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Don't know why all of this is happening to me.
I feel so alone. I have my roommates and they are my friends but for some reason I can't stop feeling alone. Two of them are in relationships and do their own thing most of the time and the other one I love but is just super intense sometimes. They're (particular roommate is non binary) dear to my heart but they can be incredibly intense and I can't deal with them all the time. Despite living with my friends I can't help but feel alone all the time. Why am I like this?
I'm constantly anxious and it feels to debilitating, Like the world is going to end and I'm at constant threat. My chest always feels tight and its annoying. I'm also disassociating a lot for some reason.
I hate living in my body. Sometimes I realize that I'm living in my flesh and it makes me so mad and literally disgusted. Like this is the body of a monster. When I was a kid, I'd look in the mirror and be disgusted. I still do, but now its not just visceral disgust of my face. It's my entire body. It's not even because of weight or anything. I just literally feel like a monster.
There's other issues but I'm too lazy to type it. I'm exhausted and miserable and I'm afraid I'm going to relapse on depression again and am afraid of actually going through killing myself since the last time I almost died. How do I become mentally healthy again? Just so so tired
>>
>>33775195
you may feel super lonely when others are in relationships
>constantly anxious
this may be trauma from home (cptsd)
>>
>>33775269
I had typical suburb child life. Depressed but played video games. Listened to music. Good at school. Quiet. Nothing severe its typical with at least 40% of usa teens



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