It's "normal" in the sense of there are for sure bitches like this but not "normal" in the sense of she's just telling you how it is for most people or everyone. My wife and I are a decade older than you two, roughly. We throw parties and go to them. They don't look like the house parties we went to in college but we still see large groups of friends and acquaintances and get pleasantly fucked up with them. We kiss a lot as a routine way of showing love and intimacy outside the context of sex. She dresses sexy for me all the time, and often let's me know she's feeling horny by throwing on some lingerie and interrupting whatever I'm doing. Some weeks we don't have sex — our jobs get busy, one or both of us have work travel, she has her period and doesn't feel sexy. Other weeks we have sex every day. Usually it's somewhere in between. It's certainly not only after big date nights, though that's a fun way to build anticipation and spend time flirting. We experiment: positions, link, tantra, whatever. Generally if the other is into it, we'll at least try it and see if it's fun.

She only goes down on me during foreplay (like most men I love blowjobs, she has a strong retching response to semen in her mouth that just makes it very unsexy for her, we talked about it like adults and compromise) and car sex is a pain in the ass lol, so at least that much is consistent with what your gf is saying.

Anyways, couples are really different about all this stuff but it's ok to want what you want sexually and you shouldn't let somebody make you feel bad for what are very normal sexual desires.

And that's why people should marry before having sex.

>no spontaneous sex
>no riding
>no making out
Sounds awful anon, using "maturity" as an excuse is bullshit and makes her seem immature.

Has to be bait
What 27 year old girl would act too old for that

>>33701731
>She told me relationships aren't like Disney movies and I have a lot of maturing to do.

The fact that she dismissed your wants/needs like that rub me the wrong way. She has maturing to do herself.

No dude, you're not being childish, you guys just need to have an honest conversation about what you guys want in intimacy, if compromise can be had and what to do if not. She can feel how she wants and have her level of intimacy but that's not 'normal' per se.

Maybe it's health related too? Hormones, sleep, other life factors. But desu it sounds like you're not getting any affirmation which is what we all want on some level.

"Hey, I'm not feeling seen/heard because xyz, I get that you feel x about y but I think it's important if we're going to be in a legit relationship to have real communication blah blah"

something like that. and if she doesn't want to even try to understand or put in effort to making you feel seen then you may be better off ser. Me and my wife do unspeakable things to each other and set aside time just to talk about freaky shit we like and what we feal comfy with etc.

>>33701731
Break up

>>33701731
OP, you make me want to cry. It's porn, you've got to grow up, you're not a little kid anymore, you hear me? You've got to grow up.

>>33702435
> It's porn, you've got to grow up, you're not a little kid anymore, you hear me?
I feel bad for people that have never had wild, porn-esque sex. You must be so miserable and your partners must have been so fucking boring (pun intended lol_.

>>33701731
She isn't actually strongly attracted to you. She feels like she has a husband finally locked down and is doing the bare minimum to keep your attention and loyalty.
Getting older doesn't necessarily mean getting less horny. In a good relationship, both partners should feel strongly attracted and desirous of each other enough to be giving as lovers. Plenty of people have sexy fun years or decades into their relationships, look at this guy and his wife >>33701826
I mean fuck, I had a short relationship with a 35 year old woman earlier this year who had a few ex boyfriends, and she still let me do things like cum down her throat and she put on lingerie for me and would give me naked oil massages.

Anyway, my advice is to start looking for a new woman. Don't even give this hoe the courtesy of ditching her first, just go find a girl that will blow you and put on sexy clothes for you and once you've done that tell this bitch bye bye. Everything she refuses to do for you, she's done with some guy she was more attracted to. Let her run back to one of those guys.

>>33701731
please god never let this be me

>>33701731
Your woman fucking sucks, I thought kissing or hugging at least once a day at the bare minimum. Less if they have a job but it just sounds like her libido is fucked and uses maturity as an excuse to mask it up. It’s not a Disney movie to show basic affection for a person you love. She is retarded.

