I am 24 years old, trying to lock in for a year before my brain chemistry is unalterable forever, like popular neuroscience slop tells me. I've been doing well, building habits like walking 10k a day, practicing my bass guitar, and learning Japanese for when I move to Okinawa next year. I've been down about 20 pounds through water fasting and 10k steps daily for over a month.My faith is really struggling, though. I have been a Christian for a long while, but I am having issues remaining faithful, and I don't know if it's healthy skepticism or something like demonic influence.I have been looking into a book called The Apocalypse Unsealed, which discusses how Revelation is all just allegories for how the human body must undergo a process akin to a "rapture" to reach salvation. Still, none of the books of Revelation play out practically in real life. It is aligned with many gnostic things I have heard of before, but never given much thought to. (Yahweh being the demiurge, life being imperfect by design, we are in some soul prison.)I still believe in Christ and his teachings, but I can't get through the Old Testament without thinking maybe God is flawed in his nature, he creates us imperfect, and then takes it out on us when we fail him of his own design.I struggle with lust and sexual sin, and just don't know if I'm questioning my faith to allow myself to continue to torture myself. I believe porn and masturbation are nasty regardless of religious belief, but there seems to be a lot of overlap between the two.Just feeling stuck recently, I broke my guitar's truss rod trying to do a setup on it like a retard, and while I'm getting it sent to a tech, I just have a lot of time to think about random BS. I'm starting another fast again to try and keep my mind off things.Does anyone else get into this cringe gnostic stuff, or am I in over my head, looking for an excuse to reinvent all of my values for the 50th time for no reason whatsoever?
>>33729519>before my brain chemistry is unalterable foreverNo such a thing. Not until you're like 50...>but I can't get through the Old TestamentYou should not. Period. Christ is God made man, so we could better understand God and so we had a model to live our lives.Trying to understand God is stupidity, because God in it's entirety is more than men can comprehend.>I struggle with lust and sexual sin.Listen to this and then aks yourself if you are really struggling: https://youtu.be/4erRNfEGMIQ?si=oXbp0ujoKovRVNIj
>>33729519Similar here. The good reading is between the lines. The bible is more subtle about it but there are many myths having a son of god take punishment for all, or tricks god into a loophole that enables us all freedom of thought. It is the same old song and dance that tells the story of our ability to transcend mortality. I doubt if the man ever existed but his words obviously did. Heaven is in you and you cannot get there without going through yourself. I have followed a few others in determining that Christ did not exist but believe none the less.
>>33729889Historians generally accept Christ to have been a real person, no? I always thought the resurrection was the point of contention amongst atheists, not his existence entirely. I am seeing more and more how the bible could be the interpretation of various myths from multiple cultures around the globe. Certain things, like the Israelites never being enslaved in Egypt historically, have me questioning whether everything should be taken literally or not. I believe the bible has been altered in countless ways to the point where the holy spirit can only protect its valid message through the more indirect meanings.>>33729696I have quit porn before and done well without it. I know it is not the root cause of my issues, but it is the coping mechanism I find myself going towards even when my life isn't stressful. Very momentum-focused, I find myself binging a lot if something goes wrong.
>>33729519>before my brain chemistry is unalterable forever, like popular neuroscience slop tells meYeah whoever told you that has nothing to do with science. Neuroplasticity starts degrading around 50, mental rigidity becomes a real problem only after like 60, and this mostly in people who don't use their brain anymore and just stare at the TV in retirement. >>33729923>like the Israelites never being enslaved in Egypt historically, have me questioning whether everything should be taken literally or not.First off, the old Testament is simply the history of the jewish tribes, as told by the jews themselves. If you check out modern israel, you can take a wild guess how truthful they tend to be. To no ones surprise, much of the Old Teastament has been disproven as contemporary jewish propaganda. First and foremost their claims of constant victories and their claims of having genocided their enemies such as the Kanaanites, which have been proven to be wholly made up. Also, in Christianity the Old Testament isn't considered to be relevant to your life in the modern day. Its historical backdrop and context for the New Testament , nothing more. I advise not associating with sects that take the Old Testament into account or even literal, because the laws of the tribes of Judaea 3000 A.D. really don't have any relevance today, leaving aside that the God of the old testament is a cruel and evil one, much different from the God that Jesus represents.
