I am 23 years old and I have come to realize that I am completely loathed or ignored by all women. I walk around my college campus and I can't help but feel I am so invisible to all the women here. Whenever I have initiated the first move they are obviously creeped out and caught totally off guard and leave fast/act like they are busy . Whenever I ask for a number they either say no thanks or give it to me and ghost immediately. Getting the courage to even approach a girl is extremely difficult in itself because I don't wanna be seen as a creep but I've been rejected so many times now that even when I initiate I'm very hesitant to continue on conversations and get her number unless she shows obvious big interest, which never happens. In other words, I have lost confidence and hope. I guess I am just extremely offputting to women. I am 5'8", good muscle, probably 7/10 in looks, is that just not enough for women in my age group at college? I don't get it. Is my approach wrong?? I don't feel like I'm coming across as too needy. For example-- today I saw a girl I liked leaving class and said I like your braids and acted so weirded out "....uh.. thanks?" Was her response and I just didn't even continue talking to her from there Can someone please explain to me the game? Am I most likely just too ugly for must girls in my age group?
Bump
>>33739236Do you have a friend you can talk to about this who can be real with you. The situation is impossible to judge without actually knowing you as a person.
>>33739313I don't wanna bother them with negative talk like this. Knowing that I am a 7/10 in looks and everything I just said, what could possibly be the issue?
>>33739236Women are unfortunately actual demons and can never be understood. You’re not doing anything wrong. Wish i could help out more. What year of college are you in man? Also, i can at least definitely say that at least you’re doing all this in person instead of chasing the carrot on the stick, which is online dating/dating apps. Proud of you brother
>>33739349Thanks. I'm in my junior year of college.
Do zoomers actually talk to eachother in person? I thought you needed a phone as an intermediary. I think cold approaches without even the veneer of some kind of activity or setting is weird and I'm thinking those women are feeling the same.Youre also probably spilling spaghetti everywhere when you talk. How you walk, how you stand, the tone and inflection in your voice are all very important, not just how attractive you are. I'm imagining worst case when you said I l-like your braids haha. It's not what you say, it's how you say it.
>>33739324Could it be that you look threatening? If you approach women that don't know you well it can really scare them off.
>>33739370>>33739375I wouldn't say it's a cold approach. Its more at the right time when we are crossing paths and she isn't on her fucking phone with headphones in like every fucking woman seems to be
>>33739375>>33739370And also, I don't feel like I do it in a creepy manner. I usually say it in a normal tone like I would tell a dude I like his hat or something
>>33739388You are making giving advice very difficult. How well do you know them and could it be that you look threatening?
>>33739414Im not exactly licking my lips and rubbing my hands together I talk and look at them in a normal way.
>>33739429Threatening doesn't have to mean creepy.
>>33739442I don't know what else to tell you. I just say hey I like your braids like I would compliment a dude in the most non threatening and non creepy way that I can
>>33739446I'm talking about your physical appearance. You can be decent looking and look threatening at the same time. If you get together with women that already know you WELL this can even be a bonus.
>>33739466I guess that might be the thing. Maybe I'm just too ugly
>>33739236go international
>>33739504Might be the only hope
>>33739236Bump. Bro, I'm 22 and in your position kinda. I'm in my last year of uni.
>>33739236You have to get to know them first, dude.
>>33739236>Is my approach wrong??Literally yes. It sounds like you're approaching random girls literally out of the blue, instead of talking to girls you know, have a rapport with, or at least at an appropriate venue to do so (like a party or bar). As you said yourself, you're catching them off guard and girls don't like that.> I am 5'8", good muscle, probably 7/10 in looks, is that just not enough for women in my age group at college?Nonsense, of course it's enough.
>>33739558>>33739565I have tried to get to know them and build a rappoport. They don't want anything to do with me is the problem. I mentioned in the post the constant ghosting and rejections I faced.
>>33739598A rapport is built up over time. Not on sight or even after one conversation. And "nice hair or whatever, can I get your number now" is not a real conversation anyway. What exactly do you think you're giving these girls to work with?And they're not "ghosting" you because they never made any plans to begin with, nor are they obligated to. Come on man you're not even using the terms right here.
