Throughout my life i have failed at basically everything i have ever sought out to do. I have been rejected most of my life both romantically and socially and due to this plus the failures ive had my self esteem is very low, My self hatred is very high, i basically dont believe i deserve to live or am worth anything because of the general life ive had. So i dont try, ever. I dont attempt anything, ever. I dont take risks often. I basically see myself as a subhuman at best who will fail at anything they do. I want to die but im too much of a pussy to kill myself. Thats the only thing i havent given up in life, is life itself. Everything else i just give up on all the time. Things just feel unchangeable since ive been dealing with the same problems for a decade now, probably because ive had this mindset for as long as i can remember. Its a self fulfilling prophesy
>>33804234See a therapist. I'm being serious, this isn't funny.
>>33804236Every person ive known who has gone to a therapist has just been put on pills and ended up worse. I have no idea how much they can really help you especially when you are on the verge of totally giving up on life, or at least, have been at that point for years. My concern is its not fixable through therapy and they just put me on pills that fuck my brain up and make me worse. Or they will put me in an institution which will put me into debt and, again, make my life worse
>>33804257Just fucking do it you've erased a decade of your life already kill your stupid fucking ego before it kills you. Go and see a therapist. It's an order.
>>33804268How do you even get a therapist anyways? Do you just go to your doctor for a checkup and ask?
>>33804257>Every person ive known who has gone to a therapist has just been put on pills and ended up worseOk. Then do nothing. Thanks for stopping by.
>>33804308Yes. It depends on the country, but generally speaking, yes.
>>33804318I just didnt know if therapy is literally the only way out of this mindset or if there was other ways to do it
>>33804333Yes, the people who specialize in helping psychological issues are the only people who can help you with your psychological issues. If people could just will themselves out of deep seated trauma the world would be a much simpler place.
>>33804234>>33804257>>33804308As someone who's been averse to therapy all of my life and is finally going to try it, look at this: if you're ready to die, what've you got to lose? Take the normiepill and go try a therapist and see if they can help. I mean, your brain is already fucked up if you want to die, so worst case scenario the medicine actually works and you start to feel better.I really feel you though. I'm not a failure and don't see myself as one, but I am chronically sick so even though I have plenty of reasons to be happy, I can't help but feel really negative feelings/want to die all of the time. So we're in a similar boat. But the conclusion I've kind of arrived at is that if I'm feeling this low, the worst thing that can happen is I can go up. So maybe it's worth giving a try.>>33804308It depends on your insurance if you're in the USA, but yes, typically by seeing your general practice doctor they can lead you in the right direction to one. But keep in mind that it's up to you to find a therapist that fits and you often won't find the best one right off the bat. I've tried therapy before and got a really lazy bitch that compared me to a lifetime movie and it turned me off therapy for years up until now. So just be open to the fact you may find some shitty therapists and wait until you've found someone you click with before accepting any medicine from them.Also, don't be a sperg and fall in love with your therapist or let your therapist fall in love with you. It's fun but not worth it.
>>33804234you did not just bait me with that image
>>33804234knowing you have a problem and not blaming others as a scapegoat is already a huge fucking step. seriously, so many people will never ever get to this step, you're already doing really welllike others have said, therapy isn't going to be easy, and dont expect instant miracles, but it is your best betintrospection like you have already demonstrated is so incredibly powerful, you have huge potential to go placesI'll be cheering for you, dude
>>33804346The thing is i dont feel like i am as low as i can go. I have a place of my own, i can buy things i want, i dont work a job i hate. I have so many luxuries. I am just never where i want to be, nor is anything good enough. Ive been, though, a problem around everyone most of my life. I have never came off as normal. And like basically every single person who spent a large amount of time on 4chan i have struggle immensely with getting a girlfriend and the girls i have temporarily attracted cheated or practically abused me. It sucks a lot of the motivation to live out of my life when i am going years between having a hug too. I used to use escorts and its literally day and fucking night between when i saw one The issue is right now bad days are only ever two or three days. Ive watched several people i used to be friends with become total strangers as they got put on pills and stopped being human beings at all. They literally cant live without them. If they get off those pills they try to kill themselves immediately from how hard the come down is. That is a significantly bigger issue for me than anything im dealing with right now. I am just unmotivated with life, and feel like a failure, and have a very defeatist mindset. I am doing alright but just struggling. >>33804455Thanks, i try to take credit for what i have actually done to myself and for the most part ive fucked myself up more than anyone else. Ive also let far too many people get to me and its ruined most of my life in the proces.
