After being called stupid all my life, why does someone calling me smart feel like an attack?
>>33737826because you've decided you're stupid so anyone calling you smart must be being sarcastic
>>33737830I mean, when people treat you like you're stupid for 20 years and call you stupid every time you screw up anything, it tends to stick.
>>33737826You may have grew up in an environment where most compliments were backhanded. I know I did, and people would say things like, “oh, he’s so SMART” (pause) “but he’s got no common sense.”Basically, you still have your guard up. It may even be a little of imposter syndrome, as you may be intelligent but don’t have life experience or an avenue to develop it (like piano or something)My advice to you is do what I do: engage in positive thoughts and self-talk. I often start my day with at least five Gratitudes, then contradict any negative thoughts that crop up and reframe them.For example, I’m currently beefing with my great aunt over $4,000 in rent money she refuses to return after she misspent it in Publishers Clearing House. Her phrase for me now is “oh, he’s always has to be right!” Which is an absurd statement, as it diverts from the misappropriated funds and attacks my insistent/thorough character.I reframed that scenario, as I know she will never pay and has since doubled down on reputation destruction as most aging people do. Instead, I feel that the loss of money was a liberating factor (ie. 4 g’s and they’re out of your life, it’s a bargain) and the insults were actually compliments given by a seething gambling addicts. This is VERY difficult, but it works.
>>33737976Publisher's clearing house is still a thing? Fuck
>>33737976Yea, I was never allowed to do anything. I asked to learn piano, "No, you're too stupid" In school, I wanted to do band, and my mom said I was too stupid. When I was in college, I started learning guitar, and when I was practicing mid day, she told me that I can't practice in the house. Practice on the porch and she said I was still being loud. I get why she discouraged me, we were poor and she needed to keep her money so she could buy lotto tickets, beer, and cigarettes.
>>33738027>Same anonIt actually went bankrupt in April, and just a few weeks back, PCH said it won’t honor any previous contributions.So, I’m using this as an example for OP to see that people are fundamentally flawed, sometimes terminally so.>>33738138She ain’t entirely wrong. Those low trash things are part and parcel of poverty, but they do motivate people from their drudgery. As for the way she treated you, I see lots of low class people treat their children out of this same learned helplessness.Again, OP, I recommend you reframe it all and be vigilant. Once you get rid of one memory, you’ll start to see many and you’ll need to reframe them all. Eventually, it’ll be like thinking if an old gf and going from “my reason for living is gone” to “thank god that bitch is out of my life”.I also grew up low class and abused, so I know your struggle. For me, I willed myself into becoming a young virtuoso and graduating top of my class, but that never stopped the assault. Instead, I created a “mission statement” in my wallet to refer to. The first one was about “you’ve always been alone but this is your path and you must be prepared to walk it alone to succeed.”But yeah, avoid the resentment parade because it’ll spill everywhere else in your life.
