That's pretty much it. We started dating a few months ago and she just told me yesterday she wanted to go on a trip with 4 male friends so they can party and go to the beach for a few days.She's never had anything with them because that's something I asked her when I first met them and they look like a bunch of faggots, they don't lift and they don't know how to fight, my girlfriend told me once I could very easily smack the shit out of all of them if I wanted to because one of them came to me saying "you better treat her right" and I couldn't stop myself from laughing"Now the thing is she told me about this 5-days-long trip she was planning and I told her I would leave her if she decided to do it.She started telling me how I was preoccupied when I shouldn't, that she had done more trips like this one in the past and that she'd never be friends with someone who showed her interested (this is obviously fake btw women don't care about this).I told her it was a personal boundary and that she could either accept it and not go or buy the plane tickets but that I'd leave her on the stop, I was dead serious and she just told me she wouldn't go, but was visibly mad.Did I do the right thing?
Insecure.
>>33760668No, you didn't. You showed you don't actually trust her and ruined that relationship. You should just leave her and find a woman you do trust.Also "preocuparse" is "worried", being preoccupied is like being distracted
>>33760668You sound so insecure.You don't trust the person you call your girlfriend enough to not cheat on you with 4 "faggots". You feel the need to tell us you go to the gym and that you lift and make the post with a picture of a body builder. If you were really secure in your own body you wouldn't have had the need to tell us you lift and you can "smack the shit out of them" nor would you have asked her not to go on the trip in the first place.The best advice I can give is break up with her and work on becoming secure in yourself before committing to a relationship because your insecurities are causing friction and damaging your relationship.
>>33760689Would you just let you girlfriend put herself in absolutely despicable scenarios just because you "trust" her?There's something called respect, and that's what your partner needs to show towards you by not putting herself in certain situations.
>>33760696I used to think this way in the past but I got viciously cheated on so I can't stop myself from being this way
>>33760704>absolutely despicable scenariosit's only absolutely despicable because you think it is. You are making it that by thinking about what can happen with 4 guys and 1 girl, you've catastrophized this event in your own mind either consciously or subconsciously. You need to work on yourself, this whole situation is an imagined slight. >>33760711>I used to think this way in the past but I got viciously cheated on so I can't stop myself from being this waymy point exactly
>>33760719I'm OP and I did not write the first comment btw just the second one.
>>33760725Still applies to you.
Have your girlfriend go drinking with 4 young male friends, such that you're just a drink or two away from ruining something you've built together for months. OP may trust his gf but there's always a risk she gets too drunk and then he's gotta trust the 4 young horny men to not do something stupid. xDDDd just trust her you're so insecure!!! Drugs change people, mistakes happen. Any real caring man would be protective of his gf, not indifferent
>>33760711I get that it is really hard to trust again, but relationships need trust to be healthy and survive.You have two bad options: 1) Don't trust your gf and ruin your relationship, or 2) Trust your gf even though you might be wrong about her and she could cheat on you and hurt you. You have to trust your gf even though you risk being hurt by her
>>33760732>he's gotta trust the 4 young horny men to not do something stupidI've been drunk alone with women quite literally hundreds of times, I've also been with multiple men and a single woman drunk hundreds of times.There has never been a time where anyone had done anything that stepped over peoples boundaries, especially if it was known that a woman had a BF that wasn't there. I don't know what kind of sub-human friends you have that you can't trust them to be alone with a woman with a BF. If you can't trust the woman to not do something stupid why are you with her, if she can't trust her friends not to rape her why is she friends with them? >Drugs change people, mistakes happen.I've done Mushrooms, LSD, MDMA, Weed and other shit with women and I've never done more than hug a girl without her consent, MDMA I was more touchy feely with people than I normally would be but I still asked first. >Any real caring man would be protective of his gf, not indifferentThere is being protective and there is being insecure. You say to her that if she needs anything from you, if she needs you to come to her because someone is being rapey you will come to her no matter the distance. You don't assume that she's the one being promiscuous because it's your girlfriend and you're supposed to trust her and if you don't trust her what the fuck are you doing with her in the first place?