>>33701731
Been there too.
This woman doesn't like you anon. She settles for you.
The compliment thing is the clearest indicator.
She'll probably drop you the moment she finds something better.
Don't get attached, keep looking for new opportunities

>>33702900
>>33702955
This. The redpill space has this notion that women will enthusiastically fuck men they are attracted to, but it's not even that simple. Sometimes it's just them and their confidence issues. It's possible she actually thinks she's being mature and setting boundaries, but women just don't see sex as that important, and even Chad ends up getting frustrated once the honeymoon phase wears off. They just use sex to keep what you give them. They don't want it like we do. Get a sidepiece

>>33701731
>Am I just being childish?
Yes and no. It is reasonable and common to enjoy some of these things. It is also common not to. It is extremely childish to think you're *entitled* to any of this if the other person doesn't enjoy it. If all of this bothers you, you are perfectly entitled to break up with her and date someone else instead. You are not entitled to pressure your current gf into doing any of it if she doesn't want to.

>>33701731
Ditch that bitch. You're incompatible.

>>33703075
>it's childish to think you're entitled to any of this if the other person doesn't enjoy it
When you're in a relationship you'll do things for your partner to please them, even if these things don't please you. Imagine being so much of a cunt to think that someone is childish if he expects the slightest bit of intimacy, like compliments or kisses. I'm sorry for the poor dude who has to tolerate you.

>>33701731
she's a cunt. consider her a practice gf.
keep her around while you look for the next one.
ideally it should be a lot easier than getting your first now that you have experience and preselection

>>33703075
True… but it’s less about entitlement and more about what he wants from the relationship. I bet like most people he wants to be loved and cared for but she’s not doing any of it. If a girl did this to me I would pressure her by breaking up, what other “pressure” were you thinking of? Him “verbally abusing” her to hug him? At that point it’s not a relationship and I think OP would know that. I feel like you’ve been abused by the way you typed this out.

>>33703028
You know very little about women. In fact, just about the only reasonable thing you said was
>get a side piece

It's kinda normal, but much better relationships were a women will do these things are also normal.
You probably can't do better than her, be happy with what you have

>>33701731
this is normal for some people but not for everyone. If this is what you want anon then you should find someone who is willing to match what you desire. Maybe go a little younger or just find a girl thats a little more affectionate and outgoing

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>>33701731
I won't read yet another is this normal thread.

>>33701731
so she has a lot of boundaries but she is qualifying them based on your (lack of) experience. she is dictating the direction of the relationship, that's supposed to be a partnership, without letting you have any input.
to me it seems like she is trying to mold you based on her own tastes without regard to what you want.

i would have a serious discussion about this with her and if you don't see change in at least the affection part, just pump and dump.

Everything is normal for a normie except
>doesn't kiss or make out with me because that's what teens do
She isn't attracted to you. Women despise kissing men they're not attracted to, even most prostitutes don't kiss their clients even if paid well. If these sexual things are so important to you then find a bpd whore, things like car sex is just corn brainrot, the rest not many girls do despite what corn shows. Or just be rich and you'll find a instagram girl willing to degrade herself with bj's and have enough confidence to prance around in lingerie for you.

>>33703137
>When you're in a relationship you'll do things for your partner to please them, even if these things don't please you.
Wrong.

People do things to please their partner *because* the action of pleasing their partner also pleases them. And that is not at all the same thing.

>>33703137
>I'm sorry for the poor dude who has to tolerate you.
Oh, and I'm a straight XY male, btw. No dude has to tolerate me.

>>33703197
As I said, he is absolutely entitled to break up with her and date someone else if he wants to. He is not entitled to force her to perform sexual acts she doesn't want to perform.
>I feel like you’ve been abused by the way you typed this out.
That's a very weird (and incorrect) take.

>>33701731
you get what you get
I hate parties that would be a plus and uncommon for that age

She has extensive boundaries. It's your duty as her mate to make her open up to you. Love is not just sex. It takes many forms.

If you truly love this woman, and not just lust over her which it sounds like you are, you will find the way to match.

>>33704004
>you get what you get
That's not really how dating works

>>33704468
yes it is. You get what you can get and either take it for granted and leave or accept it and stay. OP is not a supermodel woman who can do as they please.

>>33701731
She's mostly right in the first half, but it's pointless if she's still letting you base the relationship off of sex.
I concur with the other anons. It doesn't sound like principle for her. It sounds more like her settling for you.

>>33701882
This, but unironically. People who need to be "adventurous" like OP would never agree to that, which makes supposed incompatibility a non-issue.