>>33804268>Just fucking do it you've erased a decade of your life already kill your stupid fucking ego before it kills you. Go and see a therapist. It's an order.lmao more pain more pressure i will make it
>>33804399Teehee
>>33804234It seems you have your answer, find something you like and try it. If you want girls then do something physical for confidence (lifting, etc)>>33804236More therapy? It seems he's got himself diagnosed already
It's a phase
>>33804234I could express my thoughts but this time I might finally be rangebanned for breaking us law or whatever
>>33804268>>33804318>>33804333>>33804343>>33804346Therapy is for women. What OP needs is start finding a path to success in at least one area of his life, and nobody can help him with that
>>33805405This phase has lasted nearly 17 years for me on the low end. >>33804852>If you want girls then do something physical for confidence (lifting, etc)Ive given up on women at this point. I literally dont understand them and never will. Most guys i know who have a woman in their lives had to do nothing to get them. They didnt need to lift, they didnt need to make more money or dress better. I feel like i am beyond entitled to a woman but the truth is i had two chances, lack of experience fucked it up, and then i never ever got a chance again. 12 years later, nothing. Even if by some miracle i do find one theres a good chance shes going to cheat anyways since i am considered beyond below average for some reason. Its insane how fucked i am i cant even put it into words without whining more than i already am. >More therapy? It seems he's got himself diagnosed alreadyIve never really been to a therapist. I have no idea what i would get diagnosed with other than major depression with suicidal idealization. Which is going to only be cured through pills. Ive dealt with a lot of unnecessary bullshit that at least from talking to people is disproportionate to what every other guy deal with. There has to be something seriously wrong with me and more wrong than i even know. A therapist might help with beyond the obvious. >>33805507What are you going to say that would get you banned for breaking the law? Were you going to advise me to kill the president or kidnap kids or something? This isnt the UK, the level of thoughts you would have to have to get rangebanned would have to be insane.
>>33805642> What OP needs is start finding a path to success in at least one area of his life, and nobody can help him with thatAgreed. I just cant seem to do that so i have a sort of learned helplessness. A lot of people around me believe i never tried but thats because their metric for trying results in success so if you dont have success it means you didnt try. Its weird. Its like a normal person has never truly faced failure. Every time i try i put all my energy into it, i shift my entire life towards that goal, and i try for months if not years. Two years ago i went to the gym 3x a week every week for a year. No progress, couldnt keep up with calories and life kept getting in the way, i burned out. Last year i tried it again, this time gaining some weight and muscle but over all failing because i couldnt keep up with it. I then tried to get a different career but was rejected from every interview, i then tried starting a small business but that fell apart. I was then fired from my current job for under-performing and then had to get a job flipping burgers. I watched literally every single woman ive ever had even the vaguest interest in reject me then date a guy who by several metrics should be considered worse than me. I really want to be a different person but its hard to do that when it seems like the loser you are is destined. When you try for decades and fail and fail. When your entire life is giving up and admitting defeat. Im sure there is an answer for why i failed all these things, im sure there is a full explanation. But at the end of the day it reminds me of that old negging xfcd comic "the only thing standing in the way of your dreams is that the person having them is *you*".