>>33760762The fact that OP came here asking for advice already tells you he doesn't know if he did the right thing
>>33760770because he knows he is insecure yet he came here to seek validation and has been shit on for being a pussy, likely closed the thread and wont read and take in the info because it doesn’t validate his feelings.
>>33760773Wdym? I'm right here reading everything, why would I close a thread if I specifically wanted people to tell me their thoughts on the situation?
>>33760777then read all of the replies, formulate some thoughts, write them down and hit post.
>>33760668Did she not invite you to go on the trip?
>>33760668A girl in a relationship shouldn't be in social places where people go drink, flirt and party.You stood for your own boundaries and that's a good thing. Period. People who think they are showing some kind of virtue by saying "I would totally let her go" are the real insecure ones, because they don't have the balls to stand form themselves.Since this is the advice board, I will give you advice: Plan to do something cool with her as compensation. She has a boyfriend and you guys should do stuff together. Take her out, or plan some vacations. You stood your ground and she respected it, you should treat her nice and give something in compensation.
>>33760668If you showed us a photo of them, I could tell instantly. With questions like this people ignore that the socio economic status and race of the people matter a lot. If you girlfriend is a Quirk Chungus and the guys are all skinny dweebs then they can be trusted. If they are turbo-normies or dysgenic trash then no you can't trust them.But that aside, you don't have the right to tell someone what to do after dating only after a few months. Although it's sus that she has so many male friends isntead of female friends.
>>33760862>You stood for your own boundaries and that's a good thing.the boundaries that are there because he's insecure as fuck?this entire take is clown material apart from doing stuff with your girlfriend but that's a fucking given in a relationship you stupid fuck lol
>>33760865>If you showed us a photo of them, I could tell instantly.no you really couldn't.
>>33760865She does have female friends too, and it's not like I told her what to do, I just said I didn't want that in my relationship, it was her choice
>>33760737>You have to trust your gf even though you risk being hurt by herYou say this based on what? Projection? >>33760668OP the people in this thread are either gay, virgins, or both. I also had a 5 year relationship, in the end of it she cheated on me and left me for that person. We lived together for 4 years and had a great relationship, after I saw she's not willing to reconcile, I ended itI'm still very torn over the question of, where is the line drawn, with my gf having male friend and me having female friends? So far I want to draw it at hanging 1 on 1 with the opposite genderBut I really don't know how it will go with future gf'sI know that I'd want to be prioritizedThere's a good chance that from now on and until the rest of eternity, I will always have female friends. Because I don't like being out of options. I never, EVER want to be again in the position that I was in when she cheated on me - alone, defeated, out of options for dating.So one thing I know for sure, is that her going on a several day vacation with several dudes is a no go. If the genders were reversed, it would be insanity. In such a case, I'd only allow it if she's not my gf. If she's my gf I wouldn't allow it.Unless it's an open relationship and we BOTH go on a partying beach vacation with exclusively the opposite gender.Nah man, you're too old for this, too wise, don't fall for this bullshit. I really tried to imagine but I can't imagine a scenario where my dear girlfriend goes and parties for several days with a bunch of dudes. That's a party girl behavior, not a girlfriend behavior. And any man who tells you otherwise is either a cuck, or someone who wants you to allow this to happen because they wish for nothing more than for you to suffer as they do
>>33760883>the boundaries that are there because he's insecure as fuck?No, I believe that you are what specialists call a "limp wristed faggot". I didn't know there so many of you on this board.This thread got the same response it would've gotten if it were made on reddit.
>>33760737This is so stupid lol. Almost like it was written by a woman.
>>33760891Trusting someone implies that they can break your trust and, if your trust is broken, you get hurt.
>>33760668>Did I do the right thing?No. You made it clear that you are an incredibly fragile, jealous, insecure, whiny little faggot. You also made it clear that you are ready to break up with her instantly for no good reason, so you don't actually like her or care about her very much. And you made it clear that you don't trust her. None of that was good.Probably the best option would have been to join them on the trip. Failing that, simply trusting her would have been a good option. It would also have been a bit less bad if you had calmly, politely, and respectfully explained how you felt about the situation and *asked* her not to go. Chances are she would have been older with that. But giving her an ultimatum and threatening to break up with her on the spot was just nauseating. There is no way you could have handled that worse.
