I'm 25, work at a retail job (better than your average supermarket job) and am hoping to get promoted, grow within the company.When I first started one of the people that left a big impression on me was this blonde nerdy girl - she started at the same position as I and worked her way up to manager. Everyone knows her here and she gets shit done. I thought, if she could do it, so can I. Gradually these thoughts made me develop a crush on her. I went out of my way to talk to her whilst there and thought we had great synergy. I got the impression she might be into me and decided to act on it. I'm a sperg who never had a gf before so this was uncharted waters. The fact that she had a manager position at our workplace did put me a little bit on edge, as at work I'm rather hestitant to do any actual flirting or asking of intimate questions. Doesn't seem professional, I'd rather not do it, could go wrong.So instead, at one point when we are hanging out during our break, I ask if she would like to 'hang out' outside of work. To my delight she agrees and we arrange to pick a date the following week.So then I reach out to her asking to hang out on a particular day. I suggest we go to an arcade. Maybe a stupid idea but thought it would be cool. She ends up calling it off because it was on a busy day and probably because I didn't really have much of a plan. Few days later, I reach out again, in the message I also ask if she's ok with the fact that I am dming her. Message ghosted for 3 days but she probably read it via notification. After that I delete the message in anger.Continued in replies
From then on she gets distant at work, not engaging in conversations as she did before, sometimes refusing to say hello or goodbye, only talking to me when she has to tell me something work-related. I decide to give her some space hoping that will help, maybe she finds it awkward to talk to me after that. Stupid option but I felt like I didn't have any options, I didn't feel comfortable dming her anymore. Fast forward to yesterday, 2 months after this started. Yeah. Long fucking ass time. Pretty much nothing's changed.I'm at the station, on my way to work, and I go to take the metro. I walk in, find a place to stand and in that moment she comes in through the door opposite me. I say "Hello". She doesn't answer, looks at me vacantly for half a sec and bolts further into the metro. That really hurt. How the hell do I communicate with her that this is not ok? I want to ask her if there is anything I should apologize for because I honestly have no clue why she is the way she is now. Even if she doesn't want to date me or meet outside work she could at least act like a normal human again when we are together at work.Even after all that I refuse in my mind to hate her or not appreciate all the things that I think are cool about her.I was considering talking to her best friend who is also a manager there and has also been nice to me. But the problem is that it could backfire massively (violating the rule of 'don't shit where you eat' again, and potentially having the friend go to her, tell her we talked and thus make her hate me more because I went behind her back) so I haven't done it. inb4 >she's obviously not into you just give upI won't, so give me advice for how to proceed
she's obviously not into you just give up>And don't tell me 2+2=4 because it just doesn't Okay!?!?
>>33730768don't care I want a nice working relationship with this person at leastalso are you the retard saying this in all the other threads?
>>33730429I’ll help you the best I can. Yes you’re right saying arcade was the dumb decision. It’s comes off as low effort and that you really didn’t think that much into it. Also you’re 25 no offense could’ve literally went to a coffee shop. Do you know any of her interest and hobbies that aren’t just yours. Few days later when you reached out you asked if it was okay to message her as your are already messaging her. This comes off a wishy washy and that you have no confidence.
>>33730823>Also you’re 25 no offense could’ve literally went to a coffee shopyeah I figured that out and wish I thought of it then. it's a no brainer. in any future attempts with girls I'm gonna ask this instead>Do you know any of her interest and hobbies that aren’t just yours.Ones that we don't have in common? I guess horror movies. But you can't really get to know somebody watching a movie.I forgot to mention but in the original DMs I proposed the arcade or going to a cat cafe which I thought was a good idea as we were talking abouts cats at the time.
>>33730431DONT talk to the friend you idiot. If they are close friends they both probably know about this situation. They think you are a creep And you going to the friend doing the same thing will confirm to them that you are a creep and possibly a loser. Just try to talk to the first girl. Text or in person. Just tell her you thought you had good synergy at first but you realized yall don’t really like each other and would like to keep it professional and work only. That way she doesn’t feel like every situation is you trying to talk to her. Don’t talk to the friend. The fact that she’s your manager this happened and she hasn’t made your life hell means she’s not crazy and very understanding.
You did find don't beat yourself up about it. No point in guessing what's going on in her head, could be anything. I'd just go back to full professional behaviour as if it's a woman I have no interest in. You didn't check up anywhere from what was explained.
>>33730861>If they are close friends they both probably know about this situation.logical and I thought this from the beginning. would make no sense if she didn't. but that's why she would know about it>They think you are a creepHer friend I know slightly longer than her and have more of a working relationship with. She's been completely fine around me and hasn't changed. But I do think you're right that it just looks weak/creepy if I were to attempt asking her.>Just tell her you thought you had good synergy at first but you realized yall don’t really like each other and would like to keep it professional and work only.that isn't true because I still like her despite everything nor is it what I want. What we have now is professional and work only but it's soulless NPC dialogue. I want to talk to a human and in my most preferred scenario to salvage the situation somehow.
anything else? please? :)
>>33734481Not read anything but the title, just ignore them completely make her feel unnoticed, she'll hate that and come back to you.
>>33730429She doesn’t want you. She realizes you want something more out of her but she can’t/don’t want to give it to you. I mean do you even know her dating status? Maybe she has a bf, maybe not but she’s still hung up on her ex. Maybe she’s in a talking stage with another man. Maybe she wants to be single. I think you’re trying to force something that isn’t there at all. Learn to live with rejection and move on. Don’t even expect courtesy from people, in fact don’t expect anything from anyone.
>>33730429Yeah ngl its jover.
>>33730431>>she's obviously not into you just give up>I won't, so give me advice for how to proceedEnjoy getting fired for sexual harassment, OP