>>33704511
>yes it is.
If you're a loser, I guess.

>You get what you can get and either take it for granted and leave or accept it and stay.
I really think you are projecting a lot of your difficulties dating onto the rest of the world, anon. I'm a nearly 40 year old man and I have no clue what you're talking about. I don't ever think I've had a friend or acquaintance who was dating a woman because it was literally all they could get. That sounds like you problem.

>>33701731
she sounds like she doesn't love you at all
>my first girlfriend at 31
checks out, she's just using you for attention and I will not be surprised if she leaves you. I'll pray for your recovery

>>33701731
People are different there is no default relationship. If you dont like the lack of passionate sex and compliments then move on.

is it not just better to be incel at this point?

>>33704561
it's OP's problem I had girlfriends I lived with one at that age and we both had crazy high sex drive

>>33701731
Honestly, after my ex an everything she did to me, I really have no emotions anymore. Like nothing bothers me, things that used to scare me or make me depressed or trigger me don't even phase me now. It's like she sucked the soul completely out of me.

>>33701731
look OP Women do this all the time and don't feel guilty about it but don't get caught. Scout other prospects for girlfriend. You could work on maybe pleasing the current one better so she wants more sex but she might just be a cold fish. Find other women you could leave her for and if one is really promising pull the trigger.

>>33704739
Yeah, classic incel projection. They can't convince a woman to fuck them so they convince themselves its a universal experience.

>>33704752
do you make these threads to get advice or to argue with people. I guarantee I fucked more women than you, some loser 23 year old. I fucked 3 in one day before. You're filtered and OP can enjoy his sex once every 2 weeks or whatever it is.

>>33704763
>do you make these threads
Nigger what are you talking about?

>>33701731
You're a prisoner, not a boyfriend. And she doesn't respect you or look at you like a man. Or she wouldn't try you like that. You're a joke to her, entertainment, a toy, a tool. Not a man.

>>33704771
>You're a prisoner
A 31 year old man is not a prisoner my dude. That's a real cucked mentality.

Car sex sucks, people only do it because it's the only sort of private place they can find.

That being said don't bother with her too much. She's looking to train you into being a pushover, stop with all the courting and begging. If she asks why you grew so distant tell her you wanted intimacy from a relationship and it's clearly not her goal so why should you bother. If she continues the muh immature muh inexperienced gaslight much longer outright tell her that evidently you should look for a teenage slut and she should set her sights at guys who are over 60 because clearly you're only together out of convenience only.

>>33701731
anon i don't think she's very attracted to you... if she was really attracted to you she would be all over you :(

>>33702507
>She isn't actually strongly attracted to you. She feels like she has a husband finally locked down and is doing the bare minimum to keep your attention and loyalty.

harsh but true -- that's whats actually happening here. She's tired , she's lazy, and knows she has an easy mark.

>>33701731
>>no car sex because it's bad and childish
boring, but trashy so understandable
>>no blowjobs, only for foreplay
she's a selfish lover
>>doesn't go to parties because we are "mature adults"
boring bitch
>>sex is kind of bland, doesn't even ride me (says that real life is not like porn)
>>never dresses sexy for me
>>sex only 1-2 per week after extensive long dates and courting
>>never wants to fool around other than in the bedroom at home
>>doesn't kiss or make out with me because that's what teens do
>>never compliments me
again, selfish boring bitch. not worth it

i have never had sex

>She told me relationships aren't like Disney movies and I have a lot of maturing to do.
True. You'd have to have started with a different woman if you were looking for different results.

>>33702274
Don't "i can fix her" while you're already with someone.

>>33701826
>It's "normal" in the sense of there are for sure bitches like this but not "normal" in the sense of she's just telling you how it is for most people or everyone

My words exactly. Its her normal and this is a type. Not every woman is like this. I personally would do well with a woman like this minus bjs. I love bjs. Non negotiable. Wife obliges.

>>33701731
>no car sex because it's bad and childish
>never wants to fool around other than in the bedroom at home
these are the only ones that sound reasonable

>>33701882
So you can find out youre locked in with a prudish fuck plank before you even had a chance to know and make a decision?

>>33702482
Its all in the chemistry. Ive fucked enough women. With some women its porn experience, with others its catholic style.

