I'm a 30yo virgin. I'm on the fence over visiting whores. Whores in my country are usually fat, ugly and HIV positive. There's a few ones that look cute and sexy in listings. I really wish to fuck a young beautiful woman and it seems this is the only guaranteed way to do that. I'm held back by preconceptions of being a good boy to my mom and not make her worry, despite her never being emotionally there when I've needed her. I also feel like I'd be failing at something by giving my first time to a prostitute, fear being questioned by future girlfriends about having been with peostitutes, I feel like I'd be betraying the perfectionist prick inside me somehow.I am starved for connection with girls and I want to have some low stakes interaction with someone who genuinely attracts me. My reasoning is, if she's willing to have sex for money maybe she's ok with listening to my bullshit. I'd love to have one teach me flirting or just have fun with her. I don't drink or smoke. My outlook on life can be summarized as a list of obstacles to overcome. I regret the perfectionist upbringing my parents gave me, believing childish romance bullshit up to my adulthood and having been socially neglected by all growing up. I have niche hobbies I could talk about but nobody would listen. Listening to people is draining unless they're good looking girls, and those never share shit because they've never had to be vulnerable in life. I am aware why all of this would be icky to anyone. I don't know where to start to build myself to make myself normal and stop thinking of life as a sequence of failures.
>>33720039If you starved for an emotional connection with women then a hooker is definitely not the way to go. Sure they’ll listen to you give your sappy life story but at the end of the day they’ll only pretend to care so much so that you’ll come back and fuck them for money again. It’ll always be a one sided thing. Go to see hooker solely for sexual pleasure
>>33720224Have you ever been to one?
>>33720039Don't go brother, especially on the HIV thing, trust me, a moment of pleasure aint worth a lifetime of regret.I was just like you, post 30s and a virgin. I was tempted, I tell you now but made a decision to try, really fucking try to get someone.I met a girl also in her 30s. We both lost our v card and are now fiances. It's really fucking hard but I practiced and trained my social skills, got real hobbies, running and a martial art, and quit all my vices like porn and video games.If I can do it man, you can too. Hang in there.
>>33720626I'd kys myself if I got a girl in her 30s. It doesn't make justice.
> virgin> expert on whores lmao. your a fat ass neckbeard loser. don’t try to tell us anything. you know nothing
>>33720656Suit yourself man, I met her in her late 20s, we get on and are building a life together. But guess that says more bout ye than anything. Good luck regardless.
>>33720039Relatable, same situation practically. What convinced me not to visit the professional and stop thinking about it was to simply take a vacation with a camping tent and have some weeks of pure hermit style life. No people no phone.It helped me to start rebuilding without thinking much of others expectations, I also stopped thinking about the virgin situation like it was a overdue milestone
>>33720603multiple, mostly massage parlors. They’re like on every strip mall here. Sometimes independent escorts. Trying to cut the habit since it’s starting to bleed me dry but I’ve had no luck with anything else
Nothing wrong with going to hookers. That being said, you should actually do something about yourself instead of whining. You have never asked a girl out or tried to flirt with one. Hookers are for people with sexual experience.
>>33720039>preconceptions of being a good boy to my mom and not make her worry, despite her never being emotionally there when I've needed her.You're better served looking for a good therapist and working through your emotional issues with him. Bein a virgin at 30 is a definite sign of you having deeper issues. Your therapy may entail going to a parostitute AFTER you have dealt with those issuse. In all likelihood you will be able to simply find a gf afterwards though.>the perfectionist prick inside meYeah that not a personality trait, thats a sign of self esteem issues. Unless you aget agrip on atht, you can be drownign in pussy and still find reasons to punish yourself.Therapy, nigger. You're already abel to recognize your issues, now you need to go the next step and acknowledge that they aren't unchangeable fixtures but problems to be dealt with.
>>33720626>We both lost our v card and are now fiancesAs someone who is also a virgin his his 30s, thats literally my horror scenario. Getting entrapped by the next best rando who throws me some pussy just because she happens to be the first by pure chance. Not experiencing what it means to "get" women, to just have them casually in your life. Not experiencing what it is like that you know how to meet women and will meet another one no problem if this one isn't right. Not pikcing and choosing your relationships from a position of abundance where you gf the woman that is best for you, but instead clinging and imemdiately hardcore committing to anyone who is willing to be intimate with you. Giving up my independence and freedom entirely and immediately just to get some pussy. Fuck, not even having any comparison if that woman is actually right for you or if you are just overwhelmed by a first experience. I don't mean to rain on your parade or that what you are doing is wrong, just that I personally fail to understand how stories liek yours are considered a "happy ending". Frankly, its just too much coincidence for my taste that the first chick always somehow turns out to be the love of your life in those scenarios. Seems really improbable.
>>33721002So where do you satiate the thirst for connection if the normal channel isn't given access if you thirst for it in the first place?>>33721080I've spent a thousand on therapy and so far it's not enough. It's not about whining, I really fucking need comrades who have my back at all times, who encourage me to take risks and can understand my pain when I have it. A therapist doesn't provide that, all he gives is a scheme to brainwash yourself. I'm grieving I don't have any of that, but if I weren't grieving I wouldn't be getting any closer to having them by using CBT. I have seen in my own family what excessive stoicism does, and it ends up being nothing but silent suffering. If I'm gonna suffer I'd rather do it loudly.
>>33721168>A therapist doesn't provide that, all he gives is a scheme to brainwash yourself.+Try a different therapist or methodology, sounds like you went to a behaviourist psych, which isn't sufficient for your kind of issues. Seek depth psychological approaches. Also yes, you need some "brainwashing" to get out of your screwed up mental world.>I really fucking need comrades who have my back at all times, who encourage me to take risks and can understand my pain when I have it.Yeah no one is going to be willing to be that, because thats not what friendships look like. It sounds like you really need to start off with building genuine, mutually beneficial freidnships to other men before you even think abotu women. And not, those don't consist of listenign to you whine nonstop, neither do they exist to outsource your own lack of courage.Your family showed you one extreme, falling into the other extreme will not do you any good. A modicum of stoicism does anyone Good. A modicum, not an excess.
>>33720039>. I'm on the fence over visiting whores.Isn't it hard to keep your balance? And tough on their backs?
Every so often this thread topic pops up. And every time it makes me contemplate going for it. But I just can't. As much as I want sex so bad the desire for a genuine connection outside of sex is what I actually desire.I think it's worse for me because I know what sex feels like. Man I miss it. But still, I miss that genuine connection more.
34 year old virgin here. No friends. Trying therapy again for the nth time but I have no hope
>>33720039Why not just become a sugar daddy and get an 18 year old SB? Most of them at that age are dipping their toes in sex work and aren't going to have STDs or even a high bodycount
>>33726373How do I do that? Also I'm not earning money, I went back to college and can't talk to anybody for the life of me. I have no idea how to go out with others and even just inviting people puts pressure on me to make things work or constantly check how people are.