>>33739638So tell me how I can build a rappoport if every woman acts disgusted and seems like they want nothing to do with me just from greeting them or something? And they ghost me after maybe a little texting back and forth. For example, I got this one girls number last term and we talked a little bit back and forth and the last thing she texted me was that she was taking a trip in California and I said "oo that's cool! Where are you going there?" And I got ghosted
>>33739668>So tell me how I can build a rappoportOk first of all it's "rapport". Once is a typo, twice is not knowing the word. Sorry I had to get out of the way first.>if every woman acts disgusted and seems like they want nothing to do with meBecause you're going after girls left and right out of nowhere with no appropriate timing or even signs of interest from them. You're trying way too hard and just spamming approaches to put it in vidya terms. Which might work for some guys to be fair, but they're also doing it in the appropriate setting with receptive women and not randos just walking to and from class.>and I got ghostedNo you literally didn't because that's not what ghosting means.
>>33739699>>no appropriate timing or even signs of interest from them.Yes. That is exactly the fucking problem...
>>33739699>>Because you're going after girls left and right out of nowhereso what exactly are you supposed to do to get to know a girl? Wait for her to make the first move (which never happens)?
>>33739729Then oh well. Move on to someone else or else actually develop some game and learn how to talk to them.>so what exactly are you supposed to do to get to know a girl?How about after talking with her multiple times (in REAL LIFE, not over text like the girl who went to California) without trying to ask for her number or ask her out on sight. You shouldn't be trying to force anything or even worry about anything, just converse and flirt (if the vibe is right) like a normal person.If you've spam-approached all these girls you've got more balls than the average OP here, I'll give you that much. But in your case it's not helping. Most of these guys don't try at all but you sound like you have the opposite problem. You try too much and too hard and your expectations are too high. You have to chill out and reign yourself in a bit. Plus if you keep trying to talk to or ask out a bunch of girls who have no interest and you'll start to develop a reputation, and not a good one.
>>33739755I think you are getting the wrong Idea. I am not constantly hitting on every girl I see all the time. I actually have lost a lot of confidence to approach very much lately because of past rejections and ghostings
>>33739764>I think you are getting the wrong Idea.Maybe I am then. That's fair.What I suggest is you just talk to these girls casually, like you'd talk to anyone else, with no expectations until you get more comfortable in your own skin and start getting your confidence back. If you're cool around them they'll relax in turn and the ones who might be interested in you will make themselves known. If you act like a spaz, even the ones who might have been interested otherwise will be pushed away.Talking to girls is supposed to be fun. Just relax and enjoy the ride.
>>33739774Alright.. I'll keep at it the best I can I guess. Thanks
>>33739236>Is my approach wrong?? I don't feel like I'm coming across as too needy. For example-- today I saw a girl I liked leaving class and said I like your braids and acted so weirded out "....uh.. thanks?"Yeah, that's barely a compliment (I like the way your hair is currently today), nor is it a ice-braker or conversation platform unless you want to come off as kind of gay and talk about how you work at a hair salon and love doing hair braids and then give her the number of the hair salon that you work at in this alternative universe where you're a bisexual hairdresser.>>33739638>. And "nice hair or whatever, can I get your number now" is not a real conversation anyway.Exactly.>>33739739>so what exactly are you supposed to do to get to know a girl?(Taking over for the other poster)You have to be a guy with a personality and a lifestyle and hobbies and interests where you can either meet women organically, or you can easily use it as conversation platform when you notice women that share the same interests/lifestyle/etc as you.It has to be genuine as well, women and also guys as well can tell when someone is only badly pretending to be into something.You could be a literature nerd, a movie geek, a board game dork, a music geek, some sort of druggie party retard, etc.I don't know what your thing is though, all you did is describe what your legs look like and that you're sad because you were rejected by women.what do you for fun on weekends? what would you write on a dating profile?This is all basic, but essential
>>33743925>>You have to be a guy with a personality and a lifestyle and hobbies and interests where you can either meet women organically, or you can easily use it as conversation platform when you notice women that share the same interests/lifestyle/etc as you.I go to the gym frequently at my college where there is lots of women but you aren't allowed to approach them or it's considered rape. I go to bars but you can't talk to them at bars either because they are always in groups and reject me anyways. The truth of the matter is it doesn't matter if I go somewhere where women frequent because they aren't attracted to me and I am always rejected.