>>33705542
>>never wants to fool around other than in the bedroom at home
Naw that's bullshit, who doesn't love to go at it in the shower or get ridden on the couch (if you do reverse cowgirl you can also both watch TV at the same time).

>>33705554
Oh yeah that's true. The way he worded it, it sounded like he was expecting sex outside the home.

>>33705548
>with others its catholic style
Not trying to detract from your point, but I always love hearing this Proddie slander
Sex is meant to be procreative AND unitive. You're encouraged and even charged with having fun with the act, especially because you only get to do it every nine months after your woman get knocked up lol.

>>33701731
She isn’t really turned on obviously. She doesn’t seem happy

Fate worse than death

>>33701731
You are the beta she settled for after whoring around her teens and 20s

>>33701731
sorry breh you're not one of the 5+ "fun" boyfriends, you're the boring stable one she can use as a source of financial stability and nothing more

>>33705546
That's why you get engaged first

>>33702274
>Me and my wife do unspeakable things to each other
Like what?

>>33701731
There are no blowjobs and car-sex scenes in Disney movies. What is she talking about?

>>33703829
I probably have to read this book

>>33703613
>You probably can't do better than her, be happy with what you have
Anon... Your cynicism is showing.

>>33706662
>first gf at 31
>she is obviously not scared to lose him
Obviously I don't know OP, but this is strong evidence that I'm right

>>33701731
Everyone saying she must not actually like you isn't necessarily right, she really could just be cold sexually and intimately as her stock personality. But if that's the case then it's a huge problem that she has so little perspective and empathy to insist that that's how everyone is and that you're wrong for wanting otherwise. That's incompatibility and she's trying to strong-arm you into thinking you're a problem instead of compromising. This relationship will only last with you being miserable

>>33701731
>got my first girlfriend

Why do you guys always insist making the next best chick your gf just because she is your first?

>She told me relationships aren't like Disney movies and I have a lot of maturing to do.

Yeah, sure. Using your inexperience in order to mold you into what *she* thinks a relationship should be like is grounds to eject immediately.

Take her as a first experience, move on and look for a girl who actually enriches your life. Its one thing to expect your gf to throat your dick to the hilt thrice daily while rimming your asshole, but IMAGINE staying together with a woman who refuese to even make out with your regularly. She sucks, she has issues, and she finally thinks she found a sucker who won't dump her for being an unloving shrew.

>>33707286
Its possible that Anon *thinks* he can't do better than her , I will give you that. And considering that any confident guy would have never made her into a gf in the first place thats probably the cause.
>be happy with what you have
As the old saying goes: Better to have empty hands than a fistful of smelly turds

>>33704748
>work on maybe pleasing the current one better

Investing into people who obviously don't give a rats ass about your needs is called simping. And simping only makes thigns worse while costing you every ounce of self esteem you may have had. You can do anything, embarass yourself, make mistakes, be stupid. But. Never. Ever. Be a simp.

>>33707286
What evidence is there that she's not scared to lose him? She just sounds like a bitch reachung the wall

>>33710664
nta but she wouldn't treat a chad like this, op is expendable to her

>>33701731
you're being settled for anon. Do not commit to this women, she will have kids with you, get fat and then divorce you when they are school aged.

>>33710831
We'll see about that when she dumps him.
It's more likely that no chad wants or needs to deal with her bullshit

>>33701731
You can deal with your first break up soon too. You just aren't compatible, but because you were eager to get a gf you overlooked it, or think you are at fault. No one is at fault, you just don't really match.

>>33701731
>She told me relationships aren't like Disney movies and I have a lot of maturing to do.
>Am I just being childish?
Relationships are what you make of them.
It won't be a Disney movie all of the time (or at least I can't manage to do it), but you can do better than being boring and bland 24/7.
Put your energy into the relationship, see how it goes. It might be somewhat expensive, but you'll be paying for shared experiences, and that's the best luxury good you can get. OTOH, if she never answers to your energy, and is sullen all the time while you are having fun, maybe you aren't right for each other.

>>33701731
Keep her as a house cleaner and cook as long as you can while getting a horny gf.

>>33711296
Jej

>>33702153
27 is pretty fucking old in today's twisted modern dating world.