>>33805859This one
>>33804257The fix is easy, therapists are just fucking scam artists. OP needs “wins”. He needs dopamine, he needs hugs from a cutie with nice tits, he needs self-respect earned through competency. The answer is obvious. Put these people in a school like program where they can meet people, learn new skills and reenter the world with confidence.
>>33805859Something like this could have been writen by me. I don't know what to say OP. I want to give myself a few more years to try to experience something good in life and then it's over
>>33805868I like the idea of a therapist since its something ive never tried so maybe that would be an out from this. The problem is what you are explaining is yes, what i needed and what i needed a fucking decade ago by this point but its also kinda like saying "his only problem is he doesnt have a billion dollars" sure, that would solve things, but i cant just go to the "billion dollars" store and get that. And this is what creates the victim/loser mindset. No one else had to do that, no one else has this chronic of a problem. So there must be just something unchangeably wrong with me so no advice will ever fix anything because im just a loser by default and shouldnt have ever been born. I probably needed success a long long time ago but i grew up a loser so no surprise i became a loser adult. Theres a part of me that seriously wonders if there is ever going to be an out for this or if suicide is just the natural expected end to this because ive been this way for as long as i can remember. I remember having this learned helplessness in gym class when i was like 7. Its borderline who i am at this point but i hate it and wish i could change it all. Im not even sure if dopamine and hugs from cuties would even be ENOUGH anymore to make up for the ridiculous bullshit, the disproportionate bullshit, i had to deal with for most of my life. So now im trying to set up a doctors appointment to try a therapist because maybe they have some strategy to help deal with what is effectively 20 years of trauma by this point at least(im 30 now)
>>33805894I know ill never kill myself, which means there is some hope left in there. Ive came close numerous times but always chickened out. So i basically feel like i dont really have any way out other than waiting for death but i also know death is going to take a long long time to get here plus i have a fear of the existence of hell.
>>33804236The only male therapist in a 40 mile radius is beyond booked
>>33805977I hope we both find a male one because I feel like talking to a woman about these problems would be like talking to a rich billionaire about being homeless. They would just subconsciously or consciously see you as an enemy to everything they stand for. They would just see you as death, which is how women see weak loser men
>>33804234Read The Master Key to Riches and Psycho-Cybernetics. The mental self image works in both directions you can change it through reinforcement. Write down your goals and wants and read them every day. Be grateful for what you have and you will get more.
>>33804234what motivates me is the fear of regret, regretting not doing things, regretting missed opportunities.
>>33806551I have a similar motivation as well. I want to experience everything but the issue is some things aren't possible for me. It seems like the biggest thing that isn't possible is love and relationship because to get what I want I basically have to hit it early. I can't have a relationship like I want passed the age of 30 and I just don't relate or get along with younger women. I do try though which is why it annoys me when people try to tell me I don't, I try with a lot of stuff. But for the last like two or so years I've been in a major slump.>>33806504Thanks for the book recommendations. I will have to check them out. And I am grateful for what I got. Truthfully the only two things I really want out of life atm is a good career and a woman. And both feed into each other. If I could come home and get a back rub or cuddle with someone I could deal with the stress of trying to manage a good career but I can't get a woman at my age without a good career because I need to offset the negatives I have. That seems to be the case with a lot of men my age. It's almost as if there's something stopping all of us but it's not universal enough to be fixed simply.
Unironically, becoming a god in one domain of relevance to existence will make you feel divine. There is a reason why fat balding manlet businessmen and artists and scientists don't shitpost on this forum. Obama is black which is considered a disenfranchised ethnicity in America, yet he became the most powerful political figure in the world back in the day. Look at his smile. You think he cares about approval from 21-year-old college sluts on tinder, hinge and instagram?
>>33806822Obama is the only contemporary president who know how to tie a tie knot baka
>>33805835Clean your room
>>33806199I tried to see one about pale white teen white women only wanting to date blacks instead of their own race and she said yeah we like black men it’s something you have to deal with so I’m done with bitches. They can die.