>>33743925>>what do you for fun on weekends? what would you write on a dating profile?I go to the gym, hike, and go to the bars and church on occasion.
>>33743937>you aren't allowed to approach them or it's considered rape.oh this is a troll thread, I'm sorry. Carry on ignoring the advice I gave you while bumping it for more replies that you can also ignore.
>>33743958I'm hyperbolizing of course but honestly you aren't allowed to approach women a lot of the time as it's considered creepy. And Im not ignoring the advice
>>33743953Yeah no sorry you still need to be into more things than that.Books, movies, music, even anime or video games, you're not into any of that you just sit there in an empty room in reflective silence after you come home from work/studies/gym ?
>>33739516maybe but thats not the point.even if you do well here, if you can do better elsewhere, why the fuck wouldnt you goi think guys try to make this into some meaningful spiritual journey. dude just go and be happy.
>>33743975>you aren't allowed to approach women a lot of the time as it's considered creepy.where do you think it's considered creepy to approach women?You said the gym - everywhere in the gym? at all times?Even during shit like group classes you don't think you're allowed to say hello to the girl(s) sitting or standing next to you on the yoga mats or cycling bikes? What about combat sports like boxing or BJJ, you're not going to introduce yourself to someone you see face to face on a weekly basis?You don't have to "approach" them with the most obvious metaphorical boner of trying desperately to ask them out within 5 minutes of meeting them. You can, and often should, just make small talk.
>>33743997>>Even during shit like group classes you don't think you're allowed to say hello to the girl(s)?I have no problem saying hello to a girl when the opportunity arizes. The problem is THATS NOT ENOUGH. They won't carry on the conversation.
>>33744006>the problem is THATS NOT ENOUGH. They won't carry on the conversation.Yeah no, like I said three posts ago and you've yet to address - you need to be into something cool and/or fun like fantasy literature or goth fashion or cinema in general or something like that, even if it's just modern video games or turn of the century silent films... anything at all my dudeIf you were to talk to the perfect girl, what would you be talking about?
>>33744062Unfortunately your advice of "being into something" is not helpful if girls are totally repulsed by me and reject/constantly ghost me when I try to to get to know them. I also have interests in debating, playing tennis, and hiking but there is no way to meet girls while I'm doing those things.
>>33739236Women can sense you're a creepy pervert deep down. Confess your disgusting fetishes and porn habits here right now and then abstain from it for at least 3 months.
>>33744110>Women can sense you're a creepy pervert deep downnot OP but is this actually true?
>>33744083Your hair and fashion may me a factor. How is your complexion? Acne etc. Smell?
>>33744140A lil bit of acne but not bad. Recently cut my hair short. Yeah im probably too ugly
>>33744083>Unfortunately your advice of "being into something" is not helpfulSee what I said earlier about you ignoring/disregarding advice?Trying to talk to a girl is a piece of cake when you're two oddballs dressed the same way somewhere, or she's holding one of your favorite books in her hands, or favorite music record, or she's wearing your favorite horror movie/anime/video game shirt, and/or you meet her at a movie festival or book fair or video games/anime/whatever convention or you both found yourself at the goth store, etc.Doesn't that sound better than "I like your braids" ?
>>33744174It is true to a degree imo. There's tells
>>33744193Good advice. Generic compliments like that can/will be a tell that you're talking to them just for their looks. I think that if a woman knows a man is only interacting with her to try and get laid/date it will be a turn off/she will rightfully avoid. You want to connect on a personal level. A shared interest, etc. Strike a convo about something that isn't her appearence. Yknow . Treat her like a human.