>>33760919>You made it clear that you are an incredibly fragile, jealous, insecure, whiny little faggot.That's exactly how you sound writing this. I do not understand the phenomenon of the incel getting furious because someone didn't allow their girl to behave as a whore.Maybe they think they will be more deserving of pussy if they let women walk all over them.Reddit tier response, really.
>>33760895>No, I believe that you are what specialists call a "limp wristed faggot".I don't really care what sub 80 IQ tards think.
>>33760668everyone in this thread is retarded, and perhaps a faggot. I have a female friend that lets me flirt with her all the time regardless of if shes in a relationship. >she'd never be friends with someone who showed her interestedthey all say this and its never true
>>33760929>didn't allow their girl to behave as a whoreby going out with her friends? Holy shit you're a fucking incel with no experience of the real world
>>33760958>friends with a whore>every woman must be a whoreGuys look its Einstein.
>>33760862I happen to agree with you. OP should speak up about something he is uncomfortable with, state his position, but leave it up to her what she does with the information. If you feel you need to threaten with the nuclear option then you and your partner are not, nor will ever be, on the same page. What OP isn't acknowledging is the difference between what he considers normal behavior in a relationship and what this girl, hes only been dating a few months, considers normal. This is telling OP early in the relationship what he will face throughout, he should take heed and search for another person to invest his time and emotion into. The girl op is seeing is not ready for a real committed relationship. Its absurd to be in a relationship and go on holiday with 4 men and she the only female.
>>33760959>by going out with her friends?lol, she is not simply "going out with friends", I shouldn't have to explain this. Stop pretending to be dumb and oblivious, it's not a good argumentative technique.
>>33760958I think your friend is just slutty
>>33760985Whatever you say incel, the world is a real place and it's different from the made up place in your head.
OP could have been more diplomatic, but I think his stance is valid. They only know each other for a couple of months. Trust is something that is built up over time. It is way too early for her to go on a trip with just dudes. If she really cares for him, she would not even consider going on a trip that is taxing on his psyche. She should not be angry that he doesn't want her to go. She should have asked him beforehand if he would be at peace of mind if she put herself in such a position.@OP: Did she even ask you to come with her? Do they often spend time in this constellation without partners?BTW: Could anyone imagine a married wife to go on a vaccation like this? Why should it be ok in an early relationship phase
>>33760972Finally, another human being who I can have a conversation with.>If you feel you need to threaten with the nuclear option then you and your partner are not, nor will ever be, on the same page.I feel like this is a bit, like, masquerading your feelings because you don't feel comfortable with them.See, if you say "I'm not comfortable with you traveling with your friends", and she does it anyways, then the relationship is as good as over. The outcome will be the same. I don't feel OP was threatening her, only coming straight. But I see your point.>The girl op is seeing is not ready for a real committed relationship.Call me silly, but I think "he can fix her". Either that or like, 80% of young girls are not relationship material.
>>33760991You fit so much in picrel it's not even funny, just pathetic.
>>33760668You set a boundary.Follow through.
>>33760987yeah thats why i like her
>>33761018Ok. What ever helps you feel better about yourself.
>>33760668Gonna say it OP the deflecting on your stronger than them is clear case of her covering up how she knows its wrong and something going to happen. Either she using these guys for free vacation half expecting something to happen. Or just does not give a shit about how feel in the moment and wants to have her cake and eat it too. If you have past trauma or trust issue let her know and also Its crazy she did not even want or make plans for you to go or atleast pay your way herself.
I don't think it's mutually exclusive.OP can both be right to be concerned about his girl going to a trip with all male friends while also being insecure.Granting that, there are still a few questions I would have. Are her male friends single? If not, are they bringing their gf's? Why is she not inviting you? Why did she allow the relationship to go exclusive knowing she had this planned? Where are they going and what are they doing (is it something like Miami/Las Vegas + clubs + doing drugs?).Also my experience, they may be scrawny nerds but attraction by proximity is a thing. A Stacy was once into me because we were of the same culture in a job so we could relate. It ultimately didn't work out because our lifestyles were waaay different, but my point is that if you're hanging out with someone for a long time you're bound to find a spark with that person.
