So basically, I had this guy. Let’s call him Mr. M. He’s 24, from Russia, and I’m 19, Arab (already off to a great start). The first time we talked in VC, I was like, holy shit, he’s adorable. I would’ve done anything to be with him. He actually cared about first impressions. Who even does that anymore? His voice was so cute too. I still miss it.He wasn’t my first crush, but he was my first love. Polite, kind—at first. 4chan humor, Silent Hill, Resident Evil, great taste in music. But he’s also very mentally ill. BPD and something called Persistent Mood Swings. By the time I found out, I was already gone for him.At first it was great. We’d VC, I’d stream games, and he’d actually watch me play through Silent Hill. No one else ever cared like that. Then he started unfriending me randomly. Panic at first, then I got used to it. Then he got sent to the psych ward. I waited a month. He came back, apologized, said he’d try to be better. But the cycle never stopped. Loving, mean, gone, sorry. Again and again.He couldn’t afford his meds, so he just ran out eventually. Then drama with a mutual friend happened, and poof—gone again. I messaged him later, started casual, then asked what happened. He said I ruined his day. That was that. Until I messaged him again out of boredom. He replied, we talked, I showed him my cat. Told him I was depressed (turns out I’ve got severe depression and autism, fun times). He said he missed me. And then, like clockwork, he pushed me away again.And now I’m stuck. I know he’s not good for me. He made me cry so many times. But I still love him. He’s just too damn cute. I hate it. I wish I could forget him, but I can’t. Still, I’m glad I met him. For all the pain, there was love, and I’ll always be a little grateful for that.
>>33762603>I wish I could forget him, but I can’t.You can, you just don't want to. You're an addict, and he is your addiction. To get over him you need to systematically remove from your life literally *everything* that reminds you of him. Delete every message he ever sent you. Throw away any letter. Throw away or sell every object you own that is in any way associated with him. Never go anywhere you went with him.. Never eat or drink anything you ate or drank with him. Never listen to anything, watch anything, or play anything you associate with him. And every single time you find yourself thinking about him even for a moment, immediately distract yourself. Most of all, never let yourself get lonely or bored: those are the worst things for an addict. Fill your life with other things and other people.
>>33762914Yeah, I guess I'm addicted to him. That's fair. Most things we did were online, so it's not that hard. But... I love Silent Hill and Resident Evil. Silent Hill, he low-key introduced me to it. I know it existed, but I didn't know it was that good. Oh, well.
Manipulative.
>>33762603are you a guy or a girl
>>33762603You will not be able to move past him, if you do not find someone else to fill that role in your heart and mind.
>>33762603Your friend sounds fun to be around, your friend together with you sound like double the fun (and a massive disaster waiting to happen). Having been in something vaguely similar I would say try taking MDMA together, best case scenario it fixes the mental problems of the both of you, worst case scenario you make good memories together because you're both happy thanks to ecstasy. Just my two eurocents.
>my first loveare you gay
>>33763701am a dude bi by the way. you know, bi like, bi myself>>33763706 idk but I don't think I'll find someone that'll make me feel the same way, or anything close to be it, honestly. And this is gonna sound a bit pathetic, maybe a little envious, but I have two friends. They're together. Lovely people. They're very cute together. But seeing them together makes me a bit sad, because I think to myself, I could've had a partner like that. But oh well>>33763769We kinda got a relationship like Snake and the boss. Like, I don't think he's like my friend or my partner or enemy it's a bit weird like that
