of this before you both get married and move in together, a much better decisions than if he would have told you all of this after those big milestones. Lastly, he has volunteered access to all of his devices for you to prove that he isn't doing anything malicious anymore, not just having you take his word for it! This is one of those moments where, if a girlfriend did this all for me, I'd let it slide, because it shows she would be remorseful, that she has changed, especially signified by the, again, four whole years since that incident. However, I think to let a thing like this slide, it involves a certain outlook on the part of yourself as well, because in my case I believe everybody has or will get urges where they have to enact their self control to keep a clean conscious, and while your boyfriend didn't do that in the beginning of that Snapchat conversation, he didn't let it get physical in real life, which is quite a feat when already slipping into vice versus before taking the plunge.
>>33698237What the fuck are you talking about? The guy didn't fuck anyone.
>>33697400If the two of you have been together for six years and are only now thinking about moving in together, you have no future, even in the absence of cheating.
>>33697400Let it go. Forgive him, allow him to redress and redeem himself. You've probably cheated on him too, if not sexually, mentally or emotionally.
>>33698518It's been complicated, I've needed to take care of my parents for a long while.>>33698531I've never cheated on him in any way, shape, or form before.
>>33697400Kill him in his sleep
>>33697400leave him, sounds like a loser
>>33697400I’d take him up on the whole access to his devices thing and see if anything comes up within the next few weeks . If nothing then cool and just keep moving forward .Also your bf commented on whether or not to tell you , here earlier this week . Most of us told him not to tell you because it’s been so long and he hasn’t done anything wrong since .
>>33697400call him a whore, nona. Make him feel shame. Do not accept his pardon. He is a whoremen notice when you are sad men are not stupid, men are just beasts men only become civilized after having children, their only purpose is fatherhood
>>33697757This dude retarded
Gtfo lady
>>33699408>and see if anything comes up within the next few weeksobviously nothing will come up if he knows you have access to his accounts
>>33703698Still, it's odd he's confessed after all this time no? Must have really been bothering him.
>>33699776As opposed to your 160 IQ input?
