Almost 21 and a miserable genetic and psychological dead end that will only get worse. Rotted alone for over a decade missing out on my best years and resenting everyone, lost interest in everything and being from England, I see no future in this grim place but can't leave. For so long I've tried to change myself but no dice.At the same time, I don't want to put my family through pain by killing myself. The idea has become more alluring as I've started to cope about maybe being reborn into a better life but I know that's nonsense. I can't bring myself to do it anyway.I don't know what to do about being trapped as a retard who cannot act normal or improve herself in any way and is miserable like this but unable to neck myself. Genuinely what can I do? Even if I could change the motivation isn't there, I'm still stuck in this country and I've spent so long despising normal people, lifestyles and relationships that it'll take years to undo that conditioning. It might be too late.
You're a white female, chill, you don't have it that bad
>>33774784I’m privileged but that hasn’t been able to help me thus far so I doubt I’m going to coast along purely from who I am.
>>33776055Also,
>>33776558Yeah but I’ve been aware of the way I am and tried to change since my mid teens. I’m still young but at some point you realise that some people won’t change regardless of their age.
You are but a child, take small steps every day, nigga
>Almost 21>Rotted alone for over a decade missing out on my best yearsWho the fuck thinks that ages 10-20 are their best years? You have no independence. You have to beg your family for money. You live in a little room and spend all your time at school. Go outside.
>>33776825>Who the fuck thinks that ages 10-20 are their best years?Any sane person
>>33776873Those years of my life were hell, I'm much better off now.
>>33776873>be me, 13yo>mom wont cook me tendies>no job>virgin>teacher gave me homeworkIs it over bros?
>>33776873Anyone who is an absolute cuck with no independence in their adult years. It's pathetic. Imagine becoming an adult, finally able to do what you want when you want and all you can think of is how you want to go back to being a teenager LMAO skill issue
>>33777090>wanting to go back != acknowledging the good yearsNow enjoy your cagie, wagie>inb4 I love muh jobcope it out, wagie>>33777067good for you
>>33777114If you think I'm a wagie you havent read my post you drooling retard. What good years?>everybody had a good childhood because the world is all rainbows all the time, people do nothing but dance in a circle barefoot singing kumba ya foreverreddit
>>33774662Nah you'll be reborn into a better life<or will you
>>33776825Could’ve phrased that better but I’ve missed out on a lot of core experiences that I won’t get a chance at again and I’m stunted. It’ll take me years to catch up to where my peers were as a teen. I don’t think the regret will stop.>>33777145If rebirth is real there’s a 5% chance of being born anywhere good so I’ll hope but won’t hold my breath.
>>33777717Another "core experiences" loser. There are no "core experiences". You live or you don't.
turn to Christ, he loves you and cares for you and wants a relationship with you, if you open your heart to him and ask him for help he will help you
>>33777780I’ve been thinking about it but I’ve never been a believer nor have my family so I’m not sure if I’ll fully buy into it.
