I need some advice for how to let down this girl down as easy as possible. We haven't been out on any real official "dates," but basically when we've hung out, it's been very much like a date. She's super nice, smart, and we have fun, but I don't think I'm into her that way or ready to put in the effort.She was pushing to hook up last night, and seemingly wants to get together this week or weekend. I probably have to put an end to it tomorrow, and I bet she'll accuse me of overthinking it or leading her on.Any suggestions?
>>33798532To avoid leading her on, you should tell her, "It's been great hanging out with you, but I feel like you want to date and I'm just not ready for a romantic relationship right now, sorry"
>>33798548But that would ruin op's larp.
>>33798548Honestly, wouldn't that just lead into a "but why not" conversation? She knows all of the dumb shit going on in my life. I don't have a lot going for me at the moment. Maybe more than many, but in my opinion, not much. I kinda already told her this a while back and it hurt her feelings, so I relented and we got back to talking.>>33798579Genuinely not a larp. It's not like I'm talking about Sydney Sweeney.
>>33798628Just be honest, who fucking cares if her feelings are hurt, they are meant to be hurt, too fucking bad, at least it'll help her in the long run. What's wrong with talking anyway, just be friends , all we got ta doooooo is
>>33799312I mean, I've been on the receiving end of being turned down but never like... before actually making a move. I suppose I could keep hanging out and just stonewall her if she tries to kiss me or something, but I don't know. I might be drunk and think it sounds like a good idea at the time, but then just left things get worse.
>>33798532Four things you need to understand here: 1) You CAN'T "let her down gently".2) If you try, you will make things WORSE. 3) You have been leading her on. 4) The longer you wait before telling her you're not interested, the more damage you will do. So, you need to man up and tell her "Look, I'm sorry, you're lovely, but I just don't feel that way about you", and you need to do it NOW. Every day you put it off makes things worse.
>>33801029Not sure if you're still around, but there aren't any more subtle ways to do this? Like if we hang out, make it at places that are friendly or around others? Just slowly give her the drift I'm not interested?I feel like I'm just flat out insulting her if I just text her out of the blue "hey, I'm not interested in you" since it's just going to sound like "hey I don't think you're attractive."
>>33802750Just ghost her like a real man
>>33798532I don't think this is the right question for 4chan people Just ask a friend, preferably a female friend they are better at this
>>33805028do not ever take advice from women about relationships/dating. they simply have no clue about the challenges and difficulties of dating as a normal man nowadays.>>33798532>She was pushing to hook up last nightwhat's the issue there? is she a landwhale or something?
>>33802750>Not sure if you're still around, but there aren't any more subtle ways to do this? Like if we hang out, make it at places that are friendly or around others? Just slowly give her the drift I'm not interested?Jesus fucking Christ, NO! This is exactly what I mean by saying that if you try to "let her down gently" you'll make things worse. If you do this, she will immediately realise *something* is wrong, but won't know what. She'll blame herself, wonder what it is she's done wrong, spend days and weeks torturing herself trying to figure it out, try being extra nice to you in order to "fix" things (when you know all along there's nothing to fix), try harder and harder, get more and more upset about the fact that nothing she is trying seems to be working, and then finally (after weeks of this shit) she will realise that you're breaking up with her - and at that point she'll be every bit as upset as she would have been if you'd made a clean break right at the start, AND she will have had weeks of uncertainty and panic and blaming herself on top of that. Lying to her about how you feel will make things so much worse. If you really care about her, stop being a coward and rip off the band aid.
>>33805043>what's the issue there? is she a landwhale or something?She's not a landwhale but she isn't particularly attractive. I wouldn't say like insanely ugly, but just very, very plain. On top of it all, my house really isn't cleaned up or ready for sex and I'd really just rather jerk off than deal with having her want to spend the night or something, or taking it even more seriously. I've had too much regret sex in my life.>>33805028My friends are mixed on this. Most of them say to tell her and break off all contact, but there's still some who say to just wait until she makes an issue of it.>>33805107>realise that you're breaking up with herWe're not in a relationship. We've hung out a few times. It seems overly harsh to tell her I just don't like her at all though.The newest problem is that she's invited me to go see a movie tomorrow. I've said yes but before we go I probably need to tell her I'm only looking to be friends. I don't know.
>>33807041>It seems overly harsh to tell her I just don't like her at all though.Being honest is better than giving her false hope.
Just be honest and upfront. I’d text since there’s not been anything serious.“Hey! I’ve had such a great time hanging out with you and learning more about you. You’re honestly awesome!I wanted to be honest with you rather than just fade out - but I’m not feeling a romantic connection. I get the sense you might be interested in taking things further, and I don’t want to lead you on or waste your time. I hope you understand. Take care“
The girl had to cancel our movie plans until next week so I'm free from worry for at least a week. Phew.