>>33809941The only white women I've met who date black guys are trashy as fuck ones. Like ones I wouldn't want to be with anyways because they are effectively garbage people
>>33809996Too bad I’m only attracted to women that look like that, no tattoos or piercings, tall, not fat, avoid tans, and have pretty feet. I can not find them attractive if I know they fuck blacks. Even the female therapists think it’s good to racemix but only black with white females.
>>33804234I have the same mindset, prozac ended up helping a bit. Like I still hate myself and see nonstop proof of how much of a useless fucking loser I am, but it DOES make you care a lot less about being a failure.Trying to be productive helps as well, but for me that usually ends in frustration and more self hate but still, its a good thing to try to do I believe.
>>33806775>But for the last like two or so years I've been in a major slump.i really get it. i am in a similar boat, and every time i have almost nearly totally given up i meet someone, it has happened twice. haven't met this girl yet but we are talking, have been for a few months, and things are going well. i hesitate to say it but it looks like she could be the one.point is: i keep trying, i exhausted many dating websites and i was on my last leg and this girl, who is way younger than me (legal though) messaged me. i was just really honest about myself and what i wanted in a relationship and literally a few days before i had someone message me like "wtf you are a horrible person" and then this other girl messaged me like "sounds good, i'm down"maybe do set a time limit but keep trying, so you know you have no regrets.when my time limit was up i was going to become a homeless mountain hermit.>inb4 you would never survivei hail from /out/ i have lived out in the mountains for weeks, no supply runs.>>33804257>Every person ive known who has gone to a therapist has just been put on pills and ended up worsethat's not therapy. a good therapist can help you with talk therapy. do not accept pills. do not take them. when therapy is good it can really help and helped me too.tl;dr you have to try, then, make a major change. the more honest you are the more you get the life you want.
Sounds just like me. Do you have an inferiority complex too? I can't seem to escape this pit of learned helplessness and feelings of inferiority. I have no confidence in myself either. I'm a 34 year old virgin. Life has reinforced my feelings of inferiority to everyone. I was 5'5 and ugly so girls wouldn't touch me. Too stupid for school. Too stupid and unfocused to really get good at something. Too stupid to make it anywhere in a job. I'm just painfully mediocre at best, horrible at worst. I have lots of self-hatred and I also view myself as subhuman. I see myself as incapable of being human and interacting with the world, so I don't even bother to leave my house at this point. I'm trying therapy and meds again but it hasn't done anything so far
>>33810003Every white girl I've met who has a preference for black guys meets none of those standards lmao
>>33810988
>>338042341. Identify why you fail and rectify those problems2. Cease habits you know to be bad 3. Start getting small victories to reactivate the work > win > reward pathways in your brain 4. Lift weights5. ???6. Profit 7. Come back here and try to share your advice that it really is that easy but nobody wants to hear it
>>33804234This is beyond /adv/'s paygrade. You need professional help, my friend — and it may not even involve medication, contrary to your other post’s concern. A professional can help you challenge how your mind is structuring outcomes and goals, and manage the intensity of some of the negative feelings you’re experiencing.If you have a corporate job, see if they offer services like Lyra. If not, check with your insurance or local low-income resources.But seriously — don’t deliberate on this. Push yourself to take action now, even if your mind tells you not to.
>>33805642>Therapy is for women.Unironically the mindset that leads men to kill themselves. >What OP needs is start finding a path to success in at least one area of his lifeBecause successful people don't suffer from anxiety, depression and suicide.
>>33814657Success breeds meaning and fulfilment.
>>33814650>Be some Psycho The Rapists willing Pay PiggyGetting strung between appointments where you get 2 minutes of progress during an hour and a half appointment because >98% of the appointment time is "an update" and the rest is them telling you BS you've already tried and failed to do, but blame you for "not trying" because you didn't try when THEY told you so it doesn't count.Therapists cause more problems than they cure (which is ZERO)
