It's been 2 years since they left me and I still feel crushed and lost. I feel pathetic, weak, and creepy still holding onto it but I still can't seem to let go. I reflect on them and our 3 years living together everyday. I miss our old apartment. I have my good days and bad days. Good days when I can process things and shake them off. Bad days when things just linger and are deeply piercing and painful like today... It was my birthday 2 days ago and I broke down again as I did last year. I shared the same birthday with a friend.. it was supposed to be our special day. we went out with friends. I was flirting with someone but I just ended up stepping away and breaking down in front of him before disappearing home. I just looked around, dissociated, feeling so empty and alone without them. "How did I get here?". He's a good warm friend and understood without me having to say anything..I'm still financially sound, living on my own, and have been with many people since them. Two brief serious situationships which just ended up in me walking away because I couldn't. I've never had any trouble in that department. I'm charming and attractive enough to be able to court people but it's just hasn't been the same. I was in bed with someone stunning recently but all I could do was stay up all night laying next to them just feeling empty and wondering why I was even there. They picked up on my sadness and ended things with me after 3 dates. This happens constantly. It's loneliness I guess. I can't run away through sex like I used to. It just feels lonelier.It painfully hurts me so much to see them with someone else. I'm happy they're happy and successful. I want nothing but the best for them. Still though...My heart is sunk. I've been drinking again these past 5 days. It's 4am. I can't sleep.. I've never felt so miserable.I don't know who to talk to about this anymore. I feel so pathetic. I feel nothing but shame and ugly.I still deeply love you and miss you everyday.
Haha yeah…that 4am and your brain is too fucked too sleep shit(I mention the time in my thread which you can check out if you please https://boards.4chan.org/adv/thread/33740972) Anyway yeah, that was well written, and you really have serious insights into yourself and actual clarity about some of reality, it seems, that’s a feature of yours people can’t take and would be a benefit to any liver. This pain may be part of life though, it’s annoying to hear, but pain really makes you a better person, in incalculable ways. You might wanna hear my grand theory for getting you this guy back, but honestly, I feel you on how deep emotions can run when you click with someone, but I think the way you wake up tomorrow happiest is if you were able to gain a deep trust in yourself, the path you’re charting, and your final destination(trust not certainty) anyway the journey of self realization never ends I hope things can feel good again for you, sucks to be in a funk but I bet you can kick it
>>33741007get fucked, whore. This is what sleeping around and cheating gets you in the end.He very likely hates your guts and wishes you were dead, rightly so judging by your post.t.guy in basically the same situation as you. Pissed 4 years down the drain 2 years ago and I still hurt. But would rather die than hear from her ever again
>>33741053Go to sleep pal, you'll get em tomorrow.
>>33741007Who is they?
>theyWhy do women type like this? We know that you are a woman talking about a man.