>>33729696Not OP but also struggling with my Christian (Catholic) faith First>You should not. Period.The Old Testament provides the justification for the New Testament. All of those books of prophets, Ezekiel, Daniel, Elisha, etc, are all used as evidence that Christ was indeed the Son of God and fulfilling those prophecies. Jesus also stated multiple times He came to fulfill the law not destroy it. If you accept Christ you MUST accept the Old Testament, no if ands or buts about it.>Trying to understand God is stupidity, because God in it's entirety is more than men can comprehend.Big stumbling block for me right now. Maybe this is really just the limitation of mortal insight, but I really don't see how the many miserable and pointless deaths occurring as I type right this second fit into a grand plan. How is a Chinese factory worker living a miserable life only to be crushed by a steel beam and sent to hell for not being a believer, some kind of mercy?
>>33730004Kek Catholic get called "cafeteria christians" but Proddies really do be ignoring more than 50% of the Bible because they don't understand it.> Its historical backdrop and context for the New Testament , nothing more.It contains hundreds of pages of prophecies that theologically justify acknowledging Jesus Christ as the Messiah and Son of God.
>>33729696>>33730004Not to mention Proverbs, Psalms, Ecclesiastes, Sirach, The Song of Solomon, the Book of Wisdom, etc all describe how to live in a Christ-like manner to prepare the wise and meek Israelites for the coming of Christ.Really, only a LARPer who thinks the Old Testament is just the Pentateuch would not know about these things.
>>33730188Yeah, I'm from Europe, evangelical fundie loons who think the Old Testament is real got kicked out of the continent for a reason. >>33730203>all describe how to live in a Christ-like mannerThey are quite literally and openly describing how to live as a jew, considering they were put down before the coming of Christ. The New testament contains everything a good Christian needs to know, trying to larp as an ancient israelite only leads to chizoid disorders, and Philosemitism in the really bad cases.
>>33729519Sounds like you are going through a quarter life crisis anon.Your brain retains plasticity throughout your entire life, it doesn't get stuck at 25.Sounds like you are already making changes and trying new things to figure out the next stage of your life. It is okay, it might take a couple years to resolve. The fight is a positive thing.
>>33729519I feel this hard.You sound like I do when I can't escape logic I think is wrong.Pray first. God gives the best help.Talk to people you trust, then listen with an open mind. We miss obvious things.> The Apocalypse UnsealedUse skepticism for both sides. Do you have good reason to think that these ideas might be true?> maybe God is flawed in his nature, he creates us imperfect, and then takes it out on us when we fail him of his own design.Read Romans for answers. "God has imprisoned all in disobedience so that he may have mercy on all." Don't forget the second half. The Cross was the plan from the beginning.> lust and sexual sin1. Talk to someone you trust for support.2. You are medicating a felt deficit. What are you missing? Pray and analyze. God has something better for you than the nasty.I'll pray for you right now, before I forget.
>>33731546>Muh EuropeGreat, my pastor was actually trained at the FSSP seminary in Fribourg, Switzerland. >considering they were put down before the coming of ChristThank you for admitting you're a LARPer who has never actually read the BibleI'd consider the spiritual ramifications of leading people astray by falsely interpreting The Word.
>>33729519https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wacdjuvaS9Y
I don't think I could ever be Christian because the actual history of yahweh ruins it for me. It makes sense if the demiurge is the ancient Israeli mountain/storm god but for actual Christianity it is just an extreme oversight everybody ignores. Like how can he be the one true God if he comes from a pantheon of ancient gods, I'm confirmed Catholic on paper and I was not told this anywhere in church/Bible school.