>>33760668You did good OP. Is not right or wrong, is just your personal boundary and she either accept it or not and leave. You saved yourself a lot of headache arguing with her not to go and/or wondering what happened on the trip.
>>33760762I work in a restaurant, when my coworkers drink they cheat. Even the prude ones
>>33761310Your coworkers are weak minded.
>>33761317Every woman is weak minded
>>33761321Incel.
>>33761325Yea, and? OP is 100% in the right
>>33760668Would she let you go on a 5 day trip along with 4 female friends?Whether you did the right thing is based on that answer
>>33760888Yes I really could, and other people really could too. "You can't judge someone from looking at them" is P.C. bullshit for idiots and autistic NPCs.
>>33760668You set a boundary and that's goodAnd your gf should know going on a trip with only make friends is off limits when your in a relationship no matter what
>>33760668Why doesn’t she have any fucking female friends to go with?You’re dating a whore
>>33761330>Would she let you go on a 5 day trip along with 4 female friends?Exactly.Whether you did the right thing is based on that answer.Nah, OP did the right thing regardless. And we all know her answer, to be honest.
>>33760668sorry op, she's a whore
>>33761009>all me silly, but I think "he can fix her". Either that or like, 80% of young girls are not relationship materialIts all about timing. Getting in with someone that really isn't ready yet only exhaust both of you and builds resentment. Most young adults bristle at someone taking the parent role and treating them as a child even if they are acting like a child. My point is this girl will fuck up and fuck up and fuck up again because she isn't ready to give up those trips yet with all those guys. To her thats how she lets of steam and has a good time and damn how it appears from the outside.
>>33761494>You have to let her jump on the cock carrousel and enjoy her best years by whoring out with guys. Then she will be ready to settle.I do not feel comfortable with this.>Getting in with someone that really isn't ready yet only exhaust both of you and builds resentment.That's true.
>>33760668Why don't you go with her?
>>33761749Obviously, he wasn't invited.
>>33760704>Would you just let you girlfriend put herself in absolutely despicable scenarios just because you "trust" her?NTA but that's exactly what trust is. Trust isn't putting the cookie jar away inside of a locked safe behind a locked cabinet that's hidden behind a dresser - it's letting the cookies sit right there in the open and trusting that she won't eat them.reminds me of that poster who said that he "trusted" his pregnant gf or wife or whatever it was, but that he would be forcing her to get a paternity test.
>>33762230Then why didn't he insist on going instead of insisting she doesn't go. Then if she says he can't go then you know it's sus and she's the asshole. Instead OP comes off controlling.
>>33762267>Then why didn't he insist on going instead of insisting she doesn't go.same difference
>>33760668Don't ever date a woman with close male friends, first of all. Don't ever date a female with homosexual friends second of all. She seems like a retard but you seem like a cuck. Why wouldn't she invite you? That seems like the logical compromise. Ignore all these retards talking about trust. It's not about trust, or paranoia or insecurity. This is all female coded gaslighting. It's about your personal boundaries and you need to put your foot down. If she's willing to go out with her male friends despite your protestations she's not worth your time anyway. Set boundaries up front, and stick to them
>>33762267I fail to see the difference.You guys worry too much about signaling fake virtue.
>>33760777I think you did the right thing, if you hadn't already done it people would be telling you to do just that.If you didn't tell her not to you'd be a cuck.
>>33762329OP is already engaging in stupid female mind games so he has to play along or get cucked. Why don't you say ok babe go on vacation and i'll invite my ex GF over while you are gone. You have nothing to worry about. Mutually assured destruction. She will end it or cancel the trip.
>>33762429That sounds so silly. It only sounds cool inside your immature head.OP handled the situation nicely. He stood for his boundaries. She was free to do whatever she wanted and she took her decision.