>>33739236I've been having this problem, too. It's not like I have a lack of interests. I'm passionate about history, specifically medieval French history from the years 900 AD through 1456, as well as the world wars. But that's a rather masculine passion, only gonna meet dudes in that field and most chicks just find it boring.I'm also pretty decent at literary and film analysis. I find analysis in general to be fun, but I particularly enjoy engaging with the ideas of a text or critiquing the cinematography of a film.And I love art. Used to be pretty good at it, I wanted to be an animator like what they used to do in old school Disney. But most chicks who draw seem to be really self conscious, compare themselves to you, and then resent you if they sense you're any bit better than them.Plus, idk. I've just noticed this overall very hostile vibes from chicks, it's really annoying now that I'm single again and trying to connect with someone.
/adv/ needs to ban both the assholes who start these threads and the assholes who "help" them.
>>33744083>playing tennis>there is no way to meet girls while I'm doing those things.So true! After all no woman in history has ever played tennis.
>>33744414>picKek, this reminds me of a gf I had in HS. She would unironically tell me, her family, her friends, anyone that she was the only thing that mattered and anything that gets in the way of her happiness immediately has to go. She ended up breaking up with me because i wouldn't have sex with her, lmfao
>>33739324>what could possibly be the issue?You smell badYou have a bad haircutYou dress like a 12 year oldYou dress like a CHUDYou wear shirts that say "cool story babe now make me a sandwitch"You have a perpetual scowl on your faceYou avoid all eye contactYou are fatYour estimation of 7/10 is greatly exaggerated.You have bad postureYou spent most of your life perfecting the art of avoiding responsibilitiesYou spent most of your life perfecting the art of avoiding all interaction with real humansYou spent the first month at your new avoiding all interactions with other humans. They remember this.In short, you have the ick.
>>33739236>I like your braidsDon't do this. Do not offer compliments to people you don't know. You have classes with her, so you can just say "hi" to her for a few days. Then, maybe you can get away with "hi. nice braids"
>>33744924If I were a Chad she would be flattered and love that compliment
>>33745105>If I were a ChadYou're not Chad, and most guys aren't Chad either but most guys still manage to talk to girls just fine and get girlfriend/married as well.
https://youtu.be/N7FVmeJXwCYWatch
>>33739236ditto. Almost 40 years old. Women either see me as a creep/weirdo (throughout all my life). All my jockey/drug addict friends has no problem with women. Even when they are lying about their status/job/income, they all manage to hit. Sometimes I wonder if there is a big dark cloud (woman repeller) hovering over my head that all women can see. And if they get too close and intimate they will instantly die. I have witnessed they would rather pick a guy that does heroine and get aids than to prioritize something healthy and good. I don't believe in curses and bad omens but dealing with women throughout most of my life has been torture and cringe. Maybe women are just soulless degenerate sperm buckets in this temporary irrelevant fucked up world. That is my impression so far. Islam has 100% right about women be their natural disposition. Modern western girls are cooked thanks to Satan and his perverted and wretched followers.
Coming from a girl myself, desu, appearances dont matter AS MUCH as ppl tend to think it does. It's how you act and how you carry yourself that matters!! If you go up to a girl all nervous and thinking you seem like a creep, she's going to notice! And in return think the same thing you do. So please try and be more casual and friendly! Eg: "Hey, I really like your braids!" Instead of "uh, hi, I like your braids.." Yk? (Apologies for the choppy english)Also timing is VERY important, if she has her headphones on, clearly looking like she's going somewhere in a hurry, dont bother her! But if she's lest say, sitting on a bench, scrolling thru her phone, theres ur chance!
>>33748202I'm not stupid and don't approach a girl when she looks busy. I only do it when the opportunity comes up and it isn't intrusive. I heard of and know the proper steps and methods of approach and I know how to play it cool. The problem is I'm rejected and ghosted even then, which is why I'm asking if my looks and height are the issue.
>>33748404>which is why I'm asking if my looks and height are the issue.and when we tell you it's not, you ignore the advice or argue against it.>>33744193>>Unfortunately your advice of "being into something" is not helpful>See what I said earlier about you ignoring/disregarding advice?>Trying to talk to a girl is a piece of cake when you're two oddballs dressed the same way somewhere, or she's holding one of your favorite books in her hands, or favorite music record, or she's wearing your favorite horror movie/anime/video game shirt, and/or you meet her at a movie festival or book fair or video games/anime/whatever convention or you both found yourself at the goth store, etc.>Doesn't that sound better than "I like your braids" ?instead you complain that you're not Chad, and like I posted earlier - only Chad is Chad. Most people aren't Chad and that doesn't stop them from getting with girls.
