(2/2)
I don’t know what to believe. We’re both very sensitive right now and I can see by his words and actions that he loves me deeply. I know he was missing me but the time frame between he texted this girl and he reached out to me was barely one week. I can’t help but think he just came back because he didn’t get easy sex with her. It’s necessary to mention I’m his first everything and 2 years older than him (he’s 22 and I’m 24). So one way I coped during this time was accepting the fact he’s young, ambitious and he gotta keep exploring the world and acquiring new experiences. I know we’ll separate soon and our paths will divide but I never, not even once, thought about sleeping around or get into a rebound relationship to deal with the emotional mess the break up produced me. Not now not on february. It’s not fair to judge him by my own ethic tho, because I already experienced things he has never had the opportunity to try. I can see he’s avid to try new things and change as a person but I think the collateral damage is too much for me.
Hell, I don’t even have the right to be mad at him because he was single at that point but I keep ruminating about how he desired her even when we’re together and how fast he jumped to text her. I gave him everything, from acts of service to great sex I’m certain he enjoys a lot. He knows I love and desire him and I fear that validation is what he’s craving for right now that he’s mentally unstable and preparing to leave his comfort zone.
He had told me multiple times how he will never forget me because I’m his first love. So unconsciously I’m getting excited about the idea of meeting again and starting from 0 when we’re both better version of ourselves. I have never loved a man this way. I love him beyond the surface. I don’t care how he looks or what he has. I just wanted to get old together and come back to a home where I know he will be waiting for me.

>>33734124
The people on this board have no reference point to give you honest and actionable advice, ask somewhere else

well it seems to me like he needs to feel like a man, i think he is insecure that you dont really love him

>>33734116
I've read all of it. I've been through 10+ breakups to figure out what's wrong with my relationship. I've been convincing myself I could work things out in the end I finally know why.

I'm sorry to hear what you've been through. Here's what I have to say about your case. I'm a guy myself and I can already tell his POV. You're a really nice person for giving him a chance but its time you have to let him go. He's lying and manipulating you.

He's trying to find a better woman of his life if not he goes back to you. Better to have someone than no one as they say. You on the other hand got no one else as you heal but the reason you're hurt is because of him that you want him back. You need to find a new boyfriend or get rid of him in your life. You gave him enough.

His words means nothing just woo you over back to him. The fact he already planned to cheat on you is the thing you already need to know despite going back at it after a break up.

>>33734124
>I can see by his words and actions that he loves me deeply.
His words may suggest that he does, but his actions strongly suggest that he doesn't. The overall impression I get from this is that he hasn't a clue what he wants. I think possibly he also likes the *idea* of being with you more than he likes actually being with you.

I think you know, deep down, that the two of you don't belong together. And it's you who is going to have to make a clean break here, because he doesn't have the ability to: he'll leave for a while because it's not get working, then get bored or horny and want to come back. It's going to have to be you who doesn't let him.

>>33734267
>>33734340
This is so hurtful to read because I guess is the true. We saw last time on Sunday and we accorded to not talk through chat so I’m here being a ball of anxiety waiting for his call to see each other again. I was thinking of seeing him today to end this weird situationship because I can’t stop thinking about the other girl and how all feels like a lie now.

>>33734124
I wasn't able to read this since I assumed it wasn't part of the green text. The (2/2) looked like a date when it had no space next to the paragraphs. The other anons here might have not read it as well.

>I gave him everything, from acts of service to great sex I’m certain he enjoys a lot. He knows I love and desire him and I fear that validation is what he’s craving for right now that he’s mentally unstable and preparing to leave his comfort zone.
He had told me multiple times how he will never forget me because I’m his first love. So unconsciously I’m getting excited about the idea of meeting again and starting from 0 when we’re both better version of ourselves. I have never loved a man this way. I love him beyond the surface. I don’t care how he looks or what he has. I just wanted to get old together and come back to a home where I know he will be waiting for me.
>I told to myself “I have nothing to lose”
Yes you are losing. The love that you wanted isn't there. This is your expectations of him controlling you. It's NOT him doing what you wanted right at the start so you're just fantasizing over it when it's not real.

>I just wanted to get old together and come back to a home where I know he will be waiting for me.
You already know what your wants and needs yet you still think otherwise. He is in the wrong but you're also in the wrong too allowing this to happen. He's not only lying but you're also lying to yourself. You have NO ONE ELSE that's why you're fine going through this but you're just wasting time here loving someone who will abandon you anytime.

If none of this matters to you or any losses then you would have been fine doing "friends with benefits altogether" but your words above is opposing that idea. He's not the guy you wanted and you're fantasizing that he will be. Your love is deserved by someone else or rather not spent to someone like him as he won't return it to you. Even if he returns it he'll do it to someone else also which causes you problems. He's not going to wait for you entirely but for someone else to show up who is interesting to him.

IF YOU WANT TO EVER GOING BACK ON SOMEONE:
>1. That person has to make up for their mistake.
>2. Provide TWICE the benefits than the drawbacks.
>3. Acknowledge every mistake they make and fully understand your needs and wants.

Out of those above, he doesn't meet most of it. It's just about him not understanding anything. You're so understanding yet he doesn't understands you. There's no rebound for your relationship I can assure you that.

Your love is deserved by someone else. If someone else doesn't exist then just save your time and energy for something else worth your time, energy and emotions than spending it to the wrong person.