>>33760668gj on spilling your spaghetti and laying your insecurities bare. She know knows you are scared of getting cucked by a bunch of literal söyboys she even put down in front of you to soothe said insecurities. >>33760711So you're going to let atht cheating chick freely top you in every relationship fo rthe rest of your life? Beinga bit paranoid after that is understandable, but its very important to not project it on all other women and recognize your paranoia as a "you" problem. If I couldn't trust a girl in this situation, she wouldn't be my gf.
>>33760668well played anon. at best a male friend (kek) will of course try to fuck her and she will refuse and will lose a "friend" in the processat worst she will cheat or get rapedwomen simply don't get this stuff; make the decision for her.t. already did similar and will do again
>>33760668Nah, you did good.Few months was nothung worth crying over anyways, back to the streets she goes.
>>33760929I'm no incel, mate - in large part because I don't behave like OP. I don't get into serious relationships with women I don't trust; and so far, that trust has always been rewarded. (And I'm getting quite middle-aged now, so this has been working well for a long time). Spending time with friends is not "acting like a whore" - *that* is incel thinking.
>>33765905men and women can't be friends, moron
>>33765905Listen, the first point I'd like to address is that this is in no way simply "spending time with friends", it's dishonest to portray it as such. Read my previous response >>33760985>that trust has always been rewarded.This leads us to the second point. Suppose you were to go out for a week of partying with four female friends, and no, you're not inviting your girl to come with.I'd love to see what your partner, that you trust so much, would have to say about.It's not about trust. It's about unacceptable behavior for someone that is committed to a relationship.I bet your girl would promptly deny you, because she is not dumb as you are, and she understands such adventure is not appropriate for an engaged man.
>>33765911t. Steve Harvey
If you don't let your girl get gangbanged & spitroasted by 4-8 dudes you're insecure btw. The most confident & secure thing you can be is a cuckold who defers to your girl in every possible scenario imaginable.
>>33760668I approve of your decision.That is all.All the best.
>>33760668Your mistake was finding a woman who thought it acceptable to go on a trip with a bunch of dudes and party. That said, maintaining close friendships with opposite sex parties while in a committed relationship is naturally going to be a source of anxiety for a lot of people. While I agree and align with what you said in the OP, it does come off as weak. You do not need to explain to others having a standard. The people that are criticizing you the most loudly probably don't have the level of personal success or experience to be anything but hypocrites.I made a choice when I got married to step back from associating with women that I knew including past exes. My wife also does not have male friends. This was not done out of spite or insecurity, but realizing that the society that we exist in is inherently degenerate. When you wade in filth, you are always risking getting covered in it.I would not doubt that your girl's "friends" would have ulterior motives and you are perfectly right to not place your woman into a position that could imperil your relationship. You are the man. You are meant to lead and choose the right path.While I don't want to wade too much into morality, take your wife to church to find better role models for the both of you.
>>33766368my female shrink told me this, having friends of the opposite sex in your adulthood is either unrequited crush cope or ulterior motive slimeballs.
>>33766694>my female shrinkKek
>>33762295>Don't ever date a woman with close male friends, first of all. Don't ever date a female with homosexual friends second of all.Honestly, why?I mean, if I, a man, have a close female friend, does that mean she should be single for ever?
>>33760762You're a pussified beta male so of course you've never even thought about making a move. You're not a middle IQ weel-adjusted normie who will just fuck whatever he can get away withI have a professional colleague who once took me back to her place after the bars closed while her fiance was gone. She 100% wanted me to make a move but I hate female drama and don't want to be an "other man." But yeah you're a fucking idiot if you don't think inhibition lowers after drinking
>>33760668The people posting the same thread over and over for months don't seem to realize the people who notice, vastly outnumber them.Is this a vertical slide thread or general demoralization thread or academic research thread or pitiful attempt at de-radicalization? Who cares, what matters is its boring seeing this one endlessly repeated.At least post a new one, OK? Use your LLM and 4chanpost.py script to send us something new.
>>33767034Just because this instance is AI generated doesn't mean that it doesn't happen all the timeGoing out to drink and party with men without my supervision has been and always will be a dealbreaker for me. We ALL know why you want to do it.
