It was my older male cousin. He did it to me a few times. It’s so embarrassing getting “triggered” but the memory comes back so often and it feels really bad. It has definitely played a big part in my low self-esteem and my thoughts of hurting myself. Does anybody else have any experience with this? Do any of you feel this way? How do you handle it? I hate this feeling.
Find the molester and confront him, expose him.
My girl had this problem too. The reality is you need to endure it by being mindful of your triggers and be with people who respect that. You were innocent. It is not your fault. Most of all, forgive yourself and stop blaming yourself or thinking you are dirty. I have no problem with my woman being this way. I just want keep to her safe.
>>33732782I don’t think I could ever do that. >>33732806It’s always going to be an area of sensitivity I think. Life would be a lot easier if I could just forget. I think you’re right that I need to be mindful.
>>33732774Yeah, happened to me too, computer science teacher. Remember it isn't your fault, avoid things that trigger those memories, and try to distract yourself if those memories do come up (I clean pr wash dishes to blank my mind)
>>33732774Firstly, don't blame yourself. It doesn't reflect or imprint on who you really are and it shouldn't drag you down. Do not let him overpower you in your own head. Secondly, find a productive effort to channel your thoughts. A profession or a business, or even just a hobby. And thirdly, most importantly, do not try to numb it with self-harm, drugs or booze. It will be only temporary and will wreck your body - and even if you don't care about yourself - at least consider the immense pain and suffering you will cause upon yourself if you go that path. It's not worth it and it's completely avoidable.
>>33732900Sorry it happened to you too. I mostly distract myself with music, movies, vidya. Probably not the healthiest. I try to remind myself that it wasn’t my fault. >>33732984Yeah I’m a booze and weed guy sometimes. I need to stop that.
I made this thread when I was drunk last night. Thanks to the anons that said kind stuff. I feel better today. Life goes on.
>>33732774It gets more like a memory that happens to someone else over time. You will need to examine it from all points of view. Like, what did you do to cause it? Why do think this person would do this? Re there any other victims? Is what transpires so bad?As you go through these questions, you’ll start to see that these people are usually sick and influenced by someone else. And it is only up to you to break the cycle.I rebel against the notion of repeating this incident vehemently and strive to create a world that those I care for are always safe.
>>33735694Don't blame yourself. When we're below a certain age and stage in our lives, we are exceptionally vulnerable. You did nothing wrong. You have to remind yourself of that in healthy ways and find solace in it. What they did to you is something they will have to grapple with. It was Dostoevsky who said that if a man has a conscience, then he will feel guilt and torment for what he has done, and that should be enough for us to move on with our lives and keep our distance. I recommend exploring this with a therapist of the same sex. It might help you feel more comfortable exploring the abuse with someone you can more easily relate to.I suffer from low self esteem for somewhat similar reasons. I'm pushing my early thirties now, and I still struggle with it. Don't let it get you down. You have no logical reason to feel bad about yourself for being a victim of child abuse. You didn't have the physical power to walk away or fight back. Sometimes that's life. We end up being victims of circumstance. But life can still be good. Read some Walt Whitman, I know you're a fan. Take care of yourself.
>>33735902Thank you for this. I suspect my abuser was himself abused. But like you, I also insist that the cycle stops with me. >>33736296Thanks anon. I really mean it. All these posts are making me feel a lot better. I honestly didn’t expect to get such thoughtful responses about this subject from 4chan. I’m gonna read some Walt Whitman. I’ve never read him before. I’d be curious to know why you thought I was already a fan.
>>33736573what will you read
>>33738177I’m not sure yet. Some poetry I guess.
>>33732774Is your older male cousin creepy now or is he a normal guy? You should understand that your older male cousin was also probably molested. Someone showed it to him before he showed it to you. He's had to deal with whatever happened to him as well.
>>33732774go to therapy