>women ignore me, because they are evil!>men aren't evil for killing women 24/7, no, women are evil for.. ignoring men!You can't make this shit up lmao. It's the feminine mentally ill male epidemic.
How do you make friends with a guy?Just do that. But this time it's a woman.And on the SECOND time you meet -- not the first -- you can start getting flirty.You are currently not doing what you'd do if you were just trying to be friends with a guy, and women are far more skittish than guys. Remember that you ARE scary just by dint of being a guy. You're going to get close to women by approaching them in a safe way in a safe environment with no pressure because otherwise they will rightly be scared off by you.That means stuff like saying to the girl you just did an in-class exercise with: "hey, do you want to get some lunch by the way?". You need an EXCUSE. You need a GOOD REASON. It does not mean you say to a random stranger who happens to be in your campus "hey, I like your braids".
>>33748424Anime and video games are stupid and for children. I have plenty of hobbies like tennis, the gym, and table tennis where I should be able to meet women but I can't because they aren't attracted to me and act completely repulsed by me when I try to make a move.
>>33748449I know how to act cool with a woman. I'm not a horny drooling bastard who asks to fuck right off the back. The problem is playing it cool doesn't WORK because she acts not interested and gives me one word replies. I've been ghosted for no reason as I explained earlier just for asking a girl what she did down in California.
>>33748463You're not reading what I said. I'm not telling you to "act cool". I'm telling you to do whatever it is you do to make male friends because you need to approach this like you're making a female friend.
>>33748476You're not understand. I'm approaching a woman the same way I'd approach a dude. That's what I mean playing it cool
>>33748453>Anime and video games are stupid and for children.I've met plenty of girls through those avenues, as have countless other guys.What about books, movies, music?I also go to the gym, but the gym isn't my entire personality and lifestyle.Even within just the gym world you can be a vegan, you can be a teetotaler, you can be a roid freak, you can be a social media wannabe influencers, etc.Those girls you see at the gym and tennis court - they go home and watch movies and listen to music and/or go to concerts or sit down with their favorite books or they clock in hours everyday into their favorite video game, etc.
>>33748479>hey dude, nice braidsthat's not how you would make friends with a guy, nor how you hook a girl to go on a date.
>>33743925Don't take this guy's advice, OP. Actually having hobbies and becoming someone more interesting is a trap, it will only make you realise just how boring, basic and brainrotted girls your age are.
>>33748524what's your advice? date other guys?
>>33739236>5'8Tbh even that is too short for many women nowadays. >7/10 in looksI don't know you, but maybe you are overestimating your looks? That's always possible Anyways, I'm the same age as you, in my last semester of uni and I'm an inch shorter than you. I was always shy to talk to girls irl so I usually never bothered. They never talked to or approached me anyway. I have only been involved with around two girls on campus but they dumped me after one date or a few days of talking. I just started following and texting random girls on Instagram who are in my city and it's the best thing I've done wrt women. Get a decent pfp of yourself though. Try that and see if you get results
>>33739236youre not the only one bro look at this fucking board. its not because you're ugly, ugly guys have reproduced all throughout human history. it's this fucking ZOGged out fake + gay feminist dystopia
>>33750611>>5'8>Tbh even that is too short for many women nowadays.doesn't matter, take it from me, if you were taller it wouldn't be any different. i'm 6'1 and i'm sick of seeing incels act like i must have it easy because i'm tall. It's not true. It's this fucking country, Jews did this to us, the social fabric of the nation has been destroyed. thank you feminists
>>33748404 well, could u maybe give a small description of what you look like? Unless you give off HEAVY and I mean HEAVY weirdo, freak vibes, then I wouldn't say ur looks are the problem. And unless ur shorter then the girl, u should also be fine. Maybe it's your voice?
>>33750748NTA but the way you type is cute.
