>"You gotta be comfortable being alone with yourself before you can make friends and get a girlfriend"I hate when people tell me this. What does that even mean? I'm already alone all the time and bored because I feel like I'm unable to go out due to real world responsibilities and being stuck on my phone all the time, and I want to form social connections and pursue relationships to form connections
it means you're not good enough, which is obviously true.
>>33809650>What does that even mean?It's pretty self-explanatory OP.No matter who you're with or not with, the one constant is you. You're always with yourself, so you had better learn to know yourself and like yourself before you expect anyone else to.
>>33809650I HATE when people tell me that too because It's so grossly simplified.It makes it sound like - you have to be comfortable being alone. Some people even mean it this way.The opposite is true. Go out there, don't be alone.Find an event and go.I know It's the most difficult advice to follow, when people told me that - it was hard for me to admit that I cannot do that. It's just something not even fathomable, that I will go out by myself and do that.I'd need ATLEAST a friend, and even then It'd be difficult.Today, after a lot of self development, meaning - forcing myself to go anyway; I am capable of going alone, I know that I will have a good time regardless, because I'm with myself, and I will ALWAYS have fun even when I'm with myself, and if I don't have fun I trust myself to know that I will take myself out of that situation and navigate myself to a more desirable situation, without feeling like I was the problem.It's really great.So I think this is what people mean when they say that dreaded, stupid phrase.They mean - learn to be able to go out on your own, and know that you will still have fun, and still be okay, and you'll trust yourself that even if it isn't fun - It's not your fault.So that's my explanation of that phrase and I'd also like to add my advice to you that you should go out and do those things that you want to do. Don't cage yourself. Really, don't.I go to school 9 to 5 Mon through Fri, It's university, and I still go to an event every single evening of the week. AND on the weekends. All because I feel this BURNING desire to be with people, be outside, socialize, and hopefully eventually sometime maybe find a gf.so yeah, you CAN do it man. You really can.Good luck to you <3
>>33809650It means you are annoying and they don't want to listen to you whine about being lonely anymore. When you are annoying, people turn contrarian as a defense mechanism so you are conditioned to not bother them anymore with your emotional vampirism/covert narcissism.I hate it when a friend is like "I don't have any friends, boo hoo". I thought I was your friend, but I guess I don't count to you, so fuck off then.Social skills advice: Don't overthink the literal meaning of what people say, think about how the emotional impact, the power dynamics of what they are saying.Stop acting like a bloody used tampon. Then you won't be lonely and people won't feel the need to defend themselves against your bad influence.
>>33809650It's obviously not true because social isolation is used as torture, it basically destroys 90% of humans. Maybe a better way is "have a social circle before you find a gf."
>>33809650If you’re bored all the time you are clearly not comfortable by yourself. Being alone and bored was in my case a recipe for alcoholism before started to learn how to cope better>real world responsibilities Nut up buttercup. If you’re a man, sometimes you will endure some periods of loneliness and hard work. Sometimes that will be for years. Either commit to the bit and use this time to set yourself up for life, or change your life in such a way as to make room for socializing and entertainment. Even then, I seriously doubt you have zero time to put yourself out there. I log 80 hours a week or more at work and still have time to do things like go to church or socialize at the occasional trade show.
>>33809650>>"You gotta be comfortable being alone with yourself before you can make friends and get a girlfriend"Yeah, I hate this too. I am comfortable alone, where is my gf, motherfucker?!I intentionally focused on being fine alone, but I have built my life so that there is not place for woman in it. I don't miss women in my life, but I feel somewhat tricked.
>>33809741Good boi.
>>33809650Do not listen to normoids who haven't been alone for more than a day. They don't actually know what loneliness is. Loneliness is not when you can't see your friend because he's on a trip with his girlfriend, it's when you only have your pet to share your emotions with without judgement. It will break anyone eventually.
>>33809832What do you mean by "emotional impact" and "power dynamics"? I understand everything else, but I don't fully get those two parts. Do you mean like "be aware you're trauma dumping on people which is why they respond to you with dismissive remarks like that"?>>33809741I see. Thanks.
>>33809650It’s annoying and discomforting to be around someone who hates anything, but especially themselves. It’s easy for anyone who doesn’t have autism to detect this self hatred in others.It’s really just that people don’t want to be around other people that make them feel bad. Y contrast, those who accept and love themselves are quite pleasant to be around.
>>33811612too bad I have autism and adhd, so I fail to see how other people can detect this from others
